Shadows and Ash
by Kineil D. Wicks
Summary: So we send a kid with absolutely no training out into the wide world with only a disobedient Pikachu at his side. What could go wrong, right? Fortunately, we have a grumpy pitch-black legendary to keep an eye on him, although that's not without its pitfalls as well. After all, there is that one suspicious omen..."That the world will turn to shadows and ash."
1. The World's Best Costume

**Remember how I did that short Pokémon story a while back and said it related to a bigger story? This is it.**

 **Granted, this is one of those immensely popular (to write) rewrites of the first season, basically, mixed with the games and with no romantic relations** ** _at all_** **(come on, guys, they're ten when they start). So I'm basically boldly going where others have gone before, but we need more stories with Ash and Darkrai in them, so I'm going to do it!**

 ***ahem* Anywho….When reading through Pokémon fanfiction, I noticed that of the few stories with Ash and Darkrai in them, they always take place 1) after the movie, or 2) after the episode in which one appears. Makes sense, but I wanted to try something a little different, started a little thing…and it went from there.**

 **My plan is to integrate Pokémon urban legends into this story and other Pokémon references, so if any of you have suggestions, let me know. And please, feel free to constructively rip me a new one—how else will I learn? (I'm going to regret that sentence—I can feel it).**

 **General idea is to update every Wednesday, unless life gets in the way (which it frequently does).**

 **So! Without further ado:**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

 **The Incredibles** **© Pixar**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **With Halloween approaching, the Pokémon League would like to remind you to please take care while trick-or-treating. Reflective trick-or-treat bags and glow-in-the-dark stickers are encouraged. Please also stay in well-lit areas, as Ghost Pokémon tend to be attracted to Halloween festivities. And remember: if your Jack-o-lantern seems suspicious, please call a Pokémon removal service—it's probably a Pumpkaboo.**

Halloween was Ash's sort of holiday.

If for nothing else, because he could wear his Pikachu costume without getting odd looks.

Honestly, adults were weird—it was perfectly logical to the five-year-old's mind that if he wore his Pikachu costume long enough, he would grow up to be one. Now if only his mother would let him wear it all the time instead of insisting on washing it….

Right now, however, he focused on dashing about Pallet Town in his best imitation of Quick Attack, Gastly candy bag clenched tightly in his hand. There would be a party at Professor Oak's place later, and he had to get as much candy as possible—otherwise, Gary would tease him again and brag about how great he was.

Well, he'd show _him!_ If his plans to become a Pikachu didn't pan out, he could always become a Pokémon master.

He waved at the Officer Jenny supervising a cluster of children—they were out en masse tonight, due to the rumor that nights such as this attracted ghost and other such unpleasant Pokémon. Ash kind of wished that they wouldn't scare them off—he wouldn't mind meeting one of these so-called undesirables and see what the big fuss was about. Ugh, big group up ahead—quick! Dodge it! Between the buildings and zip around so he wasn't slowed down—

 _Oof!_

Ash was knocked down, but recovered quickly, ready to apologize to whoever he had just run into—

"Oh, _wow!"_ Ash exclaimed. "That's the _best_ costume ever! What Pokémon are you supposed to be?"

The big black thing he ran into glared at him with a light blue eye. **_"What Pokémon am I?"_** it asked in disbelief. **_"What kind of impudent question is that?"_**

"I…don't know?" Ash guessed; _impudent_ was currently out of his vocabulary range.

The black thing pulled itself up to its full height, pretty sizeable to a five-year-old, especially when the wispy white hair was taken into account. **_"I am Darkrai,_** " it thundered. **_"Master of nightmares, purveyor of fear! Tremble before me, pitiful human!"_**

"That's so cool," Ash declared.

 ** _"Did you miss the part about trembling before me?"_**

"I am Ash Ketchum!" Ash said, getting into it now. "Brace yourself for my mighty Thunderbolt!"

Silence.

 ** _"Was I supposed to be impressed?"_** Darkrai asked.

"I'm working on it," Ash muttered. "Hey, you should go to Professor Oak's party later—he's having a costume contest, and you'd totally win."

 ** _"I don't think so,"_** Darkrai said, floating off.

"But the whole town will be there! You _have_ to come!"

 _That_ made Darkrai pause. " ** _The whole town?"_**

"Yeah!"

Ash could tell the dark being was pondering this. " ** _Well, with a temptation like that—"_**

"Great! Come on!" Ash said, catching Darkrai's hand and dragging him (well, it sounded like a him) along.

 ** _"And what do you think you're doing?"_**

"The party's not for another hour—there's candy to be gotten before the adults come to their senses!"

Ash heard Darkrai sigh. **_"Bide your time,"_** he heard him mutter. **_"There'll be a good payoff shortly."_**

Ash wondered at that.

* * *

"Come on! The party's started!"

People had been _very_ impressed with the costume on Ash's new friend. Of course, said friend seemed to want to keep drifting off, but Ash kept him on track. And the fact that no one could figure out his floating trick made him doubly awesome, so there.

Now they were speeding up the hill—because Ash had to get there before—

"Hey, Ashy-boy!"

Gary.

Okay, Ash had to admit, Gary's Charizard costume was pretty cool. It had fangs and everything—although the flame on the tail was made of felt.

"Feh, I hope you don't think you're going to win the costume contest with that ratty old Pikachu costume!"

"Well, _you're_ not going to win either!" Ash declared, sticking his tongue out. "Because my new friend Darkrai's going to wipe the floor with you! Right?" Ash turned—

Darkrai wasn't there.

"Some friend," Gary snickered. "Hey, everyone! Ash has an imaginary friend!"

"I do not—he's real! He's real and people have seen him and—"

"Whatever," Gary said, walking off. "I have better things to do than to listen to _babies."_

"Aw, man, Darkrai, where are you?" Ash asked, scanning the darkness once more.

* * *

Feh.

Like he was going to be paraded around like some show-Furfrou. Not a chance.

But he had to admit, he owed the kid one thing: he had showed him when and where the most people would be tonight in Pallet Town.

Oh, this would be so sweet—terrify them now, and then later, when they went to bed, use that to make their nightmares even more potent. Oooh, this would be _great_.

But—he had learned enough from the contests in Sinnoh to know that one had to wait for the most opportune moment.

And that was the one where everyone's attention would be focused on one area—the time that the kid had unwittingly given him.

When the winner of that silly costume contest was announced.

* * *

Ash was having a good time, all things considered.

Sure, Gary had dunked him when he went to bob for apples. Sure, the punch tasted a little sour. Sure, his new friend had ditched him. At least he was having fun.

Of course, now Gary and his friends had taken to tugging on his Pikachu tail, so he was currently hunkered behind the snack table, sneaking snacks and taking inventory of his candy. His mom would help sort through it all later (and steal all his Tootsie Rolls—not that he minded), but it was good to have stock of what he had.

"All right everyone! It's time to announce the winner of the costume contest!" Professor Oak declared, prompting Ash to peek over the snack table. There was Professor Oak, on a raised platform with a mike in his hands, consulting a piece of paper. "And the winner is—"

 ** _"ME!"_**

Something big and black materialized over Professor Oak's head, sending everyone into a screaming frenzy.

Ash, however, blinked in surprise.

It was his new friend Darkrai!

Wait, he was zipping all over the place, jumping from shadow to shadow without touching the ground, sending balls of energy flying—how was he doing that?

 ** _"That's right! Flee before me, fools!"_** he thundered. **_"Run home and cower in terror!"_**

Wait a minute…was Darkrai a _Pokémon?_

* * *

Darkrai touched down once the building was cleared of humans, quite pleased with himself. Every last foolish little human had been scared out of their wits—the nightmares would be absolutely _delicious_ tonight.

He sensed something behind him, turned—

Oi—that idiot kid from earlier.

"That was _totally wicked!"_ the kid cheered, bouncing up and down. "How you zipped this way and that and flew all over the place—that's not a costume, is it? You're really a Pokémon! How cool is _that?_ "

Okay, there was something seriously wrong with this kid. He warmed up a Dark Void to knock him out.

"Can you teach me that? _Please?"_

Darkrai felt his eye twitch. _Huh? " **Excuse me?"**_

"I've decided I want to be a Darkrai when I grow up."

 ** _"What?"_** he asked flatly, Dark Void fizzling out—absolute disbelief had that effect.

"Or a Pikachu or a Pokémon master—whichever one works."

 ** _"I can already tell you that two of those options are entirely unfeasible."_**

"What does that mean?"

 ** _"That you're an imbecile."_**

"What does _that_ mean?"

 ** _"I can't help you,"_** Darkrai sighed, floating for the open window.

"Hey—hey wait!" the kid yelled, dashing for the window and hollering after him. "Hey! I'll see you tomorrow, all right? I live in the house down the street with the red roof! Okay?"

Oi. Like he needed the aggravation. What was wrong with the kid anyway, that he didn't run screaming in terror?

 _It's not like Kanto and Sinnoh are that close,_ he reminded himself. That was what made the place ideal. No one here had ever heard of the Pitch Black Legendary.

 _They will after tonight_ , he thought, perching on top of one of the roofs and walking down the peak, balancing on his long thin legs. Even at that, there wasn't a lot of interaction among Regions—it would take _years_ before anyone outside of Kanto knew a Sinnohan legendary was in the Region.

He glanced down at the roof he was on—red. On a house down the street.

 ** _"Ugh,"_** he noised, slapping a paw to his head and rubbing his face. While Pallet Town had seemed to be a great target at first—no strong trainers, at the back end of a route, with no real pull aside from some lab that didn't see much traffic—the kid was a snag he hadn't anticipated. He was loathe to kill the boy—that would attract _her_ , and he had come here to get _away_ from _her_.

But obviously, the diplomatic—and even the downright frightening—approach didn't work with the kid. He'd have to find someplace else.

He sighed. What else was there, really? Sinnoh was out—so was Johto, due to its ties with the Region; they would _know_ what a Darkrai was. Hoenn was out—too warm for his tastes. Unova? No, it smelled. Kalos? Meh…too many Fairy types flitting about—how embarrassing, to have to be worried about some little slip of a Pokémon that hid under a flower and blew away in a light breeze. Orre? No…something about that Region gave him bad vibes.

He supposed he could slink off to one of the so-called Wild Regions, where human influence hadn't reached—there were still hundreds of hectares of land that these uppity humans hadn't even clapped eyes on. But he had grown used to being around humans—and their nightmares were so much more vivid and varied than Pokémon nightmares; those usually tended towards being eaten by something bigger. And if he left the human domain...then some small part of him told him he'd have lost. And he didn't want that.

He sat on the edge of the house, clapped his hands to his head, and sighed. What was he going to do?

Movement attracted his attention—that stupid kid, waving excitedly at him and then running into the house. Boy, did he just give _him_ the wrong impression.

Darkrai launched himself into the air.

He needed to think.


	2. Field of Dreams and Nightmares

**Chapter 2, everybody! And** ** _wow_** **, I wasn't expecting this much attention. Five reviews, nine favorites, and twenty follows on chapter 1, plus people following me. I shall strive to live up to expectations (and finish my other live stories, because that's extremely important too).**

 **Pokeevee57, thanks for the review! Yes, yes he was—I watched a bunch of the original episodes for this story, and when I did, the one thing I kept repeating was "why did this become such a hit? None of the characters are being very likeable." Saying that, they grew out of it and became the lovable characters we know today. :D Ah, I think we all might have been idiots at five (I know I was—I don't think I was much improved at ten, either ^^;).**

 **Bladetri, thanks for the review! I shall strive to continue to please! :D**

 **Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! No we don't…and that's right, Volt Tackle only comes from special breeding….I doubt it—although in the tenth movie, he does make an effort at being wary about Darkrai (and then promptly decides he needs a friend—I think it's against his nature to view Pokémon in a negative light). That was one of my all-time favorite episodes—pity we never see anything come of that….**

 **Rocki. D. Martinez (sorry for the spaces, FanFiction is being weird), thanks for the review! At least there's that. ^^**

 **CandlitNights, thanks for the review, and can I just say** ** _wow_** **. Wasn't expecting anyone to be fired up about this….Thank you, I'm glad you like it, and I hope to continue to please! I never followed the show strictly either (didn't get the channel it was on for the first several seasons, followed it during Hoenn, then sort of dropped off of it during Sinnoh), so it's probably going to be following the games for the most part. Me too—Darkrai is officially my favorite Legendary, so I really want to do him justice (and have his presence actually impact the story, so keep an eye on me). Nah—learned how to take them in college and after being on the Internet for so long, and I'm always open for improvement; after all, any writing is practicing my writing style. ^^ I definitely agree with your first two points—I generally struggle with adding descriptions, because I haven't hit that sweet spot of "just enough description" yet and I'm worried about being** ** _too_** **descriptive. On the third point, part of the reason it jumps around is because originally it was two chapters, and I eventually made it into one because one by itself was too short. I'll definitely work on that, though. Glad you enjoy Darkrai here—and the goof known as Ash. :D I am too—I have a general idea of his backstory written up, so I should be able to integrate it properly….Well, the plan is to do the whole Indigo League/first game, so it should take a while. I know! Part of the reason I started this was because I wanted a new Darkrai story. Thanks again, and I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **The Pokémon League would like to remind you to not leave your children unattended. Children under the age of ten must be accompanied by a trusted adult or Pokémon at all times. We do not want a repeat of the Pallet Town Spearow Incident of '97.**

The happy prattle of children jolted Darkrai out of his morning reverie. Ugh, was he losing his touch or something? He was supposed to have spooked the whole town into a horrified nightmare, and there was someone having _fun._

Only _one_ someone, now that he was listening properly.

He quickly launched himself into the air, leveling out when he was high enough to be mistaken for a random bird Pokémon, squinting in the detestable light of the November morning—the weak watery autumn light hurt his eyes, but even at that, the kid was really _way_ too easy to spot. And playing by himself in a field—did his mother _want_ to get rid of him?

Of course, right now she was probably operating on very little sleep….Oh no, it was _the_ kid.

 ** _"Halloween is over, kid,"_** Darkrai declared, dropping in and looking the ratty Pikachu costume over.

"Oh hey, you came back!" the kid said, looking entirely too happy to see him. He _seriously_ needed a better PR man.

"So what kind of Pokémon is a Darkrai?" the kid asked, ignoring his glare—obviously, he needed to practice it. "I asked my mom last night, and she didn't know."

 ** _"I'm a legendary Pokémon, not a Rattata,"_** Darkrai snapped. **_"It's not like every trainer, coordinator, and professor has heard of me."_** A fact that _still_ rankled—his goody-no-shoes pleasant-dreams-giver counterpart Cresselia had more airtime than he did. Of course, she didn't scare people witless—ah, idea. **_"Besides, men tremble to even think of my name, let alone speak it."_**

"Cool," the kid noised. Ugh. "So I've been thinking about making a career change to Darkrai instead of Pikachu—how do I start?"

 ** _"Kid, that ship sailed a long time ago—you have as much chance of that happening as a photo being taken of that so-called 'Missing-No.'"_**

"It's _real?"_

 ** _"Is that what I said? No, it was not. Now beat it kid—you never saw me."_**

"Yes I did!"

Ugh— _double_ ugh: more kids were coming. He vamoosed to cover before the kid could even blink.

"Hey, look everybody! It's Ashy-boy!" some Weavile-looking kid declared, pointing the Pikachu-kid out to the others; now _they_ were properly ragged-looking from a restless night's sleep, even if they did pick up the pace upon spotting Pikachu-kid. "Out here talking to your imaginary friend again?"

"Darkrai's _real_ , Gary," the kid said earnestly.

"Whatever," the other kid said, waving him off.

Darkrai watched for a few more minutes, to the point that it became very clear to him that the Pikachu-kid was the odd man out, even with accounting for sleep-deprived grouchiness—the others were ganging up on him, and the stupid kid was just _taking_ it. Oi, human reasoning—it made no sense. At least when Cresselia ran him out of Sinnoh, there had been a reason.

"Take off the dork costume!"

"No!"

"You're such a loser, Ash!"

"What a Quagsire!"

"What a Slowpoke!"

"No," the leader declared. "Ash is a Magikarp! A weak little Magikarp that isn't worth the time it'd take to catch it!"

"Oh, oh _yeah?"_ Pikachu-kid asked—need new material, kid. "I'll show you! I'll be a Pokémon master and be _way_ better than you! I'll even train a Magikarp! I'll train a whole _team_ of Magikarp!"

"Boy, then you _are_ an idiot!"

Which launched another round of inane insults and browbeating—Darkrai could practically count the brain cells that were dying just from _listening_ to it. Time to scram. Now, while the kids were distracted and his sanity was intact.

So why wasn't he moving?

Darkrai sighed, then launched a Dark Void at the gaggle of gits. Anything to shut them up.

The Pikachu-kid stared at him as he stepped out—no need to let the nightmares they'd be experiencing go to waste.

"How'd you do that?" the kid asked. " _Why_ did you do that?"

 ** _"Because,"_** he said simply, floating over. Maybe his tone would shut the kid up.

No dice. "Are they all right?"

 ** _"They'll live."_** He turned his turquoise eye on the kid. **_" You, on the other hand—would it kill you to grow a backbone?"_**

"They're bigger than me," the kid muttered. "And there's a lot more of them than there are of me."

 ** _"Excuses."_**

"Well…you can help, right? If you're a Legendary, then you _have_ to help people!"

 ** _"You've been reading too many fairy tales."_**

"So…you _can't_ help, is that it?"

 ** _"More like I don't want to."_**

The kid nodded. "Okay, I can get that."

Darkrai blinked. **_"That was too easy—what are you playing at?"_**

"I'm used to people not wanting to be around me—it's a thing."

 ** _"Maybe if you bathed more."_**

"I think they just think I'm weird. Anyway, I understand if you don't want me around. Bye, and thanks," he said, waving and walking off.

Darkrai blinked—okay, that was _low._ Even if the kid didn't realize it, that was _low_.

Mostly because he knew where the kid was coming from.

Mostly because he knew what it was like to be the odd 'mon out.

Mostly because he knew what it meant for even _one_ person to tolerate your existence.

He drifted beside him in silence until the kid took notice—which didn't take very long. " ** _Don't make it a thing,"_** he told the kid. **_"I just don't have anywhere better to be at the moment."_**

The kid grinned. "So what's the first thing I need to know? So I can see about being a Darkrai when I grow up."

He finally hit upon a way to turn this in his favor. **_"The first rule about Darkrai is: Do not bother other Darkrai."_**

"And what does—"

 ** _"You're bothering me."_**

"Oh….Hey, wait a minute! That's not fair!"


	3. Journey Start!

**Chapter 3, everyone! In which we finally jump into the show and I am still overwhelmed by the attention this story is getting….**

 **And I'm apparently the only one in my Internet circle who is actually happy with the election results….Oh well.**

 **Pokeevee57, thanks for the review! Best card to play. I know! We needed more Darkrai in our lives—I mean, look at him! Such a scary cool Pokémon, and well-designed too. Ash might not do the team of Magikarp, but I'm fairly certain he'll get at least one—and yes, that will probably be exactly what happens. ;) I think it might be more common-sense dumb as opposed to smarts dumb—I could pronounce paleontology at five, but didn't have enough sense to know that getting my hair cut didn't hurt. ^^; Thank you, glad you like it—Darkrai has been fun to write so far, although there's been some push and pull as far as getting personal stuff from him (but we're working on it). Keep at it, you can do it! :D Me too….(I had an idea, and fortunately have Google to back me up—thank you! ^^).**

 **Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! Ah—to be fair, it's been years since I've seen that episode, so I only remember the broad strokes of it. *puts it on to-watch list* This is true. And that is true too.**

 **Bladetri, thank you for the review! I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! Don't worry, we'll be getting past the "daft kid in a costume" this chapter (and to be fair, five is about the time one has unrealistic goals for adulthood like becoming a favorite animal—I personally wanted to be a velociraptor…). This is true—we shall see how this goes….**

 **Dragonkeeper10, thanks for the review! I shall strive to continue to please! Aha, yes—he's had enough of it over the years. :)**

 **CandlitNights, thanks for the review! Well, have to keep plugging along—it's kind of like** ** _Ratatouille,_** **where Gusteau says to Remy that food will come to those who love to cook; reviews will come to those who write. :D Most definitely. :D Yes, I'm definitely including the first movie—I already have it planned where it will come in (and figuring out the movie with Darkrai in it was what encouraged me to do the rest of the Indigo League). Ah…I think my sparseness might come from learning how to write scripts—there less is always more. I'll definitely work on beefing up my descriptions though and giving a little more from Darkai's side (I don't know what it says about me that I was surprised you saw that comment and the anatomy chart—I'm glad you liked it, though :D). Lingering some places might be the spot I need to work on—looking over some of my writing, I tend to just go rapid-fire. Haha, I hadn't given any thought as to how Ash's Pikachu costume meets its untimely demise, but that works. :D I love it too—here's hoping I can continue to please. :D**

 **DarkstalkerWoF1499, thanks for the review! Will do! :D**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **The Pokémon League would like to remind all Regional Trainer Sponsors to accurately estimate the number of starter Pokémon required for the year. In case of underbooking, substitute starters at the appropriate level can be used. A list of suitable substitute starter Pokémon can be found on the Pokémon League website.**

The town Dodrio perched nobly on a roof, raising all three heads to call a greeting to the rising sun.

That greeting quickly turned into an agitated squawk as something big and black darted by, executing a tight circle around the clock tower before zooming off, too fast for those below to track and angling for a house on the outskirts of town.

The black blot became identifiable as Darkrai when he slammed into a window, pressing his claws and face against the panes.

 ** _"Wake up, you loser!"_** he thundered.

Ten-year-old Ash Ketchum fell out of bed with a yelp.

Darkrai chuckled, quite pleased with himself, and levered the perpetually-unlocked window open so he could enter. **_"Don't you ever clean?"_** he asked, glancing about.

"I was getting ready for my Pokémon journey!" Ash countered, gathering up some of the refuse littering the floor. "Wait—what time is it?"

Darkrai picked up Ash's alarm clock, then examined the end of the wire, where a Rattata had obviously gotten to it. **_"Eight o' clock,"_** he said, remembering the time from when he buzzed by the clock tower moments ago. **_"And you are going to be late if you don't get off your dead rear."_**

Not a problem—he had hardly gotten the sentence out before Ash was scurrying around his room. **_"I thought you were getting ready for this last night."_**

"I was, but I had to watch the League finals last night!" Ash yelled, running into his closet. Darkrai couldn't help but wonder if the kid thought he'd come out fully clothed one of these days, like the guy in the ridiculous comics he read.

Ash came out with two tee-shirts. "What do you think? White or black?"

" ** _Kid, if you can't dress yourself at this point, I don't think I can help you."_**

"I think black," Ash decided. "I mean, people get dirty on these trainer journeys, right?"

 ** _"You're still going to be late if you don't hurry it up—it's not like you're leaving direct from the lab."_**

"Okay, hold on," Ash said, trying to tug on his shirt while navigating out the door. "I—"

Fell down the steps.

 ** _"The village idiot all grown up and heading out into the wide world,"_** Darkrai sighed, clasping his claws together in mock-whatever people meant when clasping their hands together. **_"And they're giving him a Pokémon for good measure. The world as a collective whole is doomed."_**

* * *

Ash ran for the Professor's lab as fast as he possibly could—which was actually a pretty good clip, considering he had spent most of his time dashing around the nearby fields and hanging out with Darkrai.

It had taken him until he was eight before he was convinced that life as a Pokémon wouldn't quite pan out for him—Darkrai had been key there.

 ** _"All right, if you think you can be a Pokémon, then you have to be able to battle,"_** Darkrai had told him, pointing at a little purple mouse. **_"Right there—a level two Rattata. Think you can manage?"_**

He couldn't—so he went with his third choice: become a Pokémon master and travel the world.

But first, he needed a Pokémon. And for that, he needed the Professor.

Ash skidded to a halt as his long-declared rival, Gary Oak, stepped out of the lab.

"Oh, look, it's Ashy-boy! Gary crowed, giving him that _you're the inferior one_ look that Darkrai pulled off so much better. "Where's your friend? Still invisible?"

Ugh—Darkrai had explained the importance of no one else knowing he was around, but it still left Ash holding the bag when he'd suddenly flit out of sight and leave Ash talking to thin air. _That_ hadn't exactly done much to endear him to people, and he was starting to get sick of the hairy eye everyone was giving him.

But—that was all about to change.

"So which one did you get, Gary?" Ash asked politely—this would be a great way to find out which starter would give him the edge, too.

"Like I'm telling _you_ ," Gary laughed. "Besides, I'll have you know I got a _very_ special Pokémon from my Pops—you'll never match it in a million years, you little loser!" Gary laughed again as he shouldered his backpack and walked off, heading for Route One. "Smell ya later, Ashy!"

 _Miss ya never, Gary,_ Ash thought, blowing a Razzberry at the back of Gary's head before running to the Professor's lab.

Professor Oak himself answered the door.

"Oh, Ash, it's you," he said.

"Don't sound so happy to see me," Ash said before he could stop himself—it was the sort of snark Darkrai was good for, and it had rubbed off on him over the years. Again, not the sort of thing that would endear him to people. His mother especially didn't appreciate the snark—Ash had become well too acquainted with the time-out corner over the years because of it.

"Actually, I'm not," Professor Oak explained, rocking back and rubbing his face before running his hand through his gray hair. "Someone came into my lab last night and stole all the starters."

Ash gaped for a few moments. "Wait— _all_ of them?"

Professor Oak nodded. "Yes—I've alerted the police, and they're investigating the theft. In the meantime, however, I've been having to give people the bad news."

"Wait—but Gary—"

"Insisted on starting today, so I gave him a Pokémon to get him started," Professor Oak said. "Unconventional, but—"

"Well, do that for me!" Ash declared, adamant. "Come on, Professor—I'll take a Magikarp even, if that's all you have!"

"I wouldn't do _that_ ," Professor Oak said, sounding appalled. "You wouldn't be able to defend yourself with a Magikarp—they only know Splash."

"Well you must have _something!"_

Professor Oak's expression was very much like the _oi_ expression Darkrai would have when talking to him. "Well, I do have _one_ that would be the appropriate starting level," he said, rubbing his face again. "I haven't had the chance to train it yet, though, so you'd actually be _worse_ off…."

"Does it know more than Splash?"

"Yes."

"I'll take it."

"Weren't you listening?"

" _Please_ , Professor," Ash begged.

"Fine," Professor Oak sighed. "But don't say I didn't try to warn you. Follow me."

Ash did so, ecstatic, barely noting the machines and science stuff they were passing. He was finally getting a Pokémon!

Professor Oak selected a Pokéball off of a shelf full of Pokéballs and handed it to Ash. Ash noted the lightning bolt on it before pressing the button and releasing the Pokémon.

"This is Pikachu," Professor Oak declared as the white light faded.

Ash knew that from the get-go—the little yellow Pokémon was _perfect!_ And how fitting was it that his favorite Pokémon would be his starter?

"Hi little buddy!" Ash chimed, picking Pikachu up with the intention of hugging it.

The greeting was reciprocated by an electric shock.

"As you can see," Professor Oak said. "Pikachu has an…electric personality."

"I can tell," Ash coughed, before collapsing.

This was going to be fun, he could tell. And note to self—sarcasm was Darkrai's thing.

* * *

Did it really take _that_ long?

Darkrai had killed the past hour by zipping about Route One, entertaining himself by occasionally scaring the bejeepers out of the local Pokémon, including a large flock of Spearow. Now he was above Pallet Town again—ah, there he was, and with the Pikachu he had overheard Professor Oak talking about. Which reminded him….

He zipped into the Pokémon lab and returned the starters he stole, settling the Pokéballs back into their precise place before looming over the translucent red tops.

 ** _"One word,"_** he snarled. **_"One word about this, and you'll never have a good night's sleep again."_**

Satisfied that the starters were properly cowed, he headed for Route One.

* * *

It didn't take long to catch up with Ash, especially considering the fact that he and the Pikachu didn't seem to get along. Of course, now that he was nearer, he felt that that was an understatement—he could smell ozone and burnt hair.

 ** _"I see this is going well,_** " Darkrai observed as he dropped down, startling the Pikachu half to death.

"He doesn't like me," Ash said simply.

 ** _"I can see that."_**

 _"Wait—are you a Pokémon? You've got to help me,"_ the Pikachu said, recovering. _"I can't be stuck with this yutz kid."_

 ** _"Then you probably shouldn't have been chewing on wires,"_** Darkrai said.

Ash looked between them. "Wait—how come he can't talk like you can?" Ash asked.

 ** _"I'm a Legendary,"_** Darkrai said, addressing Ash. **_"We get certain perks that come with the title."_**

 _"Wait, this kid is just figuring this out?"_ the Pikachu asked, pointing.

 ** _"Congratulations: you now officially belong to the village idiot."_**

The Pikachu threw its front paws up into the air. _"What, am I being punished?"_

 ** _"The universe moves in mysterious ways."_**

 _"It was a couple of stupid wires! The punishment doesn't fit the crime here!"_

"What's he saying?" Ash asked.

 ** _"He doesn't like you,"_** Darkrai said, deciding to summarize.

"I can tell."

 _"Can I go now?"_ the Pikachu asked.

 ** _"No,"_** Darkrai told it.

"So what can I do?" Ash asked, sitting down cross-legged in front of the Pikachu. "We're going to be travelling together, but I don't want to start off on the wrong foot. I can't handle being turned into a nightlight on a regular basis."

 _"Tell him to release me,"_ the Pikachu demanded.

 ** _"First off, you little yellow rat,"_** Darkrai snarled. **_" You don't tell me what to do. Secondly, I'll have you know that you're the only Pokémon he's got."_**

 _"What about you?"_

 ** _"I am nobody's Pokémon, you little electric vermin!"_**

"Still not going well?" Ash asked.

 ** _"He wants you to let him go."_**

"But then I won't—"

 ** _"I've explained that."_**

"What about a trust exercise?" Ash asked, addressing the Pikachu. "Would that work?"

The Pikachu gave it some thought before smiling deviously. _"Sure,"_ it said, turning its attention back to Darkrai. _"Oh good sir—"_

 ** _"Don't get smart,"_** Darkrai ordered.

 _"Would you please tell him that I'll travel with him if he destroys the Pokéball I was in?"_

 ** _"Not a chance."_**

"What'd he say?" Ash asked.

 ** _"He wants you to destroy the Pokéball. And before you do,"_** he added, noting Ash's nodding. **_"Doing so releases him from your care—meaning the second you do, he's gone."_**

 _"You didn't have to explain it,"_ the Pikachu muttered, looking dejected.

Ash, meanwhile, was looking at the Pokéball. "What's wrong with a Pokéball, anyway?" Ash asked.

 _"What's wrong? What's wrong?"_ the Pikachu spluttered. _"I'll tell you what's wrong! Those little balls mean no more freedom, no more autonomy, no more life! It means I'm someone's possession now! I'm no longer my own 'mon!"_

 ** _"He's claustrophobic,"_** Darkrai decided to summarize.

Ash stared at the Pokéball before looking up at the Pikachu. "Well, if you don't want to be in it, I won't force the issue."

The Pikachu's ears twitched, but it still looked defiant. _"I don't believe it—humans always lie."_

Ash looked to Darkrai, who translated.

"Well, I can make it really easy," Ash declared. "You don't trust me—but Darkrai's a Pokémon, right? You can trust him?" The Pikachu debated a bit before nodding. "So I give your Pokéball to him—that way, I can't ever put you in one."

The Pikachu glanced between them for the longest time, giving the offer careful thought before finally saying something.

 _"Deal."_


	4. Route One

**Chapter 4, everybody! Where Ash catches his very first Pokémon, Darkrai quotes Phil from** ** _Hercules,_** **and we discover that a raindrop in the eye is** ** _very_** **uncomfortable.**

 **Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! To be fair, Pikachu's current experience with Pok** **é** **balls isn't all that hot—Professor Oak might have had something to keep the Pokéball locked so Pikachu couldn't just run off (we may never know…). I am lifting a bit from the games, which is why levels are mentioned—it's my theory that Pokémon can tell how strong another Pokémon is, and all the number-crunching stuff is something humans came up with because they can't tell. Darkrai just used a term he knew a human would get quickly. This is true—and this is also true; expect Pikachu to be a bit caustic and distrusting for a while.**

 **Pokeevee57, thanks for the review! Yes indeed—and wow, glad I made you laugh! This is true. Eh…to be fair, I'm not fond of 'bashing' a character, and we've just nixed the main reason Misty gets mad at Ash (stealing and then frying her bike), so it might not be so bad. I did! That's why we have Google. :D I've read the Inheritance Cycle—I have a writer friend who loves it, and I have some fond memories of discussing it with him and watching him geek out. :D Thank** ** _you_** **—and I'll try to take a peek at one of your stories when I get a chance. :D**

 **Dragonkeeper10, thanks for the review! Thank you, I'm glad you like it, and I hope to continue to please!**

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! Yeah…don't worry; they get better.**

 **Bladetri, thanks for the review! I'm glad you like it! :D**

 **Whatwasthatnoise, thanks for the review! Wow…glad I'm writing it then. I hope to continue to please!**

 **CnadlitNights, thanks for the review! I did too—I still remember seeing it in theaters, and all the hype around it (got a** ** _lot_** **of kids meals trying to get all the promotional material). I'm working on it….Yes, it is a little hard to switch back and forth—and then I'm working on a Ph.D., so I have to have a professional writing voice too (** ** _Don't Starve_** **fanfiction helps with that, oddly enough). Thank you, glad you like it! I'll keep an eye on that narrator. Glad you like that, too—I don't want him to go** ** _too_** **far, but it's hard to rein in a Legendary. Yes, he can't let it get around what a nice guy he really is. I** ** _know!_** **But from what I watched of the early episodes, Pikachu wasn't all that affectionate to begin with—he'll get better. And no worries—I love reviews of all sizes. :D**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

 **Hercules © 1997 Disney**

 **Cool Runnings** **© 1993 Jon Turteltaub ("This don't mean that I like you")**

 **Beetlejuice** **© 1988 Tim Burton ("You like it.")**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **The Pokémon League would like to remind you to not feed wild bird Pokémon. Not only does this neutralize the Pokémon's natural foraging instincts, but it also results in mobbing, and possible mutilation, of people caught in the open. Please, do not feed wild Pokémon.**

"Okay," Ash said, consulting his guide book. "Route One is supposed to be full of Pidgey, Spearow, and Rattata." He looked around carefully, not wanting to dislodge a now-rope-free Pikachu from his new perch on Ash's head. "I don't see any, though."

Darkrai started humming, something he normally did when he was about to be caught doing something he shouldn't.

"I take it I'm not going to be catching any Pokémon on this route," Ash observed.

 ** _"Not really,"_** Darkrai admitted, tapping his claws together. **_"You were taking too long—I got bored."_**

"Pi pika pi," Pikachu noised.

"What'd he say?" Ash asked.

 ** _"He wants to know why I'm following you around if I don't belong to you."_**

"Darkrai's my friend," Ash explained.

 ** _"I wouldn't go that far."_**

"Come on, we've known each other for years!"

 ** _"That doesn't mean that I like you."_**

"Ouch."

"Pika pika," Pikachu noised.

 ** _"Quality entertainment,"_** Darkrai said.

"What?" Ash asked.

 ** _"He asked me why I tolerate you then."_**

Ash gestured to the surrounding area—they were about to enter the forest on Route One. "You scared off any opposition—we're halfway through Route One and nothing's happened yet; how do you figure this is quality entertainment?"

 ** _"The fact that my tastes are more refined than yours."_**

"He likes me," Ash told Pikachu as they walked into the forest. "He doesn't want to admit it, but he does. Right, Da—"

Darkrai was gone.

"Oi," Ash noised. Oi and then some, as Darkrai said.

Laughter alerted him as to why Darkrai left.

"What's so funny?" Ash asked, upon spotting the source: a red-headed girl sitting at a stream, fishing.

"Nothing," she said, still snickering. "It's just—you're from Pallet Town, right?"

"Uh, yeah…."

"Just started?"

"How do _you_ know?"

"A lot of trainers start off from Pallet."

"You still didn't say what was so funny."

"Well…not many trainers starting out are so friendly with their Pokémon, or have them out and about—and then here you are with a Pikachu on your head and talking away like you're best friends."

"See a lot of newbie trainers?"

A brief moment of hesitation. "More than you would think."

Pikachu dropped down to Ash's shoulder and pointed at the girl. The message was clear: _introduce yourself, you idiot._

"My name's Ash Ketchum," Ash said. "And this is Pikachu." Something occurred to him.

"Wait—do you want a nickname?" Ash asked Pikachu. Pikachu stuck his tongue out in response.

"Don't feel too bummed—some Pokémon don't like having nicknames," the girl said.

"Yeah, Da—I have a friend who said that Pokémon have their own names and they don't want human names muddling them up."

"Huh," the girl said. "Oh—my name's Misty, by the way."

"Hi," Ash said, glad to finally have a name to put to her face. "So what are you fishing for?"

"Whatever's biting," Misty said. "But right now all I'm catching are Magikarp—I'm getting ready to go find somewhere else to fish, actually."

Ah, idea! Maybe he could get a Pokémon on Route One after all! "Hey, if you catch another one, can I have it?"

Misty gave him an odd look. "Seriously?" she asked. "You actually _want_ a Magikarp?"

"For a while now, actually—don't Magikarp evolve into Gyarados? And besides, I'll need a water or grass type for the Pewter City Gym."

"You _do_ know that Magikarp are universally famed for being useless, right?"

"I want to change that perception."

"All right," Misty sighed.

* * *

Darkrai, meanwhile, watched from afar as they chatted. The girl finally caught another Magikarp, which Ash captured excitedly. Oi, the kid would get worked up for anything.

Speaking of which, he'd have to remember to rib him later for this. Granted, the kid still thought girls had cooties, but that would make the ribbing that much better.

The Pikachu's question from earlier came back to him—why _was_ he following the kid around? He wanted to leave Pallet because it was starting to attract attention, yes, but why bother with following Ash?

To be honest, he didn't really know.

Quality entertainment. He'd stick with that for now.

* * *

Ash chatted with Misty as she walked her red bike to Viridian City.

"I still don't understand why you're _carrying_ that Magikarp instead of leaving it in its Pokéball," Misty said. "I mean, I get Pikachu, but Magikarp is a _fish_. It needs water."

Ash looked at the Magikarp—it was remarkably calm, content, and not gasping or struggling at all; he wondered how many water Pokémon with gills breathed air. "This'll get us acquainted better," Ash countered, shifting the Magikarp around so he could try to check it on his Pokedex. Professor Oak had told him that it performed a lot of functions, and right now he was trying to check his party Pokémon. Ah, here it was.

"Okay, so this is a male Magikarp," Ash read. "He has the special ability Swift Swim and knows Splash." He continued reading. "Okay, that's just mean."

Misty leaned over and read the Pokedex's entry. "I told you Magikarp were known for being useless."

"Yeah, but I thought this thing was supposed to be professional." He looked at the Magikarp. "Do you want a nickname? I promise it won't be anything mean."

The Magikarp just looked at him.

"Don't name him Carp or Magic," Misty said. "Those have been taken. Too many times to count, actually."

"How about a name that starts with an 'L'?" Ash asked. "He looks like his name should start with L. Larry? Leroy? Lenny?"

 _"Karp,_ " the Magikarp said.

"Lenny? You like that one?"

 _"Karp!"_

"Okay—hey, cool! The Pokedex recorded that!"

"'Lenny'?" Misty asked in disbelief.

"He likes it," Ash said simply as they left the forest and crested a hill.

"All right, I guess I can't argue with—wow! Look at that!"

"Woah," Ash breathed, following Misty's pointing finger.

It was a big gold and orange bird, flying lazily through the overcast sky, trailing a rainbow behind it.

"What is that?" Ash asked, holding his Pokedex up to examine it.

The Pokedex came up empty, to Ash's surprise. Didn't Professor Oak say this thing had all the info on Pokémon that he would need?

They watched as it flew into the clouds and was gone.

"That was pretty," Misty said.

"That was cool," Ash said.

"Karp," Lenny added.

"Pika," Pikachu noised. Then, more urgent: _"Pika!"_

Ash looked up in time to have a raindrop hit him in the eye. "Ack!"

"We're supposed to be getting showers today," Misty observed. "Come on!" she said, running her bike down the hill. "If we hurry, we can get to the Pokémon Center before the weather breaks!"

Ash waited a moment before looking around for Darkrai. "Darkrai? Where are you? What was that?"

He glimpsed a blue eye in the woods behind him. **_"Try not to be too obvious when talking to me,_** " Darkrai groused. **_"And for the record— you travelling with her makes me talking to you very problematic."_**

"Maybe you should introduce yourself?"

 ** _"Oh, that would go over well. And furthermore—"_** here Darkrai emerged from the shadows so his pointing claw was obvious. **_"Don't lose your head because of a big pair of pretty blue eyes!"_**

Pikachu started snickering.

"Huh?" Ash noised, lost.

 ** _"Never mind. Now hurry up—before she realizes you're not tagging along and comes back."_**


	5. Viridian City

**Chapter 5, everybody! In which the writer finds the** ** _Moana_** **soundtrack on YouTube and plays "We Know the Way" on infinite loop….And I probably will whenever I get** ** _Sun/Moon_** **too….**

 **Pokeevee57, thanks for the review! Ah, good, I was unexpected. :D Of course! We need the Magikarp to show Gary up (fun fact: I tended to name my Magikarp Gary in years past ^^;). Possibly—we shall see….It was nice—it's one of those series I like to read during the winter while sitting next to a window full of snow (I don't know why). Glad you like! We shall see…and wow, thank you! And same to you. :)**

 **Hunter Redflame, thanks for the review! Wow, thank you, I'm glad you like it! The reason I started this was because I couldn't find a Pokémon fanfiction that really satisfied me, and when I did, they didn't update for months…I'm glad you're liking this so far. :) For the switch from understanding Pokémon to needing Darkrai to translate comes from switching perspectives between Ash and Darkrai—I need to work on that being clearer, I think. And AAAA! Spelling and grammar errors? Where? I'm usually really good about those….Anyway, I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Vismur, thanks for the review! Aw, thank you, I'm glad you think it's cute! :D And thanks for those—I thought it'd be a funny addition (and let me put in some exposition for this version of the Pokémon world without interrupting narrative), so I'm glad you like them and the ride so far! :D Possibly….**

 **Thanks for the reviews, guest! Yes, at least he caught a Magikarp, although I'm not sure what to make of the rest of that comment. Yes, Darkrai is a little jealous…or protective. Yes….Let's see—ribbing is American slang for teasing someone; it started in the 1920s, according to one online dictionary, and referenced jabbing or tickling someone in the ribs….I didn't know** ** _all_** **that, wow...glad it's not Friday….**

 **C.a enchanted sword, thanks for the review! Hopefully this fits the bill! :D**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

 ** _Lackadaisy Cats_ © 2006 Tracy J. Butler (Ash and Darkrai quote a bit from the strip "Lackadaisy Sophistry")**

 ** _Wreck-It Ralph_ © 2012 Disney ("Fix-it Ferroseed")**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_ © 1996 Kazuki Takahashi (although with the jab about children's card games, I should probably be mentioning Abridged here…)**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **The Pokémon League regrets to report that Electric-type powered generators are no longer approved by the Multi-Regional Management. As more and more reports are coming in of overloading generators, the League has been forced to order a recall. In other news, please do not use your Electric-types to power your house in the event of a blackout—the League has been receiving more reports of electrical fires started this way.**

"Hey, wait!"

"What took you so long?" Misty asked, sounding a little irritated. "I made it to the sign before I realized you weren't following me!"

"Sorry," Ash said, figuring that was the best course of action. He adjusted Lenny in his arms before following Misty into Viridian City.

"Wow," he noised upon passing the gate.

Viridian City was the first city Ash had officially clapped eyes on, and while not the biggest city in Kanto, it was still bigger than Pallet Town. While not horrendously tall like the city buildings he had seen on the TV, the average height for Viridian seemed to be five stories, with gray being the primary color.

The mountains surrounding them reminded Ash that while these were tall buildings in his estimation, there were definitely bigger things out there in the world.

"Halt!"

Ash stopped his gawking to see an Officer Jenny standing in front of him and Misty.

"Can I see some identification?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah! Hold on," Ash said, fumbling for his Pokedex again—Professor Oak had said something about it being used for ID. "Here," he said, handing it over.

Misty handed over a card.

"Names and current occupation?" Officer Jenny asked, checking the Pokedex and card.

"Ash Ketchum, uh, beginning trainer?" he guessed. "I just started today."

"Misty Waterflower, Cerulean Gym Leader," Misty said.

Ash was back to gawking. "You're a _gym leader?"_

Ash knew as soon as he said it what Darkrai would say to that: _Open mouth, insert foot._

Understandably, Misty was miffed at his question. "Don't sound so surprised," she said.

"Sorry," Ash said, backpedaling. "It's just—I always thought gym leaders stayed in their gyms."

"I _do_ have a life," Misty pointed out.

"Okay, these check out," Officer Jenny said, handing the card and Pokedex back to them. "Sorry about that, but we've been having a rash of robberies lately, and we can't be too careful."

"No worries," Ash said, taking his Pokedex back. "Hey, where's the Pokémon Center from here?"

"Straight that way," Officer Jenny said, pointing down the street. "You two be careful, all right?"

They waved as she buzzed off on her motorcycle.

"So when can I challenge you for the Cerulean City Gym Badge?" Ash asked.

"When we get to Cerulean City—and don't think having a Pikachu is going to give you an edge," Misty said, walking off primly.

 ** _"That went well,"_** he heard Darkrai hiss.

"Shut it," Ash muttered, trotting after her.

* * *

The Pokémon Center was nice and clean and smelled vaguely like Professor Oak's lab. Ash figured it was the smell of cleaning products.

"Hello, and welcome to the Pokémon Center," the lady behind the counter said. "My name is Nurse Joy; how can I help you today?"

"Can you give my Pokémon a checkup?" Ash asked.

"And can we get a couple of rooms for the night?" Misty added, putting her Pokéballs on the counter.

"Huh?" Ash noised.

"We won't get through Viridian Forest before dark today," Misty explained. "And I am _not_ running around the woods in the rain."

"That'd be wise," Nurse Joy said, accepting a pair of keys from a round pink Pokémon—Ash's Pokedex said it was called Chansey. "You'll want to stop by the Pokemart too, then, and stock up on some Antidotes—there are a lot of Poison-type Pokémon in Viridian Forest. Could you return your Pokémon to their Pokéballs, please?" she asked Ash.

"Um," Ash noised, looking down at Lenny, who looked unbothered by the news. "I could Lenny, but Pikachu doesn't like being in a Pokéball."

"Understandable," Nurse Joy said, accepting Lenny's Pokéball. "Some Pokémon don't like being in enclosed spaces. At least you respect that. Could you come with me please, Pikachu?"

Pikachu slid a glance at Ash, who nodded, before hopping into Nurse Joy's arms. "This shouldn't take too long," Nurse Joy said, putting Pikachu on a gurney along with the Pokéballs. "Your Pokémon look like they're in very good shape. You can check your rooms in the meantime."

"Sure. I'll see you in a bit!" Ash added, waving to Pikachu. "Be nice to Nurse Joy!"

 _"Pikachu!"_ Pikachu shot back.

* * *

"Cool," Ash noised upon entering his room.

It was small—understandable, considering it was only supposed to house a trainer for a brief amount of time. There was a bed, a small dresser, a bathroom, and a window that offered a great view of the brick wall across the alley.

Or it would have, if it had not been occupied.

 ** _"Are you going to let me in?"_** Darkrai asked. **_"Or do you want to see if I shrink in the rain?"_**

Ash deposited his backpack and climbed onto the bed, fumbling with the unfamiliar locks before managing to get the sticky window open.

Darkrai squeezed in. **_"Could they spare it?"_**

"I don't think I'm supposed to be spending a lot of time in here," Ash said, sitting on his pillow to give Darkrai some room to drift about. He fished in his pockets for his old field guide, pulled out his Pokedex instead, and put it on the dresser. "Listen, I'm sorry about Misty—I didn't think—"

 ** _"You do have that habit,"_** Darkrai observed, picking up the Pokedex and tapping it with a black claw. **_"By the way, how is your girlfriend?"_**

"Ew," Ash noised, tugging his backpack over. Ah, there it was. "Misty and I aren't even _friends_ —we're sorta acquaintances. And on the plus side, there's some benefits to traveling with her—she's a gym leader, and she's promised me a match once we get to Cerulean City."

 ** _"Oh yes—and by that time she'll know all your tricks and you'll know none of hers. I thought that was what this was for,"_** Darkrai added, tapping the Pokedex as Ash flipped through the field guide.

"Yeah, but I took notes in this," Ash said, flipping through the pages. "And besides, that thing insulted Lenny when I looked up his information."

 ** _"I'm sorry—'Lenny'?"_**

"He's my new Magikarp."

 ** _"And you named it Lenny."_**

"He seemed to like it," Ash said. "Oh yeah, I forgot—'Pokémon have their own names; they don't need humans muddling things up!'"

 ** _"Oh, so you do listen to me; I was beginning to wonder."_**

"Okay, next up is Viridian Forest," Ash read, laying on his back and propping his feet up on the headboard. "Wow, there's a lot of Poison and Bug types—Nurse Joy wasn't kidding." He flipped ahead to the section about Gyms. "Let's see…Viridian Gym specializes in Ground types, while Pewter City specializes in Rock types." Ash rested the book on his chest and stared at the ceiling. "So….Ground, Water, Grass, and…Fighting types, right?"

" ** _You forgot Ice and Steel types,"_** Darkrai pointed out. " ** _But considering how rare they are outside of mountainous areas, that doesn't surprise me."_**

"I don't think I'll be seeing any Ice types for a while," Ash agreed. "Hey, what moves do Magikarp learn?"

Darkrai tapped on the Pokédex, eyes narrow and ponderous. **_"According to this, Tackle, Flail, and if you're lucky, Bounce."_**

"Bounce?"

 ** _"It's like Fly, except you can't go anywhere with it. Wow, you weren't kidding about the 'dex entry."_**

"So when do Magikarp evolve into Gyarados?"

 ** _"Level Twenty, although this thing doesn't make mention of it. And for the record, Gyarados don't learn that many water moves anyway."_**

"So I need another Pokémon in my party," Ash observed, staring at the ceiling.

 ** _"You need another Pokémon in your party. I wonder if this thing has 'Fix-It Ferroseed' on it."_**

Ash watched as the first drops of rain devolved into sheets pouring down. "I guess Misty's right about running around in the woods in the rain."

 ** _"Although you could use the shower."_**

"That reminds me—I told Mom I'd call her once I got to Viridian City," Ash said, sitting up. "And I ought to call Professor Oak, too—and see if the Pokémon Center has any umbrellas I could borrow. I don't want today to be a _total_ waste."

 ** _"I can already guess what the one conversation is going to sound like: 'make sure you take a bath as often as you can! And don't forget to wear clean underwear!'"_** Darkrai said, in the shrill voice he adopted when imitating somebody.

Ash nabbed the first non-lethal thing he could find—his pillow—and threw it at Darkrai. Darkrai caught it with ease. ** _"Oh goody, I was hoping for one of these."_**

"I'm going to need that tonight," Ash pointed out.

 ** _"Tough."_**

Ash flopped back on his back in irritation, glancing out the window so he didn't have to look at Darkrai. He was going to have to shut the window soon….

 ** _"Are you sulking now, or did you space out?"_** Darkrai asked.

"I'm finally doing it," Ash said, the events of that morning finally sinking in. "I've finally started on my journey." He sat up. "I'm going to be a Pokémon master, and finally show Gary up."

 ** _"Good to see that finally sunk in. Oh by the way, good luck with that last bit."_**

"I could beat Gary."

 ** _"Please, you couldn't even hit him."_**

"I mean in a Pokémon battle!"

 ** _"What is it with humans and solving their problems through having someone else fight?"_** Darkrai asked, claws in the air. **_"It's about as inane as solving their problems through card games!"_**

"That's a thing people do?"

 ** _"It's catching on."_**

Ash jumped off the bed. "Well, not that this hasn't been fun, but I'm off to make some calls and pick the guys up."

 ** _"Because your attempt at picking Misty up went over so well."_**

 _"Shut up!"_


	6. Of Gym Leaders and Giant Machines

**Chapter 6, everybody! In which Team Rocket makes their first appearance and Darkrai references** ** _The Dean Martin Variety Show_** **—to explain it, one of Dean Martin's nicknames was "Dino Martini," due to the drinks he nursed during the show (it was actually apple juice, for those who wonder). Dino = Deino.**

 **Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! Iron Tail is the obvious choice, yes—oh, I forgot about the surfing Pikachu! (the new Raichu surfs** ** _how_** **did I forget that…). This is true—rewatching the episode, I love how Brock's father, who ran the gym before, told Ash that giving Pikachu more electricity would work (then again, maybe he didn't want his son to lose). No—I can already tell you how** ** _that_** **conversation would go: "Rock types completely no-sell Electric types—what's** ** _wrong_** **with you?" I know—it's one of those thing where humans in the Pokémon world are** ** _really_** **resilient, or maybe there's some unspoken Pokémon rule where they're not allowed to kill humans. Either way, Ash should be an extra-concentrated ghost by now, honestly….**

 **Hunter Redflame, thanks for the review! Fun fact: several of these chapters were originally broken up into shorter chapters; I put them together when I started checking the word count and realized they were coming up mighty short (which may be why the scene changes might translate as a little jarring—I'll work on that). I'll try to keep that in mind. Thank you, I'll keep polishing. And don't worry—I made it a point to state right away that I will** ** _not_** **be putting Ash in any romantic relationships, as he's probably not even remotely interested in girls at this point. Darkrai's just going to take the opportunity to tease him about it whenever he can, just to get a reaction.**

 **Pokeevee57, thanks for the review! Ah, me too…although I'm not getting Sun/Moon until Christmas, I don't think. Thank you, I hope to continue to please!**

 **Aegorm, thanks for the review! Thank you, I'm glad you like it! Ash does need someone who knows what he's doing around….**

 **Bayesianheishi, thanks for the review! And thank you, I'm glad you like it! And glad you find it unique—I've noticed that, and I kind of wanted to do my own take on what's been done before and add to the Darkrai thread (we need more Darkrai). Glad you saw fit to make an exception, and I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Vismur, thanks for the review! Darkrai wanted me to pass this on: "** ** _Never…."_** **Yes, it's nice to see Ash listening to something approaching reason—and that feeling may be entirely justified. As is that one. Good question—definitely a few not usually used, I hope. Keep an eye on that 'karp….**

 **Deant33, thanks for the review! Thank you, glad you think so—I love writing for Darkrai. :D It will—hopefully it works….**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

 **Dean Martin belongs to himself**

 **Twinkies belong to Hostess**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **Regional Professors from all over are pleased to announce a new miniseries on the Pokémon Planet Network: "Fantastic Pokémon and Where to Find Them." This miniseries dramatizes the youthful ventures of such famous Pokémon professors such as Professor Oak and Professor Elm as they travel about, documenting the strange and fantastic Pokémon they encounter and striving to remove the perpetuating misconceptions of such fantastic beasts. Tune in this Wednesday at nine PM Kanto Central Time for the first episode of this dramatic documentary.**

Ash picked up his Pokémon before sitting in the phone booth and making his calls. His conversation with his mother went precisely as Darkrai had predicted, albeit with some added cooing over how cute Lenny was. The Magikarp was distinctly happier after the call.

Next up was Professor Oak.

" _Oh, Ash, hi!"_ Professor Oak said, appearing on the video phone and looking and sounding pleasantly surprised. _"I honestly wasn't expecting you to reach Viridian City this quickly—how are things going?"_

"Pretty good," Ash said. "Pikachu and I are getting along much better now, right Pikachu?"

"Chu," Pikachu said from his perch on Ash's head. Ash could see Pikachu's reflection in the video screen—he was making a waffling motion with one of his paws.

 _"Anything is an improvement from earlier,"_ Professor Oak said. _"Oh, hey—Gary called earlier on his way to Pewter City—"_

"Gary's already heading for Pewter City?" Ash asked, wincing as he heard thunder. "In _this_ weather?"

 _"You know how it is—he gets an idea in his head and you can't do a thing with him. Kind of like you, actually. Anyway, he made a bet with me that you wouldn't catch any Pokémon before you got to Viridian City. I bet him a hundred Poke he was wrong!"_

"You'd win that bet," Ash said, grinning. He held up Lenny. "Say hello to Lenny!"

 _"You were that hung up on getting a Magikarp."_

"He'll get better—all he needs is a little training. And better yet, I'm travelling with a gym leader for a while—"

 _"Oh really? Which one?"_

"The Cerulean City gym leader—her name's Misty."

 _"She'd be a good one to learn from,"_ Professor Oak mused. _"I haven't heard much positive news about the Cerulean City gym leaders, but Misty's showing potential. Just be careful—I hear she has a temper. Oop—my pizza's here. Got to go!"_

And with that, Professor Oak was gone.

"I didn't think she had a temper, did you?" Ash asked his Pokémon.

"Pika pi," Pikachu said, shrugging.

"Karp," Lenny agreed.

Another boom of thunder, practically on top of their heads, and then the power cut out. "Oh…kay…that's probably not a good thing," Ash decided.

Lenny seemed to accuse Pikachu of something, which Pikachu vehemently denied. Attracting the storm, maybe?

"Does anyone have an electric Pokémon?" Nurse Joy asked, bringing a flashlight to the counter. "Our backup generator has run dry."

"What do you think, Pikachu?" Ash asked. "You up for it?"

" _Pika!"_ Pikachu declared, flexing.

* * *

It took until the afternoon before the rain let up enough to go out. Once it did, Ash and Misty borrowed some umbrellas and followed Nurse Joy's directions to the Pokémart.

"Are you ever going to put Lenny in his Pokéball?" Misty asked.

"Maybe," Ash said. "But the rain's good for him, right?"

"Karp," Lenny agreed.

Misty made a face that Ash usually associated with Darkrai: mildly amused at his stupidity, is what Darkrai called it. At least he was mildly amusing.

"I just have to figure out how to train him if all he knows is Splash," Ash mused.

"You know, Pokémon gain experience just by participating in a battle," Misty said. "You can throw him out first thing and then switch over to Pikachu right away."

"That'd work—hey, since you said you wouldn't battle me until Cerulean, d'you think we could travel together until then?"

"What, so I can help a rookie trainer?" Misty asked.

"Lenny wanted you to come."

" _Lenny_ did?"

"Karp!" Lenny said happily, flapping his fish tail.

"I suppose I can't argue with _that_ ," Misty sighed.

* * *

Darkrai, meanwhile, had finished his examination of Ash's Pokedex.

He was not impressed.

After that, he rooted through Ash's backpack. Figured the kid didn't bring his Gameboy. Or Twinkies—he would have thought he'd have at least brought _that_. At least the kid had enough common sense to lock the door behind him on his way out—nothing worse than housekeeping barging in on you when you were rooting through someone else's stuff.

Well, this was going nowhere.

Darkrai squeezed back out the window and pulled it halfway shut behind him. He wasn't a fan of wet, but it had slowed down to an annoying drizzle—and it sure beat the Cottonee out of sitting in a room bored out of his skull.

 _Boom._

 ** _"I thought it stopped that earlier,"_** Darkrai noised—wait. That came from much closer.

Darkrai came around to the front of the Pokémon Center. Wow, what a hole. He drifted near it just in time to hear the last of what sounded like a well-rehearsed motto.

"Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light!"

"Surrender now or prepare to fight fight fight!"

" _Meowth!_ That's right!"

Oh…kay….That was going on his list of oddest things he had ever heard. And this—this in front of him was definitely up there with Mr. Mime and the Old Chateau of Sinnoh as far as oddest things he had ever seen—two humans, striking a pose on some sort of machine, with a Meowth standing between them and striking a pose as well. What was this, amateur hour on the _Deino Martini Variety Show_?

"What are you doing?" the nurse demanded. "What do you want?"

Oh goody, he wasn't the only one who thought this was far out to left field.

"We want all the Pokémon, that's what!" the Meowth declared.

They don't speak Pokémon, you idiot—wait, they wanted _what?_

"You might get a lot of twerp trainers here," the male of the pair announced.

"But you also get a lot of trainers with strong Pokémon heading for the Indigo Plateau!" the female of the pair finished.

"So we'll take them all and sort out the wheat from the chaff!"

Okay, he had heard enough. These people were driving him insane.

A tidily aimed Dark Pulse followed up with Ominous Wind shot the trio out of town while still giving him enough cover to dart away before anyone saw him. Ah, humans—more often than not, they didn't employ the sense they were born with.

* * *

"I can't believe you didn't know about Giovanni."

"It doesn't make _sense_ ," Ash countered. Lenny was finally in his Pokéball, as Ash had to carry both an umbrella and a bag of items he had bought from the Pokémart. "Why would he have a gym in the city right next to Pallet Town and yet only accept trainers who have seven badges?"

"Because of over there, silly," Misty said, pointing off to the west, where mountains loomed. "The Indigo Plateau—where the Elite Four and the Pokémon League are. Viridian City completes a circuit around Kanto and leads into Route 22—Giovanni's gym policy makes sense to me."

Ash wasn't entirely sure, but at least it took one problem off his table for the time being. "So I guess right now I have to worry about the Pewter City Gym leader."

"Brock," Misty supplied. "And how are you going to challenge him with a Magikarp and a Pikachu?"

"I'll figure something out." _With the help of Darkrai,_ he silently added. "And I plan on catching another Pokémon before challenging the gym—there are fighting types around Pewter City, right?"

"I think—wow."

"Wow," Ash agreed. "What happened?"

Officer Jenny was taking a statement from Nurse Joy, in front of a big hole where the front of the Pokémon Center used to be.

"Oh—pardon our mess," Nurse Joy said, recognizing them. "Some people calling themselves Team Rocket tore through the front and tried to steal all the Pokémon."

"'Team Rocket'?" Ash asked, eyebrows going up.

"'Tried'?" Misty echoed.

"Why is it that you two come into town and then suddenly something goes sideways?" Officer Jenny asked, pointing her pen at them.

"Bad luck, worse timing?" Ash guessed, employing another Darkrai special.

"We have an alibi," Misty pointed out, holding up her Pokémart bag.

"Whoever they were, they didn't stay long," Nurse Joy pointed out. "And they'd be worse for wear by now—they were hit by some powerful Pokémon attacks."

"What kind?" Misty asked.

"A sort of black orb and some purple wind—I've never seen moves like them, to be honest."

Ash had—from the sound of it, that was Darkrai's Dark Pulse and Ominous Wind. Good to see he was keeping himself entertained.

"And you're _sure_ you didn't come to any harm during the event?" Officer Jenny asked.

"Is this because of the talking Meowth?" Nurse Joy asked, affronted.

"It _does_ strain credibility."

"Wait, a talking Meowth?" Misty asked. "Like it says more than _Meowth_ sort of talks?"

"Yes, just like that," Nurse Joy said, nodding.

"On the plus side, they'd be easy to spot," Ash pointed out. "Not many people have a talking Pokémon." He did, sort of, but Darkrai wasn't his, so he didn't exactly count. He made a mental note to ask him about talking Meowth the next time he saw him.

"Well, wherever they are, they're wanted fugitives now," Officer Jenny declared, snapping her notebook shut with an air of finality.

* * *

In the forests of Route One, Team Rocket crashed to the ground after a few painful minutes of falling through very unforgiving branches.

" _Meowch!_ What gives?" Meowth asked, rubbing his injured parts—which was all but his ears, he felt.

Jessie sat up, combing leaves and twigs out of her long pink hair. "Whose idea was that, anyway?" she asked.

"Mine," James said, lying where he had fallen. Meowth had the feeling he wasn't in any hurry to get up—rather, the purple-haired young man was puzzling out where his carefully-laid plan had gone awry.

To be honest, Meowth was of the opinion that James' plan had had a lot of holes to begin with. It had depended on catching everyone in the room at one time, while their Pokémon were all in their Pokéballs. It had been risky at best.

That didn't bother Meowth so much—the potential payoff was worth the risk.

What did bother him was the fact that the attacks that had sent them blasting off were attacks that he had never seen nor heard of before.

 _Okay, think Meowth,_ he said to himself, watching his cohorts argue. _Trainers come from all over to challenge the Indigo League—what kind of moves were those?_

One had the sort of musty smell Ghost moves had, that was for certain. But the other wasn't like anything he had ever seen or felt or smelt before. Something was off.

He started as he spotted a Spearow peeking around a tree at them. Uh-oh—not good.

"Hey, guys, cool it!" Meowth hissed, waving a paw at Jessie and James while keeping a wary eye on the fierce-faced bird. "There's Spearow around! Ya don't want to rile them up!"

Jessie and James took it down a few decibels, spotting the singular one and glancing around for the rest of the Spearow flock. Funny—now that he looked around, there weren't any other Spearow to be seen.

He hopped up on his hind legs, claws at the ready. "Oright, you," he said to the Spearow. "I know how Spearow work—yer keeping us distracted while yer flock readies an ambush, right?"

 _"No,"_ the Spearow said. " _I'm checking to see if it was the black Pokémon again."_

"Black Pokémon?" Meowth echoed. Jessie and James quieted down, noting his tone. "What, a shiny?"

 _"No,"_ the Spearow said. _"I don't know what it was, but it was big and black with white hair and it scared every last 'mon clear off of Route One."_

That didn't describe any Pokémon that Meowth was familiar with, and he was fairly certain he knew about most of the Pokémon in and around Kanto. "Explain it to me."

 _"Big and black and scary."_

"No, I mean what'd it look like? Give me details."

The Spearow began scratching in the dirt, prompting Meowth to come over and look at the design. Spearow art wasn't that good to begin with, but he could just make out something wispy with big claws.

"I've never seen a Pokémon like that before," Jessie said, alerting Meowth to the fact that she and James were looking over his shoulders.

"Neither have I," Meowth said, turning to them. "From the sounds of it, it's a rare Pokémon from outside of Kanto—you see a lot of odd Pokémon, being this close to Route 22, right?" he added to the Spearow.

 _"Yes,"_ it said. _"Who are you people, anyway?"_

"We're Team Rocket!" Meowth declared proudly, hands on his hips and chest puffed out. "We're dedicated to capturing rare and exotic Pokémon! Like this thing you described to us here!"

"If it's not Kantoan, that means it being here is really rare!" Jessie mused.

"And if we catch it, the boss will be so pleased!" James added.

"And it's powerful—"

"And it uses rare moves—"

"The boss will promote us for sure!"

 _"You mean you're going to capture this thing?"_ the Spearow asked.

"Sure are!" Meowth said—careful, he chided himself—the Spearow might get mad, and then—

The Spearow was anything _but_ mad.

 _"My heroes!"_ it declared happily. _"Listen, let me go tell everyone—we'll tell you all about it. Route One will praise the name of Team Rocket!"_ it added, ecstatic as it flew off.

"Wow," Meowth noised. "That was unexpected."

"What?" James asked.

"That Spearow said we were heroes for going after this thing!"

"It's about time Team Rocket got some appreciation," Jessie said, crossing her arms and nodding.

"Okay, planning time!" James declared, grabbing a stick and sitting cross-legged. "We've already established that this thing is powerful enough to take out a machine designed to withstand League-level Pokémon—Meowth, what moves were those?"

"One was definitely a Ghost type," Meowth said. "The other one, I don't know."

"But you're the Pokémon expert!" Jessie pointed out.

"For Kanto Pokémon—we've established this thing is foreign."

 _"Excuse me,"_ something said, prompting Meowth to turn—it was another Spearow peeking around a tree, exhibiting that same uncharacteristic timidness the other had. " _Are you the Team Rocket guys Lily said was going to get rid of that black thing?"_

"Sure are!" Meowth said.

" _Oh good,_ " the Spearow said, walking out into the open. It was followed by a couple of Rattata and a Pidgey.

"You handle that while we work on a plan," James said, already knee-deep in a new design.

"We need a 360-degree view," Jessie said, pointing at one of James' scribbles.

As more and more Pokémon came forward, some even expressing a desire to join such a team that was so selfless as to tackle this monster, Meowth couldn't help but be cheered.

This was actually turning out to be a pretty good day for Team Rocket.


	7. Viridian Forest

**Chapter 7, everybody! In which we make it through Viridian Forest and learn that despite type disadvantages, Darkrai doesn't take smack talk from Beedrill.** ** _Sotto voce_** **, by the way, is Latin, and is used to describe talking quietly. How does Ash know this? Because he hangs out with a Legendary that's much older than he is….**

 **Pokeevee57, thanks for the review! Yes, not a problem for Darkrai. :D Most likely—and most likely. Thank you, I hope to continue to astound! :D**

 **Hunter Redflame, thanks for the review! No surprise there. Ah, I enjoy reading stories where Team Rocket is an actual force to be reckoned with. Granted, it** ** _is_** **Jessie, James, and Meowth, but still. Thank you, glad you liked it—and thank you, I hope to continue to please!**

 **Vismur, thanks for the review! Not a clue. I agree, madnesss** ** _does_** **seem to be in Ash's DNA—hopefully being around Darkrai has fixed at least** ** _some_** **of the foolhardiness, though (and I think FanFiction ate up some of your review there). Well, they** ** _were_** **regularly tortured by him, come to think of it….**

 **Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! This is true, but conductors do too (which will be brought up at a later date…). Um…to be honest, in rewatching some of the first season, I don't think** ** _any_** **thinking was really employed by anyone. This is true—and considering the Pokémon world has Pokémon, it makes sense that humans would have subtly different physiology. Ah, they pulled an Ash….**

 **Kazikamikaze24, thanks for the review! Thank you, I'm glad you like it, and I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **The Pokémon League would like to remind travelling trainers to not randomly jump out at strangers. Pokémon Center nurses report that seventy-three percent of trainer injuries that come in are a result of badly startled Pokémon trainers and Pokémon who react in self-defense. The remaining twenty-seven is reported to come from "run of the mill trainer stupidity."**

The next day was sunny and muggy as they made their way through Viridian Forest.

"I find it funny," Misty said, gingerly picking her way along the muddy path. "That you say you want to catch another Pokémon, yet all the ones you've seen so far you haven't tried to catch."

That was because each and every one Ash had encountered so far had other duties—or at least, that was the impression he had gotten when the Pokémon snubbed his asking them if they wanted to go on a journey.

Now, however, with Darkrai lurking in the forest, most of the timid Pokémon were in hiding. A swarm of Beedrill had attacked, angry at the intrusion, but Pikachu had struck them down with a series of Thunder Shocks, and capturing them fainted just seemed like bad form. Pikachu was now sitting pretty at Level 15, according to the Pokedex (Ash wondered how it determined levels), but that didn't mean much against Brock's Rock types.

However, after a lengthy discussion with Darkrai last night, the team had hit upon a plan—teach Pikachu Iron Tail.

Even with the move's type advantage, the plan was still risky—despite Pikachu's natural speed, his type weakness meant one hit would wipe him out—two, if they were lucky.

"We haven't seen any Pokémon in a while," Ash observed, stepping closer to the scrub next to the trail; he had seen a flash of blue there.

Called it right. " ** _You say that like it's my fault,"_** Darkrai hissed.

It _was_ Darkrai's fault, but Ash couldn't call him on it without getting into trouble—randomly chatting up bushes was the fastest way to get into trouble.

"That doesn't bother me too much," Misty said. "At least we're not running into any more _bugs._ "

As it turned out, Misty was terrified of Bug Pokémon, something that Darkrai was delighting in using against her. He'd come in behind, spook her with a choice noise and movement, then dart away before Misty could spin around. It had been funny the first few times, but it had happened enough that Ash wasn't even reacting to it now; he had bigger things to worry about.

Ash was carrying Lenny again, but there was a way to go before he would evolve. Even at that, Darkrai had explained that Gyarados had a disadvantage due to its Flying type. But Pidgey, Caterpie, and Weedle weren't about to cut it either—not when a well-aimed Rock Throw could squash them flat.

Pokémon training was harder than he thought.

Lenny was still at a pretty paltry level, but he was getting there—he was Level 5 now, at least, but it would take a while before he strengthened up enough to learn Tackle.

"Ash, hold up before you go and get yourself lost."

Ash blinked, realized he'd been lost in thought, and looked behind him to see Misty looking around with a frown on her face.

"That was a bad rain yesterday," she said. "Give me a minute—I've got to find the path again."

"I'll poke around for Pokémon while you do," Ash said, edging to the bushes.

"Don't go too far!"

"Right, right." He pulled a branch back, looking. "Darkrai, I could use some help here," he hissed.

 ** _"I could knock her out, if you want,"_** Darkrai replied, sotto voce.

"I meant some help finding our way out of these woods."

 ** _"Do I look like a road map?"_**

"Please?"

 ** _"Fine, fine…."_**

Ash heard something like a strong breeze and knew it was probably Darkrai shooting away.

 _Maybe I can get some peace and quiet now,_ Ash thought. Again, Darkrai having fun at Misty's expense had been funny the first few times, but the both of them had started to wear his nerves thin.

Maybe it _was_ a good thing Misty didn't know about Darkrai….

He pulled aside a branch and saw a strange crest on something short and brown. "Wow," he noised. "What kind of Pokémon is that?"

Something sharp and silver pointed at his face alerted him to his error.

"Are you a trainer from Pallet Town?" the short brown thing asked.

"Ulk," Ash responded.

"Is that an answer?"

"Is that a real sword?"

"A real man wouldn't balk."

"Yeah, but I like my nose where it is."

"Ash, who are you talking—oh," Misty said, coming over. Then, more forcefully: "Hey, you—didn't your mother ever tell you not to point sharp objects at people?"

"My apologies," the short brown thing said, pulling the sword away from Ash's face. Ash allowed himself a small sigh of relief. "I am the Samurai of Viridian Forest—it is my goal to challenge each and every trainer hailing from Pallet Town that passes through here."

"I'm from Pallet Town," Ash said, rubbing his nose.

"Then why didn't you say so?"

"I had a sword pointed at my face."

"No matter—I challenge you to a battle!"

Hey, that was good—trainer battles gave Pokémon more experience than wild battles did. Somehow. "All right then!" Ash declared. "I accept! Go, Lenny!"

He set the Magikarp down, where Lenny assumed a fierce glare—until he fell over.

"A sad showing," the Samurai observed. "Go, Pinsir!"

Another short brown thing with curving horns appeared. It suddenly became evident to Ash what the Samurai had patterned his outfit off of.

"Vice Grip, now!" the Samurai commanded.

"Lenny, return!" Ash said, sending Lenny back into his Pokéball in a beam of red light. "Go, Pikachu!"

"Poor form!" the Samurai said, as Pikachu leaped off of Ash's shoulder and into the fray. "Pinsir! Focus Energy followed up by Seismic Toss!"

"Pikachu! Quick Attack followed up by Thunder Shock!"

The Pokémon dashed to follow orders, but Pikachu was the quicker of the two—the minute he connected with Pinsir, he let loose a devastating electric shock.

Pinsir fainted.

"Pinsir, return!" the Samurai commanded, returning it to its Pokéball. "Go, Metapod!"

A green cocoon sort of Pokémon took its place.

"All right, Lenny, let's try it again!" Ash said, tossing Lenny's Pokéball into the air. Lenny appeared on the field.

"That pathetic thing again?" the Samurai scoffed.

Lenny puffed up angrily before flopping over to where Metapod sat. With an indignant cry of _"Magikarp!"_ Lenny flopped onto the Metapod.

"Um," Ash noised. "Pikachu, you think you ought to help him?"

"Pika," Pikachu said, shrugging.

* * *

Darkrai had returned to find the kid in the middle of a battle—interesting. He wondered if he had enough time to get some popped-Cornn.

Of course, with the way the Magikarp-versus-Metapod part of this was going, he wondered if he shouldn't get a pillow instead.

 _"There he is!"_

Darkrai looked to see some very indignant Beedrill swarming. One was pointing through the screen of leaves to Ash.

 _"That's the trainer with the Pikachu that roughed us up earlier!"_ the lead Beedrill continued. _"Let's go teach that kid a lesson!"_

Darkrai moved so he was behind them.

 ** _"You've got bigger problems to deal with,"_** he announced.

* * *

Several minutes later, Ash, Misty, and the Samurai were running out of Viridian Forest as fast as they could, gripping their Pokémon as they struggled to outrun a swarm of hysterical Beedrill.

In retrospect, Darkrai realized he could have handled that better.


	8. Patches

**Chapter 8, everybody! In which Ash finally captures a third Pokémon….**

 **Pokeevee57, thanks for the review! Aha, yes, but then she might get suspicious. This is true. That—I don't know. I think I remember him just being called Samurai of the Viridian Forest in the anime, but don't quote me. Good question—Splash versus Harden, a battle that's slightly more stimulating that Harden versus Harden. :D Um, more like he was spooking them and spooked them the wrong way, towards Ash and the others. That's true though….Thanks! I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Deant33, thanks for the review! Yes he is, but don't tell him too many times—it'd go straight to his head. ;)**

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! True and true—and don't worry, he will. And there might be something approaching a backbone, too. Right this chapter, actually….**

 **AgitatedDog9288, thanks for the review! Oh wow, thank you—I hope to continue to please! Me too….**

 **Dragonkeeper10, thanks for the review! Eh, this is true….**

 **Aegorm, thanks for the review! Well, I'm trying to make it so that the Level System is how humans gauge things, and is therefore only present when the Pokedex is checked, but obviously I didn't make that organic enough—I'll work on that. Thanks for the critique!**

 **Hunter Redflame, thanks for the review! Thank you, I'm glad it worked, and I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Vismur, thanks for the review! It does me too (but what can you do? *shrug*). Yes, Ash has that unique power, the power of the main character….Heheh, thank you, I'm glad you liked it! I love Lenny's personality, such a fun fish to write for. :D Because someday, that little fish is going to be a** ** _big_** **sea serpent….Thank you! I hope to continue to please!**

 **Beautiful-Liar13, thanks for the review! Yes, that will be interesting, to say the least….**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **The Pokémon League would like to remind all Pokémon owners that petting their Poison types is an extremely dangerous undertaking. Eighty-three percent of trainer poisonings reported to Pokémon Centers comes from petting a Poison type without protective gloves. The remaining seventeen percent comes from food poisoning, eating unidentified mushrooms, random Poison type encounters, failure to check shoes before putting them on, and failing to examine the area before sitting down. The Pokémon League reminds you to lift the lid and check before being seated.**

After spending an evening getting familiar with Pewter City's layout and a night resting up at the Pokémon Center, Ash was ready for a solid day of training.

"I'm going to check out the museum while you do that," Misty said, waving. "Hey, where will you be? I'll bring lunch over."

"I'm going to check out Route Three," Ash said, pointing. "There's stronger Pokémon that way, so it'll be a good place to train."

Plus, it was relatively isolated.

* * *

Route Three was most definitely isolated once Ash arrived, and it didn't take very long to divine the reason why.

"Hey, Darkrai," Ash said, waving at the pitch-black Pokémon. "Here we are, ready for some serious training!"

 ** _"What, did you want some fanfare?"_** Darkrai asked, irritated.

"Aw, come on, don't be that way," Ash chided, as Pikachu leapt off of his shoulder and onto a nearby rock. "You said you'd help teach Pikachu Iron Tail, and he's been practicing like you asked. And besides, I _still_ haven't caught a third Pokémon, thank you very much."

 ** _"You don't want one that frightens easily anyway,"_** Darkrai said, waving him off. **_"Come on, then—we may as well get started."_**

* * *

Misty worked her way up the inclining slope of Route Three, lunch bags in hand. The museum had been interesting, even if there _was_ a guy outside trying to sell rocks.

"All right! That's the way!"

And that would be Ash, right on cue. Did the kid even _have_ an indoor voice?

Granted, it was nice to hear him sounding so happy—he would go for long stretches without talking, which kind of bothered her. If she didn't know any better, she'd have thought he was listening to someone else.

But that was silly, right?

She crested the hill in time to see Ash looking around, kind of confused. "Hey!" she called, waving. "What's the matter? Lose a Pokémon?"

"Sort of," Ash said, grinning at the sight of the bags in her hand. "Sweet! Lunch!"

During the meal, Misty cemented the opinion that she had generated when they had eaten at the Pokémon Center the last couple of times: Ash had absolutely no table manners.

"So how are things going?" she asked, after finishing her sandwich.

"Pretty good," Ash replied, picking crumbs that had somehow survived and were now latched to his shirt. "Pikachu learned a new move—want to see?"

"Sure," Misty said, trying to think of what was next on Pikachu's move list. Electro Ball, maybe?

"Okay, ready Pikachu?" Ash asked, hopping up; Pikachu swallowed his bite of apple and dashed to attention as Lenny directed his attention to the abandoned apple. "Use Iron Tail on that rock over there!"

Iron Tail?

Pikachu dashed forward, tail glowing a bright white, and jumped into the air, performing a flip so his tail struck the boulder.

The boulder split in two from the impact.

"Wow," Misty noised, as Pikachu struck a victory pose. "That's not a very common move—how did you teach it to Pikachu?"

"I have a friend who told me about it," Ash said off-handedly.

That friend again. "Can you tell me about your friend?"

She figured Professor Oak or one of his aides, to know enough about Pokémon to know about rare or unusual moves. She wasn't banking on Ash looking like he had been struck by one of Pikachu's Thunderbolts.

"Uh…big, dark, and grumpy," Ash said finally. "He's not very sociable."

Misty frowned a bit at that description, but her next comment was cut off by rustling nearby.

They looked to see a male Nidoran edging out of a nearby bush and sniffing at an unopened bag of chips.

"Hey, awesome!" Ash said, pointing his Pokedex at the purple Pokémon.

 _"Pika pi!"_ Pikachu exclaimed.

"What?"

In response, Pikachu pantomimed kicking.

"Ash, check Nidoran's move list," Misty suggested quietly, not wanting to startle the first honest to goodness wild Pokémon they had seen in a while. The dearth had been unnerving, to say the least.

A few clicks, and then Ash looked up.

"Nidoran learn Double Kick—it's a Fighting type move."

"Poison types are weak against Ground," Misty pointed out.

"It's still an improvement. Hi," Ash said to the Nidoran, crouching in front of it. "Do you want me to get that for you?"

He ripped open the bag and handed a chip to the Nidoran. The Nidoran sniffed it gingerly before taking it from him.

"That's a start," Misty posed, easing away a bit. If there was going to be a Pokémon battle, she didn't want to be at the epicenter, especially with the potential for poisonous needles flying around.

Ash didn't seem to hear her. "My name's Ash Ketchum, and I'm a Pokémon trainer," he said to the Nidoran as he fed him more chips. "My friends and I are going to be travelling all over the Region battling gyms and getting stronger—do you want to come? We'll have chips."

The Nidoran's ears twitched and it looked off somewhere. Misty guessed it was getting ready to flee.

Pikachu hopped forward and began talking earnestly, gesturing a lot for good measure. Misty didn't understand Pokémon speak, no matter how much she wished to, but she could tell Pikachu was brooking an argument for Ash's case. Or maybe saying that it was safer with a trainer than out in the wild, as he seemed to be pantomiming something big and scary.

The Nidoran looked thoughtful, ears twitching, then looked at Ash and nodded.

"Great!" Ash declared, fishing a Pokéball out. "Let's get started!"

And with that, Nidoran was captured.

"Congratulations!" Misty declared, settling back on her rock. "You've finally captured a third Pokémon."

"Excellent," Ash said, letting Nidoran back out. "We can finish up the bag of chips before we start training. Do you want a nickname?"

The Nidoran looked ponderous.

"How about Chip?" Ash suggested.

"Ash, don't be silly," Misty chided as Nidoran shook his head.

"It was worth a shot," Ash said, offering Nidoran another chip. "Hey, Misty, look at this."

Misty came around behind him to see what he was looking at: the Nidoran's darker purple spots were sprinkled all over his body, including a large spot around his eye.

"Huh," she said. "It looks like he's wearing an eyepatch."

"Yeah—hey, how about Patches? For the nickname," Ash clarified.

The Nidoran perked up before nodding.

"Great!" Ash said, upending the bag to loosen the last of the crumbs. "Well, then, Patches, how about we do some training? You need to be able to use Double Kick before we challenge the gym."

As they started, Misty couldn't help but look to where Patches had looked to earlier. If she squinted just right, one of the shadows of the boulders formed an odd shape. An odd, frightening shape.

 _Don't be silly, Misty_ , she chided herself, shaking her head.

But still, the hair on the back of her neck prickled.


	9. The New Teammate

**Chapter 9, everybody! And since it's the holiday season, have an extra-long chapter on me! Mostly because there wasn't anyplace nice and organic to stop….And before midnight, too….**

 **Harmonious Wolf, thanks for the review! Yes—"I'm travelling with a kid who talks to thin air. Not weird at all." Definitely fun to write though, and hopefully fun to read. ;)**

 **Pokeevee57, thanks for the review! Yep—Darkrai's helping Ash find Pokémon that don't back down easily. :D Thank you! Always been fond of Nidoran…although if we consider the fanfic** ** _Traveler_** **, there** ** _is_** **some precedence for Ash having a Nidoran and kicking tail with it. ;)**

 **RavenHairedSpectrobeMaster, thanks for the review! Thank you, I'm glad you like it! Glad you're enjoying things thus far, and thank you for the follow and favorite! :D**

 **Gryphonsson, thanks for the reviews! I'm glad you're liking things so far, and I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Anonymous Person, thanks for the review! I don't know—I had to look up the word to refresh my memory on what it means, but…honestly, yes, Darkrai gives me that impression too. Me too—I mean, spooky shadowy Pokémon who shares the same color scheme as the Shadow? Very awesome. :D**

 **Vismur, thanks for the review! Yes, that sounds like Ash-reasoning….Oh man, I remember my first encounter with Poison-types in-game—major panic after the battle when I started walking around and then *gzzt*! But Nidoran can definitely kick tail—had one in my** ** _Fire Red_** **run, and he was my go-to guy when I wanted to beat someone; combine Poison Point with heavy-duty attacks like Double Kick and** ** _watch out!_** **:D Yes, she's picking up bad vibrations….Thank you! I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

 **Scooby-Doo © Hanna-Barbera**

 ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **From the literary world comes this announcement: _Lackadaisy 'Mons, Volume 2_ is now out in stores. Bookstores request that those with reserved copies hasten to pick them up, as there is expected to be a large demand of this historically-minded, entertaining series.**

Ash's first impression of the Pewter Gym was that it was pretty rocky—which, he supposed, was appropriate, considering the theme of the gym.

His second impression was that Brock looked pretty no-nonsense, standing across the field with his arms crossed.

"Welcome, challenger," Brock called, sounding like he was trying very hard to sound formal and older than he really was. "I commend you for challenging my gym, and…and please tell me those aren't your Pokémon."

Ash blinked at how that last bit sounded—probably like how Brock really talked—before looking at Patches, Pikachu, and Lenny, the former two at his heels and the latter under his arm.

"Yeah," Ash called. "Why?"

"They're not your _only_ Pokémon, I hope."

"Yeah, why?"

"Oh, this is going to be painful to watch," Brock muttered, rubbing his forehead. "All right then, it's your funeral."

Ash sincerely hoped not.

* * *

"So tell us about what you saw."

 _"Something big and black,"_ the head Beedrill said. _"With this wisp of white hair and blue eyes."_

 _"And a red collar,"_ another Beedrill added.

 _"And big claws,"_ yet another added.

 _"And it flew!"_ yet another added.

Meowth summarized what the Beedrill had said, prompting Jessie to show the sketch they had made. "Like this?" she asked.

 _"Yes! Like that!"_ the head Beedrill said.

 _"This wasn't pointy on the bottom,"_ one Beedrill said, pointing.

 _"And the chest was bigger,"_ another one added.

 _"But that's pretty much what it looked like."_

"When did it pass through here?" James asked, once Meowth had finished translating.

 _"About a day ago. Why?"_

"Did it scare the rest of the Viridian Forest Pokémon away?" Meowth asked.

 _"Yes—why?"_

"Because this same thing was on Route One a couple of days ago. We're tracking it so we can catch it."

That declaration elicited the same approval as the Spearow had given a couple of days earlier. Whatever this thing was, it wasn't endearing itself to anybody.

 _"Team Rocket, is it?"_ one Beedrill asked. When Meowth nodded: _"You guys are pretty brave to be going after this thing. Um….The Team Rocket group…can I join?"_

This had been another thing they had been hearing—the Pokémon had been impressed enough that some wanted to join Team Rocket to gain that same sort of bravery. Really, it was fueled more by greed, but Meowth wasn't about to clarify for them—besides, they were _sure_ to get a promotion with the influx of Pokémon they had been sending Team Rocket's way.

"So the next place this thing will be heading is Pewter City, if it's following the routes," James observed, as the Beedrill departed for Rocket Headquarters. "What's after that?"

"Route Three and Mount Moon," Jessie supplied. "Clefairy are supposed to live there."

"We could catch some for the boss."

" _Or,_ " Meowth purred, feeling extra devious. "We use the balloon to head over there, head this thing off, and capture it! And then with any luck, the Clefairy will be grateful and offer to join Team Rocket of their own accord!"

"You know, if this keeps up, I think we ought to just keep following it," James mused. "Team Rocket is profiting more from the Pokémon this thing frightens than it would if we caught it!"

"Yeah, but if we leave it go too long, we'll just end up looking pathetic."

"Well then!" Jessie declared. "We can't have that—quick! To the balloon! We have a trap to set!"

* * *

The plan had worked: Geodude had gone down to Patches' Double Kick, and while Onix had been dicey, Pikachu had come out on top, thanks to a combination of small size, superior speed, and Iron Tail.

And now the party had another member.

As it turned out, strange-rock-guy that Misty had encountered was Brock's father, and had taken over gym leader and parenting duties so Brock could continue his aborted journey; Ash supposed it was an improvement over _not_ selling plain old rocks to people. Meantime, Brock had asked if he could come with them, and they said yes, sure, the more the merrier!

Ash was certain that somewhere, Darkrai was pitching a fit.

"We should probably try to make the Mount Moon caves soon," Brock observed. "That sounded like thunder."

Yup, definitely pitching a fit.

Ash decided he could live with that—listening to Brock and Misty talk about gym leader duties was fascinating and enlightening; Brock had heard about Cerulean City's gym too, apparently, and apparently, it didn't have all that good of a reputation. Misty, however, didn't seem to want to talk about it, deflecting the conversation whenever it threatened to linger on the topic.

"So after we visit the Cerulean City Pokémon Center, we can have that official battle, right?" Ash asked. "There's not a rule about having to have it in the gym, is there?"

"I hope not," Misty fumed. "The less I have to see of my sisters, the better."

"So long as an official gym leader has a gym badge on them, the battle can take place anywhere," Brock said. "The gym building is just for ease of access."

Misty froze, patted her pockets, then started checking her bag.

"Let me guess: you aren't carrying any with you," Brock said, watching her search.

"I can run in and back out and get one," Misty said, without conviction.

"Hey, come on, guys," Ash said, hopping up on a nearby rock. "You can't get down about that! We're on a Pokémon journey, and we're making good time! We're doing great!"

"Ash has a point," Brock agreed. "We can worry about you two's gym battle when we get to Cerulean City—in the meantime, let's focus on getting through Mount Moon before dark. I'm not too sold on going through the cave system at night."

"One of the people at the Pewter Museum said that you can find Moon Stones there," Misty said, clambering up the path behind Ash—her longer legs made it easier for her to follow. "And another one said there's going to be a fossil excavation soon."

"In Grandpa Canyon," Brock supplied—they waited as he scrabbled up after them, weighed down by his large backpack; Ash wondered what all he had in there, and if they'd really need even half of whatever it was. "It's in about a month—at the rate we're going, we'll probably make it."

"Out of curiosity, how populated are the routes near Pewter?"

"With Pokémon? Pretty average, I think."

"Really? We haven't been seeing a whole lot."

Ash was pretty sure he knew why. "Maybe we'll see some at Mount Moon," Ash said, pulling his field guide out. "This says that Zubat and Clefairy are common there."

 ** _"Bleagh—Fairy types,"_ ** he heard Darkrai hiss quietly.

Ah, so he was out of his funk now. "This says Clefairy are Normal types, but I thought I heard somewhere that they're Fairy types."

"They _were_ classified as Normal types," Brock clarified, making it to their level and heaving a sigh of relief. "But with more research coming out of Kalos, they've been reclassified as Fairy types. But then again, a lot of Normal types are classified that way because people aren't sure about their typing. Kangaskhan are classified as Normal, even though some researchers are looking into assigning it a Ground type."

"Is there any truth to the rumor that Kangaskhan are related to Cubone and Charmander?" Ash asked.

"I have no idea."

* * *

Darkrai drifted along a nearby ridge, ready to dart out of view should he need to.

He wasn't entirely sold on the boy travelling with these two, even if he did seem to be more open around them. Maybe it was the effect of that Weavile-kid what's-his-face—the professor's kid. Show the kid some attention, and he was as stuck on as a Joltik on a Blitzle.

It bugged him a bit that the kid probably wouldn't miss him if he left.

It bugged him that it bugged him.

He shrugged it off. He wasn't about to start down _that_ road—next thing you knew, he'd be asking the brat to capture him! _Blech!_

He needed something else to do. Let's see, what else was there to scare around here?...

* * *

"So that's Mount Moon."

"Yep."

"It looks bigger up close."

"That's why it's called 'Mount Moon' and not 'Moon Hill,'" Misty pointed out, interrupting their reverie.

Ash glanced at her, unsure if she was being sarcastic, while Brock checked his watch.

"We ought to make camp out here," Brock posed. "And away from the cave mouth—the Zubat will be coming out soon."

No sooner had he said that that the Zubat flew out, shrieking madly.

Ash and Misty shrieked madly too, diving to the ground as the bat Pokémon headed their way. Brock followed a moment later.

Something big and black bolted out after the Zubat. _That_ explained a lot.

Brock was up first, picking up a Pokéball that was on the ground up ahead.

"All right, I caught one!" Brock said.

"What?" Ash asked, up and over and peering through the translucent red cap. "Hey, a Zubat!"

"You seriously risked rabies for that?" Misty asked.

"Now that I'm back on my journey, I want to branch out a bit as far as types are concerned," Brock explained. "Come on—let's get camp started. I'll make dinner."

"Will there be chips?" Ash asked, thinking of Patches.

"Even better than that."

* * *

About an hour later, sleeping bags, a campfire, and Brock's cooking supplies were all set up, Pokémon out of Pokéballs and everyone scattered about the camp. Brock's new Zubat was clinging to his back, looking like it was watching him cook over his shoulder. Ash kept suggesting nicknames as he fed Patches a fresh bag of chips.

 ** _"Will you let the matter die already?"_** he heard Darkrai hiss.

Ash grimaced—oh, right. "What's the second pot?" he asked, deciding to follow Darkrai's prompt and change the subject.

"I want to be a Pokémon breeder or doctor someday," Brock explained, checking said second pot. "And part of that is making proper Pokémon food. Each Pokémon has different preferences, though, so it takes a lot of work."

"You _can_ sit closer to the fire, by the way," Misty told him.

"I'm fine," Ash assured her—besides, any closer, and he wouldn't be able to hear Darkrai, who was being fairly quiet to keep the others from hearing him.

Another hour later, upon eating the dinner he had made, Ash was of the opinion that if Brock could make Pokémon food half as good as he made human food, he'd be doing all right.

They discussed gyms after dinner—Lt. Surge was after Cerulean, and then Sabrina with her famed Psychic types.

"Ground would be effective against Electric types," Brock pointed out. "But Poison is weak against Psychic types, so you wouldn't be able to use Patches against Sabrina."

"What are Psychic types weak against?" Ash asked, trying to recall. "Bug, Ghost…."

 ** _"Dark isn't native to Kanto,"_** Darkrai reminded him.

Oh, right.

"Should we backtrack?" Ash asked, checking his field guide and angling it so the firelight caught on the writing. "Where are Bug types common besides Viridian Forest?"

"Well, there's Paras in Mount Moon," Brock said, thinking. "And then there's Venonat and Scyther, but they aren't common until later, I think."

"Firstly, don't catch a Paras—they're creepier than usual for bugs," Misty stated. "Secondly—you're thinking too far ahead. Focus on getting through Mount Moon."

"Right!" Ash agreed, thinking. "Hey, Paras and Clefairy are active at night, right?"

"Did you not listen to me?"

"They are, but traveling through the caves at night isn't too smart," Brock said.

Ash wasn't deterred. "But then how do we—"

"Hello."

" _Yoicks!"_

Ash wasn't the only one to yelp in alarm as some guy in a white lab coat loomed out of the dark; he was half-tempted to ask Darkrai if this was another one of his gags, seeing as how this was how his nightmares usually went.

"Hello, hello," the guy said. "I hear you seek Clefairy, yes?"

"Uh…." Ash exchanged glances with the others—they were all in Brock's arms, _Furfrou-Doo_ style. "Yes?" Ash guessed.

"Ah. Then I must stop you."

And with that, the guy assumed a kung-fu stance.

"I missed something," Misty said.

"Guys," Brock coughed. "Getting kinda heavy…."

"Pika!" Pikachu noised, jumping out of the group.

The guy went down shortly afterwards, thanks to Pikachu's Thunder Shock.

"That might have been unnecessary," Ash pointed out.

"Pika," Pikachu said, looking at him with Darkrai's _don't be stupid_ look.

"Oop—there I go," Brock gasped.

They tumbled to the ground.

"And yet you haul Geodude around like they're nothing," Misty said.

"I'm used to Rock Pokémon."

"So you're saying we're heavier than Rock Pokémon?"

"Um…."

"So who is this guy?" Ash asked, deciding to try to defuse the situation.

"I don't know—we'll find out when he wakes up."


	10. The Fairies of Mount Moon

**Chapter 10, everybody! In which we follow the bouncing pink things….**

 **Pokeevee57, thanks for the review! Thank you, glad you liked the chapter and the reference. :D Yes indeed…and yes, that was good. I hope to continue to please!**

 **Hunter Redflame, thanks for the review! I do too—I think when I first wrote it, I was eager to get on to the character interactions, and when it came time to do the Brock battle, it just seemed better to skip it. Yes—Thunder would be a good one, or Swift (spam that one every time I run into a horde). Glad you're enjoying the pacing so far—I didn't want to go too fast or too slow, so this is good. And not any time soon, I'm sure. Demeaning Face is best move. :) Thank you, I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Yana5, thanks for the review! I hope I can continue to please!**

 **Vismur, thanks for the review! Ah, glad it made you laugh. :D I suppose it makes a good noodle incident—and yes, this might become a problem later….Just a bit. ;) And of course! Pikachu does not approve of random guys coming out of nowhere. Me too. :D**

 **Maerk Andrew, thanks for the review! I'll try (throws textbook at Ash). Eh, to be fair, he does ask first—if they say no, he doesn't bother. Thank you, I'm glad you like it so far, and I hope to continue to please! And maybe….**

 **Neoxistatehuaki, thanks for the review! Thank you, I'm glad you've found it entertaining so far, and I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Analon, thanks for the review! Glad you like it so far, and I hope to continue to please!**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **Coming soon to theaters: _Lilo and Stitch_ —the adventures of a Pa'u Oricorio and her Sableye friend in the island region of Alola. See the sights, surf the waves, and mind the Pyukumuku. Sponsored by Fangdango—when the sight of a Raticate is a good thing!**

Weird guy woke up an hour later with some assistance from Misty's Goldeen using Water Sport.

His struggle to wakefulness was arrested by Pikachu sitting firmly on his chest.

"Hi," Ash greeted, sitting cross-legged next to him. "We're going to ask you some questions, if you don't mind—"

"Like why you were going to attack us," Misty pointed out, standing with her hands on her hips.

"And why you make it a habit to sneak up on people in the middle of the night," Brock contributed, also standing and with his arms sternly crossed—the full gym-leader treatment.

"May I explain with the Pikachu off my chest, yes?" weird-guy asked.

"Pika," Pikachu said sternly, cheeks sparking.

"Pikachu would rather stay there," Ash pointed out. "At least until we know you aren't going to attack us again."

"So why did you?" Misty asked. "Attack us, I mean."

"I heard you were capturing Clefairy—I am studying Clefairy. I cannot let you catch them," weird-guy explained.

"There were civil ways to explain that," Brock stated.

"Those are coming to mind now."

"So you know where Clefairy are?" Ash asked.

"I will not let you catch them. I will take that secret to my grave."

Ash looked at the others.

"I think you'll have to give up on catching one," Misty said.

"What about just _seeing_ one?" Ash asked weird-guy. "I'm filling out a Pokedex for Professor Oak—"

"Ah, he is one of my colleagues!" weird-guy said.

"Seriously?"

"Yes! I am Professor Seymour, studying potential Fairy-types in Kanto!"

"And you couldn't have just explained that?" Brock asked.

"I have tried that—it has not ended well."

"Why not?" Ash asked.

"Bad trainers."

"Ah."

"So are we allowed to see them?" Misty asked. "Or are you going to attack us again?"

"I will escort you to them, yes—but no captures," Professor Seymour insisted.

Ash looked at the others, who nodded.

"We can live with that," he said.

* * *

Pikachu glanced up at Ash as they walked through the cave systems to find him fiddling with his Pokedex—something about checking to see if it had video.

Pikachu, meanwhile, was having to fight to keep his cheeks from sparking. Idiot yutz kid—and the other two were no better, following this nut into a cave system. They could get irreparably lost in this!

He stopped to peer into the gloom behind them. If he squinted, he could catch a glimpse of that monster.

He was tempted to ask if he'd get them back out, discarded it as too much trouble, _heavily_ tempted to just run, but decided against that as well—he was only sticking with Ash because Darkrai scared him to bits. He didn't want to know what would happen if he didn't go along with the kid. That thing was a predator of epic proportions—Pikachu didn't even make a blip on its radar as far as power went.

So what if he wasn't trapped in a Pokéball? He was still trapped.

Granted, it was fun learning Iron Tail—and taking down an Onix! He doubted many Pikachu could claim _that!_

He glanced back up at the kid—the Pokedex was put away, now, and he was looking around eagerly.

"We are close now, yes," the nut said. "Remember—no catching. And be quiet, yes—don't startle them."

They reached a cavern with an open ceiling—like a meteor had punched through eons ago. It was a brilliant blue—the cavern somehow reflected the full moon.

The nut shooed them over behind a rock, an easy feat, considering how stunned they all were.

Pikachu's ears twitched as the first Clefairy hopped out.

 _"Seymour?"_ it asked.

Pikachu glanced at the nut, who was kneeling in what he probably thought was a non-threatening position. It seemed to satisfy the Clefairy, though, who called to its compatriots. Soon, the cavern was full of bouncing pink things.

Something moved, and Pikachu glanced to see Ash fishing in his pockets.

 _"Hey, you promised,"_ Pikachu chided.

Ash held a finger to his mouth as he pulled his Pokedex back out.

"I figured out the video on this," he explained quietly. "Professor Oak will flip when he sees this!"

Pikachu watched, surprised, as Ash quietly filmed, thrilled to death at what he was seeing.

Perhaps he was wrong about him—maybe there were worse things than being stuck with some kid who maybe had more of a moral code than most humans.

 _"There is a Shadow over him."_

Pikachu turned, startled, to see something that looked like a large Clefairy—a Clefable. " _Huh?"_ he asked.

 _"A Shadow hangs over him,"_ the Clefable repeated—there was something oddly blank about its eyes. _"A darkness that clings to him—he has been tainted by its contact."_

 _"What do you mean?"_

"Hey, guys, look."

Pikachu glanced over to see the humans watching them, Ash filming _them_ now. Thank goodness all they could hear was _Pikachu_ and _Clefable._ They probably thought it was _cute_.

 _"Explain,"_ Pikachu demanded, turning back to the Clefable. _"What are you talking about?"_

 _"A darkness from afar,"_ the Clefable said. _"It came escaping its sins. The boy…it has latched to the boy. He will carry its taint for all eternity."_

 _"What do you mean? Stop talking in riddles!"_

 _"He was chosen…and then the shadow came. His destiny is forever altered."_

 _"If you don't start talking straight, I'm going to fry you like an egg!"_ Pikachu growled, cheeks sparking.

"Pikachu, _no,_ " Ash hissed. "Play nice."

 _" Play nice!? If you knew what this pink fluffball was saying—"_

He froze, realizing what he was about to say.

 _"You care for the boy,"_ the Clefable said.

 _" You shut up!"_ Pikachu snapped, rounding on it.

But before anything else could happen, an explosion sounded, shaking the cavern and sending rocks and startled Geodude tumbling.

Pikachu glanced up, startled, to see two humans and a Meowth standing at the cavern's edge.

" _Prepare for trouble!"_ the girl said.

 _"And make it double!"_ the boy rejoined.

 _"To protect the world from devastation!"_

 _"To unite all peoples within our nation!"_

 _"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"_

 _"To extend our reach to the stars above!"_

 _"Jessie!"_

 _"James!"_

 _"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!"_

 _"Surrender now or prepare to fight fight fight!"_

 _"Meowth! That's right!"_ the Meowth said.

 _"Who are you nuts supposed to be?"_ Pikachu asked, as the humans asked similar variations.

"We're Team Rocket, you twerps!" the Meowth declared, pointing dramatically.

 _"They can't understand you, moron,"_ Pikachu snarled.

"Shut it, you rat!"

Pikachu's next comment was cut off by a low chuckle and a cacophony of Clefairy shrieks.

 _"What's going on?"_ Pikachu asked frantically, as he and the humans were herded into the caves by a press of pink.

 _"Ultima Umbra."_

 _"What?"_ Pikachu asked, managing to stay long enough to look at the peculiar Clefable.

 _"Last Shadow,"_ the Clefable translated.


	11. Shadows in Moonlight

**Chapter 11, everybody, and my first update of the year! In which Clefable quotes the Bible, Meowth quotes Bill Cosby, and this week on Versus has Darkrai versus a pink horde….**

 **XT3100, thanks for the review! Yes indeed….**

 **CandlitNights, thanks for the review! Don't worry about it—life happens. I am! I'm studying Online Education—which is great, since there are studies about the benefits of fan fiction to native English speakers and English as a Foreign Language; it means that fan fiction is actually good for you. :D I did! Thank you. This is true. And yes, poor Lenny. XD Thank you, glad you like those—me too….It could go either way, honestly. Me neither—I already have the general idea of his backstory scripted out, so that'll be fun when it comes up. Don't worry, I noticed that too—Misty and Brock will meet up with Darkrai, rest assured. Thanks again, and I hope to continue to please!**

 **Crestilia, thanks for the review! Probably a wise sentiment….**

 **Hunter Redflame, thanks for the review! Yes…and yes. This is true. And thank you, glad you like the Clefable—me too…they've been fun to figure out. Wow, really? I hope to continue to please then! :D**

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! We should be finding that out this chapter….**

 **Yana5, thanks for the review! Right back at you! :D**

 **Chermayne, thanks for the review! Glad you like it, and I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Vismur, thanks for the review! Yes….And yes, Clefable are useful when they're not being portents of doom. :) Yes…right now Pikachu is staying under duress, but it seems he's starting to warm to Ash a little. Yes—I watched some of the early episodes to get a feel for this fic, and what I saw—yowch. It doesn't pay to be the voice of reason, it seems….**

 **Pokeevee57, thanks for the review! Yes…and thank you, I'm glad you liked it! Right back at you! :D**

 **Anonymous Person, thanks for the review! Yes, well….Possibly…but I don't guarantee anything. Considering other people have, I think you can, so no worries. :)**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

 **A Bug's Life © 1998 Pixar ("It's a rock")**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **And now, a public service announcement from the Kalosian Pokémon League: Whoever's teaching the Gourgeist Justin Bieber songs, please stop.**

The three stooges didn't last long.

Darkrai landed in the center of the cavern, quite pleased with himself. He dusted himself off as he basked in his own impressiveness.

 _"You bring disaster."_

Darkrai spun around to see one of those pink menaces staring at him. ** _"What?"_** he asked, not comprehending. Of course the airheaded Fairy wouldn't see that he had just saved their annoying little lives.

 _"You flee the sins of your past,"_ the Clefable said, raising its hands.

More pink aggravations poured in.

 _"But the wages of sin is death,"_ the Clefable continued. _"Your reign of terror ends here, Last Shadow. Your shadow will no longer taint the region, or the boy."_

 ** _"You've been eating Paras mushrooms,"_** Darkrai guessed—right now, he had to play it cool. He was a Dark type surrounded by Fairy types—he had to get out of here.

 _"Destroy him!"_ the Clefable commanded.

Darkrai went for the obvious exit, crouching down on his thin legs and launching himself straight for the hole in the ceiling—

He felt himself slow down—getting heavy—

Gravity. They were using Gravity.

On the plus side, he wasn't a Flying type, nor did he have the ability Levitate—it wouldn't affect him as badly. But a cavern-full of Clefairy all using the move at once was enough to crush anything. He was dead if he touched the ground again.

So he went for a different approach, focusing on absorbing the gloom so he could release it as Dark Pulse—but no dice. The cavern was open to the full moon, and the peculiar rocks reflected the light so there was no shadow in the area. Plan—he needed a new plan.

He heard chanting—Lucky Chant. And then something over that—

 _Murderer!_

What?

 _Evil! Corruption! Pale shadow of the moon!_

 ** _"Nggh,"_** Darkrai growled, covering his ears. Disarming Voice—he should have known. And now some of them were starting to sing—they were going to drag him down, squish him against the rocks, and then pummel him until he was a grease smear.

Stupid Disarming Voice worming its way into his ears—because if that move was making it, then so would their Sing—and he couldn't fall asleep _now_ , what with their calling for his blood—

Wait—

So stupid.

He drifted down, down, down—until he was nearly touching the ground, struggling the whole way—they were redoubling their efforts, they almost had him—

Or so they thought.

Because now, so close to the ground, he finally had an advantage over them.

He had a shadow.

He extended his power straight down, seizing the shadow and drawing out all of its power, and generally resulting in a giant wave of darkness that crashed into the pink balls of fluff.

He nearly rocketed straight out of the cavern once Gravity lost its hold, but he managed to flip around and drift back in, searching the sleeping bodies for one in particular.

He found the Clefable and entered its dream, planning on making its nightmare _very_ personal.

* * *

Darkrai was severely startled upon entry.

He had never been in a nightmare like this.

No…not true….Xatus and Espurrs had a habit of dreaming of the apocalypse. It was depressing, to be honest.

He spotted the Clefable—not crying, or shaking, or anything else—simply standing there, watching Kanto burn from its perch on Mount Moon.

It turned to him slowly, deliberately—it knew he was going to single it out.

 _"This is what will happen,"_ it declared. _"You've brought disaster upon us all."_

 ** _"This is why you're morbid,"_** Darkrai declared. **_"You've been staring at the moon too long."_**

The Clefable shook its head. _"This started five years ago. Five years ago, a shadow fell upon Kanto. Five years ago, a boy chosen to save the regions fell under the shadow's taint. We are now doomed to what you see before you."_

 ** _"I'm sorry, do I look like I speak idiot?"_**

The Clefable looked at him fully now, beseeching. _"I beg you—leave the boy alone. There is still time to undo what has been done. Your being here, your following the boy, has upset a carefully planned destiny. I know why you follow the boy—but I beg you, consider the future. Do you want to see the world burn because of you? Your actions are destroying the world!"_

Darkrai struck him, shattering the nightmare.

* * *

He stood over the Clefable, now sleeping a dreamless sleep. The others were mewling—he wondered if they were seeing the same nightmare.

His chest was heaving, he realized—the stupid pink fluffball had shaken him up.

A carefully planned destiny?

Who on earth would plan a destiny around a village idiot?

 _I know why you follow the boy._

That was a trick, considering _he_ didn't even know.

No. It was all just a Fairy trick. The stupid pink things were notorious for that sort of thing.

He glared down at the immobile Pokémon.

 ** _"Moon worshipers,"_** he sneered.

Somehow, that didn't make him feel better.

* * *

The Clefairy ran them out of the caves before dashing back in.

"Well," Ash said finally, after they all had dusted themselves off. "We got through Mount Moon in record time."

"Yeah, that was weird," Misty said, peering back into the caves. "Did you hear that weird laugh?"

"I did indeed," Seymour said. "I must go back—I have to make sure the Clefairy are all right."

At that, a Clefairy appeared in the cave mouth and spread its arms.

 _"Clefairy,"_ it said definitively.

"Did we just get kicked out?" Ash asked.

Clefairy nodded, then sketched in the dirt. They crowded around to see what looked like Clefairy fighting a big monster, if one squinted and was feeling generous. Otherwise, it was just a couple of circles with lines to a big rock.

"I see," Seymour said sagely, nodding.

"That makes one of us," Misty muttered.

"The Clefairy are fighting off the intruders and do not want to have to worry about accidentally injuring us. Therefore, they herded us out to safety."

The Clefairy nodded.

"I guess we just have to take it at that," Ash said. "Thanks for letting us watch, though, Clefairy."

 _"Clefairy,"_ the Clefairy said, pointing at Ash and then waving him closer.

"It seems to want to give you something," Seymour said.

Ash glanced at Misty and Brock, who both shrugged. He stooped down so he was on its level.

The Clefairy gave him a rock shaped like a crescent moon.

"Thanks," Ash said, accepting it and weighing it in his hand. "It's…a rock?"

"It seems to be a variation of Moon Stone," Seymour observed. "You should feel honored—Clefairy do not impart gifts to just anyone."

"Thank you very much?"

" _Clefairy,"_ the Clefairy said, placing its paws on Ash's hand.

 _Beware the shadow._

"Huh?" Ash noised, stunned—did the Clefairy just _talk?_

But the Clefairy had already gone to sit on a rock beside Seymour, who sat next to it.

"I will stay here for now," Seymour declared. "When it is safe, Clefairy may allow me back in to continue my studies."

"They do seem to like you," Brock observed.

"It seems to be so. There is a clearing down the road," Seymour said, pointing. "I wouldn't go much farther past that before daybreak, however—the roads are treacherous at night."

"Why don't we stay here a bit then?" Misty suggested, sitting down on a rock; Brock followed suit. "You could tell us more about the Clefairy—like what were they doing? It looked like dancing."

"It _is_ dancing! You see, I have a theory about where Clefairy come from…."

Ash, meanwhile, was too focused on the Clefairy's gift to pay them much mind. He sat cross-legged on the ground, turning the rock over and over in his hands, trying to figure out what had just happened.

 _Beware the shadow._ What did that mean? It didn't mean Darkrai, did it?

"Pika _chu."_

Ash looked to see his starter sitting next to him, one paw on Ash's knee. "Hey, buddy."

"Pika," Pikachu responded.

"I don't know," Ash said, looking at the rock again. "What do you think? _'Beware the shadow.'"_

Pikachu made a face before shaking his head vehemently, stopping just short of knocking the rock out of Ash's hand.

"Yeah," Ash said, scratching Pikachu between the ears—he had discovered that the electric mouse enjoyed it immensely. "That's what I thought too."

* * *

It was nearly daybreak when Team Rocket finally made their way back to Mount Moon.

"I'm having a thought," James announced.

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Jessie asked—rhetorically, Meowth felt.

"I think we should patent that mode of travel. I mean, look how much ground we covered! Blasting off could be the next big thing!"

"I think the people who get shot out of cannons at the circus may have beat you to it."

"That's where branding comes in."

"Guys," Meowth announced, stopping. "We've got company."

A Clefable stood in front of them, looking distinctly worse for wear.

" _You are Team Rocket?"_ it asked wearily.

"Yes?" Meowth answered slowly—he wasn't sure if the Clefairy and Clefable had a good opinion of them at the moment.

At his response, the Clefable waved. Nearly a dozen more pink Pokémon came forward—a few Clefable and a handful of Clefairy.

 _"These are some of our best fighters,"_ the Clefable declared. _"Your motives may not be pure, but necessity has found us a common enemy. These fairies will join your team in order to destroy the threat that overshadows us all."_

"What, you mean that black thing?" Meowth asked, struggling to keep his voice even and his expression appropriate—right now, on the inside, he was cheering insanely.

The Clefable nodded. _"Ultima Umbra—the Last Shadow. It must be stopped—it threatens the very existence of Kanto. Nay, it threatens the existence of the entire world!"_

Okay, that was pretty heavy…."Wait—you know about this thing?"

 _"I do indeed."_

"Well then, what is it? Is it a Pokémon? What type is it?"

 _"It is…the pitch-black legendary,"_ the Clefable intoned. Meowth felt like a weight was settling on him and wondered if the Clefable wasn't using Gravity. _"The pure dark type, bringer of nightmares….It is…."_

Meowth leaned forward, afraid he'd miss the last bit.

 _"Darkrai,"_ the Clefable declared.


	12. Frenzy

**Chapter 12, everybody! In which Ash captures another Pokémon….**

 **Chermayne, thanks for the review! I hope I continue to provide interesting chapters! :D**

 **Pokeevee57, thanks for the review! Yes he was—Darkrai requests that that observation never leave this review. Yes….**

 **XT3100, thanks for the review! I'm guessing that's supposed to be Darkrai….To be fair, he does have history that hasn't been brought up yet—although he and Ash do seem to have good chemistry. Hopefully it will be interesting….**

 **Vismur, thanks for the review! Good question…and interesting observations—we shall see. ;) But if he did** ** _that_** **, then Ash would be expecting a hug or something like that, and Darkrai hugs are only for special occasions. And yes, Ash does seem to be a magnet for trouble. Perhaps they will….I'm looking forward to Lugia's reaction too, although for now I'm focusing on getting them through Kanto in one piece. Perhaps….**

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! Yes, well…no we haven't…maybe some sort of mouthy black blot being a bad influence….Good question. And also a good question—one does have to wonder at the reasoning of the Pokémon world as a whole, seeing as how no one seems to question sending a ten-year-old off by themselves with no apparent training whatsoever (except for Bianca's dad in** ** _Black/White_** **, but he gets his chops busted for it, so…).**

 **Yana5, thanks for the review! I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Yourfriendlyneighborhoodturtle, thanks for the reviews! I'm glad the story impressed you enough that you had to comment—and that you enjoy the Magikarp teammate. :D I'm glad you like my writing too—I hope to continue to please! :D Also glad you liked the cliffhanger—we'll see more about Darkrai's past at some point, I'm certain. We'll see….**

 **Hunter Redflame, thanks for the review! Yes…those three are remarkably resilient. No, not at all. This is true. This is also true…oh wow, you have a point. :O This should be interesting….**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **In other news, the popularity of Gourgeist among young female trainers has taken an upswing. Those interviewed cite the fact that their newly-captured Gourgeist know classic Justin Bieber songs as a motivating reason.**

They waved goodbye to Seymour and the Clefairy and headed down the path as the sun peeked over Mount Moon. The path was as treacherous as Seymour had described, with plenty of half-submerged Geodude—Patches, with the assistance of Misty's Goldeen, made short work of them.

"Ah, finally, sun!" Misty said, as the sun finally made it over the mountain. "I thought we'd never see light again! Those caves are creepy!"

"Pitch black does have that effect," Brock declared.

"How much longer until Cerulean City?" Ash asked, jumping onto a boulder to look ahead—after checking the boulder first; he had made the mistake of leaping before he looked once before and ended up waking an irate Graveler.

"About a day and a half, if we push it," Misty said, examining the territory. "I don't feel like pushing it though—I _really_ need some sleep."

That didn't leave much time—he really needed to squeeze some training in before—

 _"Eeek! Ash! On your pack! Get it off!"_

Ash leaped straight into the air at Misty's shriek, quickly spinning so he didn't twist an ankle on landing and frantically struggling out of his backpack—

There was a Pokémon clinging to his backpack. It had probably been there since Mount Moon, but none of them had seen it before due to the gloom. Ash didn't even need the Pokédex to identify it—not with those mushrooms on its head.

"A Paras!" Ash exclaimed excitedly.

"If you're going to catch it, I suggest getting it off your bag first," Brock said, giving Misty—who was currently hiding behind him—a cursory glance. "And don't touch it—Paras are renowned for their Spores."

Ash quickly found a stick and used it to coax the bug Pokémon off his backpack. It went off without fuss.

"So, Paras," Ash said. "You want to journey with us? It'll be fun."

The Paras simply stared at him.

"Do you want a lift back to Mount Moon?" Ash asked, pointing back the way they had come.

The Paras simply stared at him.

"Do you want something to eat?" Ash asked, guessing now.

The Paras simply stared at him.

"Is it all right?" Ash asked his travelling companions, half-pointing at the Paras.

"No, it's not all right," Misty said, sounding like she had her face pressed against Brock's backpack. "The mushrooms on a Paras' head eat its brain. It's the creepiest of all creepy bugs."

Ash winced at that. "Should we take the mushrooms off?"

"I wouldn't," Brock advised. "I've heard of a few trainers who have tried—it always ends up killing the Paras. They have a symbiotic relationship with their mushrooms—they move the mushrooms around, and in turn the mushrooms provide them with more moves."

"I always heard they were zombie Pokémon," Misty muttered.

"I won't deny that either."

Ash shrugged, making his decision. "Okay, we're going to catch it!" he declared, turning back to the bug—it hadn't moved. "Pikachu, use Thunder Shock!"

Pikachu did so, sending a bolt of electricity flying at Paras.

Paras took it, stayed stock-still for half-a-minute, then keeled over.

"That was…underwhelming," Ash observed.

"You'd better catch it before it recovers," Brock advised.

"Oh, right!" Ash quickly fumbled in his pack. Upon finding his prize, he yanked it out of the bag and flung it at Paras.

The Pokéball sucked Paras in and captured it without a struggle.

"Is that normal?" Ash asked his travelling companions, half-pointing at the Pokéball.

" _I've_ never seen anything like it," Brock said, eyebrows up. "Maybe it just liked you."

"Just my luck," Misty muttered.

* * *

They found a grassy plateau to stop and eat breakfast on. Brock set to making said meal, while Ash focused on introducing the newest member of his team to the rest of his Pokémon.

"This is Paras," he declared upon releasing them. "Paras, this is Patches, Lenny, and you've met Pikachu. Sorry about earlier."

Paras simply passively observed them, not even reacting when Patches went up to it and sniffed it inquisitively. Unsure how to handle the odd behavior, Ash checked his Pokédex to see more about Paras.

"Okay," he noised, reading. "Male, Bug and Grass type, ability is Effect Spore….Level 9, so you know Scratch and Stun Spore. Hmm…." He pointed at a nearby tree. "Let's see how you do. Use Scratch on that tree."

The effect was immediate and surprising.

The Paras let out a wild shriek and ran straight for the tree, Scratching it frantically and causing no small amount of alarm among the rest on the plateau.

"Woah, woah! _Stop!_ " Ash yelled, wanting to go bodily stop Paras but worrying about getting too close.

Paras immediately stopped.

"What was _that?"_ Misty squawked.

"I…have no idea," Ash admitted. "Paras, come here— _easy._ "

Paras scuttled over to stand in front of Ash.

"Uh, how about we call you Frenzy?" Ash asked. "It seems to fit."

Paras simply stood there, giving neither acceptance nor denial of the name. The Pokédex beeped, however—Ash looked at it to see that it had registered the name. Oops.

"I _told_ you they were zombie Pokémon," Misty scolded, as Brock set out breakfast.

"I don't think he's a _zombie-_ zombie," Ash shot back. "Come on, guys, breakfast."

The Pokémon settled into their bowls of Pokémon food—except for Frenzy. Frenzy was standing right next to Ash. His _come here_ command, he realized.

"So you'll do exactly what I say and nothing else?" Ash asked.

Frenzy stood there.

Ash exchanged glances with Brock, who shrugged—Misty was eating her breakfast on top of a boulder as far away from Frenzy as possible.

"Here, Frenzy," Ash said, pointing at his bowl. "Breakfast."

Frenzy stood there.

"Eat your breakfast," Ash said.

Frenzy scuttled forward and began rapidly devouring the food. Ash watched until Frenzy had eaten every last crumb and began gnawing on the bowl. "That's enough, Frenzy."

Frenzy stopped.

Ash looked at Brock.

"I don't know what to tell you," Brock said, shrugging.

"Maybe he'll get better with training," Ash suggested.

"Maybe. Now eat your breakfast before I feed it to him."


	13. Dreams, Signs, and Nuggets

**Chapter 13, everybody! Which is a little sedate, but…then I checked the word count for this chapter and the next—so what was two chapters is now one. Good progress.**

 **Chermayne, thanks for the review! Glad you like it, and hope to continue to please!**

 **Pokeevee57, thanks for the review! "Ah, good." Moving on—glad Frenzy made an impact. :) Haha, yes….I read something to that effect somewhere on FanFiction a while back, and it stuck with me. :)**

 **Dragonkeeper10, thanks for the review! Yes, this will be interesting to watch….**

 **Hunter Redflame, thanks for the review! Yes, most definitely….Hey, it has potential—and could have a nice** ** _Librarians_** **reference as a self-fulfilling prophecy. :) Yes, these will be good…I already figured how Sabrina will react to Ash. ;) Yes, that'll be interesting…I need to rewatch that movie….Thank you, I hope to continue to please!**

 **Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! Yes, this is true…it may be that Frenzy is odd even by Paras standards—reactions to him will be interesting, to say the least. ;)**

 **Gryphonsson, thanks for the review! Yes, definitely….**

 **Thanks for the review, guest! Yes indeedy….**

 **Anonymous Person, thanks for the review! I know, right? That is a gross misrepresentation. It may be true, but it's still a gross misrepresentation.**

 **Yana5, thanks for the review! Right back at you! :D**

 **Vismur, thanks for the review! Oh wow, glad it was that entertaining! :D Mwaha, yes…and Paras loves you too (and I have to see that shirt at some point). No problem! I did….**

 **Johnny Spectre, thanks for the reviews! Don't sweat the shipping, as there isn't going to be any of that in this (there will be some teasing, but no shipping—except for the chapters that actually** ** _involve_** **ships. Of the floating kind). Probably….**

 **Prototron MJ Tornada, thanks for the review! Yes…he'll come to grips with it eventually, I'm sure….**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

 **Skulduggery Pleasant © 2007 Derek Landy ("Lots of clever little things" comes from this series)**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **In other news, there are reports in Unova of a sentient cloud. Witnesses claim that the cloud has descended to ground level on multiple occasions and assaulted random passerby. Authorities recommend staying inside. Do not engage the sentient cloud.**

They travelled on, meandering down the mountain towards Cerulean City. Misty was dragging her heels—Ash wondered what was so bad about her sisters.

He wasn't complaining, however—the extra time gave him the opportunity to train some more. All his Pokémon were up a few levels now, but he wasn't sure if it was enough. Darkrai's warning from—was it seriously last week?—came back to him. Misty would know all his tricks by the time their gym battle rolled around. He needed time to plan a good strategy and ensure it worked.

He was seriously starting to regret travelling with company.

Worse, rolling over in his sleeping bag that night, travelling with company meant he couldn't talk to his best friend.

"Pika," Pikachu muttered, looking at him bleary-eyed.

"Sorry," Ash whispered. "Can't sleep."

Pikachu shook his head slightly, standing; he squirmed into the sleeping bag and turned around so he was under Ash's arm, head under his chin.

Ash hugged him a little. "Thanks, bud."

"Pikachu," Pikachu murmured, drifting back off.

Ash finally managed to drift off as well. Maybe having other friends was a good thing after all….

* * *

 ** _"It's about time you fell asleep."_**

"Darkrai!" Ash exclaimed, thrilled to see the pitch-black Pokémon again. He glanced around to make sure they were—

"Where are we?" Ash asked. "Pallet Town? It doesn't look right."

 ** _"You're dreaming,"_** Darkrai explained airily. **_"To be honest, this isn't the weirdest one you've had."_**

That would explain why the trees were purple and blurry and why Professor Oak's Arcanine was wearing his lab coat. "What was my weirdest one?"

 ** _"Trust me on this—you don't want to know."_**

"Well, at least we can talk again—listen, I need your help—"

 ** _"That's no surprise,"_** Darkrai said, pointing. **_"You'd wander off a cliff if someone wasn't keeping an eye on you."_**

"Um, about—"

 ** _"Nuh-uh—you're not getting out of this that easy. You want my help so bad, you make time for it when you're awake. And don't think I'm letting you off easy now."_**

With that, Darkrai vanished.

"Hey, Ashy-boy! Nice undies!"

Ash looked up to see that he was back in Pallet Town's classroom, in front of a full class, in nothing but his Porygon-pattern undies.

"I'm gonna get him for this," Ash muttered.

* * *

"You've been awfully quiet today."

"Hmm?" Ash noised. "Sorry—I was thinking."

"About?" Misty asked.

"Lots of clever little things." Another Darkrai special.

He could understand Darkrai's attitude—he had been his friend since he was five, and now he was completely neglecting him. To quote Darkrai—what a bum.

"So at the rate we're going, we should come up on Cerulean City tomorrow morning," Brock said, consulting his travel guide. He looked to Misty. "You can have your gym battle then, as soon as you get a badge to award."

Misty looked distinctly uncomfortable. "I'll be able to handle it," she muttered.

Ash wasn't sure if he was cut out for having more than one friend—he wanted to worry about Darkrai, yes, but now he was worried about Misty, too.

Man, real life was tougher than it looked on TV.

* * *

Darkrai skimmed above a nearby lake, enjoying the night air. He reached the center, executed a perfect spin, and launched himself into the air, performing a backflip for good measure.

It didn't help.

Normally, such feats of acrobatic prowess did wonders to bolster his spirits—it was the job description for the move Sword Dance, one he had been quite fortunate to learn from a technical machine one year.

But _nooo,_ that stupid Clefable had to go and ruin it.

 _You bring disaster._

 _Murderer._

 _Your actions are destroying the world!_

Common misconception—he blamed not having as good a PR man as his goody-no-shoes counterpart Cresselia. And besides, she had pink to her—pink Pokémon were always liked better. It was an unfortunate truth—and a little embarrassing, to be honest.

He settled on a rock poking above the surface of the lake to think. Say he entertained that stupid pink puff's opinion for a moment—what sort of yutz would mold the world's destiny around a village idiot? The kid may have some good moments, but at the end of the day he wasn't winning any intelligence contests.

And what made them think that _he_ was screwing the whole thing up?

It was imbecilic at best.

At worst, he had a small inclination to believe them.

He blamed his youth, when he practically destroyed everything he touched. But he was better now, right?

Darkrai snorted and drifted back into the air.

That's what he got when he listened to fairies.

* * *

"We're here!" Brock declared as they crested a hill. "Cerulean City!"

"Wow," Ash noised. "It looks…wet."

"That's the lake, you ninny," Misty scolded.

"Oh."

"'Cerulean City,'" Brock read off a nearby sign. "Huh—someone wrote on this. "

"Aren't signs supposed to have writing?" Ash asked, before spotting the graffiti.

He saw red upon reading it.

 _"'Gary Oak was here, Ash is a loser!'?"_ Ash read. "That—that _jerk!"_

"Who's Gary?" Misty asked.

"He's a jerk," Ash explained. "Like the jerkiest of jerks. He makes other jerks look nice."

"That's pretty jerky," Brock said, smirking.

"Well, there are some other names too, but I'm not allowed to say them."

"What did he ever do to you?" Misty asked.

"Well, start off with name-calling, then tripping—and the glorious moment when he shoved me in one of his grandfather's lockers, where I remained for the rest of the day until Professor Oak needed something from that locker. That was not fun."

"Jerk."

"See?"

"Don't give him the satisfaction," Brock said, waving it off. "You'll encounter people like that every day. The sooner you can turn them into water off a Psyduck's back, the better."

"And how does that work?" Ash called after him, as the rock-type trainer began heading down the hill.

"Easy," Brock called back. "You find out that their opinion doesn't really matter. It's what you think of yourself that counts."

Ash and Misty exchanged glances, digesting that statement for a minute before hastening after Brock.

* * *

"It looks less wet up close," Ash observed, glancing at Misty. "So do I have time to go to the Pokémon Center real quick?"

"Sure," Misty said, rubbing her arms. "This is going to take me a while, anyway."

"Why?"

Misty fidgeted a bit more before finally answering. "My sisters."

Ash exchanged glances with Brock, who shrugged. "I don't follow," Ash told her—and he didn't, being an only child.

"Imagine having three Garys as older siblings."

"I definitely follow," Ash said. "My sympathies."

"So!" Misty declared. "I'm going to wait until they have one of their water shows and then duck in and get a few badges. It'll take a few hours before one starts, so you'd better be ready by the time I get back."

And with that, she ran off.

"I have to ask," Ash said, turning to Brock. "Are siblings all really like that, or should I be glad I was born an only child?"

"It depends on the family," Brock told him. "I love my siblings to death, but I'm glad I got the opportunity to get away from them for a bit."

Ash digested that for a moment. "So what are you going to do? While we wait for Misty, I mean."

"I'm going shopping for supplies," Brock said, turning towards the familiar blue roof of a Pokémart. "Think you can stay out of trouble in the meantime?"

"Sure," Ash said, heading for the Pokémon Center. "Just so long as trouble doesn't make it a point to find _me_."

* * *

Ash was out and exploring the moment Nurse Joy gave his Pokémon a clean bill of health.

He had a few hours to kill, and he intended to spend that time exploring. And, perhaps, finding an isolated spot so he could talk to Darkrai.

As he wended through town, he couldn't help but worry a bit about Frenzy. He had asked Nurse Joy specifically about the Paras, and while she did say his behavior was a little odd, it was pretty average for the Paras line, and he was perfectly healthy, so….

"Well well well! If it isn't Ashy-boy!"

Ash looked up sharply. "Gary?" he squawked. "What are _you_ doing here?"

Gary waved him off, looking decidedly smug. "None of your business. Hey—you should head over to the gym here. I hear they're giving away badges, and that's the only way someone like _you_ could get any."

Seriously? No wonder Misty wasn't so hot on it. "I'll have you know I already _have_ a badge," Ash shot. "And I've got another gym battle lined up—I'll have _earned_ my Cerulean badge."

Gary started laughing.

Ash gritted his teeth— _water off a Psyduck's back,_ he reminded himself.

"Good joke, Ashy-boy," Gary said, beginning to walk around him.

"If you don't believe me, why don't we have a battle and prove it?" Ash asked. Pikachu agreed sharply, cheeks sparking.

Gary laughed again. "Please—I just cleaned out Nugget Bridge. Battling you would be a waste of time."

"Nugget Bridge?"

"You beat five trainers, you get a gold nugget," Gary said, fishing one out of his pocket. "Of course, knowing you, you couldn't even get past _one._ "

"If I win that, _then_ will you battle me?"

Gary's sides had to be getting sore by now. "Sure," Gary said. "You bring me a gold nugget you won on the bridge—and trust me, I'll be able to tell— _then_ I'll give you the honor of playing the mop."

"Playing the mop?"

"Because I'll wipe the floor with you," Gary said, flicking him in the nose. "Smell you later, Ashy-boy!"

 _Ugh,_ Ash thought, rubbing his nose. What a jerk.

But five trainers in a row—could you say _experience,_ friend?

* * *

It didn't take long for Ash to find Nugget Bridge—there was a big sign advertising it.

He ran up and onto the bridge, taking a big breath as he did so.

 _"My name is Ash Ketchum!"_ he bellowed. _"And I'm here to challenge the Bridge!"_

Five trainers down the length looked up.

The nearest stood and stepped forward.

"You'd better give it your best, then," the trainer said, steeling himself.

Ash spun his baseball cap around as Pikachu leapt off his shoulder.

"I'm ready," Ash declared.


	14. Cerulean Gym

**Chapter 14, everybody! In which we get some insight into Misty's home life….Also quote an old commercial too, but I can't remember nor find which one it was. :\**

 **Harmonius Wolf, thanks for the review! Haha, glad you like Frenzy—he's been fun to write. :) Well, since I'm basing Nugget Bridge off of how I remember it in** ** _Fire Red_** **, it may not be as exciting as we would hope….**

 **Hunter Redflame, thanks for the review! Yes, slowly…and yes, most definitely. And yes, not that he'd ever admit it. Aha, yes—I know he grew out of it, but Gary will always be the jerkiest of jerks in my mind. Yes! I'm working on making it more organic in future chapters. Yes…good question—you shall soon see. :) And thank you! I hope to continue to please!**

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! Yes…and yes…and yes. Sorry, Ash. Well, I** ** _am_** **using the Nugget Bridge from** ** _Fire Red,_** **so there's going to be a** ** _lot_** **of trainers with Kakuna and Metapod….**

 **Pokeevee57, thanks for the review! Me too. And me too….Thank you! I hope to continue to please!**

 **Thanks for the review, guest! Eh, I tend to try to keep the chapters at around three pages in Word, because I remember reading somewhere that people reading stories online prefer shorter chapters, so they can read them on a bus or train as they're going somewhere. I'll try to up the word count per chapter in the future, if that helps. :)**

 **Prototron MJ Tornada, thanks for the review! Yes….This is true.**

 **Johnny Spectre, thanks for the review! I suppose so….**

 **Xyoras, thanks for the reviews! You've really given me some things to think about…I especially like the idea of the Rockets selling some of the Pokémon to people who couldn't get their Pokémon from the Professor…have some people sympathetic to the Rockets too and therefore complicate things later on….I have actually not seen/read** ** _Of Mice and Men_** **, so I can't say that for certain, but that** ** _is_** **interesting—I'll have to look it up. :)**

 **Thanks for the review, guest! Mwahaha, yes….**

 **Vismur, thanks for the review! Um….This is true. As is this. Me too….And Darkrai asked me to pass along this message: "I'm no one's nanny, it's just more entertaining to keep stringing him along, and I'm going to give the writer nightmares for mentioning those hugs." Saying that, we'll be mentioning those hugs this chapter. :)**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. This is a required weekly test. You cannot mute this. You cannot ignore this. You must simply endure this annoying noise that makes small Pokémon whine in agony. This has been a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. Had this been a real emergency, we would have gotten the Exploud on the horn.**

The Bridge wasn't as challenging as Ash had been led to believe.

For one, a lot of the trainers used Metapod and Kakuna, so he could safely bolster up his weaker Pokémon—Frenzy especially, considering the Paras' unnatural zeal stunned quite a few trainers into not giving their Pokémon orders at all.

By the fifth trainer's defeat, Frenzy and Lenny had gone up a couple of levels, to the point that Lenny finally learned a move—Tackle.

It was glorious. And the joy it gave Lenny to use it was obvious. Ash was practically walking on air when he reached the end of the bridge.

"Congratulations!" A guy at the end of the bridge said, clapping. "You've beaten the nugget challenge! As your reward—here."

Ash accepted the solid gold sphere—it was about the size of a Pokéball when it was shrunk down, and sparkled nicely, with an NB etched into it. Next time he caught up with Gary—

"Since I have you here," the guy said, startling him out of his reverie. "And since you're obviously such a strong trainer—what do you say to joining Team Rocket?"

Team Rocket? Why did that sound familiar? "I don't know," Ash said slowly. "Could you tell me more about it?"

The man smiled—like he smelled a sucker, Darkrai would say. "Team Rocket is an up-and-coming organization dedicated to the betterment of Kanto," the man explained. "We rescue displaced and abused Pokémon, and have single-handedly reduced the unemployment rate of the region by two-percent."

"Huh," Ash noised, making sure to draw it out. "Hey, I think I _have_ heard of Team Rocket before—I don't suppose you have two, ah, _employees_ by the names of Jessie and James? They have a talking Meowth with them?"

The man's face twitched.

"Sorry, but I don't think Team Rocket is as nice as you say they are," Ash declared. "And I'm going to have to decline your request," he added, using some of the big words he learned from Darkrai.

"I was afraid of that," the man said, pulling two Pokéballs out and releasing their contents—a Golbat and a Tauros. "Say goodbye, kid."

Something big and black dropped down behind the man. **_"'Goodbye, kid.'"_**

And with that, the man, the Golbat, and the Tauros all were out cold.

"I could have taken him," Ash said.

 ** _"The words you're looking for are 'thank you,'"_** Darkrai said testily, tapping his claws. **_"And fine—next time I'll let you get gored."_**

"You're the only Pokémon I know who attacks humans," Ash pointed out. Darkrai's eye twitched. "Not that I don't appreciate it. Anyway, I'm glad you're still speaking to me," Ash continued. "I'm sorry for being a jerk and ignoring you."

 ** _"That brooks no argument."_**

"I get the feeling you've just insulted me."

 ** _"Go with that feeling."_**

Ash spread his arms. "Do I get a forgiveness hug?"

 ** _"Sorry, my hugs are for special occasions only. Stay away from me you crazy human!"_**

* * *

Ash and Darkrai spent the next hour or so exploring around the lake with his Pokémon, searching for a fifth teammate and trying to rack up some more levels.

It was slow going.

"I think it's broken," Ash declared, hitting his Pokédex against the palm of his hand.

 ** _"Stop that,"_** Darkrai scolded. **_"It won't work if you break it."_**

"I want Patches and Lenny to be as high a level as they can before my gym battle, but at the rate we're going—"

 ** _"I'm sorry—don't you have an Electric Pokémon?"_**

"Pika pi," Pikachu added, tugging his pants leg.

"Yeah, but I want it to be a fair fight," Ash argued.

 ** _"A lost cause,"_** Darkrai said to Pikachu, indicating Ash. Pikachu nodded sagely.

"If you're not going to be helpful—"

 ** _"Oh, I plan on being extremely helpful. See over there?"_** Darkrai asked, pointing.

Ash followed his claw to see—

"Trainers."

* * *

Misty waited until ten o' clock. Ten o' clock was when her annoying sisters had their first show. Ten o' clock was when she could sneak in.

So at ten sharp, she snuck in through the back.

 _"Seel?"_ a white Pokémon queried, poking its head out of its tank.

"Shh," she told it, patting its head. "I'm not going to be here long—you never saw me, all right?"

" _Seel,"_ it said, using a flipper to mimic her _shush_ motion.

Misty patted it once more and continued on to the office, not quite tip-toeing, but close. Get in, grab a handful of badges, and get out. That was the plan. Straight to the drawer where they were kept—

The badges were all gone.

Misty couldn't help but gape at the empty drawer. How was this possible? It had been filled with hundreds of badges when she had left! They _couldn't_ have given them _all_ away!

A knock at the back door startled her out of her shock—she dodged under the desk as one of her older sisters, Violet, went to answer it.

"It's about time you got here!" she heard her chide. "We had to delay the show because of how late you are!"

"Sorry," some guy said. "I just started today—"

"And this'll be the _last_ day, too."

Ouch.

The office door slammed.

Oh boy.

Misty held her breath as her sister walked by the desk, opened the badge drawer, and proceeded to open one of two boxes. She watched as the boxful of Cascade badges were unceremoniously dumped into the drawer.

"Violet, was that the badges?" one of her other sisters, Lily, asked.

"Yep," Violet said, picking up the other box. "Come on, let's go—we're late!"

Misty counted to fifty before crawling out from underneath the desk. Two boxes of Cascade badges? That had to be a couple thousand badges at least! How many trainers were challenging the gym?

Misty shook her head and stood, unshouldering her bag and pulling it open. She grabbed a handful of badges and dropped them in.

"Misty?"

Misty shrieked in alarm and spun to see her third sister, Daisy, standing in the doorway, hand on a headset on a side desk. She must have glimpsed her as she ducked in.

"What are you doing?" Daisy asked, eyebrows furrowed. "I thought you said you weren't coming back until—"

"I know what I said!" Misty snapped quietly. "I just needed some badges because I've been having some challengers—"

 _"Ooooh,"_ Daisy noised mockingly. "Do you mean suitors?"

 _"No._ What happened to all the other badges? The drawer was full when I left!"

"We decided to start handing them out at the shows."

 _"What?"_

"What happened to your whispering? I liked you better when you were trying to be quiet."

"How _could_ you?" Misty squawked. "You're giving the Cerulean gym a bad name!"

Daisy shrugged and picked up the headset.

"If you cared so much about it, you shouldn't have left in the first place," Daisy tossed back as she left.

 _That_ hurt. She _did_ care—she left so she could become stronger. She left so she could become a better trainer.

She left because she couldn't stand her sisters.

"Hit me with a half-truth, why don't you," she muttered, grabbing a handful more badges before leaving. She gave Seel an affectionate rub as she walked out.

Once back in the sun, she took a deep breath. She was in, she was out, she was on with life.

Someday, yes, she would come back, and kick all three of her sisters' cans. Tease her for being a tomboy—there was more to being a Pokémon trainer than _looks!_

And what really truly bugged her was that their comments really truly bugged her. She had run away from her sisters, and no amount of convincing was going to change that.

 _Water off a Psyduck's back,_ Brock had commented.

"I wish it were that simple," Misty sighed.

Enough of that—she shook her head and set off.

She had a challenger to find.


	15. Bill

**Chapter 15, everybody! In which we have some fun referencing movies and Bill's garden and his appearance in the games rather than the show….I also reference a Nuzlocke which in turn referenced an apparently crummy Pokémon game port, but since it's been a while, I have no idea what the name of either one is. :\**

 **"** **Everyone say 'push the button!'" comes from one of my Marketing professors, who was really good for zippy-peppy one-liners—my notebook from that class is filled with his quips. Also of note is one of my other Marketing teachers, who was much better at dry sarcastic humor—"Those girls should** ** _not_** **play tennis."**

 **Yami-chan and Unrealistic, thanks for the review! Ah, thank you—I love him too. :) Thank you, glad you like it—and thank you for liking the public service announcements! I have a lot of fun writing those. Glad you like them too—nothing like a little intrigue….Well then, I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Chermayne, thanks for the review! Thank you, glad you liked it! :D**

 **Pokeevee57, thanks for the review! Hopefully this one pleases just as well. :D**

 **Dunkaccino, thanks for the review! I've been there—it's always nice to find that you like a story, and I'm glad you like mine! :D**

 **Pokémon Trainer Chaos, thanks for the review! Yes, this is true….Well, if you feel better, some of the other bullying trainers will be getting their just desserts, so….And I do have something a bit dastardly planned later for the Cerulean Sisters. ;)**

 **Harmonious Wolf, thanks for the review! Yes, those bits are what really stick out in my memory about those girls—no wonder Misty left.**

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! Just a bit—maybe Gary got the Red version, and the ones Ash faced are the backup trainers….Eh, go with scary. Don't worry, we'll be smartening Ash up, and I think the only time he'd do something like** ** _that_** **would be to prove a point (although what that point is, I have no idea). Oh, we'll be getting to them later…revenge is a dish best served cold, don't you know….**

 **Prototron MJ Tornada, thanks for the review! Yes, it will, and maybe. Uh….As I recall, it was actually called** ** _Pokémon: The First Movie_** **…oh wait, now I remember the subtitle:** ** _Mewtwo Strikes Back._** **There you go. :)**

 **XT3100, thanks for the review! I do too—I have a lot of fun writing it. :D**

 **Vismur, thanks for the review! Yes…and yes, and oh yes indeedy. Oh yes—nothing says** ** _back off_** **like big scary Legendary with nightmare powers. :D Ooh, Darkrai hugs….Darkrai: "No." Me too…and that should be in…two chapters, I would think, unless I decide the pacing needs fixing again. Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it! :D**

 **Luktopius, thanks for the reviews! Ironically, I'm writing a section for this story that would have that fit in perfectly—thanks for the suggestion. :D And yes, they've rubbed off on each other….**

 **Ardtornismyname, thanks for the review! Thank you, I'm glad you like it! Most likely—just as soon as I find where I wrote that down in my document scraps….**

 **Hunter Redflame, thanks for the review! Yes, here we are. Don't worry, he'll learn it eventually. Um, yes—poor tertiary one-shot characters. Maybe he'll make another appearance. Yes…and yes, this is true. Thank you! I shall strive to continue to please! :D**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

 ** _The Fly_** **© 1958 Kurt Neumann; 1986 David Cronenberg**

 ** _The Lost World: Jurassic Park_** **© 1997 Steven Spielberg (which also stars Jeff Goldblum)**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **Now showing in theaters— _The Flygon_. Starring Vincent Brycen, Jeff Gold, and Vanessa Carnet, and telling the horrifying tale of science gone wrong! A brilliant scientist experimenting with a transportation device for Pokémon ends up fused with one! Will he be able to return to normal, or will he be forced to live as the horror he's slowly becoming? Get your tickets now for this classic movie's return to theaters! Brought to you by Fangdango—where the sight of a Raticate is a good thing!**

The trainers did Lenny and Frenzy good, but after a while, Ash had to switch to Pikachu and Patches—Lenny, at the very least, was getting tired.

Frenzy had even boggled Darkrai, who had snapped his claws in front of Frenzy's face before repeating what Nurse Joy had said about that being "normal behavior for a Paras."

That had bugged Ash a little, but he shrugged it off. Nurse Joy may have been a professional, but Darkrai was a Pokémon—he would know about normal Pokémon behavior.

They had reached the end of the route, where one of the trainers had said a guy named Bill lived—apparently, he had a lot of rare Pokémon, and loved showing them off. Perfect for filling out the Pokédex. Darkrai appeared at Ash's side again as Ash left the last of the trainers behind and walked past a mailbox stuffed full of mail, up a weedy path through an overgrown yard, and to the house where Bill supposedly lived.

Ash knocked on the door, stepped back, waited. Knocked again.

Nothing.

 ** _"When this kid mentioned this Bill character, did he mention if he was still alive?"_** Darkrai asked, looking around.

"Maybe he's on vacation," Ash noised, looking at the pile of newspapers on the front stoop. A Pidgey dropped down, deposited another newspaper, and flew off.

Darkrai made a dismissive noise and flipped over the welcome mat.

"What are you doing?" Ash asked.

 ** _"Oh look at this—a key. And so conveniently placed."_**

"That's breaking and entering."

 ** _"Only if you break something."_**

Now it was Ash's turn to make the dismissive noise. He tried the door.

It opened without the key.

"Oh…kay…." Ash noised. Then, louder, "Hello?"

Darkrai glanced around before drifting in.

"Darkrai, what are you doing?" Ash hissed.

 ** _"Being nosy—what does it look like?"_** Darkrai asked.

Ash sighed before following him in, slipping slightly on the papers scattered everywhere.

It was a well-lit, cluttered room with drawn curtains, with boxes stacked on boxes stacked on books and a lot of electronic junk scattered about and lining the walls. The approximate center—where Ash and Darkrai were now standing—was probably the cleanest area, with a dusting of papers.

 ** _"Needs 'Merry Mimes,'"_** Darkrai observed.

"Definitely," Ash agreed.

"Hello!"

They both looked down sharply at the new voice—a Clefairy was standing in front of them.

 ** _"I thought we were rid of those things,"_** Darkrai moaned. **_"They're a curse, I swear."_**

"Uh, did that one just talk?" Ash asked, pointing. "As in English?"

"Yeah!" the Clefairy said. "My name's Bill—I own this house."

 ** _"The trainer told you to meet a Pokémon?"_** Darkrai asked.

"Pokémon can own houses?" Ash asked, equally confused.

"No!" the Clefairy named Bill said, hopping up and down. "I'm human—honest! It's just—I was experimenting with a new upgrade to the Poké-transfer system—that's the system that you use when you have more than six Pokémon and have to 'box' one—and I got trapped and spliced with one of my Pokémon!"

 ** _"Sounds like that Vincent Brycen movie,"_** Darkrai observed.

"Wait—you got turned into a Pokémon?" Ash asked.

"Slow, isn't he?" Bill asked Darkrai.

 ** _"You have no idea,"_** Darkrai said, nodding sagely.

Ash, meanwhile, was too busy pointing excitedly at Bill and practically yelling at Darkrai. _"See? See? My life goal of being a Pokémon doesn't sound so silly now, does it?"_

 ** _"You missed the part where this was an accident."_**

"Anyway," Bill interposed, waving frantically. "If one of you would be a pal—wait until I get back in the transfer device and then hit F7—that should reverse it and allow me to get back to normal."

 ** _"Why didn't you do it yourself?"_**

"There's not a delayed reaction to it—"

 ** _"Then how did it happen the first time?"_**

"Must you be difficult?"

 ** _"It's my favorite hobby."_**

"I've got it," Ash said, standing by the keyboard. "It's this, right?"

"Yes, perfect," Bill said, hopping into an open metal closet. "I don't suppose you could close the do—"

Darkrai slammed it in his face.

"That's mean," Ash observed.

 ** _"I have an aversion to pink,"_** Darkrai explained. **_"How about we leave him in there and get out of here?"_**

"Hey, we've got to help," Ash argued. "Ready? 'Everybody say _push the button!'"_

 ** _"'Push the button,'"_** Darkrai repeated dully. Pikachu said something with more zeal.

Ash pushed the button.

"It _was_ F7, right?" Ash asked.

 ** _"You'd better hope so at this point."_**

There was a _ding_ , like that of an oven, and then knocking from the metal closet.

"Hello?" Bill asked. "Letting me out would be nice!"

Ash went over and opened the door when it was clear that Darkrai wasn't going to do so.

A man with unruly orange hair stepped out.

"Oh thank goodness—no more pink," the man who must have been Bill declared, patting himself down. "I'm telling you, it was starting to get really freaky—I spent all last night standing in the moonlight doing absolutely _nothing_ —I didn't like it." He shivered. "So! How can I ever repay you?"

"For pushing a button?" Ash asked blankly.

"It was more than I was able to do—I know! How about I give you a Pokémon? Two of my Eeveeloutions had an egg that hatched recently—"

"Hey, that's why I came! Some kid said you had a lot of cool Pokémon that you liked to show off."

"Sure! Right over here." Bill led him to a back door and opened it. "See? There's Vaporeon, and Flareon, and Jolteon—there's Umbreon and Espeon—they're from Johto—that's a Leafeon—they're native to Sinnoh, but a friend of mine sent me one—and that's Glaceon—they're also from Sinnoh—and that's Sylveon—one of those new Fairy types—from Kalos—and that's a Haxorus from Unova—it's a shiny—that's just a regular Pikachu there, but it fell into a vat of dye at a factory and now everyone thinks it's some alternate evolution—that there's a Dragonite—"

"How come some of these aren't showing up?" Ash asked, hitting his Pokédex again.

"Don't do that with the tech—it'll work when you baby it."

"I'll baby it when it works."

"Some of them won't show up unless you have the National Pokédex—you just have the Kanto Regional one, don't you?"

"I don't know—I just started last week—"

"Then it's definitely just Regional. Oh! Here," Bill said, going to a shelf filled with Pokéballs and selecting one. "I told you I'd give you one—this is an Eevee—now you've seen the whole Eevee set!"

"Awesome!" Ash said, looking into the translucent red top—there was a little brown fox-like Pokémon looking up at him.

"And here," Bill said, picking up a few slips of paper. "I got tickets to the party cruise the S.S. Anne is hosting in a few weeks, but I don't care much for boats—you can have this."

"Wow, thanks!" Ash exclaimed, accepting the tickets and examining them.

Bill, meanwhile, was examining Darkrai, who in turn was examining the metal closets. "Say, what kind of Pokémon is that, anyway? I _know_ it's not native to Kanto."

Ash looked over. "That's Darkrai—he's a friend of mine."

"Darkrai?" Bill repeated, looking pensive. "Say, I think I may have heard of him—he's part of the Lunar Duo over in Sinnoh—"

 ** _"What happened to the Clefairy?"_** Darkrai asked suddenly.

"Huh?"

Darkrai pointed. **_"You got fused with a Clefairy, right? So when you got un-fused, shouldn't the Clefairy have been in this one?"_**

Bill looked concerned as he went over and opened the second metal closet. "Huh."

"Wow," Ash noised. "It _is_ like the Brycen movie."

"I'd feel a lot better if I hadn't seen that movie," Bill muttered.

"So how do we check to make sure that didn't happen?"

"I don't know—I could run some tests—"

 ** _"I could hit you with a Dark-type move and see if it's ineffective,"_** Darkrai offered.

"I'd rather you didn't, thanks."

"Hey, _you_ could use a move," Ash suggested. "Then we can see if it works or not."

Bill considered this before wagging his fingers back and forth.

They stood still for a few moments.

 ** _"And that was?"_** Darkrai asked.

"It was _supposed_ to be Metronome," Bill said, frowning slightly. "I guess I'm safe…."

"Or it turned into Splash," Ash suggested.

"I suppose that's a possibility too."

Darkrai tapped Ash's shoulder. **_"We should go,"_** he said in an undertone.

"Why?" Ash asked.

 ** _"Don't you have a previous engagement?"_**

"Huh?"

Then it registered. " _Aah! What time is it?"_ Ash asked frantically.

"Uh, it's…nearly noon," Bill said, glancing at a wall clock. "Don't you have a watch?"

"I've got to go—thanks!" Ash called, bolting for the door.

"Don't mention it!" Bill called after him.

 ** _"We won't,"_** Darkrai muttered, following.

* * *

Bill gave it some consideration before trying again.

"I'm being silly," he muttered, waggling his fingers.

* * *

 ** _"Hold it,"_** Darkrai chided, catching Ash by the collar before he tripped over a rock. **_"It's not like she's going to battle you with your party exhausted—it's poor form, or some other bunk like that."_**

"True," Ash said, unshouldering his backpack. "I think I have some Oran cakes in here—"

 ** _"You have what?"_**

"Oran cakes—Brock made them," Ash explained, holding one out. "Here, try one."

Darkrai examined the flat blue cake. **_"It looks like dried Oran berries squashed together."_**

"I think that might be what they are."

 ** _"Brilliant, Holmes,"_** Darkrai said, taking a nibble.

Ash tried very hard not to laugh at his expression.

"Let me guess: they're good."

 ** _"Passable,"_** Darkrai countered, tucking it into his collar for later. **_"So who's the new kid?"_**

"Oh!" Ash checked his Pokédex. "Eevee, male, has the Ability Run Away, Level 7, and knows Tackle, Tail Whip, and Helping Hand."

 ** _"Peh."_**

"Oh, right—'don't be so dependent on others.'"

 ** _"He listens—that's scary."_**

"Hey, you give me grief if I don—"

Bill's house exploded.

They froze; did a slow turn.

"I guess he tried Metronome again," Ash said finally.

 ** _"Let's just walk away,"_** Darkrai suggested slowly, prodding Ash and redirecting him. " ** _And pretend that this never happened. We must never speak of this again."_**


	16. Legends Who Lunch

**Chapter 16, everybody! In which Ash battles Misty for the Cerulean Gym Badge….**

 **To be fair, I expected the fairly polarized reactions to the last chapter—when I first wrote it out, it struck me as funny, as it did for some of you; however, rereading it before posting it, and I could understand why people kept saying it struck them as dark. On the positive side, while funny if taken a certain way, it is still a good example of the effect Darkrai is having on Ash. And as a few people pointed out, it is plausible that Bill survived that, as humans have been shown to be more resilient in the Pokémon world and Bill had been fused with a Pokémon…so until the story demands otherwise, Bill is now playing the part of Schrodinger's Cat—er, Meowth.**

 **Pokeevee57, thanks for the review! Glad you found it funny, and I hope to continue to please! :)**

 **Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! Well, in the show, apparently get stuck in Kabuto costumes, attract giant Dragonite, and have Mewtwo on the door décor long before Mewtwo even existed in the show (which gave me a little idea that I'll be implementing). Good question….And also a good question. We simply don't know, as it was never answered in the game either….**

 **Luktopius, thanks for the review! Oh dear….**

 **Hunter Redflame, thanks for the review! Yes…and yes…and…well….To be fair, Darkrai wasn't expecting anyone to be home, and once the thing with Bill got going, he just decided to roll with it. Yes, that does seem a tad odd…and yes, never use Metronome in the house. Thank you, I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Harmonious Wolf, thanks for the review! Me neither…and good question—I still don't know….**

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! Yes…and if at some point Ash ever gets a Golisopod, he'll be naming it Brundle (compare Brundlefly to Golisopod—the general body structure is strangely alike). Yes, one can only hope….**

 **Ultima-owner, thanks for the review! Yes….**

 **Johnny Spectre, thanks for the review! This is true.**

 **Pokémon Trainer Chaos, thanks for the review! Maybe….And good question—and interesting observations. Maybe that'll be clarified at a later date. Eh, to be fair, the Eevee that Bill gave Ash was the only one in its ball—the others that Bill owned were in the garden behind the house (not to say they weren't singed, so…and maybe Vaporeon doused the house. Hmmm…).**

 **Thanks for the review, Guest! Yes, I knew it was cliché when I wrote it, but I figure it's a thing in the games; glad to see you liked how it was handled, though. :) And that's a good suggestion—I think I'll stick with that for now, seeing as how I have no idea which one Eevee will evolve into at the moment. Eh, I'm working on fixing the chapter length, but glad to know it entertains in the meantime. :)**

 **Foreman88, thanks for the review! Thank you, glad you like the mix! I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Ardtornismyname, thanks for the review! Soon….Something appropriately ironic, hopefully….**

 **Unrealistic, thanks for the review! Yes….Oh, I wasn't aware you could get a Rare Candy at Bill's—probably for the best that Ash didn't get it. Thank you, glad you like it, and I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

 ** _The Twilight Zone_** **© 1959 Rod Starling ( _The Distortion Zone)_**

 ** _Calvin and_ Hobbes ****© 1985 Bill Watterson (a little conversation between Calvin and Hobbes gets referenced here)**

 ** _Freakazoid!_** **© 1995 Paul Dini & Bruce Timm (the chapter title)**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **You have stumbled into an alternate dimension. Of sight, of sound—listen to your voice echo in the empty wasteland. Watch as it reforms around you. Behold, terrible things come to life. There's your signpost, dead ahead—you have now entered _The Distortion Zone._**

"What do you mean, you're leaving?"

Oi.

To be honest, Darkrai had been expecting this reaction to his announcement. Cue the peppering of questions.

 ** _"Look,"_** he said, deciding to head this off preemptively. **_"I've been planning this for a while—a Pokémon is entitled to a vacation too, don't you know. And besides, you've got other people to bother now."_**

Ah, apparently that was the wrong thing to say—the kid looked _worse_ now.

"It's because of me, isn't it," the kid muttered.

 ** _"Don't flatter yourself—it's…no, I can't tell you—it's too important to share with a blabbermouth like you."_**

Bingo—back to annoyingly perky. "What? What is it? You can tell me! I won't tell anyone!"

 _"I won't either,"_ the yellow rat said, into it now. " _What is it?"_

 ** _"I can't tell you,"_** Darkrai maintained. **_"It's a secret."_**

"This isn't going to be like when I asked you to explain girls to me, is it?"

 ** _"I knew then you weren't ready."_**

"Aw, come _on_ —no one reacts positively to being told that _snoogy-woogy-wips_ is one of those _love_ things."

 ** _"Wait until you get older and hormones kick in."_**

The kid frowned at that. "So…you're leaving because you have a girlfriend?"

 ** _"Actually, it's a super-secret meeting of Legendaries."_**

 _"Really?"_

 ** _"Oh yes—we had to suspend them for a few years because Groundon and Kyogre got ahold of some bad berry juice and caused El Nino out of season. You should have seen the snow."_**

A complete lie, but the kid bought it hook line and sinker. And he was most certainly _not_ going to tell him the real reason he was going.

"At least stay to watch my battle with Misty."

He actually had to leave _now_ , to time it right.

 ** _"Fine, fine,"_** he sighed, when the kid started with the puppy-Growlithe eyes. **_"But only if you get it done today—if you waffle and delay it any longer, I'm gone."_**

"You got it."

* * *

Ash ran for the Nugget Bridge as fast as he could, motivated—just show Darkrai how good he was, and maybe he wouldn't leave.

Why would he leave?

Forget it—right now, he had to run for the Pokémon Center and then find Misty—

"Woah, where's the fire?"

"Oh hi Brock bye Brock—"

Brock caught him by his shirt collar and picked him up, causing him to pinwheel a bit before accepting his lack of forward momentum.

Brock right then reminded Ash of Darkrai, uncannily enough, except for the fact that Brock wasn't nearly as caustic.

"So where are you off to in such a hurry?" Brock asked. "I was coming out here to find you—I've got some new recipes I want to try out."

"But I have to get to the Pokémon Center and find Misty—"

"Did Nurse Joy give your Pokémon a clean bill of health?"

"Yes—"

"Did they get injured?"

"Not really; just tired."

"Then lunch will fix them right up," Brock said, putting Ash back on the ground. "And it'll fix you up too. Besides, if _you_ go running around looking for Misty, and _she's_ running around looking for you, you'll keep missing each other."

Ash had to admit the wisdom of that. "So what's for lunch?" he asked, following Brock over to a clearing by a large cliff.

"I was thinking tacos—I've got some Tamato berries I want to try—"

* * *

Ash decided that with the possible exception of his mom, Brock was the best cook he had ever encountered.

His Pokémon were of the same opinion, although Frenzy was still peculiar. Brock had made up some special Poké-chow with Oran, Sitrus, Leppa, and Lum berries, and was now trying various other berries to find their favorites. Brock was right—lunch was doing wonders.

Pikachu had stolen the ketchup bottle a while back, and Ash was filling Brock in on his team's progress as he tried to chase Pikachu down. He omitted Darkrai and the experience at Bill's house, instead saying that a trainer had given him an Eevee and some _S.S. Anne_ tickets.

"I've heard of the _S.S. Anne_ ," Brock said, stirring a pot. "It travels around the world visiting regions—except Orre. A cruise ship hasn't gone near Orre since the _S.S. Libra_ vanished near there."

"How does a cruise ship just vanish?" Ash asked.

"No clue."

 _"This_ cruise ship won't vanish, will it?"

"It'll leave Kanto and go on to Johto, so sort of."

"I meant in the mysterious, _Distortion Zone_ sort of way."

"What's a kid like you doing hearing about a show like that?"

Darkrai liked it—but then again, it gave Ash nightmares, so that may have been _why_ he liked it.

 _"Ash Ketchum!"_

Ash and Brock looked over to see Misty, standing and pointing dramatically, panting.

"I have looked all over Cerulean to find you," she declared between gasps. "I went to a lot of trouble for this, so you'd better give me a gym challenge to remember!"

* * *

Ash and Misty stood at opposite ends of one of the lakes, Brock equidistant from them both, acting as referee.

"This will be a two-on-two gym battle!" Brock announced. "The challenger is allowed to make substitutions. The challenge will end when either the challenger or the leader runs out of usable Pokémon. Are you ready?"

"Ready!" Misty called.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Ash said, twisting his hat around. He was shaking—he hadn't been this nervous fighting Brock!

But Brock hadn't entered the match knowing what he was up against.

Pikachu and Frenzy were both out—he hadn't wanted to use an unfair advantage, not against someone he considered a friend, but that only left Patches, Lenny, and the new Eevee.

But he knew what to do.

"Go Staryu!" Misty called, throwing a ball out and releasing a brown starfish with a red gem set in the center.

"Go, Lenny!" Ash yelled, throwing out Lenny's ball.

" _Karp!"_ Lenny declared, hitting the water.

"You're opening with _Lenny?"_ Misty asked.

"We've been practicing," Ash declared.

Misty shrugged. "All right, you asked for it— _get him, Staryu!"_

* * *

Darkrai watched from the cliff, reclining and enjoying the show—so the idiot _did_ decide to go the chivalrous route. This would be fun to tease him about later. Especially after the denial back in Viridian— _oh, you just went easy on her because you like her._ Ah, the jabs to be done….

At least he wouldn't be delayed for too long. A Magikarp? Seriously?

Especially when that Staryu apparently knew Thunder. Direct hit—ouch.

And then the fish used Flail.

He scored a direct hit, dove under the water, and finished off the Staryu with Tackle.

Darkrai couldn't help but blink. That was…unexpected.

Apparently, the girl thought so too. She recovered quickly though, throwing out her second Pokémon as the rock guy called it. The Goldeen knocked the fish out quickly, forcing Ash to send out his second Pokémon.

 ** _"Ugh, you moron,"_** Darkrai groaned, flopping backwards.

* * *

"I don't believe you!" Misty called. "You had Pikachu sitting _right there,_ and you pick _Patches?"_

"Are you complaining?" Ash asked.

"I feel as though you aren't taking this seriously."

"I'm taking this very seriously. Don't I look serious?" Ash asked Brock.

Brock looked to Pikachu. "What do you think?" he asked.

"Pika," Pikachu said, looking from Brock to Ash but pointing at Brock.

"I agree," Brock said. Then, to Ash: "My serious face is better."

Misty shook her head. "Fine, you asked for it," she declared. "Goldeen, Dive!"

"Okay, like we discussed," Ash muttered. "Keep moving."

Patches paced back and forth by the water's edge. It was an effort to give the Goldeen a moving target.

Ash knew that Darkrai, Misty and Brock all thought he was being an idiot, but to be honest, he couldn't take advantage of Pikachu or Frenzy in this match. He couldn't do that to a friend.

"Goldeen, now!"

"Brace yourself!"

Goldeen shot out of the water, Patches dug into the ground—

 _"Horn attack!"_ Ash yelled.

Patches locked horns with Goldeen, used its momentum to flip it over his back, and then Double Kicked it on its way to the ground. Goldeen hit the ground, started flopping frantically to get back to the water—stopped when it saw Patches plant himself between it and the water.

Ash glanced at Misty, who was obviously weighing her options. Any water attacks would dry Goldeen out, and it couldn't survive in a dry environment for very long. Any physical attacks without water to rinse out the wounds would run the risk of Patches' Poison Point.

"Use Swift, Goldeen!" Misty yelled. "Get back to the water while it's distracted!"

Ash didn't order Patches to dodge—Swift never missed. "Take it and use Poison Sting!"

Patches did so, tucking his head between his forelegs to protect his face before bristling his spikes and shooting poisonous darts at the retreating Goldeen.

Goldeen's flopping immediately weakened—it was poisoned, and it wouldn't make it back to the water before it fainted.

Misty knew this as well, considering she already had her Pokéball out. "Goldeen, return."

Goldeen vanished in a flare of red light. Brock, meanwhile, made a surprised noise before raising an arm.

"Goldeen is unable to battle," he declared. "And the winner of the match is: Ash Ketchum!"

"Awesome job, Patches!" Ash exclaimed, coming over to kneel next to the Nidoran. Patches ears twitched—maybe he was hoping for more chips.

Movement in his peripheral vision made him look up, then stand when he realized Misty was standing there with something in her hand.

"Well, I guess you actually earned this," Misty sighed, handing Ash a Cascade badge. "I think you're the only one with one who _did._ "

"Awesome," Ash said, accepting the badge. "Hold on a sec."

He leapt up into the air, badge held high. " _I won a Cascade Badge!"_ he hollered as loudly as he could.

"You want to say that louder?" Misty asked. "I don't think they heard you in Johto. Rub it in, why don't you?"

Oops—he had done it so Darkrai could see. Yeah, that had come off as really bratty. "Sorry," Ash muttered, rubbing the back of his head. "I was excited—I seriously didn't think I'd win."

Misty blinked. "Well, yeah—you should have went with Pikachu."

"I figured you were expecting him, so…."

"Whatever," Misty said, waving him off and walking away.

Brock followed, tapping Ash's arm. "I think she likes you."

Yup—Brock very much reminded him of Darkrai. Speaking of….

Ash looked back to the cliffs in time to see a dark blot shoot off into the sky, stark against the sunset.

Ash smiled, feeling bittersweet. It was a start, at least.

And he'd come back.

He hoped.


	17. Setting Off

**Chapter 17, everybody! Which is the longest chapter to date and actually involves a few ideas that some of you lovely reviewers brought up, and for that I thank you. :)**

 **The Rattata's name here is a reference to one of my college buddies' _Pokémon Red_ emulator run** **—he couldn't remember the name of the main rat in _Ratatouille,_ so he just called it "Lil' Chef." And James is quoting Bill Cosby here while the grunt is quoting Stan Shunpike from the movie version of _Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban._ In other news, writing Meowth's accent is a pain in the patoose, and the anime route does not sensibly lay itself over the game route, so some fudging is involved.**

 **Beautiful-Liar13, thanks for the review! Thank you, glad you like it so far! I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Moonymonster, thanks for the reviews! Ah, unfortunately no, but I'm glad you like the premise. :D**

 **Pokémon Trainer Chaos, thanks for the longest review I think I've gotten on this story so far. Good points….I would love that link, if it's not too much to ask—I've been trying to research Pokémon urban legends and the like for this story, so any suggestions or links are welcome (except for creepypasta, only because it tends to come back at me at night D: ). I like that! And here I thought the "Bill working for Team Rocket" thing came out of left field. Ooh yes, Darkrai versus Mewtwo will be epic. Eh, Darkrai probably interrupted before Ash could get to that point, and Ash would probably feel rotten about that anyway. This is true. And maybe I shall….The nuclear fission and extreme gravity attacks sound interesting, but I'm not sure how I'd work that into this story—although I do agree with you about breaking the typing barrier. Well, I hope this one pleases! :D**

 **Pokeevee57, thanks for the review! Yes, come back here Darkrai! Who will keep Ash from running off a cliff if you're not around? Good question….Thank you, glad you liked it! :D**

 **Luktopius, thanks for the review! Good question….**

 **Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! Good question….Also a good question. When I rewatched a few of the Indigo League episodes, it seemed that Ash had some idea of what his Pokémon were thinking (and was pretty good at thinking out of the box), but it seems that like most of Ash's abilities, it's spotty at best. I think the moves are a little like other aspects of the anime, in that depending upon the demands of the plot, the moves will behave differently. And that—is an excellent question….**

 **Harmonious Wolf, thanks for the review! Good question—when I rewatched the first handful of episodes, I didn't really see anything that would make Pikachu like Misty any more than Ash, especially with Ash saving Pikachu's life, basically. With this story, being that it lacks Ash and Pikachu's major bonding moment, I'd say yes, Pikachu would have refused to battle, despite agreeing with Darkrai on Ash's stance—because if whatever Misty and/or Ash did in canon was enough for Pikachu to refuse to battle, it would have been enough here. Thank you, glad you liked it! Also glad I actually wrote it out instead of going with my initial cop-out of skipping ahead to the badge….**

 **Calzifer, thanks for the reviews! Wow! Glad you like my sense of humor, and sorry about the roommate. ^^; Yes, well, in this version of the Pokémon world, the food chain is a thing—and seeing as how Pikachu is a mouse and therefore prey….Which version? I just looked it up, and there's a few different songs titled that (listening to the one by Mike Oldfield, and I don't think that's it, despite being strangely appropriate). No I didn't, but I looked it up after you mentioned it—unfortunately, I don't make it a habit to read rated M stories ^^; (although I did recently read** ** _Child's Play_** **, which would also welcome Frenzy with open arms). That would be interesting….**

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! I asked, and apparently he needed a break. Yes, this is true…maybe being Darkrai-less for a bit will convince him. And that is a very good point—I'll try to work that in at some point.**

 **Prototron MJ Tornada, thanks for the review! And I quote Darkrai:** ** _Make me!_** **Yes, we need to work on that….**

 **Vismur, thanks for the review! Yes, weird science! And Pokémon for a Pokémon scientist! Yes, Eevee! Now what to do with it….Temporarily…and maybe. Yes! This is either really good or really bad….**

 **Yami-chan and Unrealistic, thanks for the review! Yes, well…apparently Bill was** ** _very_** **freaked out about being a Clefairy. Yes! And with Lenny! Well….Haha, glad you liked the reference. :D Me too—but he'll be back. ;)**

 **Ardistornismyname, thanks for the review! Good question! *looks at document* Maybe next chapter….**

 **Gust, thanks for the review! *long pause* Darkrai: "Ash, I am your father." Ash: "So I'm really half-Darkrai? Cool!" Darkrai: "That didn't pan out like I had hoped."**

 **Ma name Jeff, thanks for the review! Either you're the same reviewer as above, or I unintentionally channeled Darth Vader when writing Darkrai (which is interesting, as I haven't really seen any of the** ** _Star Wars_** **movies…).**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

 ** _Ratatouille_** **© 2007 Pixar**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **From the creators of _Wreck-It Rypherior_ and _The Little Primarina_ — _Rattatatouille,_ the story of a little Alolan Rattata who dreams of becoming a chef in Kalos. Can he achieve his dream? Perhaps with the help of his trainer, with whom he shares a special bond….**

As they departed Cerulean the next morning, Ash let out his newest team member.

" _Eee Eevee!"_ the little Eevee exclaimed.

"Hi," Ash said, kneeling in front of it. "So we're going to be travelling together for a while—do you want to walk? I can't imagine the inside of one of these not being a little cramped," he observed, holding the Pokéball up.

" _Eee."_

"Okay….Do you want a nickname?"

" _Eee Eevee!"_ the Eevee said, nodding.

"Okay, great! What would be a good nickname…."

" _Vee Vee Vee!"_

"Vee?"

 _"Eee!"_ more nodding.

"Okay then," Ash said, scratching his head as he stood up. Beeping alerted him to the fact that the Pokédex had registered the new nickname. Well…here was hoping the Eevee actually _liked_ the name Vee and that it really wasn't saying something that just sounded like _vee_ to his non-Pokémon ears.

"I have to admit, I like Vee a lot more than Frenzy," Misty observed as they resumed travelling.

"You like anything more than Frenzy," Ash said, watching as Vee chatted with Pikachu.

"True…."

Their conversation seemed very animated—Ash wondered what they were talking about.

* * *

 _"So this is a journey, huh?"_ Vee asked, looking around. _"I've never been on a journey before—always wanted to, though. It's going to be so cool seeing new things and meeting new 'mons! I hope I evolve—I don't know which Eeveeloution I want, though. I'll have to think about it."_

Pikachu wondered if he had taken a breath during any of that. _"Well, it's got its perks, sure…."_

 _"Yeah! And I'll be able to learn all sorts of new moves and see other places—I've heard about a lot of Kanto, but there's a difference between hearing about it and seeing it, you know?"_

 _"Er…."_

 _"Sorry, I'm rambling—the other Pokémon at Bill's kind of ignored me after a while. You can too, if it makes you feel better—I don't mind."_

Okay, that was kind of sucky, and a bit of a low blow, to be honest. _"I don't mind,"_ Pikachu said. _"It's just—we've got a lot of travelling up ahead, so maybe you ought to think about pacing yourself."_

 _"Yeah, you're right,"_ Vee admitted. _"I'm just excited, you know? I bet you were really excited when you first started too, right?"_

Oh, _Heliolisk_ no. Pikachu had hated Ash right from the start, and Oak for "giving" him to Ash—he wasn't a toy to be passed around! And then that big black blot Darkrai basically threatening him into sticking around….Boy, he was glad he was at that so-called convention.

 _But what about now?_ a little voice deep in his soul asked.

Now…now he was actually having a grand old time. Ash wasn't like other trainers, who just ran their Pokémon into the ground and didn't care about them. Ash was…dare he say it? Kind of… _nice._

 _"Not at first,"_ Pikachu said, when he realized that Vee was still waiting for an answer. " _But…it grows on you."_

Vee nodded excitedly. _"That's what I thought. Man, this is going to be great!"_

Pikachu was glad at least one of them was excited about all this. But without Darkrai around, at least he could relax a bit.

His ears twitched at that—he knew a lie when he heard one.

He wondered what Darkrai was _really_ up to.

* * *

Darkrai sped towards his destination, pausing only to rest on Cinnabar Island to regain his strength. He had really been pushing it, but he felt confident he could make it to Sinnoh by the new moon.

He couldn't help but scowl, chewing the inside of his cheek as he did so. It had been a plan quickly formed, and ridiculously Buneary-brained—but that stupid encounter with those stupid pink puffballs just _wouldn't leave him alone._ He had to do _something_ , if for nothing else to get some peace of mind.

He sighed, standing back up. He had to get going.

He sped over the ocean as the moon dipped towards the horizon.

* * *

Team Rocket was hitting a few snags in their Darkrai hunt.

The simple, aggravating fact of the matter was that the trail went cold outside of Cerulean. Meticulous searching of the surrounding area simply turned up no more sightings. It was like it up and vanished into thin air.

It was frustrating, to say the least.

Eventually, they were forced to admit temporary defeat and retreat to the Rocket hideout situated near Cerulean. The old abandoned power plant up in the hills that had been forgone in favor of a newer compact setup closer to town—trainers occasionally went up there to investigate rumors that Zapdos lived there.

If they did, Meowth had never noticed—the only things up here were the occasional Magnemite, the not-so-occasional Voltorb and Electrode (specially bred and planted by Team Rocket), and the Rocket grunts stationed at the plant.

"We were having to come back here anyway," James said once they were safely inside. "I want to look Darkrai up in the Rocket database—maybe see if we haven't got an inter-regional database we can work with."

"I don't think Team Rocket has a national database yet," Jessie said—

Any further conversation was cut off by a bright light in their eyes.

"Halt!" a rough voice demanded. "Who goes there?"

"We're the girl scouts selling cookies," Jessie snapped, hands up to shield her eyes, Meowth was sure—right now, he was too busy rubbing the flash from his eyes. "Who do you _think? Did you miss the big red R on our shirts?"_

"'I'll give you a red R and a black I if you don't get out of that phone booth,'" James quoted under his breath. Not now, James….

"Oh, it's _you three,"_ the grunt said, lowering his flashlight and managing to make _you three_ sound like an unforgivable insult. "The boss has been asking after you."

That—made all three of them freeze. The boss asking for them was most likely not good news.

"Uh," James noised.

"Might want to get a bit more articulate before you get on the horn with him," the grunt said, waving his flashlight in a _follow-me_ motion. "Come on, let's not wait for the grass to grow."

They followed in mincing manner, not liking the idea of _getting on the horn_ with the boss. The boss was scary. The boss _had_ to be scary, to be the boss of Team Rocket.

It took Meowth a few moments to realize there was a Rattata following on the heels of the grunt they were following. It smiled at him when he noticed it.

 _"So,"_ it asked. _"How's things going as far as catching the big scary thing?"_

Oh. _Oh_ —this must have been one of the Pokémon from Route One! "Pretty good," Meowth told it quietly, glancing up at the humans. "We got a name now to go with da face, and some Clefairy have been nice enough to help."

 _"Awesome,"_ the Rattata said, looking forward again. _"I'm real excited about helping Team Rocket—it just feels right, you know?"_

Meowth did. Except for right now, when he felt like he was about to hack up a hairball. Oh please, not in front of the boss….

His nose twitched as he caught a whiff of something familiar.

"Hey!" he exclaimed, throwing his paws out—not that he'd do much to actually physically stop Jessie or James, but they skidded to a halt just the same. "Dat smell—dat ting! Darkrai! It's here!" Wait—then why wasn't the Rattata reacting?

Meowth looked at it to see it shaking its head.

The grunt, meanwhile, was looking at him like he was crazy. "Do what?"

Before Meowth could respond, the Rattata was putting a paw on his.

 _"This way,"_ it said with a jerk of its head, and dashed off down the side hall. Meowth ran after it, followed by Jessie and James.

"Hey!" the grunt yelled, chasing after them. "Your doom is _this_ way!"

The Rattata skidded to a halt in one of the rooms that had been redone as a sort-of infirmary-slash-Pokémon-Center, pointed at one of the beds before indicating two of the Poké-stretchers. That was where the smell was coming from.

"Oh, that," the grunt said, alerting Meowth to the fact that the humans had caught up with them; he turned to see Jessie and James putting their Pokéballs away. "We lost radio contact with Bill, and our grunts picked this guy up on the way there. You know the nugget bridge scam we had going?"

"We lost Bill?" James asked, looking at him. "PC Bill? That one?"

"Do you know another that lives near Cerulean? Yes, that Bill—and we still don't know what happened to him because what happened to _this_ guy spooked the living daylights out of the grunts sent to check on him. Out like a light and won't wake up for nothing!"

"See, that's the thing—we were on this super-special mission chasing after this Pokémon called Darkrai—"

Meowth ignored the humans for a moment in favor of examining the Pokémon suffering from this strange ailment. A Tauros and a Golbat, both down for the count, both twitching and whining in their sleep, but not waking up at all.

 _"They've been like this for over a day now,"_ the Rattata said. _"Some of us are getting worried."_

"Understandable," Meowth said, glancing at the Rattata. "I didn't get your name."

The Rattata smirked. _"Eh…my new trainer kind of gave me a nickname—Little Chef? Said I reminded him of a show he used to watch."_

 _"Rattatatouille,"_ Meowth supplied. "Not a bad pick. How's everyone else shoring up? Barring this," he added, waving a paw at the unconscious trio.

 _"Mostly doing well, but some of the trainers are talking about giving some of us away—something about not having the temperament for their standards,"_ the Rattata said, whiskers drooping.

"I think I have an idea of what they mean," Meowth said, scratching his face. "You mind seeing me over dere real quick? I don't tink they're done over dere," he added, indicating Jessie, James, and the Rattata's grunt.

 _"No problem—this way!"_ the Rattata said, darting for another door. Meowth ran after it, figuring that the Rattata's natural preference for twisting warrens made the plant easy for it to navigate. They were in another room a few moments later.

"Oh, I know dis," Meowth said, looking the notations on the cages over. "Hey, everyone!"

 _"Oh, it's you!"_ a Pidgey said.

 _"Quick, get us out of here!"_ a Spearow ordered.

 _"Yeah! They're getting rid of us!"_ a Rattata said.

"No, no, no, you got it all wrong!" Meowth said quickly, waving his paws. "See, you went through an orientation sort of ting when you got here, right?" When most of them were nodding: "Right. And some of you was real good at battling, right?" More nodding. "But some of you weren't, right?" More nodding. "So? You're going to be helping Team Rocket in a different way.

"See dese signs?" Meowth asked, pointing at the signs on the cages. "In a few minutes, a bunch of Rockets will come through dose doors, load you all up in trucks, and take you all over da region. And when they do, they'll be delivering you to deserving little boys and girls who didn't get the chance to get a Pokémon of their own from da professors." And whose legal guardians paid top-dollar for under-the-table transactions—mostly through the Celadon Game Corner. "And it'll be your job to protect dose little boys and girls from dat big nasty blot! And if anyting goes wrong, you just let us know—we'll have a network, see?" Of blackmail, but that wasn't the point. "So see? You're still helping Team Rocket! You're helping us by keeping all dose kiddies safe!"

Silence.

" _I never thought of it that way,"_ a Caterpie said.

 _"Me neither,"_ a Rattata said.

 _"So when do we leave?"_ a Pidgey asked.

"Real soon," Meowth said, looking at one of the signs. "This here says tree-tirdy—I don't tink dat's too long from now."

 _"All right,"_ a Spearow said, settling down on the bottom of its cage.

"Great! Glad dat's settled. Good luck on your new mission!"

And with that, he waved good-bye to all of them and left the room, the Rattata that escorted him following.

 _"That was great,"_ it observed as it led him back to where Jessie and James ought to be. _"You really reassured them all. I'll be honest, I was a little worried myself—I'm glad to know they've got their own special missions to carry out."_

"Not a problem," Meowth said. And it wasn't—best misdirection was achieved by including truth in it. And on the positive side, they wouldn't be receiving any complaints about this batch—Meowth was willing to bet his own coin that these would be the best-behaved Pokémon they ever sold.

They arrived back at the humans just as the grunt gave the killing blow.

"Listen, this all sounds nice and all, but I'm not the one you got to be telling this to," the grunt said. "And speaking of, the boss is still expecting your call."

And there went the death bell.

"Nice knowing you, kid," Meowth muttered, following the rest of his team to their doom.

* * *

"How did we get _this_ lost?" Misty complained. "It should have been a straight shot down to Saffron City!"

"I still want to go to Vermilion City first," Ash said, climbing over a fallen log. "I don't think I'm ready for the Saffron Gym yet. And besides, we have those _S.S. Anne_ tickets."

"Now _that_ I'm looking forward to."

"I've heard of quite a few trainers skipping Saffron completely, or saving it until last," Brock said, bringing up the rear. "Sabrina and her Psychic types are immensely powerful, even by League standards."

Ash kind of wished that there were Dark types in Kanto—Darkrai had always been immensely dismissive of Kanto's over-powered-powerhouses. Ash later found out that Dark types were immune to Psychic types and their attacks, which had explained it.

But Misty had a point, so long ago on Mount Moon—don't think too far ahead just yet. Focus on prepping for Lt. Surge.

And he and Darkrai had cooked up a plan, before Darkrai had left.

It had been three days since Darkrai had departed on his trip, and his absence was notable. Suddenly, wild Pokémon were abundant. All three trainers' Pokémon had gotten plenty of levels via what was colloquially called "grinding."

Unfortunately, with them being lost, there was no Pokémon Center to take advantage of—and Brock's supplies were beginning to run low.

They needed a break.

"Hey, look!" Misty said. "An Oddish!"

Ash and Brock looked to see the small blue bipedal plant blink up at them.

"I think I should catch it," Misty said. "I need to diversify for the _next_ time someone challenges me with a Magikarp."

She hadn't let that die yet—Ash gave it another week. "Go for it," he declared.

Misty sent out Staryu—

And vines snatched the Oddish away and slapped down Staryu.

"Staryu!" Misty exclaimed, running up to check on her Pokémon. "What was that?"

Brock pulled Zubat's Pokéball out as Pikachu jumped off of Ash's shoulder, cheeks sparking.

"I don't know," Brock declared. "But we'd better be ready—whatever it is, it's not friendly."


	18. Start, Stop, and Go

**Chapter 18, everybody! In which we introduce the starters and I take the route previously established by Dragonsrule18 in their story** ** _When One Door Closes, Two More Open_** **by splitting the starters among Ash, Misty, and Brock. And we find out what Darkrai's been up to, so….**

 **Pokeevee57, thanks for the review! Yes! No! Stronger Team Rocket,** ** _AAAAA!_** **Yes…but he'll be back next week. Good question…but you know, there's a certain half of the Lunar Duo who's at her weakest during the New Moon….**

 **Yami-chan and Unrealistic, thanks for the review! Yes! And yes—they're surprisingly fun to write for. Thank you, glad you like! Well, Lenny** ** _is_** **a fish and Frenzy is…well, Frenzy. Although come to think of it, there hasn't really been an opportunity for Ash's Pokémon to really shoot the breeze, so….**

 **Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! Yes, Bulbasaur is making an appearance. This is also true—the prep school in the first season, for example, with Ash having Pikachu defeat a Cubone by making funny faces at it. Yes, you have to wonder what goes on in his head….I haven't seen that episode, but I'll definitely put it on my to-watch list. This is true. And this is also true….Yes…and me too. :)**

 **Idea Tamer Chaos, thanks for the review! I've received the PM—and good question…and I don't know—I've never had that problem before. So that's where all that Pokédex data comes from….I think something similar comes up in the Pokémon manga…and that** ** _is_** **a very fair point…as is that. Yes, that's another reason why Ash being spliced with a Pokémon is probably a bad thing (although it means that if Bill survived, he's off his rocker now). Hmm…and also hmm…but I am banking on that battle being interesting, especially since Darkrai doesn't exactly fight fair. And you're right—this version of Ash might not be as selfless/stupid enough to run in between two attacks. Hmm…and also hmm…and I suppose we'll have to wait and see….**

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! Thank you, glad you like it! Yes, if there's one thing Team Rocket's good at, it's manipulation….**

 **Ardtornismyname, thanks for the review! Let's see, maybe, um, no, and apparently I've missed a few Darkrai references, why haven't these been mentioned in Fanfiction? I will say that this Darkrai has his own history, though….**

 **Vismur, thanks for the review! Yes, finally, although I wouldn't go that far regarding Darkrai. That—is probably the best way to describe Darkrai's opinion of Ash. Yes—pity Eevee can't learn Chatter. Eh…he'll be around Ash, does that count?**

 **Chandan, thanks for the review! I'm glad you like my take on the Pokémon world—there's tons of fodder to work with and make something with, so it's been tons of fun. :D Yes, it will. I do have this written up past Chapter 40, so we should be good for a few more months at least. I've heard of** ** _Ashes of the Past_** **, but I'll have to look the other two up. Ah thank you, I'm glad you like it. :D I hope so to; I'm glad you had fun reading, and I hope to continue to please. :D And maybe (Schrodinger's Clefairy—perfect term for Bill right now). :)**

 **CandlitNights, thanks for the review! Good question…we'll find out this chapter. Eh….Yes, this is true….Well, in my reasoning of the Pokémon world, there are multiple instances of all Pokémon, even Mewtwo (the second female-voiced one in the Genesect movie I consider separate from the first Dan-Green one). Legendaries, like all other Pokémon, breed and reproduce, as we've seen with Lugia, but not nearly as frequently as other Pokémon due to the power difference and the fact that several of the Legendaries can be considered super predators, which also explains why we never see large groups of them in one location—competition for resources (I go into greater nerd-detail in a few of my pieces in my Pokémon folder of my DeviantArt gallery). So, technically, there could be a Darkrai for the PMD games, the main games, the anime, the movie, and this fic—or, since Legendaries are long-lived compared to regular Pokémon, it could be the same one. We shall see….**

 **Cyan Quarts, thank you for the reviews! Yes, I've never been able to get into those kinds of stories. Aha,** ** _Calvin and Hobbes_** **is one of my favorite comics, so that might be why that's so. And maybe. And yes, all three starters will be making an appearance (and I'm glad my AOL account blocks swear words, by the way).**

 **IceDragonGirl36, thanks for the review! Hopefully this chapter pleases! :D**

 **QuartSigma, thanks for the review! Wow, thank you! I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **In other news, the Unovan sentient cloud has amassed a following. People have been congregating on routes the cloud has been sighted on in attempts to "reach enlightenment" with contact with it. Authorities would like to take a moment to remind everyone to not engage the sentient cloud.**

The leader of Team Rocket wasn't well-known, mostly to assist with keeping him alive. The leader of such an organization would be a tantalizing target to anyone.

Mostly, however, his identity was kept a secret to keep _other people_ alive. One simply did not become the leader of such an organization without at least _some_ ruthlessness, and Meowth had heard more than one instance where the boss had either ordered someone killed or came to ensure the death himself. To say that Meowth was not looking forward to this call would be an understatement.

The sentiment was shared by his cohorts, if the lack of enthusiasm they were showing was any indication. James was laboriously dialing, as though carefully trying to defuse a bomb. Jessie was keeping her hands so tightly clasped in her lap that her whole body was trembling. Meowth, meanwhile, was trying to figure out which life he was on out of his nine lives, and whether its end was destined to be painful.

No one breathed as the phone rang. No screen, but there would be no video. Just them and the speakerphone in the soundproof booth.

Meowth was certain their hearts stopped when it picked up—at least, he was certain _his_ had stopped.

 _"This had better be good."_

James made a sort of _eep_ noise and froze. Jessie glanced at Meowth—who minutely shook his head; no way was he throwing their team under the bus thanks to his accent, which got thicker when he got nervous—before clearing her throat.

"Um, yes, this is Jessie, James, and Meowth—team ninety-seven," Jessie said tentatively. "You've…been asking for us?"

Silence—Meowth wondered if it was the boss refreshing his memory on the dunces calling him.

 _"Yes. I want a report on your activities in the past few weeks."_

Eep.

Meowth and Jessie both glanced at James, who seemed to have fainted dead away seated straight upright. Jessie looked like she was suppressing a sigh before launching into her report, carefully spinning their activities so it didn't sound _too_ hopeless, making certain to mention the Clefairy and Clefable and oh by the way, we're currently tracking down a very rare Pokémon.

 _"And progress on that front is going how?"_ the boss asked, sounding a little testy.

"We, ah," Jessie started, rubbing at her throat.

"We've had a minor setback," Meowth offered, feeling the need to at least _try_ to help. "Nothing major—just regrouping, figuring out a way ta properly capture it, anticipate its next moves…dat sort of ting." Urk. Meowth had never been good at the _th_ noise—his mouth simply wasn't structured right to make that noise, and when he tried, it sounded like he was hissing at the person. Usually he wasn't bothered by it, but right now…if he irritated the boss, that could be the tipping point….

 _"I see,"_ the boss said, after a painfully long while. _"To get to the reason I called for you: I have a job for you three."_

Meowth blinked, exchanged glances with Jessie. What?

"I…what?" Jessie managed to get out.

 _"I would hope my statement was obvious. Your little team has been sending in more Pokémon in a month than the rest have in the past quarter—including rare Pokémon and revenue-generating Pokémon."_

The ones Meowth had just given the send-off to, Meowth realized.

 _"And so, I'm giving you the S.S. Anne job,"_ the boss continued. _"This is a high-cost job, so I expect proper results."_

"But…sir…what about the—"

 _"Ask one of the survey units to keep watch for it. If it's as powerful as you say, it'll show up on the radar eventually. In the meantime, focus on your job. Do. Not. Fail. Me."_

And with that, the call ended.

It was a few moments before Meowth and Jessie breathed again, a few moments more while they composed themselves.

And then they noticed that James still hadn't recovered—Jessie finally shoved him out of the booth, where he tumbled to the floor outside with a yelp.

"So?" the grunt asked, once they extricated themselves and stepped around a recovering James. "How'd it go?"

"We've got a job," Jessie said, sounding dazed.

James looked at her, surprised. "We've got a job?"

"We've got a _job!"_ Meowth cheered, as the implications of what they heard sunk in. "We've been assigned da _S.S. Anne!_ Dat's high dollar, dat is!"

James and Meowth hugged. "We're finally coming up in the world!" James sobbed.

"How would you know? You were out of it the whole time!" Jessie scolded, before rounding on the grunt. "We're going to need to speak to the surveyors—boss's orders."

The grunt hopped to, and so did they.

Things were finally looking up for them!

* * *

As it turned out, the group had stumbled upon a hidden sanctuary, run by a girl named Melanie and guarded by a rather distrusting Bulbasaur.

They had stayed on a few days, though, to allow their Pokémon to recover. Things had gone quite nicely after Bulbasaur had decided it didn't want to kill them. To be honest, it seemed to be almost thinking about liking them.

Now, however, they were getting ready to leave, bidding Melanie and the Pokémon goodbye as the Bulbasaur watched carefully.

It surprised them as they turned by suddenly barking out. Ash turned, confused, and saw the Bulbasaur talking with the Oddish that Misty had tried to catch before and had later apologized to—they had gotten along quite well.

Oddish said something, prompting Bulbasaur to nod, and then wrap it with vines and hold it out to Misty.

"You want to come with me?" Misty asked.

 _"Oddish!"_ the Oddish declared.

Misty held her hands out for it, and Bulbasaur deposited it in her arms.

"I'll take good care of you," Misty said, hugging it gently.

"Odd," Oddish said.

Melanie seemed to be considering something.

It became clear when she kneeled next to Bulbasaur.

"I think you should go with them, too," she told it. "You've done great here, but I think it's time you start considering what you want, too. Don't worry," she added, winking. "We can take care of ourselves."

Bulbasaur regarded her, then turned its attention to the group, examining them critically.

Brock poked Ash in the back, prompting him to step forward and kneel in front of Bulbasaur.

"Well," Ash noised, suddenly nervous. "I want to become a really good trainer," he said, trailing off when he noted Bulbasaur's unimpressed expression. "But…you know, Brock wants to be a Pokémon doctor," Ash added, pointing over his shoulder. "And you know…you and him…you've got a lot in common. I think you two would get along."

Bulbasaur tilted its head, looked beyond him, and then walked around, sitting in front of a surprised-looking Brock and looking him up and down critically.

 _"Bulbasaur!"_ it said decisively.

* * *

Darkrai finally touched ground after a week of soaring over ocean.

It hadn't been as bad as the last time he had had to cross the ocean, when he had fled with no clear idea of where he was going, but it was bad enough that he immediately sank to the ground upon arrival.

 ** _"Hello beautiful,"_** he moaned, spread out over the sand. **_"Boy have I missed you."_**

In more ways than one.

He sat up, looking about at the land he had so long ago departed.

Sinnoh.

It didn't look a bit different.

He struggled upright, wanting to get moving before he got stiff. He needed to get what he came for and get out, before he was chased out once more.

He wasn't going to give her the satisfaction.

He floated off, telling himself that he'd sleep for a week once he got back to Kanto.

* * *

"Well, it's nice that you guys got a Pokémon."

"Ash, stop sulking."

"I'm _sorry!_ "

"Bulbasaur's a good fit for you, Brock," Misty said. "He reminded me a lot of you—taking care of a bunch of siblings, having to act tough, wanting to journey…."

"Let's not sum up my life," Brock said, holding Bulbasaur's Pokéball up so he could see inside. The plant saurian blinked up at him. Ash glanced over to see Misty checking her Oddish's Pokéball as well.

To be honest, Ash was more than a little miffed at the fact that none of the sanctuary Pokémon had wanted to travel with him—or indeed, have anything to do with him. They'd come close to him the first day or two, nose twitching as they eyed him carefully—and then it was like they caught a whiff of something, something that spooked them so badly they wouldn't have anything to do with him. It had gotten to the point that by the time they had left, none of the Pokémon would have anything to do with him. It was enough to make him wonder what kind of concession it had been for Bulbasaur and Oddish to travel with them.

It was also enough to make him wonder just what it was about him that spooked the Pokémon so bad. They didn't smell Darkrai on him, did they?

"Pika," Pikachu said in his ear, jolting him out of his reverie.

"Yeah," Ash said, glancing at Pikachu and smiling in a way that hopefully alleviated that worried look on Pikachu's face. "But hey! We're all charged up and ready to go again, right?"

"Yay, more wandering in the wilderness," Misty moaned as Ash charged ahead. But Ash didn't mind—so long as they were on their way again.

* * *

Darkrai snuck into the hatchery on the night of the new moon.

It was laughably pathetic, really. Way too easy. She was losing her touch.

It didn't stop his claws from trembling slightly. It wasn't so much his moony counterpart as the guardians of the hatchery that worried him. Dark types had precious few weaknesses—Fairy was one of them.

Fighting was another.

But this was the important thing—just get in, out, and on with life. If he hustled, then the Lucario guarding the eggs would never know he was here. Steal— _commandeer—_ a Riolu egg, then give it to the yutz—the Lucario line were held on such a ridiculously high pedestal that this was _sure_ to shut that stupid puffball up. Enough with the doom-and-gloom, really—Darkrai brought _nightmares_ wherever he went, for crying out loud, and _he_ was more cheerful than that stupid fairy!

And besides, he wasn't about to admit that _maybe_ he thought said stupid fairy had a point.

The eggs rocked nervously as he passed by—of course. They were technically sleeping in their eggs—therefore, they were having nightmares right now. Better hurry, before their alarmed aura alerted the adults.

Ah—this was it.

An egg that trembled, yet stayed resolute—perfect! It meant it would survive the journey back to Kanto.

He picked it up, cradled it against his chest, and drifted back to the window as quickly and quietly as he could. Almost there, almost scot-free—yes! Out of there!

Something cold striking him in the back alerted him to his error. He spun around, cursing his luck—

Oh.

Oh boy.

Time to go.

Because above the hatchery was the absolute meanest-looking goose he had ever seen.

 _"You,"_ Cresselia hissed. _"I told you to never come back!"_

He dodged the next Aurora Beam she shot at him and zipped off into the woods. She followed with a screech of indignation.

 ** _"Oh good,"_** Darkrai sighed sardonically. **_"She missed me."_**

* * *

The group was not having a good day.

It wasn't because of the rain. No. Or the mud. Or the fact that they had spent most of the day lost in the wilderness. _Again._

It was because they had heard the trainer of the Charmander they had encountered earlier bragging about how he had callously abandoned it, and now it was torrentially raining, and they were scrambling to get back to it before the rain extinguished its flame for good.

The reached it as its flame guttered and sputtered. Ash stood over it, trying to block the rain, as Brock threw out Bulbasaur.

Bulbasaur too, had been abandoned. But not before his previous trainer had used a Technical Machine to teach him Sunny Day.

Misty was using a potion on the Charmander in an attempt to get it to passable enough health so they could carry it to the nearest Pokémon Center—which Ash was frantically trying to find on his Pokédex.

They ran for the Pokémon Center, Ash carrying Charmander as Misty read off the directions on the Pokédex.

Ash mentally filed away the trainer to tell Darkrai about when he got back. Granted, he had wanted to do something to that trainer himself, but if Brock—who had gotten in the trainer's face—could hold back, then Ash supposed he could to. The Charmander was more important, and if they had wasted any more time on the trainer, the Charmander would have been dead.

And besides, as Darkrai frequently said, revenge was a dish best served cold (to which Ash had once responded that Revenge was a move best used immediately, which had earned him a bonk on the head).

He couldn't help but scowl at that. He hoped Darkrai was having a better time than they were.

* * *

Darkrai was absolutely certain that yutz-and-friends were having a better time than he was.

Cresselia may not have had the moon to use, but that didn't stop her from firing off Aurora Beams after him, dogging his every move as he tried to lose her. He was getting close to the coast, and he needed to quickly ensure that she _wasn't_ going to follow him.

Ah, idea—and it fit so well with her perception of him.

He shot over the open beach and spun around, one clawed hand poised over the egg.

 ** _"Drop it, or the egg gets it,"_** he snarled.

Just as he thought—Cresselia practically skidded to a halt, appalled. _"How—how dare you!"_

Darkrai gave a little shrug and shot off before she could recover.

 _"You won't get away with this!"_ she yelled after him. _"I will find you! You will pay for what you've done!"_

 ** _"Remind me to write a check,"_** he muttered, Sinnoh already a blot on the horizon behind him. He turned his attention to the little egg cradled in his elbow.

 ** _"Sorry about that, but I needed to dump her,"_** he said.

It was a few moments before he addressed it again.

 ** _"By the by, if you ever tell anyone I apologized, I'll squish you."_**

He had a reputation to uphold, after all!

* * *

"I can't be bothered to fight you! I have a reputation to uphold, after all!"

Ash scowled at the uppity prep-school girl who apparently ran the students of the school. Nngh, she wouldn't face him in a fair fight—

He practically heard Darkrai right then— _so fight dirty._

"Misty, can I borrow that Squirtle you caught the other day?" Ash hissed to Misty.

Misty had just lost a sucker-punch round from this girl, so she didn't question him as she handed over the former leader of the Squirtle Squad.

"Okay, Squirtle!" Ash said, holding up the turtle Pokémon. "Use Water Gun!"

Squirtle shot a quick glance at Misty, who nodded, before shooting a spray of water at the prep-girl.

It didn't take them long to beat feet off campus.

Especially considering prep-girl was chasing them with a vengeance for ruining her hair.

"We need to talk about your approaches to confrontations," Misty said as they fled.

"I'm working on it," Ash said.


	19. Eggs With a Side of Moves

**Chapter 19, everybody! In which reunions are had, eggs are given, and moves both legal and less-so are dealt with….**

 **Beautiful-Liar13, thanks for the review! Maybe. And yes. Bad Darkrai.**

 **Illythir, thanks for the review! Good question. Thank you, I'm glad you like it, and I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Luktopius, thanks for the review! Yes he does!**

 **Dragonkeeper10, thanks for the review! Yes, yes, and yes. And yes. And yes, that** ** _will_** **be interesting….**

 **Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! Yes—I was somewhat inspired by how Dragonsrule18 handled splitting the starters, but now that you mention it, it does have precedence in canon. Ah, but remember, Misty has mallets. Thanks—I'll make sure to watch it the next time I have some spare time (school claims it all). Yes, talking Pokémon are handled very inconsistently—and then we get to the games, where they sound more like animals (except for Pikachu now, which makes it pretty jarring when you compare with Pichu and Raichu). Good question….**

 **XT3100, thanks for the review! Yes, actually—I'm surprised more people didn't catch that (I thought that I had made it too on-the-nose, but I suppose they could be used to guard any hatchery—Sneasel are probably a major egg problem, considering their 'dex entry). Well….Good question. And yes, but this seems to work better with the story so far, so….**

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! Yes, I love writing for Darkrai. :D Well, to be fair, he needed a water type for that to work, so….No, no dragons in the plan that I know of. Eh, the Celadon crossdressing incident will be referenced, if that makes you feel better. :)**

 **Yami-chan and Unrealistic, thanks for the review! Thank you, I'm glad you like it—Darkrai's been fun to write for. :D Yes, it's a little different. Yes, this should be interesting….Oh good—it's been interesting seeing everyone's opinions on the matter, though. Yes…especially this chapter. Weird Pokémon are best Pokémon—they're interesting to write for. :)**

 **Vismur, thanks for the review! I'm sorry! But Bulbasaur will be playing a good role, rest assured. Yes, Misty and Squirtle will be interesting….You'll find out this chapter. :) Yes….Only a third. :)**

 **IceDragonGirl36, thanks for the review! I hope this one pleases as well!**

 **Pokeevee57, thanks for the review! Yes….**

 **Cyan Quartz, thanks for the review, although I'm not sure what it has to do with the chapter….**

 **Johnny Spectre, thanks for the review! Yes, this is true….**

 **Thanks for the review, Guest! Glad you liked it, although I can't claim all the credit, as I picked up the idea from Dragonsrule18. Wasn't planning on it, so this works well. :)**

 **Ardtornismyname, thanks for the review! I'll take that into consideration, thank you. :)**

 **Thanks for the review, Gust! Maybe….**

 **QuartSigma, thanks for the review! I'm glad you like it, and I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

 ** _The Road to El_ Dorado ****© 2000 DreamWorks Entertainment**

 ** _Surf's Up_ ****© 2007 Chris Buck & Ash Brannon**

 **"The Pied Piper"** **© 1965 Steve Duboff & Artie Kornfeld (writers); 1966 Crispian St. Peters (singer)**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **The Pokémon League would like to remind trainers of the Regional Sanctity for the Environment act (RSE) as we once again reach peak Pokémon breeding season. Please note all signs and avoid straying too far from clearly marked roads at this time. Roaming trainers will find that some routes have been closed completely for the time being. This is for your safety. Please do not try to use these routes at this time. You will be eaten by territorial parent Pokémon if you do.**

"Okay, guys, let's split up into teams! Pikachu, you and Frenzy are together. Lenny, you and Patches are teaming up—everyone practice their dodging. Ready? Go!"

Pikachu quickly dodged Frenzy's eager attack as Lenny and Patches sort of looked at each other. "Yeah," Ash said. "I guess it's kind of hard for Lenny to dodge….Hey! Lenny, use Splash!"

Lenny blinked, but obliged. The action made him flop around a bit.

"Do you think that'd work for a land-based dodge?" Ash asked.

 _"Karp!"_ Lenny said happily.

"Perfect!" Ash declared, turning his attention to his two newest teammates.

"Okay, Vee, I want you to practice your moves for a bit—try Helping Hand with everyone, okay?"

" _Vee vee!"_ Vee declared happily, dashing off to help his teammates.

That done, Ash knelt next to Charmander. "Okay, I know you're still recovering, so you don't have to participate if you don't want to. Hey," he said quickly, noticing Charmander's downcast look. "Don't worry about it—I just don't want you rushing into this. I know you had a bad experience before—I want you to have some good ones now. Hey, I got an idea—Brock's cooking lunch, and I bet he needs a taste-tester."

Charmander looked exceedingly happy at that—his former trainer had apparently starved him.

Ash scowled as Charmander ran down the hill to Brock—Damian, Charmander's now ex-trainer. What a jerk. He was worse than _Gary_ —and _that_ was saying something. He kicked at a tuft of grass, picturing doing the same to Damian's face.

 ** _"Now what did that grass ever do to you?"_**

"Darkrai! You're back!" Ash exclaimed excitedly, running over as Darkrai floated down behind the hill.

Darkrai stiff-armed him. **_"We've discussed this—no hugging."_**

"Sorry. So how was the Legendary thing?"

Darkrai blinked. **_"Oh, uh—kind of boring, actually. Zygarde was there."_**

"Who?"

 ** _"Zygarde—he's from Kalos, and he's a real stick-in-the-mud. I did manage to get a souvenir, though."_**

And with that, Darkrai held up a blue egg.

"Is that a Pokémon egg?" Ash asked, awed—they were quite rare, mostly because getting them involved putting oneself in personal danger from angry Poké-parents.

 ** _"No, this is a human egg—we had this conversation, remember? Yes, it's a Pokémon egg, you ninny,_** " Darkrai said, flicking Ash in the forehead. **_"I was almost going to give it to you, too, but then you had to go and remind me that I'm talking to the village idiot."_**

"Ow," Ash noised, rubbing his forehead. "Really? You were going to give me a bona fide Pokémon egg?"

 ** _"'Was' being the key word."_**

"I could take care of it! I'm very responsible!"

" _Pika pi!"_

 ** _"The bug is trying to kill the rat,"_** Darkrai observed.

" _Gah!_ Frenzy! Stop it!" Ash yelped, waving frantically.

Frenzy did so.

Pikachu collapsed in an exhausted heap.

"Okay, problem solved. Where were we?" Ash asked.

 ** _"We were not giving you an egg."_**

"Aw, come on—"

 ** _"I am not coming on—you nearly let your starter die."_**

 _"Pikachu!"_ Pikachu called over.

 ** _"Oh, hush you rat—it's true and you know it."_**

"Can I at least _hold_ it?" Ash asked.

 ** _"Well…I suppose,"_** Darkrai mused, holding it over Ash's outstretched hands. **_"So long as you don't drop it."_**

"You got it."

 ** _"Or shake it."_**

"Right."

 ** _"Or crack it or otherwise….Wait, why am I even giving this to you?"_**

"I was beginning to wonder the same thing."

 ** _"Fine. Hold. And don't drop it—it's heavy."_**

Ash quickly rolled his arms so he was cradling the egg against his chest. "It's so warm," he observed.

 ** _"Congratulations—it's not an Ice type."_**

"Is it a Fire type?"

 ** _"Do I look Psychic? And what did we say about shaking it?"_**

"I'm not shaking it, I just want to see if I can hear it yet," Ash said, holding the egg to his ear. "I don't think it's ready to hatch just yet."

 ** _"Not for a good long while."_** Darkrai scratched at his collar, as though considering something. **_"Come to think of it, too long of a time commitment for me— you keep it."_**

"Really? That's great! That's horrible!"

 ** _"Nice impression of Dr. Joltik and Mr. Hydreigon. Be grateful, why don't you?"_**

"I am—but how am I going to explain this to Brock and Misty? Eggs don't fall out of the sky! Do they?"

 ** _"Not without being scrambled. Tell them some random stranger gave it to you—it happens every day."_**

"Seriously?"

 ** _"Or you could say you found it."_**

"They'd tell me to put it back."

 ** _"Or you could say you laid it yourself."_**

 _"Ew! Gross!"_

 ** _"Well then, wise guy, what's your story going to be?"_**

Ash gave it some thought. Good question—how _did_ one explain an egg randomly appearing?

"How about 'I don't know how it got here, but here it is'?"

 ** _"That's it—give it back."_**

"Nope! Too late!"

 ** _"Don't run with it, you moron!"_**

* * *

"Anyway, while we were training, this guy comes up, says everybody looks really good, I must be an alright trainer, and hey I have an egg here, maybe you'd be a good one to take care of it?"

"That guy must be a _horrible_ judge of character," Misty declared flatly.

 ** _"Ha!"_**

 _She's talking about you, lame-brain,_ Ash thought upon hearing the faint laugh, but forced a smile. "Anyway…. _Brock_ , you haven't questioned my capability to tie my own shoes—could you help me with this egg?"

"Sure," Brock said, looking at it. "But I thought your shoes were Velcro."

"They are, but it's the principle of it."

"I haven't questioned whether or not you can tie your own shoes," Misty pointed out.

"But you've _thought_ it."

"True…."

Brock considered. "It'd be good practice for a Pokémon Breeder," Ash added.

"All right then," Brock said, nodding. "Well, first thing's first—stop waving that egg around. You'll break it like that."

Ash was now firmly of the opinion that Brock was another Darkrai in disguise.

* * *

Once the issue of the egg was squared away and lunch was ate, Ash took his team off to train some more. And, although Misty and Brock were told it was to keep the mess of practice battles away from the campsite, he was going the extra hill to properly introduce them to Darkrai, lurking out of sight and coming over to them once he was assured that they wouldn't be spotted.

Silence reigned as Ash's Pokémon considered the big black thing floating next to Ash.

 _"What is that?"_ Charmander asked finally.

Darkrai looked at Ash. **_"Well, if I had to guess, it's a trainer."_**

"This is Darkrai," Ash said, evidently guessing what the object of discussion was. "He's a friend of mine."

 ** _"Let's not go that far."_**

 _"So you're Ash's Pokémon?"_ Vee asked.

 ** _"HA! Not in a million years, fluffy."_**

"People and Pokémon can be friends without Pokéballs being involved," Ash said, again guessing what the topic was—Pikachu wondered how many times Ash had had this conversation with Pokémon regarding Darkrai. "And besides, Darkrai's going to be nice enough to show us some really awesome moves—right, Darkrai?"

 ** _"Mmm, no. I've changed my mind."_**

"Aw, come on, _please?"_

The rest of them watched for a few moments as Ash had to chase Darkrai down and wheedle him into helping them.

 _"Is he for real?"_ Charmander asked.

 _"Unfortunately,"_ Pikachu said.

Eventually, however, Ash and Darkrai were back.

"So Darkrai's going to be teaching us some moves," Ash began.

 ** _"If I feel like it,"_** Darkrai said.

"He feels like it."

 _"Uh-huh,"_ Pikachu noised. _"And Stantler really know how to fly."_

 _"They do?"_ Vee asked, excited.

 ** _"Sure. While they're yammering,"_** Darkrai said to Ash, pointing at the rest of the Pokémon. **_"You. You need a better strategy than 'let's all play nice with the other kiddies.'"_**

"I've been using other strategies," Ash said, sounding miffed. "And besides, I had to bin the _play nice_ strategy a few times—I'll tell you about it later. And if it makes you feel any better, I had to hear about it from Misty a lot, so there's no danger of a repeat."

 ** _"I'm beginning to like this Misty girl."_**

"Until she mallets you. That's a thing, apparently."

 _"I'm going to take a nap,"_ Patches said. _"Wake me when something happens."_

"Hey! Don't fall asleep!" Ash said, noticing Patches curling up. "We're going to be learning Ground moves to counteract Lt. Surge!"

 _"We?"_ Pikachu asked. _"Is there a Rattata in your pocket?"_

"And I've been talking with Brock, and Patches, you can learn Dig with some help. And Charmander—chances are Lt. Surge is going to be using a Magnemite. Brock said gym leaders are supposed to prioritize Pokémon native to their Region."

 _" **Brock said Brock said Brock said,"**_ Darkrai said, floating on his side and looking bored. **_"Why am I even here then?"_**

"Because you said you were going to help?"

 ** _"I've changed my mind."_**

 _"Not this again!"_ Charmander exclaimed, sagging in dismay.

"Moves, please," Ash said, waving his hands to direct attention back to himself.

 _"Hey, Ash just learned Follow Me!"_ Patches exclaimed, pointing.

 _"'I'm the pied Hypno, trust in me,'"_ Vee sang.

 ** _"I'm not going to teach you anything if you sing,"_** Darkrai said.

Vee quickly shut up.

 ** _"Oi,"_** Darkrai noised, rubbing his head and looking like he was nursing a headache. **_"So. First Ground move of note would be Sand Attack—it's a good move to have, considering it lowers accuracy and buys you some time to counterattack."_**

Pikachu looked at the lineup. _"Who here learns Sand Attack?"_

 _"I do! I do!"_ Vee said, hopping up and down.

 _"I don't,"_ Charmander said, scratching at his face.

 _"I don't think I do either,"_ Patches said.

 _"I definitely don't,"_ Lenny said.

They looked at him. _"That's because you're a fish,"_ Pikachu said. _"The only time you're supposed to encounter sand is on a beach!"_

A sharp whistle cut through their argument, redirecting their attention to Darkrai, looming over them and looking angry at the fact that they had fallen to bickering in _his_ presence.

 ** _"Shut up, the lot of you,"_** he demanded. **_"Sand Attack is as basic as this."_**

And with that, he scooped up a handful of dirt and flung it away.

 ** _"There. That's it. You throw dirt in your opponent's eye. The end. And you don't think you could learn that?"_**

 _"It's not in my legal moveset!"_ Charmander protested. When the others looked at him: _"I come from a breeder—moves are a big deal."_

 ** _"Well I've got a news flash for you,"_** Darkrai said, looming over him, claws at the ready. **_"I'm not your breeder, and out here the only legal thing you have to worry about is stopping the other Pokémon before it eats you. GOT IT?"_**

Charmander squeaked and nodded vigorously.

 ** _"Good, so glad we had this little chat."_**

"So," Ash noised, when Darkrai backed away. "Who wants to try it first?"

 _"Me! Me!"_ Vee said, bouncing forward and apparently not daunted by the big scary Darkrai at all. _"I want to try it!"_

 ** _"It's like you in miniature,"_** Darkrai said to Ash.

"Yeah. All right, Vee, try it!" Ash said.

Vee swept his tail along the ground before flicking it up, sending a cloud of dust shooting away.

"All right—that's a great start," Ash said.

 ** _"Have I mentioned today what a sap you are?"_** Darkrai asked, arms crossed.

"Not yet—okay, Pikachu! Your turn!"

Pikachu unenthusiastically scooped up some dirt and lobbed it.

 ** _"No joy, man, no joy,"_** Darkrai said, shaking his head and striking his claws against each other. **_"Fail."_**

Pikachu grimaced, grabbed another pawful of dirt and threw it at Darkrai, who dodged it easily.

 ** _"Better,"_** Darkrai observed. **_"But if you attack me again I'm going to rip your tail off and choke you with it."_**

Ouch. Pikachu unconsciously tucked his tail around and close to his body—as did Vee and Charmander.

"Uh, yeah—no tail-ripping," Ash said, poking Darkrai, who batted his hand away. "So. Patches, you're next."

Patches examined the ground, stole a glance at Darkrai before scraping a forepaw against the ground and flinging the dirt away, being careful not to hit Darkrai—and ended up spattering Pikachu's fur instead.

 _"Watch it,"_ Pikachu growled.

" _I still don't think I could do it,"_ Lenny said, when Ash looked at him. _"I haven't stopped being a fish in the last few minutes."_

 ** _"Then what good are you?"_** Darkrai asked, earning him a flicking hit from Ash.

Charmander fidgeted, sensing he was next, before reaching down and gingerly tossing a handful of dirt.

 ** _"That was actually worse than the rat's attempt,"_** Darkrai said, pointing at Pikachu. Pikachu reminded himself that he wanted to keep his tail where it currently was instead of around his neck.

"It's okay, Charmander, we'll just keep working on it," Ash assured him.

And then everyone looked at Frenzy, who had stood where he stopped, facing Ash and not contributing to the conversation at all. Pikachu wasn't certain the Paras even _could_ converse.

"Use Sand Attack, Frenzy," Ash said.

Frenzy sat there, blinking at Ash.

"Okay," Ash noised, squatting in front of him. "This is Sand Attack." Ash scooped up some dirt and flung it away. "Now you. Use Sand Attack, Frenzy."

Frenzy screeched, making everyone jump, and then started clawing at the dirt with a passion, sending dirt _everywhere._

"Gah—Frenzy, _stop!"_ Ash said, arms in front of his face and spitting out dirt.

Frenzy stopped—or so Pikachu figured, seeing as he wasn't feeling dirt pelting him anymore. Right now, he was more focused with rubbing the dirt out of his eyes—and from the sounds of it, everyone else was in similar straits.

 ** _"I think it's safe to say that bug has some issues,"_** Darkrai observed.

Pikachu couldn't agree more.


	20. Digging Vermilion City

**Chapter 20, everybody! In which revenge is a dish best served cold; references to** ** _Mulan, Portal,_** **and Sonic the Hedgehog are made; and Lt. Surge is encountered….Oh yes, and we reference the creepypasta hack game** ** _Pokémon Creepy Black_** **as well.**

 **Pokeevee57, thanks for the review! I'm not sure either….**

 **Wings of an Eternal Blaze, thanks for the review! That's actually an interesting mental image….(That's right, there was a musical, wasn't there?...)**

 **Luktopius, thanks for the review! Thank you, glad you like it! :D**

 **Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! Yes and yes, and maybe—but keep in mind, Darkrai wasn't really at a super-secret meeting of Legendaries, so he has no reason to be honest about what "happened" there. Probably. Yes, some of the move sets don't make much sense—using Darkrai's demonstration and logic, Sand Attack should be learned by every single Dark type there is (considering it's treated as underhanded). This is also true….**

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! Thanks—I had a lot of fun writing that. :)**

 **Chermayne, thanks for the review! Thank you, glad you like it! :D**

 **Yami-chan and Unrealistic, thanks for the review! Yes—I think my favorite characters to write for have consistently been Frenzy and Darkrai. Yes….**

 **IceDragonGirl36, thanks for the review! Good question…and yes. I…don't know—I don't think Frenzy speaks, to tell the truth….Well then, I hope this chapter pleases! :D**

 **Thanks for the review, Gust! Nice summary—no lady friends, for the record.**

 **Thanks for the review, Guest! I love him too—so much fun to write for the crazy Paras. :D**

 **ChangelingRin, thanks for the review! No, not really—he's my favorite to write for, alongside Darkrai. :D**

 **GiygasDistruttoreCosmico, thanks for the review! Perfectly normal.**

 **Megaman Zero and Ciel, thanks for the review! Yes indeed….**

 **Ardtornismyname, thanks for the review! Maybe….**

 **Selet, thanks for the review! Mine too. Good thing he listens to Ash….**

 **Vismur, thanks for the review! Hmm….Thank you, glad you like it! And the egg conversations. :D Thank you!**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

 ** _Portal_ ****© 2007 Valve**

 ** _Mulan_ ****© 1998 Disney**

 **Sonic the Hedgehog** **© SEGA**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **In other news, the rolling blackouts afflicting the east side of Kanto have been discovered to be caused by migrating Magnemite. Affected residents are advised to keep the power off as much as possible to cut off their food source and hasten them along their migration. That includes this radio broadcast.**

Once everyone could see again, they moved on to the next move—Dig.

"Brock said he'd help with this one as soon as he finished up whatever it was he was doing," Ash said.

 ** _"Do you want my help or not?"_** Darkrai demanded, tapping Ash in the chest with a claw.

 _"Not really,"_ Pikachu muttered.

 _"Can we put it to a vote?"_ Charmander asked timidly.

They could not, which was why two-thirds of them were currently trying to dig holes. Two-thirds because, as Lenny pointed out, he was still a fish and couldn't dig, and they were afraid Frenzy would burrow through the earth and pop out the other side if Ash gave the order. So Lenny was practicing his Splash, seeing as how Ash seemed convinced it could be useful, and Frenzy was acting as a very creepy supervisor. And so far, the only ones who seemed to have any competence with the digging was Patches and Vee—Pikachu kept hitting himself with the dirt, and Charmander kept overbalancing. Vee, meanwhile, was digging very much like a Growlithe would, and Patches had already made himself a tidy little burrow.

 _"Our species tends to live in burrows,"_ Patches explained when he popped back up. _"Digging is sort of essential to everyday life."_

 _"Well mine don't,"_ Pikachu spat. _"So no tunneling for me. This stinks."_

 _"You can do it!"_ Vee cheered, still digging—just a hole; Pikachu had the feeling that when or if Brock came over, it would be to say that Patches was the one who would learn the move. _"Just keep digging!"_

Patches nodded, ducking back underground while humming some song.

Pikachu blew an irritated sigh, twitched his ears when he heard Ash talking to Darkrai.

"Would you object too terribly to doing me a favor?" Ash asked.

 ** _"I'm helping you here—technically you owe me,"_** Darkrai said.

"Yeah, well, this is the sort of thing you'd actually like to do."

 ** _"Keep talking."_**

Pikachu scowled, moved to cross over—

 _"Hey, you stopped digging,"_ Vee protested.

 _"I did,"_ Pikachu said. _"I'm not built for it, so I'd rather not."_ And he wanted to hear what Ash and Darkrai were talking about.

 _"But you've got to try!"_

 _"And what have I been doing, pray tell?"_

 _"You're not really into it,"_ Vee said, ears drooping. _"It's like—that big black 'mon suggested it, so you automatically hate it."_

 _"And you're cool with it?"_ Pikachu had to ask.

 _"Well, yeah,"_ Vee said, flicking his ears. _"It's kind of like the Umbreon and Haxorus from Bill's, all rolled into one—big and strong and scary and smelling like a Dark type. And Ash is fine with it, so why shouldn't we be?"_

 _"Because Ash isn't the best judge of character?"_

 _"Don't be silly,"_ Vee said, beaming in what he probably thought was an encouraging way. _"I mean, look at us!"_

Pikachu did so. And honestly, the only one he thought was both competent and normal was Patches—Frenzy was terrific in battle, in the _scare a 'mon and then tear them to shreds_ way; meanwhile, Charmander jumped at his own shadow, Vee probably whistled through his ears if he turned sideways in a windstorm, and Lenny was…well, a fish.

In all honesty, it resulted in Vee's rhetoric being very depressing indeed.

"Hey, Ash!"

Pikachu's ears shot up at Brock's voice—glance at Brock, back to Ash—Darkrai was gone, and Ash was waving at Brock.

"Hey!" Ash hailed. "We've been practicing! Want to take a look?"

"Sure," Brock said, coming down the slope and examining the group. "I think Patches would be the best bet, honestly…."

Pikachu bit back a frustrated growl, realizing he had lost his chance.

Whatever Ash had said to Darkrai was now lost to the winds.

* * *

Damian was caught in the throes of a nightmare, although he didn't know it yet.

He had an unstoppable Pokémon—he couldn't quite identify it, as it was amorphous and dark, but it was doing its job and doing it well. Nothing could stand before it. Nothing. Even the Pokémon League fell before its mighty Curse attack, which one-hit KO'ed everything.

And for everything it defeated, trainer and Pokémon, a gravestone took their place.

Damian couldn't help but laugh as even the legendary Red fell. "Nothing can stop me now!" he crowed, gesticulating in victory.

 ** _Are you so sure?_**

Damian felt his insides turn cold as his unbeatable Pokémon—dark and unknown and unidentifiable—turned on him. He had nothing to defend himself with, he realized—nothing.

 ** _So tough, aren't you? Let's see how you hold up when you're the one in the battle!_**

* * *

Darkrai watched as the boy thrashed in his sleep. Scratch one off the list. Next, visit the "AJ" kid, and then that so-called "school of trainers."

Granted, he wouldn't normally do this—well, yes, he _would_ do this, but not on request. But the kid didn't request this sort of thing too often, so it was the sort of thing to savor.

 ** _"He's all grown up and making lists,"_** Darkrai said, feigning sappy joy. Honestly, this was the sort of behavior he could understand, instead of that silly _let's all play nice_ drivel.

As he flew off, he reflected that that probably was a bad thing. But who cared! He had that fixed with that egg. Now he could sleep happy.

And maybe give that Clefable a Razzberry the next time he saw him.

* * *

"All right! Vermilion City! First stop: Pokémon Center, and then on to the gym!"

"I think he sneaks sugar when we're not looking," Misty said.

"I've been marking the ingredients," Brock declared. "I think you're right."

"Hey, I've got natural exuberance," Ash argued. "It's like….Hey, what are you doing?"

"ADD?" Misty asked.

"I'm going with ADHD," Brock said, watching as Ash peppered a guy standing in a field supervising his Machop with questions. "One of my little brothers has it, and he only has two speeds: wide open and asleep."

"I'll go with that too then. We could call it ASH."

"But what would it stand for?"

"I'll think of something."

* * *

When they arrived at the Pokémon Center, it was to find it absolutely packed.

"What's with the packed room?" Ash asked the nurse. "Are they getting ready for the _S.S. Anne_?"

"No, unfortunately," the nurse said. "These people all challenged Lt. Surge."

Ouch. "Uh, did anyone win?"

"Not in this decade."

Double ouch. "Full restore, please."

"Coming from the gym?"

"Heading there."

"Next of kin?"

"That bad?"

"That bad."

"Delia Ketchum in Pallet Town," Ash declared, deciding to humor her.

* * *

"From what I've heard so far, Lt. Surge favors physical assaults," Brock said, indicating the room. "But if you try a long-range battle, he switches over to Thunder and Thunder Shock."

"Is there any way to have, like, a middle-ground assault?" Ash asked.

"Not really."

"What about Patches' Poison Point or Frenzy's spores?"

"That doesn't seem to work either."

"There's got to be _some_ way to beat this guy!"

"You could try catching a Diglett or Geodude in Diglett Cave, but I hear he has strategies for them, too."

"I'm starting to think I should have gone with Sabrina first."

"Ketchum!" the nurse called. "Your Pokémon are ready!"

Ash ran up to reclaim them. "Well, ready to take on Lt. Surge?" he asked Pikachu.

 _"Chu!"_ Pikachu declared, cheeks sparking.

"May whatever Higher Power you believe in be with you," the nurse said.

"Huh?" Ash asked, confused.

"A ruling came from the League that all last rites now have to be non-denominational. It's annoying, to be honest."

"Oh…kay," Ash noised, taking his Pokémon and running. The sooner he got this over with, the better. "We're off to beat Lt. Surge!"

The laughter that followed was insulting at best.

* * *

The Vermilion Gym was big and intimidating, like its owner.

Ash, however, had spent a good chunk of his life around a Pokémon that was truly intimidating—a measly human wasn't about to top Darkrai.

So, when he entered the gym and boldly announced his challenge, he didn't feel slapped down when Lt. Surge started laughing so hard his knees buckled.

The big Unovan easily outstripped Brock—it would have taken both Brock and Ash to match him in both size and weight. He was clad in camouflage—probably a holdover from his army days, as he wasn't exactly blending in with anything here.

"Are you done?" Ash asked, when Lt. Surge finally wound down and started breathing normally again. He had laughed so long that Misty and Brock had managed to find decent seats and make themselves comfortable.

"Aaah, yeah," Lt. Surge said, wiping his eyes. "I don't care how many times it happens in a day, it is absolutely _hilarious_ when one of you kids comes in like that—like it's supposed to intimidate anyone. Pff! You watch too many cartoons, kid!"

Okay, Ash was seriously going to have to check and see if there wasn't some sort of hidden Darkrai community shamming as humans—that had sounded too much like Darkrai just then.

"So," Lt. Surge said, nodding to his referee, who moved over to the designated box. "I hope you weren't thinking that you'd skip to an 'easy' gym—Sabrina might command Psychics, but when it comes to a no-holds beatdown, I'm the guy to come to."

"I'd heard that rumor," Ash said. "And I saw your work."

"And you came anyway," Lt. Surge observed. "You're either really brave, or really stupid."

"I'd rather be the first, but everyone I've talked to so far thinks the latter."

"And he's honest too. Ready to meet your Maker, kid?"

Ash twisted his cap around. "Ready."

"This will be a three on three Pokémon gym battle!" the referee announced. "Only the challenger is allowed to make substitutions…."

The referee became white noise—Ash was focused now. He and Darkrai had come up with a good strategy, which he had run by an obliging Brock. They were ready. Ish.

"Go, Magnemite!" Lt. Surge called, summoning a floating steel ball with magnets on either side and a big eye in the middle. Ash had to resist instantly shouting out _"Wheatley!"_

Instead, he shouted "Charmander, I choose _you!"_

Charmander appeared in a flash of light, trembling slightly, but ready for battle.

There had been a lot of back and forth as far as letting Charmander battle, but with the potential to have a steel-electric type against them, Charmander and his fire attacks would be useful. In the end, Ash had told him that he would only put him in the battle if he thought he was ready and if his fire was needed.

He was ready, and he was needed.

"Smokescreen, Charmander!" Ash called.

"Magnemite, Supersonic!" Lt. Surge ordered.

"Cover your ears!"

Charmander did so. He looked dazed by the end of the attack, but not fully confused—at least there was that.

"Ember, Charmander!"

"Don't think type advantage is going to save you, kid," Lt. Surge sneered. "Magnemite! Sonic Boom!"

Ash tried very hard not to think of blue Shaymin as the attack zipped towards Charmander. "Dodge it!"

"Don't think so!"

Indeed, it clipped Charmander on the side. Ash heard frantic pinging from his Pokédex—he checked it speedily to see that Charmander's HP had dipped quite a bit.

"Charmander, return!" Ash called. Charmander ran to his side as he threw out another Pokéball. "Go, Patches!"

"'Patches'?" Lt. Surge echoed, as the Nidoran appeared on the field.

"Okay, Patches! Use Dig!" Ash called.

"Aw, kid, I thought you were smarter than that," Lt. Surge sighed. "Magnemite! Use Magnet Rise!"

Magnemite did so, electrifying the field and floating away from the ground.

"Hey!" Ash called. "I looked it up before I came here—Magnemite shouldn't be able to use that move at its current level!"

"Kid, I've got so many retired Pokémon it's not even funny," Lt. Surge said, hooking a thumb behind him. "Those guys teach these guys a thing or two, like this move. You wanna complain about it, or are you going to rethink your strategy?"

Rethinking a strategy would be a good idea.

Especially when it fell right into the lap of Darkrai's plan B.

"Patches!" Ash called, prompting him to pop up right beneath the Magnemite. "Return! Charmander, back out there!"

"You're killing me, kid."

Ash had to fight to keep from visualizing a big black irate Pokémon opposite of him. "Charmander, use Ember in that hole!"

Charmander obliged.

Lt. Surge looked like he was trying very hard not to laugh again. "Magnemite, dodge it."

Magnemite simply drifted sideways.

"Up the power, Charmander!"

"Kid, your trick's not working."

"Did you seriously think Patches dug a straight tunnel?"

Lt. Surge had just enough time to register alarm when the field suddenly erupted in fire.


	21. Volt Tackle

**Chapter 21, everybody! In which the battle with Lt. Surge is resolved and Ash has a moment of crisis….**

 **And drat it all, the thing repeated** **—that's what I get for not checking the preview right away like I usually do. Thank you, first two reviewers, for pointing that out, it's fixed now.**

 **Dunkaccino, thanks for the review! Perhaps—I didn't follow the Sinnoh season all that closely, so I'm not sure. I'm going with helicopter—helicopters can fly. :D**

 **Aegorm, thank you for the review and the input! I'll try to incorporate that when I can—I'm not sure if Darkrai or Pikachu would know or care how humans quantify the data, and I think Ash and Brock might just take what the Pokédex says at face value without fully understanding the mechanics behind it (like how we understand the basics of how a car works, but if we were asked to fix one, we wouldn't know)—maybe Professor Oak would be the one who explains it at the depth you provided (Darkrai explaining it would probably end up sounding like** ** _"It's a bunch of numbers to make humans feel better. Now throw that stupid thing away"_** **). Thanks again! :D**

 **Dragonkeeper10, thanks for the review! Yes! Get the fire extinguisher! D:**

 **Foreman88, thanks for the review! Thank you, I'm glad you like it! I enjoy writing humor, so I'm glad it carries through. :)**

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! Yes…although I wonder how much maturity we can honestly expect from a ten-year-old most likely living in a society where adults are twenty (which brings up the question of how society is structured in the Pokémon world—obtaining a personal Pokémon can't be a sign of adulthood, considering we see preschoolers with their own Pokémon. And then we take their money…).**

 **Luktopius, thanks for the review! Well….**

 **ChangelingRin, thanks for the review! Yes it will….And thank you! I shall!**

 **Pokeevee57, thanks for the review! Yes! That's actually quite surprising….**

 **Wings of an Eternal Blaze, thanks for the review! That's actually an accurate assessment of the end of that chapter….**

 **Yami-Chan and Unrealistic, thanks for the review! Eheheh….Yes! Darkrai's a bad influence, apparently….Perhaps. *also shrugs***

 **Calzifer, thanks for the review! I think Frenzy has that effect on everyone. Thank you! I love writing for him. :D Thank you! I try to keep a good buffer going so I don't have schedule slip (although I tend to fail when inspiration doesn't return to me before the buffer runs out—we've got a good twenty more chapters on this before that's a problem, though). Thank you, I will! Same to you! :D**

 **Chermayne, thanks for the review! Thank you—hopefully this fits the bill! :D**

 **Thanks for the review, guest! Yes, Ash using his head—one of the signs the world will end (or maybe that's the Clefairy talking—get away from my keyboard, you…).**

 **IceDragonGirl36, thanks for the review! Yes, Frenzy should—but will he? Thank you! Hopefully that gets answered this chapter….**

 **Ardtornismyname, thanks for the review! Soon….**

 **Thanks for the review, Gust! Good question—it** ** _is_** **my intention to intimate the identity of Ash's father in this story….Ha! Except—going through fan-canon on here, that isn't too far out to left field (I've seen it mentioned that Ash might have a Lucario father, although how the logistics for a human/Pokémon interaction in that regard work is beyond my willingness to imagine). Perhaps Ash is a young Darkrai hiding under a Zoroark illusion (Delia, perhaps), and Darkrai is his erstwhile father come back to take him off her hands….*mind blown***

 **Potina Septum, thanks for the review! I…have never figured that out either. *looks up* Okay, I just looked it up on Serebii (my computer doesn't like Bulbapedia for some reason), and she learns Moonblast, which is her only offensive Fairy move, at Level 99, and she can learn Signal Beam and Fury Cutter via Move Tutor, which are both Bug moves, but that would also require her being 1) faster than Darkrai, and 2) being more evasive than Darkrai. Darkrai can easily outspeed her, but she** ** _does_** **start out with Double Team, so if she could get that in….Although in my reasoning for my Pokémon stories, Darkrai are frequently hunted down by humans, rendering them endangered, so it could be that Cresselia has humans helping her out frequently, and before all that the two species just minded their own business. Who knows. Thank you, I'm glad you like the story thus far! Ah, yes—that's probably the problem with Pokémon who see the future all the time: they don't understand the immediate effect they're having. I am too. :D Thank you! I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

 **Transformers © Hasbro ("Autobot used Rollout! It's super effective!")**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **In other news, the fire raging in the small village of Boonhicks has finally come to a halt. The Pokémon League would like to take this opportunity to remind everyone of the dangers of having a Fire type in the house. Please keep your Fire types in an asbestos-lined Pokémon kennel at least ten feet away from your residence. Asbestos kennels can be purchased at any hardware store.**

The hole dug underneath Magnemite had been a blind, one designed to collapse right after the first use.

Which meant that the second, more powerful Ember burst through the multiple holes that Patches had dug but not quite completed, taking Magnemite and Lt. Surge completely flat-footed.

"Magnemite is unable to battle," the referee observed. "This round goes to Charmander!"

"All right!" Ash cheered. "Good job, Charmander!"

"Don't get cocky, kid," Lt. Surge said, tossing out another Pokéball. "You've got two more Pokémon to deal with."

Ash blinked—for a moment, he thought that Lt. Surge had tossed out another larger Pokéball.

And then he saw the eyes.

"Voltorb, Rollout!" Lt. Surge ordered.

Ash had to resist another reference, instead ordering Charmander to dodge. Charmander did so, barely.

"Add a Charge on that, Voltorb," Lt. Surge called.

Great. Now it was a rolling electro-ball.

"Charmander, return!" Ash said, using the Pokéball this time. "Patches, get out there and use Dig!"

Patches dove into his old hole just in time to avoid being run over.

"You know what the Voltorb line is famous for, kid?" Lt. Surge asked as Voltorb rolled to the center of the field. "Exploding."

And it did.

Ash hit the deck, Pikachu beneath him.

"Thing about your earlier trick," Lt. Surge said—Ash barely heard him over the ringing in his ears. "It weakened the floor enough that it didn't provide much protection—your Pokémon's either fainted or flat as a Stunfisk."

Ash blinked as Voltorb rolled out of the pit it had created. "What the—"

Lt. Surge was stunned too. Ash couldn't even speak as Patches gave one final nudge, sending the fainted Voltorb rolling out of bounds.

"Wow," Ash noised. "Patches, you're…bigger…."

Patches had finally evolved into a Nidorino.

He still had his namesake patch though, which Ash saw when Patches tossed his head before collapsing in a dead faint.

"Good job, Patches," Ash said, recalling the new Nidorino as the referee called it. "Ready, Pikachu?"

"Pika!" Pikachu declared, jumping to the edge of the pit.

"Go, Raichu!" Lt. Surge ordered. The larger orange mouse Pokémon obliged, standing on the other side of the pit.

This was it—Charmander didn't have enough health left to pose a decent threat to Raichu—it was either Pikachu or nothing.

"Okay Pikachu," Ash muttered. "Remember what we talked about—nail him fast, and don't let him touch you."

"Pika!" Pikachu said, cheeks sparking.

And with that, he dashed into action, running around the pit rather than risk slowing down on the uprise.

Raichu slapped him away with its long tail.

"Try again, Pikachu!"

Pikachu did so, using Quick Attack from every angle. Raichu was able to block most of the attacks, but more kept getting in—

"Enough of this," Lt. Surge ordered. "Raichu, overload that little mouse."

Raichu let out a wild call before unleashing a devastating Thunder attack.

Pikachu dodged, but the attack was strong and widespread enough to hit.

 _"Pika!"_

"Pikachu!" Ash yelled—Pikachu was practically glowing; he could _see_ the little Pokémon's skeleton—

"Better quit now, kid," Lt. Surge said. "Pikachu don't have the storing capacity that Raichu have—it'll fry in the next minute."

Ash scrabbled frantically for an idea—

"Pikachu! Use Quick Attack and Slam into that Raichu! Give that electricity back to him!"

Pikachu ran, the excess electricity lending him extra speed—

Woah.

"Volt Tackle!?" Lt. Surge yelped, stunned.

Raichu was caught off guard too—it was saved from devastating damage by dint of typing, but the attack still did a number on it.

"You okay, Pikachu?" Ash asked.

"Pika," Pikachu gasped—he wasn't glowing, so that was a good thing.

"Okay…." Regroup—need some thinking time. "Use Iron Tail on the ground and then Tail Whip."

Pikachu did so, producing a mild sandstorm and sending it Raichu's way.

"Tail Whip to clear it, then Thunder again," Lt. Surge ordered.

No way. Not in this life.

"Pikachu, Quick Attack with Slam and Iron Tail," Ash threw out. "Don't let it recover!"

Pikachu did so with earnest—he knew what would happen if he got hit with Thunder again.

Not today.

Raichu let off electricity in an attempt to stave off the smaller Pokémon, but Iron Tail kept the electricity focused and sent to the ground in the form of Electro Ball, thus perpetuating the sand blind. They simply couldn't afford to let it build up a charge again— _keep at it, Pikachu!—_

And then a final hit, and Raichu was down for the count.

"Yes!" Ash cheered. Pikachu did so too, then keeled over from exhaustion.

"As the challenger still has a Pokémon remaining, Ash Ketchum wins!" the referee declared.

Ash breathed a sigh of relief before running over to Pikachu.

"You okay, Pikachu?" Ash asked, picking the little Pokémon up.

"Chaa," he noised.

"There'll be a victory party involving ketchup…."

Pikachu instantly perked up at that.

"Hey kid."

Ash looked up to see Lt. Surge standing in front of him after recalling Raichu. He had a hand extended; Ash shifted his hold on Pikachu so he could shake it.

"Good match, kid," Lt. Surge said. "No one's given me a good challenge in forever. And since you won, you get this."

And he handed Ash a Thunder Badge.

"Awesome," Ash breathed, before being tackled by an ecstatic Misty and a more reserved Brock.

"I didn't doubt you for a second," Misty said.

"She did," Brock corrected. "The whole round with Raichu was 'I can't look—tell me when it's over.'"

Misty whacked Brock upside the head.

"Nice friends," Lt. Surge observed drily. Very Darkrai-ish.

"There's no accounting for taste," Ash said, deciding to use one of Darkrai's preferred phrases; Lt. Surge laughed appreciatively—yup, most definitely a Darkrai in disguise.

"Kid," Lt. Surge said, rubbing under his nose as he wound down from his laugh. "I don't want to keep you from the Pokémon Center, but I have to ask—where did you get that Pikachu?"

Huh? "From Professor Oak," Ash said. "He's my starter."

"And where did Professor Oak get him?"

Good question. Ash looked down at Pikachu, who shrugged. "He was chewing on wires at Professor Oak's lab."

"So he's wild?"

"He used to be. Where is this going?"

"That move he used earlier, when he was overloaded—that was Volt Tackle. It's only in the Pikachu line, and only available through special breeding. I think there's more to his story than just being wild-caught."

"Is there?" Ash asked Pikachu, who shrugged once more.

"Tell you what, kid," Lt. Surge said. "You go get your Pokémon healed and rest up—tomorrow I want you back here bright and early."

Ash blinked. "Uh, why?"

Lt. Surge cracked a grin. "Because you impressed me, kid. Come back tomorrow, and me and my 'mons will help your Pikachu master that Volt Tackle."

* * *

Lt. Surge had called ahead to the Pokémon Center, apparently—not only did the nurse not laugh when Ash told her he had won, but had also directed them to a hotel with a few rooms open and prepaid (since the Pokémon Center was packed full of previous challengers). Granted, it wasn't a _great_ hotel—the rooms were small and needed a new paint job—but it was an improvement over sleeping in a sleeping bag on dirt in the middle of nowhere.

Even better, Ash's room had a window for him to chat with Darkrai, freshly returned from his little trip, as Charmander, Patches, and Pikachu recovered—the nurse wanted them to stay overnight for observation. He wasn't _too_ miffed at the moment—he was too busy giving Darkrai the play-by-play of the gym battle.

He cumulated the story with showing Darkrai the Thunder Badge. "And Lt. Surge says he'll help Pikachu learn Volt Tackle, too," Ash finished, sighing happily.

 ** _"Good for you,"_** Darkrai observed, examining the badge.

"You could at least _sound_ happy."

 ** _"It's not in my vocal capabilities."_**

Ash flopped down on the bed, mentally beat.

When he did, he noted the discrepancy.

"I just realized," Ash said, sitting back up. "This is the first time in a while that I've been anywhere without Pikachu."

 ** _"Don't tell me you miss the yellow rat."_**

"I do."

Vee—who, like Lenny and Frenzy, was out of his Pokéball (and in Lenny's case, in a fish bowl)—jumped into Ash's lap and gave a low murmur, arching his back in a manner that clearly said _pet me and you'll feel better._ Ash did so. And he did, kind of.

At the very least, it enabled him to calm down somewhat and truly absorb the events of the day.

He flopped back down with a sigh.

 ** _"Now what's wrong?"_** Darkrai asked.

"I just realized," Ash said morosely. "Pikachu could have _died_ today—he was overloaded…that could have _fried_ him completely. I would have been burying my starter. And Patches was in the epicenter of an _explosion,_ for crying out loud."

 ** _"Ah,"_** Darkrai noised. **_"It finally sinks in."_**

"Maybe I should quit."

 ** _"Seriously?"_** Darkrai asked, as Vee sat up, startled. **_"You've been wanting to do this for as long as I've known you, and now you want to quit? What do you think you're going to do?"_**

"I don't know," Ash sighed. "But…this was just the third gym—the others are going to be even stronger. What if I can't hack it and get my team killed?"

 ** _"Might I direct you to a term called 'training'? I hear that's what Pokémon trainers are for."_**

"Yeah…but…." Ash propped himself up on his elbows. "You're the one who's always telling me how bad at the job humans are—do Pokémon even _want_ this sort of thing?"

 _"Vee vee!"_

Ash blinked as Vee jumped up on his chest, little Eevee nose inches from his own. He was talking vehemently, although Ash couldn't understand a second of it. He looked to Darkrai for the translation.

 ** _"He says you're an idiot,"_** Darkrai supplied.

" _Vee!"_ Vee snapped.

 ** _"Fine—he says these sort of things are signals to get stronger, not quit."_**

"That's…pretty deep," Ash admitted. "And apparently Pokémon language is pretty condense."

 ** _"Add yet another reason Pokémon are superior,"_** Darkrai said, listening as Vee continued. **_"He also says that every… good trainer has a moment like you're having—that recognizing a brush with death is important to your growth. At this point, you could quit—or you could make sure that next time you're strong enough that it won't be a problem. All Pokémon have the desire to grow stronger, and travelling with trainers is the best way for them, for the most part. All right, that's enough—I'm not translating sappy stuff."_**

"That's okay, I get the picture," Ash said, petting Vee. "Thanks, Vee."

"Ee _vee_ ," Vee noised, curling up on Ash's chest.

Ash glanced at Lenny and Frenzy—the former looked relieved, while the other looked like he always did—before laying back down. "Well," he noised. "I guess the next step is to go learn with Lt. Surge."

 ** _"I like that guy,"_** Darkrai declared. " ** _I can't put my claw on it, but I like him."_**

"That reminds me—I have a theory I've been working on for a while: is there such a thing as an underground Darkrai community?"

 ** _"Oh sure—we pay visits and throw parties all the time."_**

"I knew it."


	22. Move Tutor

**Chapter 22, everybody! In which we start referencing game mechanics and a few other pertinent world-building points—or at least, my version. I'm going with the whole** ** _there was a big war before the first Pokémon game_** **theory (I actually wrote up a paper on the matter—I ought to finish it and post it on DeviantArt), so there's going to be mention of that. I use that particular theory in more than one of my Pokémon stories too, which is why there's mention of a guy named Klendaniel from Hoenn (who gets a bigger role in a different story I'm working on,** ** _Tales of Midway Jewel_** **). To round it off, Level 100 medals and retirement medals, which are more for humans than they are Pokémon, so trainers can tell at a glance whether or not** ** _that one_** **is participating (again, personal world-building, which has Level 100s not participate in day-to-day battles due to the sheer power backing them).**

 **Is that it? That's it. Moving on!**

 **Thank you first handful of reviewers for pointing out that I had made an editing error last chapter—that'll teach me to just post without double-checking the preview. ^^;**

 **Zum1UDontNo, thanks for the review! And thanks for that—I fixed it shortly after seeing your review, but a few other people saw it due to that thirty-minute delay to editing. Oops. ^^;**

 **KitsuneShin0bi, thanks for the review, and for pinpointing my editing error. Thanks again! ;)**

 **ChangelingRin, thanks for the review! Yes, I know—I had fixed it before you reviewed, but FanFiction's editing delay meant it still showed up for some people. Moving on! Yes! A Nidorino and a Pikachu that** ** _really_** **packs a punch! :D Good question—we shall see. Actually, I am—whenever I write up a battle, I open up Serebii (since my computer likes it better) and scroll through the move list so I have an idea of what the Pokémon can be expected to do at the level they're at (fun fact: even with the Gen 1 move list, Charmander knew the highest-tier moves a Charmander could learn, which would put him at Level 45+** ** _before_** **he evolved—no wonder Ash had problems with him). You would think, and I do explain it more in this chapter, but reading up on how Pikachu learns Volt Tackle, there are two options: firstly, from a move tutor, like Ash is doing; secondly, through breeding, which Lt. Surge touches on. Through breeding, the move can be learned at Level 1, and through a move tutor, the move can be learned at any level. So, technically, Pikachu could know the move this early (I'm not going with that whole 'this move is not yet unlocked' thing because I could never make sense of that, so it's game logic we're using here). I do too—I blame Dragonsrule18 and their story** ** _When One Door Closes, Two More Open_** **, since they did something similar; I just took notes. :)**

 **Dunkaccino, thanks for the review! Yes, I noticed—don't worry, it's fixed now.**

 **Luktopius, thanks for the review! No, not at all. Unless, of course, Darkrai wasn't fibbing….**

 **Wings of an Eternal Blaze, thanks for the review! Maybe. :)**

 **Beautiful-Liar13, thanks for the review! Me too….I guarantee the Muk will show up, and I'll take that into account.**

 **Yami-chan and Unrealistic, thanks for the review! Thank you, glad you like it! And yes, he does. :D Ah, thank you—I figured it would work, since that's how it popped up when writing it, so I'm glad it's being received well. Thank you—it should be. :)**

 **Illythir, thanks for the review! Thank you, glad you like! Yes…good question—we shall find out this chapter….**

 **Dragonkeeper10, thanks for the review! Yes…and yes, and yes. Thank you, I did too. :D**

 **XT3100, thanks for the review! Thank you, I'm glad you like him! I have a lot of fun writing for him. :D**

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! Thanks, I'm glad you liked it, and the talk as well. Hopefully. Yes….**

 **IceDragonGirl36, thanks for the review! Good question…and possibly. Maybe. Well, here it is! *hands over some tissues***

 **Johnny Spectre, thanks for the review! I'm not sure…we'd have to see….**

 **Thanks for the review(s), guest(s)! Glad you're liking the story! :D**

 **Thanks for the review, Gust! Eh, that could work too….Hopefully this continues to please! *tips hat***

 **IAmUmbreon11, thanks for the review! I know, right? Although that's probably true….Aha, according to game logic, if Ash ended the battle with Charmander still in the red and not fainted (and he did return him before he fainted), then Ash could still conceivably win even with two double knockouts. Every day! :D**

 **Ardtornismyname, thanks for the review! Not for a while—it took Togepi a handful of episodes to hatch, and comparing the egg step counter, Riolu requires three times as many steps (you know, if it's even a Riolu—a few people brought up some good points about it being a different egg the Lucario were guarding…).**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

 ** _Flushed Away_** **© 2006 Aardman Studios/DreamWorks**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **In other news, the Unovan sentient cloud has been spotted above Hoenn. This has caused a mass exodus to Hoenn by the cult following of the sentient cloud. Thus far, no one has made it to Hoenn proper, as they have been detained upon arrival at the midway point of Midway Jewel. Chief Inspector Neilson Klendaniel is unavailable for comment at this time. This is in no small part due to all reporters arriving on the island also being detained.**

Ash ran to pick Pikachu, Patches and Charmander up bright and early the next morning—having Vee curled up next to him was comforting, but he missed his starter.

"Hi, Pikachu," Ash said, running up to the counter where Pikachu was sitting and eating apples. "Did you miss me?"

"Cha," Pikachu said around a mouthful.

"I give your Pokémon a clean bill of health," the nurse declared.

"So nothing bad from the battle yesterday?" Ash asked.

"No. If I thought they weren't healthy, they wouldn't be out here."

Ash resisted scowling at her in favor of peeking in on Charmander and Patches—still in their Pokéballs—and returning them to their place on his belt. That done, he couldn't help but pet Pikachu, mostly to assure himself that he was all right.

"You okay, little buddy?" Ash asked, making especially sure to scratch between Pikachu's ears.

"Cha," Pikachu said, taking another bite of apple.

"Listen, I talked with the guys, and…if you don't want to keep at this battling business, I won't blame you."

Ash very nearly had to give Pikachu the Heimlich—the little electric mouse did a sort of held-in spit take.

"Don't make me come back over there," the nurse chided.

This time Ash did scowl at the nurse. "Are you okay?" Ash asked, thumping Pikachu lightly on the back.

Pikachu swallowed, nodded, and then electrocuted him.

"Chansey, we have another trainer case," the nurse sighed.

A pink egg-shaped Pokémon toddled over, applied what Ash could only guess was Heal Pulse, handed him a Cheri Berry, and then went on its way.

Before Ash could comment on the odd occurrence, an apple core bounced off his head.

"Pika pika _pi-KA!"_ Pikachu scolded, looking very angry. Ash wouldn't have been surprised if he learned Mega Punch on the spot.

"Yeah, that's what the others said too," Ash said, trying to scratch the back of his neck but finding it hard to do with his hat on backwards. "Well, if we're going to go on being stupid idiots, we might as well train for it. Ready for Lt. Surge?"

" _Pika!"_

And with that, Pikachu jumped on his shoulder, and they headed out.

* * *

Ash and Pikachu ran right into Misty and Brock as soon as they left.

"Oh, good, Pikachu's all right," Misty observed, scratching Pikachu behind the ears.

"Was there ever a doubt?" Ash asked.

"And I quote her yesterday: _tell me when it's over,"_ Brock said, prompting Misty to glare at him.

"So what are you guys' plans for the day?" Ash asked as they headed for the gym.

"We're coming with you to the gym, silly," Misty pointed out.

Brock nodded. "Lt. Surge mentioned that Pikachu learn Volt Tackle only through certain breeding. As a future Pokémon breeder, that interests me."

Ash nodded. Okay, that made sense….

"I checked the billboard this morning," Misty continued. "And the _S.S. Anne_ doesn't leave until next week. So for once, we can tool around a bit without having to worry too much. I want to get a disposable camera or two for the trip. And maybe a swimsuit."

Ash pictured her in a swimsuit only to remind himself that—despite her roughing it without much complaint, Misty was a _girl._ He quickly edited the mental picture to have her in a girl's one-piece.

"Pika?" Pikachu asked, noticing Ash's color change.

"N-nothing," Ash stuttered, pulling his hat brim low on his face.

"I figure I'll stock up on supplies again," Brock mentioned. "Hey, Ash, maybe you ought to come with me when you're done with Lt. Surge—trainers with certain numbers of badges get access to better supplies."

"Really?" Ash asked, pushing his hat brim back up.

"Yep—I think you can get access to Full Heal and Full Restore with six badges, but don't quote me; I'll have to read up on it again."

"Awesome," Ash noised—he didn't know what those things did, but the names implied that they'd be great to have handy.

"Yeah—once you get those, you don't have to carry around fifty different supplies."

"Wouldn't it be good to have the specialized stuff anyway?" Misty asked.

"Need I remind you who is _carrying_ said supplies?"

"Point taken."

"Well, we're here," Ash announced, looking up at the gym. "Let's go."

And with that, he knocked on the door.

"The sign says they're closed," Misty observed.

"Huh," Ash noised before knocking again.

A young guy—probably a gym trainer—opened the door.

"Are you Ash?" the guy asked.

"Yeah," Ash said, confused.

"Lt. Surge is expecting you. Go around the building to the next door."

"'Nine-fifty-five'?" Ash queried.

"And you get something much better than a Happiny meal. Now get going before the Bug Pokémon get in."

They walked around the building. It wasn't as impressive as the front façade—from this angle, it looked like a warehouse.

"This must be the door," Brock observed as they approached a rust-red door. Ash knocked experimentally.

Within short order, Lt. Surge answered the door.

"So, you're here," he observed. "Ready for basic training?"

"As I'll ever be," Ash said.

"All right then—come in."

Upon doing so, Ash decided right away that the gym was a converted warehouse. This back area was still rough, metal and beams, not fixed up like the front was.

What held Ash's focus, however, was the number of Electric Pokémon scattered about.

"Awesome," Ash noised, instantly reaching for his Pokédex. Some he recognized—like Pikachu, Raichu, and Magnemite. But others, like the blue and yellow dog Pokémon in front of him, he didn't.

Unfortunately, neither did the Pokédex.

"I think this thing is junk," Ash declared, shaking it.

"If you're just starting out, then that thing won't recognize Manectric," Lt. Surge said. "He's from the Hoenn Region—a spoil of war, so to speak. Heheh, snitched him right out from under Klendaniel's nose…that was a good day."

"The Hoenn Region?" Ash asked.

"You stole that away from _Klendaniel?"_ Brock asked.

"I'll tell you my war stories later," Lt. Surge said, waving them off. "First, let's get your Pikachu training."

And with that, he turned to the warehouse and whistled.

"Volt, come here!" he called. "Vine, go get Shocky."

"You nickname your Pokémon?" Misty asked.

"Most of them," Lt. Surge said. "I can't use the names in official battles though—something about professionalism."

"That stinks," Ash opined.

But his next statement was cut off by the arrival of the absolute _biggest_ Raichu Ash had ever seen. Its head came up to his chest, and it had on a collar with gold and silver medallions on it—Level 100 and retirement medals. It was missing an eye, and had several scars marring its graying fur.

"Oh wow," Ash breathed, a sentiment echoed by Pikachu. This thing had _presence._

"This is Volt," Lt. Surge said, petting the Raichu affectionately; it leaned into the touch. "He was my starter when I joined the army—saved my life on more than one occasion. Now he helps me train the new gym Pokémon."

The Raichu from the battle yesterday ran forward, dragging a Pichu along behind it.

"Thanks, Vine," Lt. Surge said.

"Vine?" Misty echoed.

"When he was little he wanted to learn Vine Whip. I have no idea why."

"So this is, what?" Brock asked, crouching in front of the Pichu. "Third-generation gym Pokémon?"

"Fourth, actually." When he noticed Ash's confused expression, he continued. "The more a Pokémon battles, the stronger they get. Eventually, the gyms have to retire them from normal battles, otherwise it'd be unfair. We have to adjust to the expected level of the challenger—League rules."

"So if I had had three badges?" Ash asked.

"I would have used Vine's parents," Lt. Surge affirmed, pointing at a Raichu and a Pikachu across the way. "And don't let your guard down around him," he added, looking at Brock. "There's a reason I call him Shocky."

"And why's— _yeeoh!"_ Brock yelped, receiving a shock from the Pichu.

"Ouch," Misty noised, sounding like she was holding in a laugh.

"Enough of that, Shocky," Lt. Surge said. "You and Volt are going to demonstrate Volt Tackle, all right?"

"Pichu," Shocky noised, following Volt to a clear spot in the room.

"You're not going to have that Raichu attack that Pichu, are you?" Misty asked, borderline appalled.

"Just watch," Lt. Surge ordered.

Volt planted himself on the floor as Shocky sprinted away. When he got far enough, he turned around and charged Volt, screaming a war cry—

And then he was enveloped in yellow electricity, and crashed square into Volt.

Volt sneezed, rubbed his nose, and then patted Shocky on the head.

"Volt's old enough and strong enough that he just absorbs electrical attacks," Lt. Surge explained. "And physical attacks don't do much anymore. Now then," he said, turning his attention to Pikachu. "Think you can manage?"

"Pika!" Pikachu said, jumping off of Ash's shoulder and running over to Volt and Shocky.

"So what do I do?" Ash asked, watching the complete Pikachu line have an animated conversation.

"You three," Lt. Surge said, indicating all of them. "Are going to be learning some self-defense."

"I took some at Cerulean City," Misty said.

"Why do we need _that?"_ Ash asked.

In response, Lt. Surge rolled up a sleeve. There were huge scars lancing up and down his arm.

"Your Pokémon will do their level best to protect you, but sometimes, they get tied up in a battle," Lt. Surge explained. "You have to be sure that when that happens, you can protect yourself too. For example." He grabbed Ash and pinned him in a headlock against his chest. "Would your Pokémon risk attacking me when they could hit you?"

Ash gave that some thought. "Well…."

"You're not serious."

"Ash's training style is…eclectic," Brock supplied.

Lt. Surge sighed. _"Right._ Well, let's start with how to get out of a headlock…."

* * *

Pikachu and Ash flopped into the bed, exhausted.

 ** _"You look well_ ,**" Darkrai observed.

Ash managed to get his face out of his pillow. "While Pikachu was learning Volt Tackle, Lt. Surge was training _me."_

" ** _And how did the move session go?"_**

 _"I didn't get it,"_ Pikachu moaned.

"We have to go back," Ash said. "We've got a week until the _S.S. Anne_ leaves, and Lt. Surge thinks it'll take the whole week."

 ** _"What, did you think there'd be some beeping and then he'd just know it?"_** Darkrai asked.

 _"That would be nice,"_ Pikachu muttered, not opening his eyes.

"I don't _wanna_ learn this stuff," Ash said. "We have Pokémon battles, not trainer battles—I'd rather be helping Pikachu get Volt Tackle than learning how to get out of a headlock."

 ** _"Don't be stupid,"_** Darkrai scolded. **_"What if you get caught without anyone around? You should learn to defend yourself."_**

 _"Aw, he does care,"_ Pikachu said.

 ** _"Shut it, you yellow rat."_**

"Gnhs, stpffghn," Ash half-murmured, before completely falling asleep.

 _"Now that looks like a good idea,"_ Pikachu said, curling up next to him. _"Good night, scary dude."_

Darkrai blinked, more than a little irritated that _he_ had been basically brushed off.

And then he drifted to a lower roof to puzzle out just _why_ it was bothering him.

It didn't take long to figure out.

It was simple, really—he, once again, was being ostracized. Not on purpose, but the way the boy was drifting away and making _new friends_ pretty much left Darkrai by himself once more. Heaven help him, he had even tried buying his friendship back with that egg—

He hopped up and used Shadow Claw on a nearby brick wall. Why did _he_ care? The kid was an aggravation! An annoyance! He had been trying to figure out how to get rid of him for _ages!_ And lo and behold, it was happening without him having to lift a claw! So what was his beef with this gift falling into his lap?

And then the awful truth hit him with the force of a Body Slam.

He had _liked_ having someone be _happy_ to see _him_ once again.

 ** _"Aw, Muk,"_** he muttered, resting his head against the now-ravaged wall. He had gone and gotten _attached_ to someone—great. Wonderful. Just throw a Pokéball at him and stick a fork in—he was done.

No.

He had moved on before; he would do it again. Up and leave the kid and go on living his own life before it was so rudely interrupted by clingy five-year-olds.

He drifted about, considering. He ought to check the rest of Kanto out, he figured, and find some nice out-of-the-way locations to torment. And avoid that one town with the Psychic trainer in it—not that he was weak to such moves, but she would notice the sudden blot on her radar and investigate, certainly. His peace had been preserved by avoiding such needless confrontation—no reason to go and ruin it now.

He set off with this new plan in mind, forcing himself not to look back. He never looked back.

Looking back hurt too much.


	23. Leader of the Pack

**Chapter 23, everybody! In which Pikachu and Volt have a conversation and sparks fly….We also learn that I don't have a firm grasp on the differences between amperage and voltage, and simply went with whichever one sounded more pleasing at the time. Bear with me. ^^;**

 **The title of this chapter is also the title of a song by the Shangri-Las, by the way.**

 **IAmUmbreon11, thanks for the review! Yup—and yes…well, they're not around anymore….Yes, the Pokémon franchise was a little vague on that matter (I think because they intended everyone who wasn't a main character to be a one-off character?). Thank you, glad you liked, and I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Dunkaccino, thanks for the review! Yes, there seems to be more to him than appears….**

 **Yami-chan and Unrealistic, thanks for the review! Thank you, glad you like—love fan theory myself, and am always open to hearing more. :D I suppose it did get a little heavy compared to early chapters….Haha, thank you. :D**

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! Yes he does. Hmm….**

 **IceDragonGirl36, thanks for the review! Good question…and thank you! :D**

 **Beautiful-Liar13, thanks for the review! Me too….**

 **ChangelingRin, thanks for the review! Haha, I got a kick out of writing that one. :D And thank you! It seemed fitting. :D Perhaps….**

 **QuartSigma, thanks for the review! Thank you, glad you like—I've been having a lot of fun delving into world-building for this story, and taking what's already there and arranging it into something that makes sense according to how our world works, but still accounts for a culture built around city-leveling creatures. :)**

 **Raven DK, thanks for the review! I'm glad you've liked the story so far! :D Does this count as your weekly fix, then?...**

 **Ardtornismyname, thanks for the review! Ah, but you can have more than one reason for doing something….Me too….**

 **Luktopis, thanks for the review! Yes….**

 **Wings of an Eternal Blaze, thanks for the review! Yes! Tell him like it is! :D**

 **Johnny Spectre, thanks for the review! That would be interesting…and yes, he does!**

 **AveragePichu, thanks for the reviews! I have too, which might have been part of the driving force of writing this story—glad you took a chance on it. :) Agreed, mature Ash is…quite common (usually, if I run into a detail of Ash's training regimen, I quit). Don't worry, I have no intention of Ash noticing girls like that. :) Perhaps….And I think the characters are starting to notice that Frenzy isn't as average for Paras as they initially feared….Thank you, glad you liked the Nugget Bridge! Eh, in my experience, Explosion was terrible (and I'm sure Nuzlockers think it's violent). Saying that, it might have been exaggerated a bit here….We're not sure….Yes, I'm surprised at how long the anime is! And how it was to begin with—watched a few of the early episodes for this fic and realized that a** ** _lot_** **of character development has happened in those fifteen years (that is, the characters are likeable—early on, I'm surprised they took off at all with their attitudes).**

 **Madrigal-in-training, thanks for the reviews! Really? Thank you, glad you like Darkrai—I have a ton of fun writing for him. :D Glad you liked the Pokéball touch too. Maybe—I had some idea of what he was saying when I wrote it, but since then….Yes, they were saying that because he was a Dark type. *bricked* And glad you liked the bonding and the starter sorting! :D Yes…he'll be back. Eventually.**

 **Calzifer, thanks for the reviews! Petting Eevee is** ** _very_** **therapeutic. :D No, Ash has no concept of sarcasm just yet (he'll get there eventually). Really? You make me blush. :D Glad you like the Level 100 and League explanations as well (and there's other explanations? I need to find these and compare…).**

 **Thanks for the review, Gust! Yes, he does. Maybe. And maybe. :)**

 **Thanks for the review, Guest! Aw, thank you! You make me blush. :D**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

 ** _Surf's Up_** **© 2007 Ash Brannon & Chris Buck (which means that Volt is officially voiced by Jeff Bridges *bricked*)**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **The Pokémon League would like to remind you that travelling into the long grass without a Pokémon is extremely dangerous. The Pokémon League would also like to remind you that the "survival kits" floating around actually detract from your survival, as Tamato-spray does nothing more than anger the Ursaring you are trying to flee from.**

 _"Augh, this sucks! I'll never get this!"_

So sayeth Pikachu as he flopped down on the ground after another attempted Volt Tackle had resulted in just a simple Tackle. This was his fourth day, and he was running out of time—they'd be leaving soon, and he would have _still_ not mastered it. He was a failure to Pikachu everywhere.

Something tapped on his head, prompting him to look up. Volt looked down at him, scars rippling as he leaned forward. Pikachu unconsciously closed the eye matching Volt's missing one—that just looked downright painful.

 _"You're doing it wrong,"_ Volt told him.

 _"Funnily enough, I figured that out,"_ Pikachu spat.

 _"You misunderstand,"_ Volt said, offering a paw. " _Get up."_

Pikachu did so, ignoring the offered paw.

 _"Take my paw,"_ Volt said, using a tone usually reserved for young hatchlings. Pikachu did so, grumbling.

 _"All right,"_ Volt said, and then started coursing a small electrical current through the both of them. _"First thing's first, we've got to get you used to handling a lot of electricity and then work on your finesse with it. Tell me, what was your biggest Thunderbolt?"_

Pikachu had to think about it. Err, let's see…. _"About a year ago,"_ he said finally. _"I ran into a flock of wild Spearow and gave them a what-for."_

 _"Huh,"_ Volt noised. _"Was that before or after you started traveling with your trainer?"_

 _"Before. I've been travelling with him…about a month, I think?"_

 _"Huh. Ready to up the amperage?"_

 _"I guess,"_ Pikachu said, wincing a bit as the voltage increased. " _So…."_

 _"Yeah. Just relax, feel the flow….So what do you think of your trainer so far?"_

Pikachu glanced over at Ash, who was being spared from headlocks for the moment—he was listening to Lt. Surge tell an animated story about a fight between him and somebody named Klendaniel. _"He's…all right, I guess."_

 _"You don't sound sure."_

 _"I wasn't captured by choice."_

 _"Huh. I thought you were his starter."_

Pikachu looked at Volt, startled. " _How did you know?"_

 _"Trainers and their starters have a certain bond. When you've been around as long as I have, you start to recognize this, one eye or two,"_ he cracked, closing his good eye for a moment in what he must have thought was a wink. _"You two have it, and usually my instincts on the matter are spot-on. I guess they still are. But not by choice?"_

Pikachu scowled at the memory. _"I got lost, separated from my troupe,"_ he explained. _"I was wandering around, trying to find my way, and stopped to chew on some guy's wires for some quick electricity. And while I was distracted, the dope attacked me and captured me. And then to top it all off, he gives me to some yutz kid after I shocked him for poking me!"_

Volt looked mildly amused. _"Yutz kid?"_

 _"Well…he is."_

 _"And after a month of travelling with him, you don't feel differently?"_

Pikachu looked back at Ash. The conversation had ended, and the humans were watching them now. _"Well,"_ he said, turning back to Volt. _"I…I think he's less of a yutz. His heart's in the right place. His head isn't, but his heart is."_

Volt nodded. _"That's the important thing. I know you were probably brought up to believe that being captured by a human is the end of the world, but that's not necessarily true. You get a good human, and you can go places, kid."_

Pikachu nodded, feeling a little uncomfortable—he didn't want to admit it, even to himself, but he had grown to like Ash. He had even missed him when he had been forced to overnight at the Pokémon Center. _"You can up the amperage again,"_ he said, wanting to distract himself.

Volt chuckled. " _I have been—steadily over the course of the conversation."_

Pikachu looked at him, floored. That dirty—

 _"You feel the electricity?"_ Volt asked him.

Pikachu blinked. _"Well, yeah—"_

" _That's the level you need for Volt Tackle,"_ Volt said, letting go. The electricity began to die down. _"Now that you know what to aim for, try again."_

Pikachu started walking away, paused, looked back at Volt. _"That was low,"_ he informed the old Raichu.

Volt chuckled again. _"Don't you know? All's fair in love and war."_

Pikachu blinked again. _"But I'm not fighting a war."_

 _"Not anymore—but if you were born ten years ago, you would have been."_

Pikachu blinked and continued walking.

 _"Hey,"_ Volt called after him as he reached his starting point. _"You're the starter. That means you have more responsibility than any other Pokémon. You have to lead your team, because they will look to you for guidance, and you have to protect your trainer, because he will trust you more than anyone else. It's a lot to live up to. Do you think you can manage?"_

Did he?

That was a lot of responsibility Volt was implying—and Pikachu just simply wasn't ready for that sort of thing. He never wanted anything like that—he had never wanted to be some human's pet. Volt was right—Pokémon caught by humans were never heard from again. He had never wanted to become a statistic. He had been pressganged into this.

But…he…he liked the kid, he realized. Ash and Misty and Brock were good, for humans. And Ash had never _forced_ him to do anything—he'd ask first, give him the option to back out….He had even offered to up and quit, for crying out loud!

All he had wanted was to find home again. Ever since he had gotten separated from his family, that was what he wanted.

And now….

He looked over to Ash, who finally managed to squirm out of a headlock and cheered, thrilled with the victory.

Pikachu turned to face Volt.

 _"Prove it, kid,"_ Volt said, tapping his chest. _"Hit me—right here."_

Pikachu charged, throwing all the frustration and anger and fear and hope into it, screaming his fury at being forced to actually _face_ all these uncomfortable feelings—

He slammed into Volt—

And heard electricity discharged.

He collapsed on the floor from the impact, looked—

To see sparks dancing all over Volt.

"Yes!" Pikachu heard Ash cheer. "You did it, Pikachu! You did it!"

Volt nodded sagely. _"You answered my question,"_ he told Pikachu. _"And you performed that Volt Tackle perfectly._

 _"Now do it again."_


	24. Keep on Truckin'

**Chapter 24, everybody! In which we set sail and touch upon one of the older urban legends surrounding Pokémon….Also, my Mom whistles like Brock does. And what Brock says was the rule in regards to her whistle as well.**

 **Dunkaccino, thanks for the review! Congratulations! :D Thank you, glad you liked it—and Pikachu and Volt's interactions. :D Maybe….**

 **Yami-chan and Unrealistic, thanks for the review! Yes…thank you, glad it came across properly (always struggle with the emotional bits).**

 **ChangelingRin, thanks for the review! Thank you, glad you like him—had some fun writing him. :D Haha, yes—'Stop whining and hit me like you mean it.' Perhaps. :)**

 **Idea Tamer Chaos, thanks for the reviews! Ah, thank you for clearing that up. And thank you for clearing up the bit about Explosion as well—so I take it the Explosion at Bill's was believable (and if you want to add insult to injury, recall all those papers and other flammable materials). So I suppose we can say that close counts with horse shoes, hand grenades, and Explosion as well. :)**

 **Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! I wouldn't know—by the time they reached that part in the anime, my attention wasn't solely focused on it (and then it bounced around a few different stations, so I couldn't catch it if I wanted to). Good question—if you want to compare a similar situation, Hiccup and Toothless from the** ** _How to Train Your Dragon_** **movies are described as being the same age, although we're led to believe that dragons mature faster. In this case, falling on how animals in real life work, we could argue that Pikachu is physically an adult and more than capable of taking care of himself, as he was separated from his troupe and did decently until Professor Oak caught him. Giving him the same maturity rate as an animal of similar size—say a cat—Pikachu could be anywhere from two to three years old. Now, mentally, Pikachu is probably similar to Ash, and it'll probably become more of a thing when he finally gets around to loosening up properly. Yes, character development….**

 **Luktopius, thanks for the review! Eh….Historically, populations tend to explode in victorious countries shortly after a war—consider the Baby Boomers here in America. So to be fair, the war ended ten years and nine months ago—and aside from explaining the lack of gainfully employed adults and the current economic state of affairs in the Pokémon world….Ash has no bearing on the war ending, by the way (if we want to get particular, Gary was born at about the same time).**

 **IAmUmbreon11, thanks for the review! Eh, this one updates regularly because I made sure I had a good buffer going** ** _before_** **I started posting—hopefully this gives me enough leeway to add to this before I run out of chapters (right now I'll run out at about Chapter 40, so hopefully I'll get past that before then). I feel your pain, though. T-T Well…it's an honest assessment. Of course! It's not like Volt actually was hurt by it ('yeah, that tickled. Try again'). Hahaha—that was actually the first one of those I wrote, and it's based on real-life 'tourist survival kits' out in Montana—complete with similar spiel. :D Thanks! I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! Good question….**

 **Madrigal-in-training, thanks for the review! Glad you liked how it was handled—let's be honest: with Pokémon being treated like sentient beings, that's probably the worst fate they could dream of (maybe Team Plasma had a point…).**

 **IceDragonGirl36, thanks for the review! Yes…and good question….**

 **Garm88, thanks for the review! Yes, but I have an explanation for it—I'll probably get it worked in during the Battling Eevee Brothers episode.**

 **Iniziodellastella, thanks for the review! Thank you, glad you like it! Hopefully I'll continue to please! :D**

 **Calzifer, thanks for the review! Thank you, glad you like it—I've been getting varied reviews on the subject, so it's interesting to see how different people react to the leveling and things. I'll peek at that when I get the chance. Aha, thank you—and thank my buffer, too (now if only I'd update before midnight…). Thank you—I will try my best! :D I do too (and I wonder why my e-mail censored 'bugger'…).**

 **Thanks for the review, Gust! Please don't. D:**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **In other news, new legislation for the banning of motor vehicles has been filed following the collision of a delivery truck and a Rhyhorn. Researchers cite this incident as impetus to remove such vehicles altogether, declaring that automobiles are harmful to the environment and to Pokémon. These claims are supported by groups such as PLASMA—"People for the Liberation, Assistance, and Support of Monsters Among us." The incident report states that the driver of the delivery truck is still in critical condition. The Rhyhorn was unharmed.**

It was the end of the week. The _S.S. Anne_ would shortly leave port.

Ash and company were bidding Lt. Surge and his Pokémon goodbye, promising to visit again sometime and to keep practicing.

"I'm expecting a rematch the next time you come by, kid," Lt. Surge told Ash, shaking his hand.

"A rematch as in a Pokémon battle, or more headlocks?" Ash asked.

Lt. Surge laughed. "I like your style, kid—don't ever change."

The general attitude was upbeat as they headed for port, waving goodbye as they went.

* * *

"Wow! It's huge!"

"Of course," Brock said patently as Misty and Ash gawked at the huge cruise ship—Misty was busy trying to capture the whole boat on film. "This ship has to deal with _massive_ waves across _giant_ oceans—it can't be some dinky dinghy."

"Awesome," Misty said, backing up to try and get a long shot.

Ash, meanwhile, darted off.

"Hey!" Brock called. "Where are you going?"

"I have to go check something out!" Ash called back quickly. "Okaybye!"

Brock couldn't help but make a bemused expression as he watched Ash dash off.

"So, I've been giving it some thought," Misty said, still trying to get the perfect angle. "And I came up with an idea for our acronym."

"Let's hear it," Brock said.

"Absurdly Speedy Hairbrain."

Brock gave it some thought. "It's got some charm, but I think we could come up with something better."

"I'll keep thinking then."

* * *

Ash ran around the corner, scrambled through the bushes, and hit the brakes before he shot clear and out over the water.

"There," he said, after a moment of looking, and ran over and slid on the grass so he could see under the truck.

It was rusted red with flat tires, but even in its dilapidated state it was a rarity. Vehicles were uncommon, initially from the demands of the war, but eventually because they became unpopular. Cars and trucks were expensive, and those that were privately owned were often vandalized. It would explain why this one was hidden.

But in actuality, this vehicle was well-known, and so was what was supposedly hidden beneath it.

Ash glanced around, even going so far as to stick his head under to check behind the tires (at the protest of Pikachu, who obviously did not trust this thing), but there was nothing except an old stale cookie, which Ash pocketed after a moment of debate. Other than that, nothing. Not even a hint of something even _being_ there.

Ash sighed and backed out, leaning against the dilapidated truck. It had been a bit of a stretch to expect that Mew would be under there, but it was worth a shot. He could hear Darkrai sneering now….

He sighed again, absently watching the clouds scud across the sky.

"Pika?" Pikachu noised, poking him in the arm before jumping into his lap.

"I drove him away, didn't I?" Ash asked. "I mean, I've been ignoring him, I haven't been making an effort…I can understand why he'd leave."

Pikachu was silent.

"I miss him," Ash continued. "Heh, I can hear him now, too: _You should have thought about that earlier!"_

He sagged again—he had been hoping Darkrai would come along like he usually did, finishing his sentence or making a snide comment about his statement. Okay, so Darkrai wasn't the best friend in the whole wide world—but when he was Ash's _only_ friend for so long….

Pikachu patted his arm, then hopped onto his head and then the hood of the truck.

Ash looked to see Pikachu pressing his face against the windshield.

"I guess we could look inside," Ash mused, standing up and pressing his face against the side window. Nothing. He tried the door. Locked. Nothing in the truck bed, either.

Ash sighed again. Darkrai would have probably broken the window by now.

"Pika!"

Ash looked to see Pikachu on top of the truck, looking down on him with cheeks sparking.

Pikachu launched into what sounded like a tirade, waving his paws around and occasionally pitching his voice deeper. Ash couldn't understand the words, but he could get the gist—Pikachu was talking about Darkrai, and not in a flattering way, either.

"I think I get what you're saying," Ash said to him. "But look at it this way—say you lived with your troupe all your life, and no one liked you but your parents. And then one day this big creepy Pokémon with an attitude like barbed-wire comes along and starts paying attention to you. Sure, you realize that he could be nicer, but you…you end up so _starved_ for attention that you'll take it when it comes."

Pikachu was quiet at that.

Then he jumped at Ash, forcing him to catch him in his arms, then licked Ash on the face.

"Yeah," Ash murmured, rocking the now-purring Pikachu. "I…I just _miss_ him, and I can't shake the feeling that if I had done more, he wouldn't have left."

"Cha," Pikachu noised, rubbing his head against Ash's cheek.

"Pikachu…do me a favor…if you ever leave, please give me advanced warning."

He couldn't help but chuckle a bit at the electric shock Pikachu gave him.

Pikachu's ears perked as the electricity died down; he jumped onto Ash's head, sitting at attention.

And then Ash heard the whistle too.

"What was that?" Ash wondered—there was absolutely _no way_ his mother was in Viridian City—

Pikachu jumped off his head and darted through the bushes.

"Hey! Hey, Pikachu!" Ash yelped, running after him. "Wait for me!"

* * *

"Here he comes," Brock said, pointing.

Misty slapped him upside the head with her free hand. "Next time you whistle like that, _warn me!"_

"Sorry," Brock said, catching Pikachu as he jumped up. Ash skidded to a halt right behind him.

"You guys haven't seen my Mom, have you?" Ash asked. "I thought I heard her whistle, and then Pikachu ran off—"

"That was me," Brock said. He turned to Misty. "I'm going to demonstrate now."

Misty nodded and covered her ears.

Satisfied that he wouldn't get slapped again, Brock put two fingers in his mouth and whistled.

Everyone in the immediate vicinity turned to glare at him.

"Sorry," Brock called. "Just demonstrating for my friend!"

There was muttering as people went back to their business, and Pikachu took the opportunity to shock him.

"Ow," Brock muttered as Pikachu jumped back to Ash's shoulder.

Ash, meanwhile, was rubbing his ears. "Ow. Where did you learn that?"

"From my Mom," Brock explained. "She told us that we couldn't go any farther than her whistle could carry. When she left, I had to pick up the talent quickly."

"Anyway, now that you're here," Misty said. "We've got to go. The _S.S. Anne_ is boarding, and we don't want to be left behind!"

Brock ran after Misty and the already sprinting Ash.

Okay, absurdly speedy worked. This kid could seriously run for track and field.

"We should make it a rule that Ash can't go any farther than your whistle carries," Misty called back to Brock.

Brock nodded. "It's a tried and true technique."

* * *

Darkrai completed his cursory circuit in time to see the _S.S. Anne_ leave port. Somewhere on there, the kid and his new friends were fooling around.

 ** _"Good riddance,"_** Darkrai said, crossing his arms and watching it go.

He fully intended to delude himself for as long as it took to get over the kid.

 ** _"This is going to take a while,"_** he sighed.

But he was startled out of any self-pity he might have worked up by a flock of bird Pokémon flying inland.

 ** _"Hey!"_** he yelled after them. **_"Watch where you're going!"_**

None of them paid him much mind, instead chattering _Storm! Storm! Storm!_ as they flew away.

Do what?

He looked back out to sea to see dark blotches marring the far horizon.

 ** _" That's not good,"_** he observed.

And that dumb ship was heading straight for it.

 ** _"Aw, Muk,"_** he groaned, already starting forward—

No.

He clenched his claws and flew in a different direction. Let the kid's new friends bail him out.

He was done.


	25. Battleship

**Chapter 25, everybody! Sorry for the delay on this—my schedule kicked my can these past two weeks. :( But now you have an extra-long chapter to make up for it, considering I smushed this one and the next together (individually, they were just too short).**

 **ChangelingRin, thanks for the review! Well good, I'm not changing my plans—I've had this scripted and written for quite some time now. Yes, the 'Mew lives under an abandoned truck' thing is an old urban legend—back before the Internet was what it was now, with the original games and no way to (legally) obtain Mew in-game, several different stories popped up regarding ways to obtain Mew, and looking under that truck before the** ** _S.S. Anne_** **left port was one of those supposed ways (it's possible, apparently, if you get someone to trade you a Pokémon that knows Surf, but there's nothing under there—and if I had been thinking of it, I would have had Ash find a stale cookie, since that's what you find in** ** _Fire Red/Leaf Green_** **…maybe I ought to edit real quick…).**

 **Ardtornismyname, thanks for the review! Um…maybe….**

 **Dunkaccino, thanks for the review! Sorry about that—I need to start posting this earlier than midnight….**

 **Luktopius, thanks for the review! Wave as it passes by!**

 **Autumn Affinity, thanks for the review! Yes, come back! The title's kind of pointless without you.**

 **IAmUmbreon11, thanks for the review! But of course. Now if it were a** ** _water_** **truck—*bricked* Yes, well…aha, thank you. Apparently, yes it does. Now consider** ** _Sun/Moon_** **, which actually shows the trainer's position in relation to the Voltorb….Yes…I blame Dragonsrule18 for doing it first. Thank you! I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Grievousrommel, thanks for the review! Yes, but he'll still try….I have another reference I must look up, it seems….**

 **Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! And the piece of information—I had thought he learned it in Sinnoh. *shrug* This is also true…and that's definitely true. As is that. As is that….**

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! Yes….**

 **IceDragonGirl36, thanks for the review! Well…probably….**

 **Yami-chan and Unrealistic, thanks for the review! Yes, but don't tell him that….Thank you, glad it's still entertaining. :D**

 **Delta4phoenix, thanks for the review! Eh….Me too, although my personal reason is because he makes me think of the Shadow. :D And the movie, of course (if I just had the PMD game to go on, he'd be my least favorite though—being a Pikachu in a dungeon full of Lightning-Rod Rhypherior was** ** _not fun_** **).**

 **Johnny Spectre, thanks for the review! But how would you send it?...**

 **AveragePichu, thanks for the review! I figured it was the natural approach, although Darkrai might find it easier if he listened to music….**

 **Cjonwalrus, thanks for the review! I agree—definitely a fun Pokémon to write about. :D**

 **RamenKnight, thanks for the review! And thank you for liking it—I hope to continue to please! :D And congratulations on being the 300th review. :D**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

 ** _A-Team_** **© 1983 Stephen J. Cannell & Frank Lupo**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **The creators of _Wreck-It Rypherior_ are pleased to announce that a sequel is in the works. Mark your calendars now so as to avoid missing it. Brought to you by Fangdango—where the sight of a Raticate is a good thing!**

The uniformed man at the gangplank took their tickets and exchanged them for room keys.

After goofing off on deck and reenacting scenes from the movie _Titanic_ (although Misty pointed out that probably wasn't wise, considering that ship's fate), the first thing they did was head for their rooms.

Well, one room, since Ash was the first one to reach the door and unlock it.

"Oooh," Ash noised upon entering. "Very…very…."

"Posh?" Misty guessed.

"High-class?" Brock offered.

"Expensive," Ash settled on. "Look at that _bed_ ," he said, depositing his backpack and flopping backwards onto the bed. "Ohoho, this feels _good."_

"Let me see," Brock said, sloughing his backpack before flopping down next to him. "Oooh, this does feel good…."

Misty joined them. "It doesn't beat my waterbed," she said after a few moments.

"You have a _waterbed?"_ Ash asked, awed.

"I lived in a Water-type gym; of course I did."

"I want one," Ash muttered.

"Pika," Pikachu noised, rubbing his face against the soft sheets.

"You have to admit, this does beat a dirt bed," Brock said.

"Or a brick bed," Ash added.

"Wake me when we get there," Misty said.

Ash forced himself up. "We can sleep later! I heard one of those guys say that this was a trainer cruise! That means this ship is chock-full of trainers to battle! Ready, Pikachu?"

"Ka," Pikachu said, voice muttered by dint of his face being buried in the sheets.

"Ash is right," Brock said, sitting up as Ash retrieved his backpack. We'll have time later to sleep—there's still plenty of ship to explore."

"Aw man," Misty muttered, following the boys out.

A few moments later, Ash reentered, picked up a protesting Pikachu, and left again, ignoring the minor electric shock he was receiving.

* * *

Deep in a portion of the _S.S. Anne_ , plotting was progressing.

"I can't believe we got stuck with dis job," Meowth muttered, using his claws to tap a keyboard one key at a time. The glamor of receiving such a job had faded once they got to the fiddly logistics portion of it, which constituted a good ninety percent of the job. So much for the awesome promotion.

"The boss thought you earned it, what with all the Pokémon you've been presenting," a grunt said, giving his new Spearow a glance before returning to his keyboard. "And your team has a good track record with machines."

"We were busy with another assignment," Jessie told the grunt; she too had lost the rose-colored glasses upon getting to the grind of the assignment.

"Everyone is. Heheh, I tell you though, Cassidy and Butch were livid when they found out _you_ got this assignment."

Meowth wouldn't have been surprised if Jessie started purring right then and there. She and Cassidy had a rivalry that apparently started before he had met her.

He decided right then and there that female Pokémon were bad enough to try to figure out—he wasn't even going to _try_ fathoming female humans.

"The machines are ready to go!" James declared happily, emerging from a side room.

"Perfect!" Jessie said. "Now we just wait for these trainers to weaken each other's Pokémon, and then they'll be ripe for the taking!"

Meowth couldn't help but chortle as he rubbed his paws.

He just loved it when a plan came together.

* * *

Ash tried very hard not to be dismissive of the trainers that he faced in the main room. Instead, he used the weaker ones to grind some more, focusing on training Lenny and Charmander. Lenny was due for evolution—he was sure of it.

But after beating an older man's Raticate—he had to switch in Patches for it—the challenges he received died off considerably. After he noticed that people were pointedly avoiding him, he gave up and hit the buffet.

"Get your fill?" Misty asked as he came over to their table.

"Of?" Ash asked, confused.

"Battling—I can tell you didn't get your fill of _food_ ," she said, indicating his overfilled plate as he sat down.

Ash ignored her for a moment of silence before digging in. "I stopped getting challenges, so I figured I could eat some—wow, this is good."

"I understood maybe every fifth word of that."

"Don't talk with your mouth full," Brock scolded. "And don't eat so fast—you'll choke."

Ash shrugged—he hadn't _yet._ And besides, if he dallied in eating, Darkrai would often employ Shadow Sneak to steal his food when Ash's mother wasn't looking.

Ash swallowed; great. He had almost forgotten—

Misty glanced over at some outburst, scowling; Ash took a moment to take a drink of Poké-Cola.

"Boy, that kid's loud," Misty observed. Ash leaned to see who she was looking at.

He just managed to divert his head in time so his spit take didn't spew all over Misty or Brock.

"I _told_ you you'd choke yourself," Brock said, thumping Ash on the back as he coughed and spluttered.

"What is it?" Misty asked.

Ash finally managed to inhale and answer.

"Gary Oak."

Before Misty could react, Ash was up and running, Pikachu just managing to jump off the table and onto his shoulder as he passed.

Ash fished in his pocket as he approached Gary—taunting yet another poor sap.

"Hey Gary!" Ash hollered, finding what he was looking for.

He threw the nugget at Gary as he turned, startled. Gary caught it out of reflex and held it up.

"Huh," Gary noised, tossing it back. "Well, Ashy-boy, got lucky, didn't you? I softened 'em up for you."

"I don't care if you ran over them with a steamroller," Ash returned, catching the nugget and pocketing it. "You owe me a match, Gary."

Gary made a dismissive noise and tossed his head.

"Unless you're too much of a sissy to fight me," Ash added.

There was a round of _oohs_ at this—huh, so the little kids _did_ have some purpose.

Ash reflected that he probably shouldn't think that way about kids his age—yet again, another effect of—

"Fine, I'll battle you," Gary said, pulling out a Pokéball. "But no crying when you lose!"

* * *

"Okay, the average Pokémon detected in the main hall has low HP—we should be able to attack soon."

"Why or how dey quantified something so simple as exhaustion is beyond Meowth," Meowth muttered, feet on the counter and arms crossed behind his head.

"Wow," Jessie noised. "I didn't know you _knew_ all those big words."

"Fine—insult me, why dontcha?"

"Should we commence the attack?" a grunt asked.

Meowth looked around before remembering that _they_ were technically the point team on this. Wow, from the outhouse to the penthouse.

And all because of that creepy mystery 'mon, Darkrai.

That Clefable's dire warnings _still_ gave him the heebie-jeebies.

"Let's wait until these two finish their battle," James said, pointing at a screen. "They look like the last two with a full team—after that, _then_ we strike."

* * *

"Full team versus full team alright with you?"

"Sure is!"

"Fine then!" Gary called, flinging a Pokéball. "Growlithe! I choose you!"

An orange and cream dog materialized.

"Okay, Growlithe are fire," Ash muttered. "Charmander, go!"

Charmander appeared on the field.

"Is that such a good idea?" Ash heard Misty ask.

"It's Fire against Fire," Brock told her. "There aren't any advantages, but there aren't any weaknesses, either."

"Charmander! Open with Smokescreen!" Ash called.

"Growlithe! Use Odor Sleuth!" Gary ordered.

"Great," Ash muttered—it would be a bit much to hope that all that Growlithe smelled was smoke. Okay, next move….

"Charmander! Ember!" Ash called.

Charmander spotted something moving and spat fire at it—Ash hoped it wasn't one of the waiting staff.

Gary started laughing. "Moron! Growlithe has Flash Fire! Fire moves just make him stronger!"

Growlithe demonstrated by leaping out of the smoke and tackling Charmander, sending the poor lizard skidding. Ash didn't need the frantic pinging of his Pokédex to tell him he was bad off—he returned Charmander with no comment.

"One down, Ashy-boy," Gary taunted.

Jerk. "Go, Patches! Horn Attack!"

Patches hit the ground running—and the Growlithe, too.

"Growlithe! Ember!" Gary commanded.

"Poison Sting and dodge!"

The Ember burned up the Poison Sting, but it got Patches out of the Growlithe's line of sight—Patches took advantage of that and drove his horn into its side. Growlithe rolled and didn't get up.

"Growlithe, return," Gary ordered, pointing a Pokéball at the prostrate Pokémon.

"We're even, Gary," Ash pointed out.

"Not for long—go! Nidorino!"

Patches' double in all but his namesake appeared on the field.

"Okay, Poison's weak against Ground," Ash said. "Patches! Use Dig!"

Patches looked at the floor and then back at Ash, confused.

"A _aash_ ," Misty moaned as Gary laughed. "You have to be aware of your surroundings!"

"You're in a cruise ship," Brock explained upon seeing Ash's expression. "There's no ground for Patches to dig in."

"Nidorino!" Gary gasped, recovering. "Use Horn Attack!"

Aack! "Poison Sting to distract it!" Ash called.

Patches spat the needles at the Nidorino's face before dashing away—he narrowly dodged the goring horn aimed at him.

"Double Kick now!" Ash said.

Patches put two perfect Nido-footprints on the other Nidorino's rear end. It skidded past Ash from the extra impetus, then recovered and ran around him, readying for another charge. It wasn't paying attention, it was so mad—

"Double Kick to the face!" Ash yelled.

Patches hesitated a moment before obeying the order, dropping to his stomach to avoid the horn before slamming a foot into the Nidorino's face.

Patches looked as astonished as Gary as the opposing Nidorino fainted.

"All right, Patches!" Ash cheered as Gary returned his Nidorino.

"Don't get cocky," Gary scolded, sending another Pokémon out.

Ash blinked at the gray Pokémon before him. A Machop. Great—no type advantages, but no weaknesses, either.

"Poison Sting!" Ash said.

"Cross Chop!" Gary ordered.

The attacks collided, and Patches fainted—but the Machop was bristling with poison needles.

And Ash knew _just_ the follow-up.

"A _Paras?"_ Gary asked, when Ash made the swap. "Are you serious?"

Ash smirked before giving his order. "Frenzy, take out that Machop."

Frenzy ramped up to his hind legs with a wild scream before rushing the alarmed Machop. Gary was too startled to give an order.

Not that the battle lasted long enough to justify one.

Gary scowled as he switched in a Zubat.

"Take care of that one too," Ash said.

"Wing Attack!" Gary yelled.

The attack barely registered on the Paras—Ash half-expected to hear a buzzsaw effect as Frenzy hit the Zubat.

The Zubat hit the ground too.

Gary switched in a Geodude, looking concerned now.

"Ash, switch Frenzy out," Brock called. "He won't be able to take a direct hit from a Rock Throw."

"Hey! No kibitzing!" Gary yelled.

Ash frowned, but saw Brock's point—Frenzy didn't dodge attacks; he'd be squished with the first rock.

"Frenzy, return!" Ash called, pulling the Pokéball out.

Frenzy instantly scuttled to Ash's side.

"That's not quite what I meant," Ash said, returning Frenzy. Let's see, Patches was out….

He looked to Pikachu. "You can take him, right?"

"Pi- _ka!"_ Pikachu said, sparks flying as he jumped off of Ash's shoulder.

Gary barked out a laugh. "Don't you know about type-advantages, Ashy-boy?"

"I sure do," Ash said. "Pikachu! Iron Tail!"

He savored the startled expression Gary had as Pikachu slammed into the Geodude.

"Geodude, counter!" Gary called.

"Don't let it recover!"

Pikachu didn't.

"Fine then," Gary said, making his final exchange. "Go, Raticate!"

Two mouse Pokémon faced off.

" _Get it!"_ both trainers yelled.

But within a few moments, it was evident that the Raticate was the stronger.

"Pikachu, return!" Ash called, intending to switch Frenzy back in.

Pikachu shook his head and charged at the Raticate.

After he covered half the distance between the two, his body became enveloped in electricity.

And then he slammed into Raticate, sending its electrified body sprawling next to Gary.

Ash blinked, uncomprehending. Quick count on his fingers—

"We did it," he breathed. "We did it!" he cheered, louder, dropping down so Pikachu could run up to him. He winced at the leftover electricity, but didn't much care—he had done it! He had beaten Gary Oak!

He wished Darkrai had seen it.

Gary returned Raticate, scowling at Ash—

The lights dimmed.

 _"Ladies and gentlemen, now that the battles are concluded, we'd like to direct your attention to the floor show!"_

Ash blinked, confused. Floor show?

But then he heard the beginning of a well-rehearsed motto.

And started preparing for trouble.


	26. Ballroom Blitz

**Chapter 26, everybody! In which the 'mon in the back said 'everyone attack' and it turned into…a royal mess. In other news, added a line back in chapter 24 regarding the fact that you** ** _do_** **find a Lava Cookie underneath the truck in the** ** _FireRed/LeafGreen_** **remakes.**

 **And yes, the title of this chapter is a reference to the song "Ballroom Blitz" by the band Sweet. It fit too well.**

 **ChangelingRin, thanks for the review! Me too. :D I don't think so—and come to think of it, a Grass/Bug typing would be remarkably weak in comparison….I shall! :D**

 **Luktopius, thanks for the review! Yes, he should….**

 **IceDragonGirl36, thanks for the review! Yes they are—and I wouldn't either. D:**

 **IAmUmbreon11, thanks for the review! Yes…I wouldn't either. I think Meowth's dislike of computers may stem from the last time he walked across the keyboard of one. Yes, well….Ha, and here I thought AOL was blocking the word "Butch" (although that wouldn't surprise me, to be honest).**

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! Well, firstly we must consider the fact that all the starters were (temporarily) stolen—and since Gary was insistent on starting his journey right away, he got Growlithe as a starter (which he was going to get anyway, considering it was a puppy from Professor Oak's Arcanine and had hit it off with him) and therefore there is no Wartortle in the picture. Possibly Professor Oak could have called him (and Ash) up later to inform them of the starters' return, but chances are they would have refused, or there could have been a societal reason, considering Pikachu and Growlithe would be their official starters (and the fact that the original starters would have been useless for battling after being possibly scarred for life by Darkrai and would have had to been rehabilitated). Moving on—we do know that Gary had a Nidoking thanks to his battle against Giovanni, Blue in** ** _Pokémon Special_** **had a Machoke, and the rival in** ** _Red/Blue_** **had the (infamous) Raticate. We can also argue that Gary, unlike Ash (and myself) is probably cycling through his Pokémon until he finds a team he likes, which would explain Zubat and Geodude. Ash probably got remarkably lucky and caught him at a time where he's still working on his team and leveling everyone equally. And that was a lot of writing to explain all that…and good question….**

 **KingDeadhead14, thanks for the review! Well, hopefully that means you'll enjoy this chapter. And perhaps….**

 **Hello again, Luktopius!**

 **Johnny Spectre, thanks for the review! Hmm….Well, considering that I started writing this before** ** _Sun/Moon_** **was announced and Marshadow was retroactively inserted into Ash's past, and the fact that information on Marshadow hasn't been fully released (and the fact that the movie in question isn't even out yet), and the fact that the role of creepy ghosty stalker-mon is already taken by Darkrai, I…don't think Marshadow will be making an appearance in this. :\ Maybe if I had waited a couple more years….**

 **Yami-chan and Unrealistic, thanks for the review! Haha, glad you liked it. :D And glad you like my humor (I run over the material so many times that I never find my own humor funny, so I'm glad to know it carries). I love Frenzy too. :D Aha, the rival in the games appears on the** ** _S.S. Anne,_** **so it made sense that Gary show up here. :D**

 **AveragePichu, thanks for the review! Yes, but we never see anything to suggest that in either the anime or the games (closest thing is a bed, I think). That gets touched on in this chapter, to be fair.**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **This just in from the Hoenn Weather Institute: several tropical storms have been reported by Mossdeep satellites. The likely cause is Kyogre being woken up by Team Aqua. Again.**

This was going better than Meowth had hoped.

The initial plan of waiting for the trainers to put their Pokémon forward for healing had been shot down, as there were always those weirdoes that preferred to heal their Pokémon themselves. Therefore, individual Pokéball vacuums equipped to Team Rocket grunts would most likely yield a higher return. Plus, waiting for everyone to wear themselves out reduced the likelihood of resistance.

Yessir, this might actually be a plan that worked.

"Team Rocket!" someone yelled as they finished the motto—finally, all that practice worked. Plus, it kept people distracted as the grunts positioned themselves.

"It's so nice to be recognized," Jessie sighed.

Meowth squinted. The twerp that had hollered out looked vaguely familiar.

"What do you think you're doing?" a redhead yelled.

"Silly girl, we're taking the Pokémon!" Jessie said.

"Take it from the Meowth's mowth," Meowth said, paws on his hips. "Your Pokémon will be better off wid us!"

"Now!" James yelled, flinging his rose up in the air.

On that cue, the Rocket grunts activated the vacuums. Pokéballs went flying.

Meowth couldn't help but cheer.

Victory for Team Rocket!

* * *

The captain examined the radar warily before glancing around the empty control room once again.

Team Rocket had paid him handsomely to captain the ship, but it had also come with the promise that he not be left with an understaffed control room. But something was happening upstairs, that prompted the rest of the Rockets to run out, leaving him, by himself, with a ship that was heading straight for a storm with no means to steer it away.

He took a calculated risk, ran upstairs to get someone to help with the steering—

Whatever was happening was happening in the ballroom, and it sounded like a huge battle.

Again, the need for a calculated risk. Go get in the thick of things, or….

In the end, self-preservation won out.

* * *

"We've got to do something!"

"I'm open to suggestions!" Misty said, clinging to her Pokéballs.

Ash was trying to hang onto his Pokéballs and Pikachu at the same time—

Something occurred to him.

"They want our Pokémon?" Ash hollered. "Then let's give them our Pokémon! Go, Pikachu! Thunder Shock!"

Pikachu zapped the first goon—

And was assisted by several others on the second.

"Good idea, Ash!" Brock exclaimed. "Go! Geodude! Zubat! Bulbasaur!"

"Go! Staryu! Squirtle!" Misty added.

Ash hesitated before throwing out Charmander.

"Think you can manage?" Ash asked.

"Char," Charmander said, nodding.

"Perfect!" Ash said, releasing Frenzy and Vee. "Vee, cover Charmander." Then, to the room: "Everyone, _attack!"_

The Rockets were quickly routed.

"Their Pokémon are weak from battlin'!" the Meowth yelled, jumping up and down frantically. "Fight back! You got Pokémon! _Use them!"_

Spearow and Zubat and Beedrill—and even one or two Grimer and Clefairy—appeared in the room.

"This is going to be a mess," Misty observed, before quickly ordering her Staryu to use Psybeam on an approaching Grimer.

"The ship can handle this, right?" Ash asked Brock.

"It should," Brock said, not sounding convinced.

Pikachu spotted one of the Clefairy and aimed a Thunderbolt at it, chattering angrily.

"Pikachu—" Ash began, but was cut off by something landing on his head.

"You! You're da instigator o' all dis!" Meowth snarled, batting Ash around the ears.

"Hey! _Gerroff!"_ Ash yelped, stumbling.

 _"Pikachu!"_ Pikachu yelled, Tackling Meowth. The Clefairy followed, bouncing off of Ash's head.

"Clef, Clefairy," the Clefairy said to Meowth.

"Not now!" Meowth said. "You— _geeow!"_

Meowth ran off, the electrocuted Clefairy following, Pikachu dashing angrily after them.

"Pikachu! Don't run off like that!" Ash yelled, running after them.

"Ash! Take your own advice!" Misty called after him.

Ash skidded to a halt. Ulk—Misty had a point.

Especially considering he was now facing down Jessie and James' team of Ekans, Koffing, Growlithe, and….

"A Magikarp?" Jessie asked, looking at James. "Where did you pick up _that_ one? _Why_ did you pick it up?"

"I bought it from a salesperson—"

Jessie gave James a look very similar to Darkrai's _you're such an idiot I'll deal with you later_ look. "We'll discuss this after we deal with the twerp."

"I'm not a twerp!" Ash said.

"Who cares?" Meowth asked. "What matters is you're outnumbered!"

"Everyone!" Jessie ordered. "Get that Pikachu!"

"Pika," Pikachu noised, cheeks sparking.

Not good—Pikachu had taken some damage from Raticate and then some from this melee. Backup, backup—

" _Frenzy!"_ Ash hollered.

He heard the shriek, and was able to track Frenzy's movement by the people and Pokémon jumping up or scrambling out of the way of the scuttling Bug Pokémon.

"Okay, _now_ we've got a fair fight!" Ash said as Frenzy arrived.

"Doncha _know_?" Meowth asked. "We never fight fair!"

"Clef," the Clefairy said shortly.

"Fine—you don't hafta fight _him_. But go make yourself useful and fight someone else!"

The Clefairy bounced away.

"How did _you_ people get a Clefairy?" Ash asked.

"We have our ways," Jessie said. "Now, everyone: exterminate those pests!"

"Pikachu, Thunder! Frenzy, get anyone still standing after that!"

Pikachu let loose a devastating electrical shock. James' Koffing's internal gases ignited from the heat, and exploded.

Several other small explosions occurred.

"The Clefairy used Metronome!" At least, that's what Ash _thought_ someone said—his ears were ringing from the nearby explosion. And why was he getting wet?

He sat up, looked up—

To see that the Explosion had not only blown a hole in the floor, but in the ceiling as well.

And it was raining.

"A storm!" Misty said. "We must have sailed into it! But why?"

"I think the answer has something to do with that captain in a lifeboat," Gary observed from a nearby window.

Pikachu directed Ash's attention to Frenzy, who had again taken Ash's exact words to heart. "Frenzy, return!" Ash called. "We've got to get out of here!"

"This ship wasn't built for that sort of punishment!" Brock hollered. "We've got to abandon ship!"

Rockets and passengers both hastened to obey, jostling and elbowing each other in an attempt to get to the lifeboats first.

Brock had Zubat use Screech, which made all activity grind to a halt.

"If you keep acting like that, you're _all_ going to drown," Brock yelled.

Gary hopped onto the railing and held onto the ropes for the first lifeboat. "All right, you losers! Get on the boats in an orderly fashion! I want two people per Rocket! Now _move!"_

Ash returned Frenzy, Charmander and Vee before scooping Pikachu up and running to Misty, who was helping Brock organize everyone.

"Is the ship really going to sink?" Ash asked.

"We've sailed into a storm and blown holes in the ship," Brock observed. "There's no _if_ here—it's _when_."

"I say we have about twenty minutes," Misty said.

Ash glanced around, bracing himself against the rocking of the ship and trying to ignore the feeling of cold and wet. "I don't see anyone else in here."

"Yeah, once you get people heading in the same direction, it gets easier," Misty observed. "Now come on, let's go!"

Ash started after her, but skidded to a halt when something occurred to him. "Wait! What about our stuff?"

"Things aren't worth your life!" Brock said, running back to him and flinging him into a fireman's carry.

"Yeah, I—wait! We have to get your bag at least!"

"I'll buy new food supplies!"

 _"The egg's still in there!"_

That _did_ make Brock skid to a halt. "Aw, Muk," he muttered, already performing a 180 to head for the stairs.

"Wait! _Where are you two going?"_ Misty yelled, running after them.

* * *

Jessie, James and Meowth were joining the press of people heading for the lifeboats when a larger wave knocked them to the floor.

"AAA!" James yelped, scrambling to his feet and running after a rolling gold ball. "My Magikarp! Come back!"

"James, I'll buy you a new one!" Jessie yelled after him, getting to her feet. "Now let's _go!"_

Meowth hopped upright just as James answered. "You can't! It took all three of our advance salaries to pay for it!"

Meowth blinked, praying he had salt water in his ears. "Did he say what I thought he said?"

"I'm going to kill him," Jessie said, running after James.

"Hey, wait!" Meowth yelped, running after her. "Lifeboats! Sinking ship! _We gotta leave!"_

* * *

Okay, in the interest of not being able to do much else but look around at the moment, travelling down a hall backwards offered an interesting view. Ash felt it would make a great scene in a movie, although he wasn't sure what sort of movie it would fit with.

Brock plopped Ash down at the room. "Key! Quick!"

Ash fumbled in his pockets. "I don't—I think I dropped—"

Brock made an impatient noise, backed up to the opposite wall, then gave a running kick to the door near the knob.

It broke open.

"Wow," Ash said. "I thought that was just in the movies."

"What's going on?" Misty said, finally catching up.

"Brock did a Chuck Norris."

"Well unless he wants to do a Leonardo DiCaprio, we have to _go!"_

Brock came running out of the room, tossing Misty her bag before unzipping his.

"Okay, it's still there," he said, pulling a few shirts down to show the egg still safely wrapped up.

"Great," Misty said, grabbing Ash's wrist and tugging him along as Brock rezipped his pack and slung it over his shoulders. "Now we've gotta—"

Whatever else they had to do was cut off as the hall suddenly went topsy-turvy. They stumbled, fell, tumbled—

And then the impact—

And everything went dark.


	27. Sunk

**Chapter 27, everybody! In which there was an error last chapter—I got an error message when I submitted the chapter, but when I refreshed the page it had showed up, so I didn't give it any more thought. Found the error the next day when I saw that it had never changed the update date and sent out the alert (I didn't even get one), so apologies for that. ^^;**

 **In other news: write to Fox and complain about them cancelling** ** _Sleepy Hollow_** **.**

 **Nohm the Inexorable, thanks for the review! I know—darn errors. Aha, thank you, glad you like it so far. :D Oh wow, that's amazing. :D**

 **Ardtornismyname, thanks for the review! Soon….**

 **Kisame Hoshigaki, thanks for the review! I'll think about it. And yes, well….**

 **Reaper, thanks for the review! I might up the update schedule depending on how ahead I stay on writing this, probably after I finish some of the other fanfics I have going (which I need to finish up and update). Aha, the reason I started writing this was because I wasn't fully satisfied with the Pokémon fics I had been reading—as you say, it seems that all the good ones don't update on a regular basis (and Darkrai needs more love).**

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! Yep—especially considering I had basically nixed the trade that was the initial reason Ash stayed. Me too….**

 **Laugh-a-lot, thanks for the review! Thank you, glad you took a chance on this! :D Yes, Frenzy is definitely something.**

 **Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! No, we're never given a reason for** ** _why_** **he bailed on everyone—he is lucky, but I can't help but wonder if some dissatisfied customers hunted him down later. Oh dear….Makes you wonder how Team Rocket keeps going, if that's the case….**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

 ** _Robots_ ****© 2005 Blue Sky Studios ("Hey! _Hey! Don't throw me!"_)**

 ** _Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End_** **© 2007 Gore Verbinski ("Up is down")**

 ** _Batman: The Animated Series_** **© 1992 Bruce Timm & Paul Dini ("Well, that was fun! Who's up for Chinese?")**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **New on the PPN— _The New Adventures of Zubatman!_ Tune in to see one costumed crime-fighter's never-ending war on crime! Watch as he fights a colorful cast of villains! Thrill at the pows and socks and bams! Tune in tonight—only on the PPN: the Pokémon Planet Network.**

Darkrai wasn't the sort to try for tanning, but this Port Vista place made it _very_ tempting.

He had raised quite a bit of Cain over in Vermilion, and had moved on shortly after—he didn't need the local gym leader trying to track him down.

But a sleepy little tourist-trap like Port Vista was perfect—or at least, it _would_ be, if it weren't for all the Pokémon Rangers loitering around. Joy. He didn't have fond memories of Rangers.

Hence why he was hiding in an old attic for a closed store, trying to determine where to go to next. He had almost decided and was already making plans to skedaddle when he noticed a troupe of police officers run by. What, did they know he was here already?

A Pokémon Ranger ran up.

"We've got the life raft!" the Ranger said. "I'm getting some paramedics—they're dehydrated!"

"We got the message," the lead officer said, waving the others on. "Are you sure it's from the _Anne_?"

"The life raft says so—one of the passengers says the _Anne_ sunk."

Darkrai blinked. That didn't mean anything— _nooo_. No one said that everyone didn't get off—

 ** _"He probably didn't,"_** Darkrai muttered. **_"His luck is indeed that bad."_**

* * *

"Ash? _Ash! Wake up!"_

Ash jolted upright, then instantly regretted it.

"Ow, he muttered, rubbing his back. "What happened? I feel like a Rhyhorn sat on me."

"That was Brock," Misty said, pointing. "He was on top of you."

"I like how you neglected to mention that _you_ were on top of the both of us," Brock said.

"Uh, guys," Ash noised, ignoring Misty's spluttering. "Why is the ceiling carpeted?"

They looked up. "Uh, Ash," Misty said. "I think that was the floor."

That took a moment to fully sink in.

"Please tell me we aren't flipped over," Ash said finally.

Brock looked out a nearby porthole. "Uh, I have worse news," Brock said. "Not only are we flipped over—we're sunk, too."

We're sunk.

What a strangely appropriate term for how screwed they were.

* * *

Meowth had recovered first, seen their situation, and slapped Jessie and James awake quickly.

"Ow! What was _that_ for?" Jessie demanded, picking Meowth up by the scruff of the neck.

"We're sunk!" Meowth declared. "Look around!"

They did so. "Everything's on the ceiling!" James said.

"Not everyting," Meowth pointed out. "Just da stuff dat was bolted to da floor."

Jessie was up on her feet immediately. "The ship's flipped! And we're stuck on it! And it's all _your_ fault!" she yelled, flinging Meowth at James.

"Hey, _hey! Don't throw me!"_ Meowth yelped.

James caught him and used him as a shield—great. "My fault?" James squawked. "How is this _my_ fault?"

"You blew," Jessie said, pointing and obviously straining to avoid busting a blood vessel. " _All three_ of our advanced salaries… _on a stupid Magikarp that is literally worth a dime a dozen!"_

"But the guy said it was a Poké-goldmine!" James protested.

" _For crooks like him!"_

"A Rocket fell fer a swindle," Meowth observed. "Fer shame."

"Well," James said, scrambling upright and tucking Meowth under his arm. "What about that rumor that they evolve into Gyarados? And at the very least, I could sell the Pokéball—it's solid gold!"

"A solid gold Pokéball _won't work_ ," Meowth shot. "It's probably just gold-plated!"

"And _you_ are going to try to have the patience to _train_ a _Magikarp?"_ Jessie pointed out, prompting James to hold Meowth up as a shield again. "Face it—you blew all our money and got us stuck in a watery grave!"

That last statement sobered everyone up.

"We can't die here," Meowth sniffled finally. "I'm too young ta die."

"I'm not ready!" James wailed. "Hold me, Meowth!"

" _Meowch! You're holding me too tight!"_

It was Jessie's turn to employ Doubleslap. "Get a _grip,_ you two!" she scolded.

"He's got a grip—on me!" Meowth complained.

"We won't get anywhere sniveling like this," Jessie observed, pulling her Pokéball out. "We've got to try to escape! Go, Ekans! Use Acid on the ceiling!"

Ekans appeared and obeyed with a hiss.

"If we're flipped, that means that up is down!" Jessie observed. "So we go through the floor and get out of here!"

"Wait, don't!" Meowth yelped.

Ekans made it through—

And water started flooding in.

"We're probably in an air pocket!" Meowth said. "And punching _more_ holes in the hull ain't gonna help us!"

"We have to leave!" James yelled.

But the water was too powerful, and the room was quickly flooded.

A cat drowning, Meowth thought.

Water way to go.

* * *

He spent the entire time drifting after the rescue boat trying to convince himself that it was just morbid curiosity that was driving him out here.

What was he doing?

But it was getting dark now, and the head Jenny was checking her radio.

"They checked the roster," she called, prompting the workers to look up—at her; no one bothered to scan the skies, which had suited Darkrai just fine. "Everyone's accounted for except for five people—and from the looks of it, they went down with the ship."

She disappeared down into the boat and returned with a bouquet of flowers. Darkrai wondered just _why_ she had a fresh bouquet handy, then reflected that maybe she was as morbid as he was.

"We hereby commemorate the lives of five trainers cut short," she declared as someone played appropriately somber music. "Ash, Brock, James, Jessie, and Misty had such promising careers. They will be missed by all." She threw the bouquet over the side and turned back to the crew, waving them back to work and ordering them to return to shore. Darkrai wouldn't have been surprised if she had said _Well, that was fun! Who's up for Kantonese?_

He watched as they left, reflecting on the news. So the kid was dead. Big whoop.

So why wasn't he leaving?

 _He can't be dead,_ he found himself thinking. _He's too stupid to die._

Well…there was one way to be certain.

He extended his senses down, seeking sleep patterns. If they were dead, then they wouldn't register….

But if the egg wasn't drowned, then there was a chance they weren't, either.

And there was that egg.

What was he doing? He was trying to get _away_ from this kid! And it didn't bother _him_ if humans died!

Except….

He sighed and swore. " ** _You owe me big time, kid."_**

He swooped up and then dived, aiming for a shadow that required perfect timing.

 _If you're still alive, I'm going to kill you if I get wet._


	28. Blame Game

**Hey, we're back everybody! Sorry for the delay, but I was trying to stay off of websites that my antivirus programs don't like in the wake of that 'WannaCry' thing, and unfortunately that included FanFiction and my e-mail browser. :( But we're back! Good things.**

 **Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! Yes, this is true, and I really struggled with Darkrai in this sequence before finally throwing my hands up and letting the characters do their thing (but it does get lampshaded later). The world may never know….The first several episodes of a new show tend to have their awkward moments, especially if the series runs a long time—maybe they were just tossing stuff at the wall to see what stuck. 'Keep that annoying cat out of HQ'—it's either that or 'keep those three as far away from me as possible.' :D**

 **Dragonkeeper10, thanks for the review! Yes, Darkrai! Be the hero you were meant to be! :D**

 **Ardtornismyname, thanks for the review! Shh—we don't want that getting around….**

 **Dunkaccino, thanks for the review! And then I made up for it by not updating for two weeks! *bricked* Of course not—he's top billing. :)**

 **XT3100, thanks for the review! Of course—without him, it's just a slightly modified retreading of the original series. Darkrai is** ** _extremely_** **necessary (but don't tell him that).**

 **Yami-chan and Unrealistic, thanks for the review! It is—classic Team Rocket has their own charm. :D Yes, we're not quite sure how that would have turned out….**

 **IAmUmbreon11, thanks for the review! Oops. Don't worry about it. :) Maybe….**

 **Luckenhaft, thanks for the review! Uh, yeah, that never even occurred to me (it would have been interesting and added a different sort of tension, but it's just not my speed). *shrugs***

 **IceDragonGirl36, thanks for the review! Good question…shh, Darkrai's wanting that to stay on the down-low.**

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! Yes, this is true….**

 **AveragePichu, thanks for the review! Aha, yes—or maybe 'if we die I'm going to kill you.' :D**

 **Calzifer, thanks for the review! Yes….The characters mention that movie at one point, actually—** ** _Poseidon Adventure._** **Which I've never watched—all I know is that the ship flipped. *shrug***

 **Emeraldpichu, thanks for the review! Wow, thank you—I hope I continue to please! :D**

 **POKÉMON GUEST, thanks for the review! I can guarantee that Ash will encounter the Gengar line in the future. :)**

 **Marionette of Ancient Relics, thanks for the review! Thank you, I'm glad you liked it! I don't have plans to abandon this, or any fic that I post (any delays come from hitting a snag in storytelling and having to work around them, school-related delays, or another story grabbing me and holding me hostage). This particular fic will go all the way through the Indigo League, with subsequent regions in separate sequels (not sure about the Orange Islands yet, as I never really watched that season and there's no corresponding games). The Indigo League was the season I was most invested in, so that might be why—glad you liked the game mechanics put in, and the urban legend references. :) We can argue that Ash was distracted by Professor Oak mentioning how far ahead Gary is already (Ash seems to have a tendency to lose his focus when he hears he's behind his rival). As for Misty…hmm, if Ho-oh grants those who see it their fondest wish, I wonder what Misty would get….Darkrai thanks you for this astute observation. :D Good question—we may find out later….**

 **Chandan, thanks for the review! I'm not sure—we get other odd references from the early seasons that indicate they have some similarities to our world (and I couldn't come up with a good Pokefied version, so…). Thank you. :D**

 **Edboy4926, thanks for the review! Thank you, I shall! I do too…hopefully he won't waste so much time busting his butt on an ungrateful Charizard….I do too. Interesting…I'll have to consider that….**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

 ** _How To Train Your Dragon_ ****© 2010 DreamWorks (Misty quotes it at one point)**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **In other news, Pokémon researchers and rangers have finally deduced the source of the sentient cloud. Rangers today captured a Pokémon residing in the center of the cloud. Unovan researcher Professor Juniper has identified it as Thundurus, a genie-like Pokémon known for causing disruption. Professor Juniper admits that Unova tends to produce Pokémon known for causing disruption. She offers no theories as to why this is so at this time.**

They had wandered through the upside-down ship, seeking a way out. For how long Ash wasn't certain.

"So should we be heading up or down?" Ash wondered.

"Up," Brock said. "Er…down. Well, up to the bottom of the ship."

"This is confusing."

"We want to go _that way_ ," Misty said, pointing up. "If we try to head for the deck and hit a dead end, we're done for."

Ash, Brock and Pikachu all shivered at that.

 _I am literally too young to die,_ Ash thought. _I can't die—I've got a journey ahead of me! I need some help, up there! I don't want to show at the Pearly Gates at ten!_

"Well," Brock said, recovering. "The good news is, with these air pockets, the ship can't have sunk _too_ far down. It took the Titanic _hours_ to sink, right?"

"Until it broke in half," Misty said matter-of-factly.

"I don't feel good," Ash moaned.

"That'll be carbon dioxide building up."

"Maybe we should try for positive," Brock suggested, noting Ash's expression.

"How about this then," Misty said, stopping. "Stairs."

Ash looked at the water slowly leaking onto their level before looking at the slick bottom to the upwards leading stairs. "Y'know, when I was little, I used to fantasize about walking on the ceiling."

"And now that you're doing it?" Brock asked.

"I'd like it better if I wasn't twenty thousand leagues under the sea."

"We'd be crushed like a tin can if we were," Misty said, tossing out a Pokéball. "Goldeen! Check the ship for us, will you? Bring back anything interesting, like air tanks or life preservers."

"Air tanks?" Ash asked.

"Life preservers?" Brock echoed.

"It's a bit of a stretch to hope any survived," Misty conceded. "But it's worth a shot."

Golden had already dived downstairs. Upstairs. Whatever.

"Do you guys feel cold?" Ash asked. "I feel cold."

"There's very little heat once you get past the surface of the water," Misty pointed out.

"Shock will do that too," Brock added.

"Pika," Pikachu said, pricking his ears.

Wait—if Pikachu sensed something….

"Is it anything good?" Ash asked.

Pikachu shook his head in the negative—

As a shadow just behind Brock disgorged a terrifying black blot—

 _"Darkrai!"_ Ash fairly shrieked, throwing his arms up and dislodging Pikachu—he'd rib him later for sounding like a girl but who cared _he was back—_

Darkrai stiff-armed his hug before bonking him on the head soundly. And repeatedly.

 ** _"You-absolute- moron,"_** he said, punctuating each word with a wallop. **_"You-have-absolutely- no-sense-of-self-preservation—"_**

"It wasn't my fault!" Ash protested, trying to shield his head.

 ** _"Do I LOOK like I care?"_**

Anything else Darkrai was winding up to say was cut off by a multicolored beam hitting him in the side and dissipating off of him, prompting him to redirect his attention.

Ash looked to see that Brock and Misty had thrown out Zubat and Staryu respectively, and that all of them looked distinctly horrified. Ah.

"Uh," Ash noised. "I can explain—"

 _"What is that thing!?"_ Misty fairly hollered.

 ** _"Excuse me?"_** Darkrai asked, bristling.

Ash quickly positioned himself between him and them. "Uh, Misty, Brock—this is Darkrai. He's a friend of mine. Darkrai, you've seen Misty and Brock—"

"Excuse me?" Brock asked, drily.

"Uh—yeah, it's…involved, and…."

Misty was looking between him and Darkrai rapidly before finally settling on looking angrily at him.

" _You,"_ she hissed. "Are in _so_ much trouble!"

The complete oddity of her statement floored him for a moment.

"We're in an upside-down ship under a ton of water with no conceivable way out," Ash said. " _Gee, you THINK!?"_

 ** _"Wow,"_** Darkrai said, back to his dry self. **_"The kid snapped."_**

"I knew this day would come," Brock said sagely.

 ** _"You know, he wasn't like this until he met you people."_**

" _You shut up!"_ Misty yelled, rounding on Darkrai. "You come in here and start attacking Ash—"

 ** _"I was beating him on the head,"_** Darkrai observed. **_"There was no danger of injury."_**

"And—and then what? Just what were you planning on _doing_!?"

"He's going to help us escape," Ash said. "Right, Darkrai?"

Ash hoped that Darkrai's pensive position was just sarcasm—it wasn't doing much for an angry Misty in an enclosed space.

"How?" she asked, through gritted teeth.

"Shadow Sneak, right?" Ash asked. "Like how you got here—you could use it to get us out."

"I'm not going anywhere with that _thing!"_

 ** _"Yeah…no,"_** Darkrai said. **_"There's a chance it could kill you, considering the distance needed. And besides, I've decided I don't like her."_**

 _"What!?"_

"Any good news?" Ash asked, hoping to defuse the situation.

 ** _"You have company."_**

They looked to see that Goldeen had returned and shoved three soggy bundles onto the stairwell.

Ash blinked, recognizing the white uniforms. "Aren't they those Team Rocket guys?"

In response, those Team Rocket guys spat up water, coughing and spluttering and generally recovering from being half-drowned.

"Are we dead?" the Meowth asked.

 ** _"No, but that can be easily remedied,"_** Darkrai said.

" _You_ don't talk," Misty said, pointing.

"Maybe they _are_ dead," Ash suggested. "And they're just waterlogged zombies. Like _The Jellicent Victims_."

"What are you doing watching a movie like _that_?" Brock asked, sounding appalled.

In response, Ash pointed at Darkrai, who started humming.

The other two Team Rocket members, meanwhile, had recovered enough to notice the company they were in.

" _You!"_ Jessie said, pointing at Ash. "You…you… _this is all your fault!"_

"My fault?" Ash asked. "How is this _my_ fault?"

"If you hadn't started all that battling, we would have been gone, the ship wouldn't be full of holes, and we wouldn't have sailed into a storm!"

"And if you were the one with the egg, _we_ wouldn't be in this situation," Misty added.

"Help," Ash said, turning to Brock and Darkrai, both with their arms crossed.

 ** _"You're a magnet for disaster,"_** Darkrai pointed out.

"I take some credit," Brock said. "I wouldn't have left the egg in the room if I thought the ship was going to sink."

 ** _"If you thought the ship was going to sink, you wouldn't have gotten on it to begin with."_**

"Touché."

"This is partially your fault, too," Meowth added, pointing at James. "For paying buku bucks for a stinkin' _Magikarp."_

"I got it back," James argued.

"Let me repeat: you paid _money_ for a _Magikarp."_

Brock put two fingers into his mouth and whistled. "Now that I have your undivided attention," he said. "As charming as this blame game is—we're still stuck in a sunken ship. And oh by the way: the water's rising."

They looked down to see that the water had risen an inch during their argument. Ash's socks were getting wet.

"I vote we suspend all animosity until we're back to safety," Brock proposed.

 ** _"Seconded,"_** Darkrai said, raising a claw.

"Hey, wait a minute," Meowth said, pointing at Darkrai, recognition flooding his face.

"Allow me to emphasize the _not now_ portion of this truce," Brock said.

"Fine. But _he's_ coming with us when this is all over."

 ** _"When Tepig fly,"_** Darkrai spat.

A quickly and briefly summoned Onix helped them up the stairs and away from the water.

"What's the feasibility of flying Tepig?" Ash heard Jessie ask as they progressed.

"Well," James said. "First we'll need a Tepig…and then maybe a rocket or a cannon…."


	29. Resurfacing

**Chapter 29, everybody! In which I am highly amused by all the different ways you all have figured out to make a Tepig fly….And we once again reference Dragonsrule18's story** ** _When One Door Closes, Two More Open_** **….**

 **IceDragonGirl36, thanks for the review! Yes, well…aha, thank you, glad you like it! That was one of those scenes I had been planning for quite some time. :D**

 **Dragonkeeper10, thanks for the review! Yes indeed! And I am apparently going to have to invest in that game….Me too….**

 **ChangelingRin, thanks for the review! Maybe. Haha, thank you, glad you liked it! Worked on that scene for** ** _so long_** **in my head….**

 **Yami-chan and Unrealistic, thanks for the review! Thank you, glad you liked it! That was one scene I planned from** ** _way_** **early on, so glad it works. :D Maybe…and maybe. :D Okay then, have fun!**

 **Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! This is true. I think I might have seen that one….This is true. And this is also true….And that is definitely true (Pokémon logic, you defy all reason).**

 **Luktopius, thanks for the review! YES! JOIN TEAM ROCKET, TEPIG!**

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! Yes….**

 **AveragePichu, thanks for the review! It is….**

 **InfernalFox, thanks for the review! Of course!**

 **Johnny Spectre, thanks for the review! That could work.**

 **IAmUmbreon11, thanks for the review! Yes, that might not work. YES! This is probably nothing to Brock, to be honest—he's got all those siblings, I bet at least one brought something odd home. 'It followed me home, can I keep it?' 'No you cannot, now go take that back where you found it.'**

 **Anonyman, thanks for the review! Good question….**

 **Ardtornismyname, thanks for the review! Yes, finally! We shall see….**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

 ** _The Road to El Dorado_** **© 2000 DreamWorks**

 ** _Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides_ ****© 2011 Rob Marshall**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **In other news, the town of Danjeeves had to cull their supply of Foodie Magikarp due to scale rot. Fillets coming from Pokémon with scale rot have an overpowering bitter and sour taste. Stores receiving Fillet packets ending in 27 should return the packets immediately.**

"Is there an actual plan, or are we just wandering around waiting to drown?"

Misty glared back at Jessie. "I built a model _S.S. Anne_ when I was little—I know how this ship is structured. We have to get to the bottom of the ship to the engine room—that's where the hull is thinnest."

"You'd think it'd be the opposite," Ash observed.

" ** _Ah, the brilliance of engineering,"_** Darkrai said.

"I don't know _why_ you want _that_ ," Misty said to Team Rocket, pointing at Darkrai. "It's been nothing but useless so far."

 ** _"Oh, that's rich."_**

"I've decided that none of us are any good in a crisis," Ash said to Brock.

"I've noticed," Brock said as they entered the engine room. " _Woah."_

It was on fire.

" _Dat's_ not a good ding," Meowth observed.

"Don't worry, those are electric turbines," James said. "It's not like it's gas or anything like that."

"It's burning up all the air," Misty pointed out.

"Okay then, now we can worry."

Darkrai had already lifted Ash and Brock to the next room. **_"Bye,"_** he said airily, waving back at the rest of them.

 _"Hey!"_ Misty snapped.

Brock had Bulbasaur lift the rest of them to the next room.

"I can't believe you were going to _leave_ us," Misty said as soon as she was across, rounding on Darkrai.

 ** _"I don't like the rest of you,"_** Darkrai pointed out.

"See?" Ash asked Pikachu, who had stayed on his head to avoid the water. "I told you he liked me."

Pikachu stuck his tongue out at him.

"I second dat emotion," Meowth said, pointing.

"Are we in the right place?" James asked.

"Yes," Misty said, forcing herself to break off of the tantrum she was having. "We just have to get through the hull. And then have our water Pokémon get us to the surface. And hope we can hold our breath for long enough. And hope we don't get the bends. And hope we don't get crushed by the water pressure."

 ** _"What a positive outlook you have,"_** Darkrai observed.

"It's realistic."

"If we don't get out alive," Jessie said to James. "I want you to know that you made my life rich."

"And you made my life an adventure!" James returned, hugging her.

Ash looked at Darkrai. "Do I get a premortem hug?"

 ** _"No,"_** Darkrai said flatly.

Misty released Goldeen, Squirtle, and Staryu. "Start tying yourselves to them," she ordered, pulling rope out of her pack. "I'm not sure if they can tow all of us, but it's a start."

"Here, this might help," Ash said, releasing Lenny. "Lenny, you can tow me out of here, right?"

"Karp?" Lenny asked, confused.

 ** _"It was nice knowing you, kid,"_** Darkrai said.

"Hey, wait! I have one too!" James said, releasing his Magikarp. "See? And you made fun of me for buying it."

"And I will up until it actually saves my life," Jessie said.

Ash glanced at James' Magikarp. Comparing it to Lenny, it _was_ bigger….

Ash returned his attention to Lenny, who was apparently asking Pikachu a question. Pikachu responded with a few terse words, pointing up.

" _Karp,"_ Lenny squeaked, the enormity of the situation becoming evident to him.

"We still have to get through the hull," Misty said, looking up. "Fire types, maybe, or a strong enough impact—"

"Can you punch through the hull?" Ash asked Darkrai.

 ** _"Are you suicidal?"_** Darkrai asked.

"So that's a yes?"

Darkrai sighed and warmed up an attack. **_It was nice knowing you."_**

"See you on the surface."

"That's da positive tinking," Meowth said.

"Keep an eye on them," Misty said to Staryu—who, possessing no eyes, seemed confused.

Darkai released the charged Focus Blast—

And the hull ruptured.

Ash's first observation was that the water was _cold_.

Darkrai had hit a shadow ahead of the spray, that much he had seen before being doused. Pikachu clung to him as Lenny frantically swam, beating against the torrent—it wasn't working….They had gotten out, but they weren't going to make it—his lungs were burning—

And then there was a flash of light.

* * *

Misty and Brock surfaced, paddled frantically for a piece of flotsam as Squirtle and Goldeen swam beside them, supporting them as they scrambled on—

After gulping down lungfuls of air, they looked around.

"I don't see Ash," Misty said, worried.

"I don't see anyone," Brock said.

Misty quickly undid their ropes. "Squirtle, Goldeen! Go help them!"

They dove immediately—

And Squirtle jumped back out and into Misty's arms as something absolutely _huge_ broke out of the water.

"G-g-g-gyarados!" Misty stammered, looking at the big blue sea serpent.

And then they noticed the kid hanging by a rope off of one of its horns.

"Hey, guys!" Ash managed as soon as he caught his breath. "Look! Lenny evolved!"

"Wonderful," Misty moaned, sitting on her knees.

"Where's Team Rocket?" Brock asked, helping Ash onto the flotsam as Lenny leaned over.

In response, Goldeen and Staryu surfaced and shoved Team Rocket onto the flotsam.

"Are you okay?" Ash asked as they spluttered and coughed.

"Wet," Meowth moaned. "Wet again."

"I _told_ you that Magikarp couldn't hack it!" Jessie said.

"It wasn't it's fault!" James protested. "It was hauling two people and a Meowth!"

"Face it—you wasted your money."

"You can't blame the Magikarp," Ash said.

 _"Gyaaar,"_ Lenny agreed, now voicing his thoughts in a deep rumble.

The Magikarp started crying.

"Now what's wrong?" Meowth asked.

"See?" James asked. "You hurt its feelings."

"It's a _fish,"_ Jessie argued.

Meowth, meanwhile, was looking at Pikachu.

"I don't tink my Pokénese's _dat_ rusty," he said, pointing at the sobbing Magikarp. "And I don't tink da sobbin's doing dat—can _you_ understand it?"

"Pika," Pikachu said, looking confused.

"Uh-huh. Hey. _Hey!"_ he snapped, bonking the Magikarp on the head. "Say it plain—I can't understand you when you're cryin' like dat!"

The Magikarp slowed to sniffling and explained itself.

"What'd it say?" Ash asked, sitting next to them and feeling invested now.

"No clue," Meowth said. "It's like…." He looked to Pikachu. "What's a good human phrase? Like it's talkin' around a mouthful of Grimer. Wait…." He listened further.

And then turned beet red.

" _You,"_ he snarled, rounding on James. "I'm gonna feed you ta dat Gyarados! Not only did you blow all our money on a _Magikarp_ , you blew all our money on a _Foodie!"_

"On a what?" Ash asked.

"You _do_ know where your meat comes from, right?" Brock asked.

"At best dat ding's worth two dollars fer fillets!" Meowth continued, beating his paws against a cowering James. _"You! Wasted! Our! Money!"_

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" James wailed.

Jessie sat cross-legged away from them, looking fit to combust.

"I suppose the good news," she fumed finally. "Is if we're stuck here too long, we could eat it."

" _Gyarados!"_ Lenny thundered, prompting Jessie to bolt to the other side.

"That's not necessary, is it?" Ash asked Meowth, who had also bolted.

Meowth smoothed his fur before answering. "Well….Foodies were bred ta be…dere's no delicate way ta say this—dey were bred ta be dumb so people didn't feel bad about eating dem. Not dat Pokémon have dat problem….Anyway, dey're not bright, dey don't learn moves like regular Pokémon, and no one knows how long dey live because dey're always killed in da first year. Dey're not training Pokémon."

The Magikarp was crying again.

"But you can't just get rid of it!" Misty protested. "Look at the poor thing, it's crying!"

"I don't think I'll be able to feel right about eating meat from now on," Ash said to Brock.

"You'll get over it next mealtime," Brock told him.


	30. Shore Thing

**Chapter 30, everybody! Sorry for the delay, but life has been busy, what with school and gardening and outdoor work and GETTING MY DRIVER'S LICENSE. I got it 7/17/17, and now I never have to drive again (I probably will, but that's not the point). :D**

 **So! Here's hoping we can entertain a more regular schedule now that one of the major time sinks is out of the way. Hopefully.**

 **And whoever put this fic on the General FanFic Recommendations on TV Tropes—thank you, you made my day when I saw that. ;v;/**

 **Crestilia, thanks for the review! Yes! It might be a little easier for me to write about eating something that's also kept as a pet, since I have chickens but also eat chicken—my logic is that I never eat anybody I knew personally. Glad you like it. :)**

 **Yami-chan and Unrealistic, thanks for the review! Well, we couldn't exactly use him with Lt. Surge….Yes! Save us small fish! :D Haha…we'll see about James' Magikarp. ;)**

 **ChangelingRin, thanks for the review! Yes! Fishy success! And yes—no one will ever suspect what Pokémon will appear when Ash yells 'Lenny' from now on. :D I shall!**

 **Dragonkeeper10, thanks for the review! Yes…I wouldn't, but only because I don't like seafood (Tauros, on the other hand…).**

 **Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! I think they handwave it for the most part, although let's be honest, when was the last time any of us thought about how the meat gets to the grocery store? They are bringing up Pokémon as food in the more recent games, though, so apparently Game Freak is questioning it too. I think it was Team Rocket doing it that made it wrong, but it's been a while since I played that gen (although** ** _Sun/Moon_** **does make mention of a Slowpoke that lost its tail because someone cut it off, so…*shrug*). Haha, glad you liked that. :D**

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! Yes, finally! And yes, poor Foodie….**

 **IceDragonGirl36, thanks for the review! Ouch—glad you liked the chapter, though. :)**

 **InfernalFox, thanks for the review! Yes—having aquarium fish, I can tell you that scale rot is a real thing, and among a number of things that can affect fish.**

 **Luktopius, thanks for the review! Yes! Good for Ash. :D**

 **InkyTheInk, thanks for the review! Nope. Well…people have to eat…this is true. And probably—and definitely, considering Ash's track record….**

 **Garm88, thanks for the review! Haha, glad you like it. :D**

 **Mowrotom314, thanks for the reviews! Glad you like it, and we're pretty sure Bill might have survived….As for Frenzy…we have no idea….**

 **Thanks for the review, Guest! I have not, but that's interesting.**

 **AveragePichu, thanks for the review! Fair point….**

 **Thanks for the review, friend! Glad you liked it. :)**

 **Scarlet Firesong, thanks for the reviews! Yes, Darkrai….Haha, glad you like those—I have a lot of fun typing those up. :D We don't know….My goodness, Bill—and no, Ash and Darkrai are not cool guys. :D I know! And yes! Success!**

 **Boggie445, thanks for the review! Perchance….**

 **Ardtornismyname, thanks for the review! I guarantee at least** ** _one_** **more will be making an appearance….**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

 ** _Casablanca_** **© 1943 Michael Curtiz**

 ** _Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides_** **© 2011 Rob Marshall; Disney**

 ** _Monsters University_** **© 2013 Dan Scanlon; Pixar**

 ** _Cool Runnings_ ****© 1993 Jon Turteltaub**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **The Regional Police Corps would like to remind you that, while acceptable slang when referring to the female officers, "Officer Jenny" should not be used as a blanket term for police officers. Please stop calling our male officers Jenny.**

The issue over the Magikarp had relatively settled after a few hours, and Lenny had entertained himself with showing off how magnificent he looked now that he was a Gyarados.

Ash, meanwhile, had tried to make James feel better by scanning his Magikarp. It was female, level 5, and knew Splash. And with the end result of a Magikarp parading in front of them, James' mood was improving enough for him to consider naming it.

"Call it Expensive," Jessie shot over.

"We agreed," Misty said. "That we weren't going to discuss politics, economics, _or_ that Magikarp while we were stuck together."

Silence.

"Did ya catch da game da other night?" Meowth asked the group at large.

"The one that went into overtime?" Brock asked.

"Yeah. Can you believe dat one ref?"

"Since we're stuck here," Ash said. "How is it that Meowth can talk?"

"Please don't get him started," Jessie sighed.

"I'll tell you how I can speak human!" Meowth declared, hopping up. "It's a tale of romance, of heartbreak, of sheer willpower!"

"He learned how to speak so he could impress a girl," James said.

"Not just any girl! The prettiest Meowth in all of Kanto! I struggled tooth and nail to learn the lingo and walk the walk, and when I finally present myself, what did she do?"

 _"She ran off with a Persian,"_ Jessie and James said dully. Ash had the impression they had heard it before. Many times.

"A _Persian!"_ Meowth ranted.

Ash looked up to see that Darkrai had returned. Ash waved at Lenny and pointed; Lenny nodded, dove beneath the flotsam, and resurfaced with it balanced on his head, carefully making his way after Darkrai.

"So what's with the accent?" Ash decided to ask.

"I learned from old detective movies," Meowth explained. " _Here's lookin' at you, kid._ Found out not all humans talk dat way, but it helps considerin' I don't have a human mowth."

Ash glanced at Pikachu. "So _any_ Pokémon could learn to talk?"

"No idea, kid."

Ash considered this.

"I don't know, what do you think?" Ash asked Pikachu. "Worth a shot?"

"Pika-bleh," Pikachu responded, sticking his tongue out before pointing at Ash. "Pika pi- _chu_."

Ash glanced at Meowth for clarification.

"He says _if learning another language is so easy, why don't you do it?" _Meowth translated.

"I tried once," Ash explained. "Apparently, I know a lot of insults in Pokémon."

"Oh really? Let's hear it."

"Um, let's see…. _Rattata tat rat tat."_

Meowth and Pikachu exchanged glances.

"Yeah," Meowth said finally. "Don't do dat in polite company."

"Why? What'd I say?"

"You don't want to know, kid."

* * *

The silence they lapsed into was broken hours later.

"Look! Land ho!" Meowth yelped, hopping up and down and pointing.

It had been a long enough journey that the sun was beginning to set, making the wind on the water cold. It took a bit of squinting to see through the glare of the sunset, but it quickly became evident that Meowth was right—there was land. And lights on the land—civilization.

"We're gonna _live!"_ Jessie and James sobbed, clinging to each other. Ash couldn't help but echo the sentiment—if he never saw the ocean again, it would be too soon.

"The minute we get on land I want a warm bed and a hot meal!" Misty declared. "And then I'm filing a negative review with the cruise company."

"I think that's an understatement," Brock said as they approached the shore and Lenny slowed down.

"Welp, toodles!"

Ash looked around, saw that Jessie, James, and Meowth were making a break for it, Magikarp tucked under James' arm as they slid off Lenny's back. "Where are _you_ three going?"

"Use your brain, twerp!" Meowth snapped back. "We're members of Team Rocket! We have a reputation to uphold! We can't be seen with _twerps,_ even if you did help us!"

"I can't go back to jail again," James said simply.

"So you see the predicament."

Ash looked at Brock, confused, as the trio hit the water and splashed away.

"Wet!" he heard Meowth moan. "Wet again!"

* * *

Lenny's appearance on the beach had caused quite the stir.

"Ash, you'd better return him," Misty counseled, prompting him to do so.

The rangers running for them slowed somewhat. "Was that Gyarados yours?" the lead one asked.

"Yeah!" Ash said, eagerly—he was fairly certain that most starting trainers didn't have one.

"We're going to have to confiscate it—"

" _What?"_ Ash squawked, appalled.

The ranger winced a bit at his volume. "The Tentacool have been stirring up the local Pokémon—if you caught it here—"

"I didn't catch him _here!_ I caught him on Route One as a Magikarp!"

"Can we see the documentation?"

"How?"

"Your Pokédex."

"Sure, fine, here," Ash groused, handing it over.

"Where are we?" Brock asked, looking around.

"Port Vista," the ranger said, hitting a few buttons on the Pokédex. "All right, your story checks out." He handed the Pokédex back to Ash. "But you're still in trouble for Surfing in a cordoned-off area—"

 _"What?"_ Ash, Misty and Brock chorused.

"We just escaped from a sunken ship!" Misty squawked. "I'm pretty sure our Surfing here was justified!"

"Even with Lenny not knowing Surf," Brock muttered.

" _You_ hush!"

"Sunken ship?" one of the other rangers asked, confused. "You don't mean the _S.S. Anne_?"

"Yeah, that was the ship—" Ash began.

The rangers were already on their Pokénavs. "Survivors from the _S.S. Anne_!"

"What are your names?" one demanded.

"Uh, I'm Ash Ketchum," Ash said, startled.

"Misty Waterflower," Misty said.

"Brock T. Harrison," Brock said.

"We'll alert your families—they'll be glad you're all right," one ranger said. "In the meantime, let's get you indoors and fed."

"I'd love that," Ash said, mouth salivating at the sound of food.

"I'm sure news of my death went over well with my sisters," Misty mused as they followed.

"How morbid," Brock informed her.

"Yeah…why are the Tentacool stirring up local Pokémon, by the way?" Misty asked.

"Port Vista has grown over the years," one of the rangers said, escorting them into a hotel. "And the increased activity has agitated them. We're capturing some and relocating them, but it's going to be a long process."

Misty glanced at Ash. "I'm a water trainer," she said. "Maybe I can help."

"It'd be appreciated."

The next few hours were a blur of food, being escorted to their rooms, and cleaning up.

"Ugh," Ash moaned, pulling on clean hotel pajamas and toweling his hair as he left the bathroom. "I feel a _whole_ lot better."

 ** _"That's what happens when you bathe on a regular basis."_**

"Darkrai!" Ash yelped, looking up sharply to see the legendary floating over his bed.

Darkrai deftly dodged the flying hug-tackle, leaving Ash to flop face-first onto the bed. **_"Don't get all worked up—this doesn't mean that I like you,"_** Darkrai informed him.

"And yet you came to save my life."

 ** _"That's true….You know, in some cultures, that'd mean you'd have to do everything I said from now on."_**

"Not _my_ culture."

 ** _"You could convert."_**

 _"Pika,"_ Pikachu said, pausing in his grooming to address them.

 ** _"And what use would I have for a yellow rat?"_**

Ash didn't hear Pikachu's response—he drifted off on the soft bed, relief knocking him clean out.

"Thanks, Darkrai," he managed before the oblivion of sleep.


	31. Port Vista

**Chapter 31, everybody! In which we kick back, relax, and enjoy the beach….**

 **ChangelingRin, thanks for the review! Certainly! Since Tentacool are giant jellyfish, basically, and are swarming, we're talking about severe stings and poisoning at best and an angry rampaging Gyarados at worst, so they'd be wanting to confiscate a Pokémon caught in the area for a health and temperament check. Now, the fact that Lenny didn't run into any on his way in is definitely worth a mention, although we can argue that the rangers had just cleaned up that area. Yes—rewatching that part of the anime, it bugged me that everything was just 'yeah, cool' and then moving on. I think the fic** ** _Traveler_** **is what inspired me to take a bit more time out to examine the ramifications of actually surviving an event like that and let everyone decompress (literally, if we take water pressure into account). Thank you, I shall!**

 **Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! Ah, I see. That still seems strange that they keep it all in the family—I wrote up a bit on the how and why of their appearance and names for worldbuilding purposes, but I haven't figured out a way to mention that yet here. Yes, I think they've heard that one before….The games had a few hit and miss moments as well, as apparently if you examine a Mimikyu at one point, it says "Mi curse you," so….I suppose so—it'd be like learning a foreign language: why bother with anything but a universal language that works for you if you're not going to use it in an everyday setting? It was—I think I watched that episode on a rented VHS tape ages ago, so that's about all I remember about Port Vista; the rest is just from what I've read elsewhere. Indeed.**

 **Yami-chan and Unrealistic, thanks for the review! Possibly—when all hope seems lost, Ash curses in Pokémon, throwing the attacking Pokémon off long enough for someone, probably Darkrai, to tackle them. XD Maybe—just not by the group. When I was writing it all up, it didn't make much sense for them to be there, since the two main things that happen there are being pals with Team Rocket temporarily and seeing the Pokémon interact with each other, both of which we've already seen thus far. Haha, yes—although we have to remember the sports stadiums in Unova….I am too—just a moment of punch-clock-villainy: "Oh hey, you come here too?" :D**

 **Arkisane, thanks for the review! Yup—just a tad insulting. XD**

 **IceDragonGirl36, thanks for the review! Yes, he does, but he'll deny it until the very end. :)**

 **Thanks for the review, guest! Probably….**

 **InkyTheInk, thanks for the review! Yes—I think that's one of the most well-known stories from that season. What two? Possibly—I figured leaving it up to the viewer to decide was the best approach. ;)**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **A small craft advisory has been issued for the following areas: Hoenn Routes 124, 125, 126, and 127. The small craft advisory will be repealed as soon as Kyogre goes back to sleep and stops stirring up the Pokémon.**

Darkrai was gone the next morning, but Ash wasn't too miffed at that just yet. He was talking to Ash again, at least, and that was a start, he supposed.

Although he decided he'd probably have a new problem soon enough, he reflected when he went to the breakfast buffet and only saw Brock around.

"Where's Misty?" Ash asked, coming over with a plate full of food.

"Helping out with the Tentacool," Brock said, after waiting for Ash's moment of silence. "She said she wanted to get a head-start."

"Already?"

"It _is_ almost lunchtime."

Ash conceded that and focused on eating for the next handful of minutes.

"Now what?" he finally asked after he came up for air. "I have no idea where Port Vista is compared to the rest of Kanto."

"I think we're somewhere between Vermillion and Fuchsia," Brock said, indicating a map mounted on the wall. "We're not too far off course."

Ash stared at the map. "I guess I could challenge the Fuchsia City Gym," he decided. "Fuchsia has a gym, right?"

Brock nodded. "It specializes in Poison typing, and its leader is Koga the ninja."

"A _ninja_ gym?"

"I didn't get it either."

"But that's so cool!"

"Uh-huh."

"I think Patches is the only one who can handle Poison-types well," Ash said, thinking. "So we'll have to get everyone up a few levels before that—"

"Ash, _Ash—slow down,"_ Brock counseled, waving a hand in his face. "I don't know about you, but _I_ plan to take a few days off at _least_."

Ash was aghast at that. "What? Why?"

"Because we just had what we in the business like to call _a near-death experience,_ " Brock said, leaning back in his chair. "It's the sort of thing people have to come to terms with, and it's better to do that now instead of in the heat of something dire. But you _are_ going to have to come to terms with it instead of dodging it like Misty's doing right now."

"Uh…huh," Ash noised, looking at Pikachu before returning his attention to Brock. "And how are _you_ coping with it?"

"For starters? Spending a good chunk of last night and this morning sending thank-yous skyward. Next I plan to visit a library and then, I don't know, make a sand castle and have some ice cream. Little things."

Ash sighed and tried very hard not to sulk.

"Ash, calm down," Brock advised. "The League Conference isn't until this time next year—you have plenty of time to stop and smell the Roselia."

"Fine," Ash noised. "But if training helps me cope, that's all right, right?"

"I suppose—I've heard of studies on how being around Pokémon is therapeutic." At that, Brock's expression darkened. "Speaking of…that black Pokémon from yesterday."

Ash stared at him before glancing around. Satisfied no one was paying attention, he turned back to Brock. "You mean Darkrai?"

"Darkrai," Brock repeated, nodding slightly. "That's not a Kantoan Pokémon."

"I think he said he was from Sinnoh."

"Uh-huh."

Ash frowned slightly, thinking he could guess where Brock was going with this. "Darkrai's not a _bad_ Pokémon, Brock."

"I'm sure," Brock said, checking his watch before standing up. "I think I'll go look for that library now. See you tonight, Ash."

"Bye," Ash noised, waving.

When he was gone, Ash turned to Pikachu.

"What was that about?" he asked.

"Pika _,"_ Pikachu noised, shrugging.

Ash frowned, digesting the previous conversation.

And then what they had just discussed hit him with its full weight.

"Holy Shiftry," Ash muttered. "We really did nearly _die._ "

" _Pika."_

"I mean, that's pretty serious stuff."

 _"_ Pika _."_

"Maybe we _should_ take a _little_ break—I mean, you know, to rest up."

 _"_ Pika _."_

"There's only one problem, as far as I can see."

 _"_ Pika?"

"We'll have to go to Hoenn in order to stop and smell the Roselia—and I don't feel like getting on a ship anytime soon."

 _" Pika."_

* * *

Ash decided after some consideration to take a leaf out of Brock's book. Therefore, after breakfast, he was out on the beach, reclining in one of the beach chairs with his hat over his eyes and Pikachu in his lap.

It lasted about five minutes.

"Aw, man, I'm _bored_ ," Ash moaned, sitting up and dislodging a protesting Pikachu. "I've got to do _something_ besides sit around—I wonder if the rangers would mind us catching a beach Pokémon or two."

"Pika _,"_ Pikachu noised.

"Yeah, probably….Come on—let's go for a walk."

And with that, Ash struck off along the beach, heading away from the buildings and to more sedate locales. He had never really been one for crowds and had never been a social Butterfree—which kind of sucked, now that he thought about it. But he had always had more fun running around in the fields with Darkrai and the other Pokémon instead of trying to ignore Gary's teasing in a group of people.

"You think I ought to try to be more sociable?" Ash asked Pikachu.

"Pika?" Pikachu queried, looking up at him.

"I don't know either—hey look! A battle!"

Ash picked up the pace in time to catch the end of a match between two tuber-kids—the little girl's Rattata was knocked out by the boy's….

Ash checked his Pokédex, which came up empty. Did it get damaged in the water or what?

"Hey," Ash called, walking up as the girl gave the boy his winnings. "What kind of Pokémon is that?"

"This is an Azurill," the boy said happily. "Mom got him for me when we went to Hoenn last year."

Okay, that explained it. "I caught the last bit of that battle—that was so cool," Ash complimented, crouching down to look at the Azurill better. "Your Rattata was good too," Ash mentioned to the girl.

"Yeah, but we need to practice more," she said.

"I'm gonna be a trainer someday!" the boy boasted.

Ash perked up at that. "Really? Well, I'm a trainer—let's have a battle!"

"Okay. _Mom! I'm gonna battle again!"_ the kid yelled, projecting at a lady sitting in a chair under an umbrella and reading a book.

She glanced up over her sunglasses and under her sun hat, spotted Ash, and put a bookmark in her book. "Fine dear," she said. "But when I say it's over, you both quit." At that, she glared levelly at Ash. "Are we clear?"

"Yeah Mom."

"Sure," Ash said demurely, standing—he could get the drift the mom was sending: _don't kill my son's Pokémon._

Well, that nixed Lenny and Frenzy—and probably Pikachu, since it looked like a water type. And probably Patches, since poisoning the Azurill probably wasn't a good thing. Let's see…that left Charmander—not a good choice here—and…aha.

"Go, Vee!" Ash called, sending the Eevee out. Vee landed with an excited call and ran in a circle before facing the Azurill squarely. At least his Pokémon weren't bothered by the _S.S. Anne_ adventure—at least, that was what the nurse had said.

"All right Vee," Ash said, calculating—be aware of his surroundings, right? "Use Sand Attack!"

Vee's ears twitched as he glanced around, got the drift, and ran forward, spinning around at the last second to send a tailful of sand at the Azurill's face.

"Bouncy! Use Splash!" the boy yelled.

The Azurill did so—and dodged the Sand Attack completely.

Ash couldn't help but stare for a moment.

"Why didn't I think of that with Lenny?" Ash asked finally.

The boy hastened to follow up on this opening. "Bouncy! Slam!"

Ash snapped himself out of it. "Vee! Quick Attack!"

Vee dodged, spun and rammed into the Azurill.

"Water Gun!"

"Quick Attack!"

"Use Bubble!"

That wouldn't be as easy to dodge. "Swift! Now!"

Vee spat out stars, meeting the bubbles and detonating them.

"Now! Quick Attack!" Ash yelled.

Vee ran through the smokescreen and collided with the Azurill, sending it bouncing away.

"Bouncy!" the boy yelped, running over to check on the Azurill.

"All right, that's enough," the mom said. She nodded at Ash and beckoned him over. "You won."

Ash came over and accepted the five dollars she pulled out of her purse.

"Aw, Mom," the boy moaned, cradling the Azurill. "We could have beaten him!"

"Maybe when you can gauge Pokémon strength better," she said, closing her purse.

Ash glanced at the money. It really was a lot for such a simple match….

He held the five up in front of the two kids. "Who wants ice cream?"

That may very well have been what Darkrai liked to call a dumb question.


	32. Sand Castles

**Chapter 32, everybody! In which sand castles happen and Misty gets paid in animal skeletons….**

 **Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! My goodness yes. I haven't gotten that far in the game or the anime (and probably won't—** ** _Sun/Moon_** **didn't wow me like previous generations did, too many cutscenes), but from the sounds of it, that might be a good thing (well, when its disguise is busted, the 'dex says it breaks its neck, so…). Again, it's one of those 'why learn it if there's never a need?' things. This is true—you'd think he'd learn….Yes, yes, and yes. And I know—it makes you wonder just how, exactly, three kids can go off wandering about cross-country;** ** _someone_** **has to pay for Brock's rice. *shrug***

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! Thank you, I'm glad you like it! Yes—and maybe.**

 **IceDragonGirl36, thanks for the review! Yes….**

 **Ardtornismyname, thanks for the review! We'll see. And we'll see. And now I want to actually** ** _try_** **a rice ball and see what they taste like….**

 **Yami-chan and Unrealistic, thanks for the review! Perhaps—but not here. Darn it, we must have gotten a Psyduck with Cloud Nine that used Rain Dance….Well, it's a Hoenn weather forecast being mentioned in a Kanto broadcast—I imagine it would have the same urgency as coastal flooding in Florida being mentioned in Alaska. Tis true, tis true…I think so. Me too….**

 **AveragePichu, thanks for the review! Ah, hope you had fun! :) Good question—one of these days, the realization will come crashing down on him….Let's not forget all the electric shocks and fire blasts that** ** _should_** **have killed him as well….**

 **InkyTheInk, thanks for the review! Yes! And good luck with that! ^v^/**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

 **Kingdom Hearts © Disney; Square Enix**

 ** _Jaws_** **© 1975 Steven Spielberg**

 ** _Titanic_** **© 1997 James Cameron**

 ** _Poseidon Adventure_** **© 1972 Ronald Neame; Irwin Allen (read the synopsis and can't say I recommend it)**

 ** _Homeward Bound_** **© 1993 Duwayne Dunham**

 ** _Seinfeld_** **© 1989 Larry David; Jerry Seinfeld ("No soup for you!"—which is the extent of my knowledge of the show)**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **In other news, the theme park Pokémon Land is closed until further notice following severe technical difficulties. No word on when it is projected to open again.**

Ash and Pikachu sat at one of the beachside café's outdoor benches, eating ice cream. Sea-salt ice cream was a surprisingly tasty flavor, Ash discovered.

When they finished, they continued on down the beach, Ash still remarkably restless.

"I wonder if that's one of those coping-things Brock mentioned," Ash said to Pikachu.

"Pika," Pikachu returned, shrugging.

Ash sighed—this would be a lot easier if he didn't feel so wound-up. They needed a new plan.

Well, training was always a good idea.

He released the rest of his Pokémon, with the exception of Lenny—he didn't want rangers tackling them again.

"Okay," Ash noised, when they were all looking at him.

And then something occurred to him, prompting him to look around. What was that that Brock had mentioned?

"Who wants to build a sand castle?" he asked, turning back to his team.

His Pokémon looked at him, confused.

* * *

As it turned out, after showing them the ropes, Pokémon were surprisingly adept at sand-castle-building.

The beach had started emptying out around late afternoon, so Ash let Lenny out to join the fun. The now-Gyarados stretched extravagantly before making a happy noise at seeing Ash.

"We're kind of just goofing off for today," Ash told him. "And we need a dragon for the sand castle. Want to help the guys with the moat?"

Another happy noise as Lenny looked the whole affair over before assisting, using his tail fins to scoop sand away.

Ash sat at the edge of the moat of what was rapidly becoming a very impressive sand castle and checked his Pokédex. Huh, still working. He looked up Gyarados.

And after reading the description, he looked back at Lenny, who was decidedly _not_ rampaging viciously.

"Okay," Ash said, looking to Pikachu sitting next to him. "I've decided: this stupid thing is broken."

" _Pika_ ," Pikachu noised.

"Wow, now _this_ is a production."

Ash turned at the new voice, saw Brock coming up with a little cooler in hand. "Yeah," Ash said. "As it turns out, Pokémon _really_ love sand castles."

Indeed, with the exception of Frenzy, who was sitting passively in the sand-throne at the top of the castle, the other Pokémon had gone to town on construction. Charmander was currently sitting on a ledge overlooking a pile of things Patches had dug up while digging the moat, alternating between helping Vee and Pikachu make turrets and playing fierce Dragon Type defending its horde. Lenny had assisted in finishing the moat, and now he and Patches were making a second castle with the moat sand.

Brock took all of this in before releasing his Pokémon. Onix and Lenny evaluated each other for a moment before coming to some sort of understanding, carefully pulling huge swathes of sand together to form a new sand castle and disturbing a few Krabby while they were at it. Zubat flapped around the completed castle, curious. And Geodude and Bulbasaur looked the whole thing over before going over to help the other Pokémon with the second sand castle.

"I wonder why you never see Pokémon do this," Ash mused, leaning back.

"Let's be honest," Brock said, putting the cooler down and crouching in front of it. "This is the sort of thing that probably attracts a lot of people."

"All right, I'll give it that," Ash said, accepting the Poke-Cola that Brock fished out and handed to him. "It's still different, though."

"I kind of wonder how they knew how to _make_ a sand castle."

"I showed them," Ash said, pointing. "Although I'm kind of embarrassed about it now—it's kinda pitiful looking in comparison."

Brock looked at the little simple affair. "Well, yeah, it is."

"You didn't have to _agree_ with me."

"Uh huh," Brock noised, opening his own soda and taking a drink. "So," he continued, wiping his mouth clean. "How have you been?"

"Are we _really_ going to be awkwardly asking each other that question for the rest of our lives?"

"Of course not—just until we realize we don't need to ask it anymore."

Ash gave that some thought. "Well, I tried everything you suggested short of stopping and smelling the Roselia, and only because there aren't any around."

"And?"

"And I don't know."

Brock nodded. "It'll get better, I'm sure."

"Oh really? And how many times _have_ you gone through this _near death experience_ thing?"

Brock considered this. "Once. Onix and I were exploring a cave near Pewter, hunting for Rock Pokémon—I had just gotten him for my birthday, and I thought roaming around with a giant rock snake was the coolest thing ever."

"That's because it is."

"This is true. Anyway, the cave collapses, the only space I have is where Onix curled up around me to protect me, and I panic."

"You _did_ just have a cave collapse on you."

"Yeah. Onix curls his tail around me and digs his way out, I thank him profusely, and we have a good time about how we just cheated death and all that."

Ash glanced over at Onix; the big Pokémon was watching them now, obviously following the conversation.

"And then the next day, I walk into the gym—Dad was still running it at the time—I walk into it to help clean, look up…and then _wham,_ right back in that cave collapsing on my head. Onix barrels straight through the wall and curls up around me, because he heard me scream, and then he wouldn't let anyone get near me. It took Dad's Quagsire to get him to even _think_ about calming down, and then he doesn't move until I say I'm all right."

"Wow," Ash noised, still watching Onix, who was now watching him. In the late sun, the Onix looked _ancient_ , like an eons-old guardian sent to watch over them.

"Pokémon are a lot more perceptive than humans give them credit for," Brock continued. "Maybe them going to town is their way of distracting us from our current problems."

"They're doing a good job," Ash said. "You know, except for the fact we're still talking about it."

"This is true."

"Maybe we should stop talking about it."

"Are you going to panic the next time you're in a boat?"

Ash half-turned so he could see the ocean in the setting sun and watched the waves crash for a few minutes.

"I don't think I'll be going near a large body of water for a while, if it's all the same to you," Ash said, turning back to him. "Ah…the ocean's a lot scarier than I first gave it credit for, and that's _with_ watching _Jaws."_

"Well, at least there's _something_ approaching a brain in your head then."

Ash and Brock looked to see Misty coming up to them, a paper bag in hand.

"The ocean's nothing to mess with," Misty said, coming even with them. "And…I guess I was a little silly, thinking something manmade couldn't be destroyed by it."

"What do you think," Brock posed. " _Titanic_ or _Poseidon Adventure?"_

 _"Poseidon Adventure_ ," Ash said promptly. "Because the ship was upside-down and underwater."

"That sucked," Misty said, before looking at the sand castles. "What is this?"

"Sand castles."

"I can see that."

"Pokémon like sand castles, apparently."

"I can see that."

"Sit," Brock ordered, patting the sand next to him. When she did so, he indicated the bag. "What is that? Dinner?"

"Take-out," Misty clarified. "One of the rangers said this place had really good dim sum." She opened the bag and handed a container to Ash. "And what are you doing watching _Jaws,_ anyway?"

"It was a good movie," Ash countered. "Granted, I refused to go near anything resembling standing water for three months afterwards—"

 ** _"Which did nothing to win you friends or influence people, I'll have you know."_**

"Which brings me to the next pertinent point I'd like to discuss," Brock said, catching the food as Misty yelped in alarm before pointing at Darkrai, who had suddenly appeared out of the gloom to hover over the nearer sand castle. "This Pokémon—Darkrai. How does a Legendary Pokémon from Sinnoh end up all the way in Kanto?"

 ** _"I flew, genius,"_** Darkrai said, apparently giving up taking the throne from Frenzy as too much trouble and drifting over to Ash to demonstrate.

"You flew," Misty repeated—if looks could kill, Ash would be having to bury Darkrai right now.

Darkrai, meanwhile, didn't seem intimidated. At all. **_"Oh sure! You just think of a wonderful thought!"_ ** he said, practically oozing sarcasm as he clasped his claws together.

"And what would a wonderful thought for _you_ be? Death and destruction?"

 ** _"Oh, how rich."_** Ash sensed what was coming and managed to stuff a dumpling into his mouth before Darkrai snatched the container away. **_"And you—you did not need this."_**

"Don't make me go all _Kung-Fu Pangoro_ on you," Ash threatened.

" ** _Uh-huh. And don't talk with your mouth full."_**

"I gave that to _Ash,"_ Misty pointed out.

 ** _"And?"_** Darkrai asked, floating in a relaxed position and popping a dumpling into his mouth.

"And I didn't give it to _you_."

 ** _"And I care because?"_**

"I _paid_ for it, genius."

Darkrai considered this before reaching behind his collar, temporarily looming over Misty before dropping something white in her lap.

 ** _"Have a sand dollar,"_** he deadpanned.

And with that, he was back to drifting and eating, as Misty held up what indeed turned out to be a sand dollar. She seemed to consider this for a moment before putting it in her chest pocket.

"I'll take it," she said finally, before handing Ash another container. "You're lucky I bought with your appetite in mind. And none for you," she added, pointing at Darkrai.

 ** _"See, you said that like I care."_**

Ash pointed at Darkrai. " _That's_ why I eat like I do. 'No soup for you,'" he added, grinning as he looked at Darkrai.

 ** _"Your imitation is deplorable."_**

"Moving on," Brock said, pulling a few sheets of paper out as Pikachu came over and started pawing at Ash's pants until he handed a dumpling over. "I went to the library and did some digging:

"'Darkrai: the Pitch Black legendary,'" Brock read. "'It is active during the night of the new moon. Folklore has it that it will lure people to sleep and have them experience horrific nightmares. It is in constant battle with Cresselia, the Full Moon legendary, and is one half of the Lunar Duo of Sinnoh."

 ** _"Does it mention that I eat kids?"_** Darkrai asked.

"That didn't come up."

"How is it he talks?" Misty asked.

 ** _"I'm a Legendary—it comes with the territory,"_** Darkrai said, waving it off before snitching another dumpling from Ash.

Misty jumped up, but Darkrai was already out of reach. **_"Ha ha,"_** he taunted.

Misty fumed before digging into her bag, rearing back, and flinging something at Darkrai.

"You don't want to catch—" Ash started, before Darkrai moved and caught whatever it was she pitched.

 ** _"A mallet?"_** Darkrai asked, drifting back down to their level.

"It's usually super effective," Misty said. "Now give it back."

 ** _"Make me."_**

"Don't think I only have the one."

"Maybe we should continue this conversation later," Brock posed. "It's getting awfully dark."

Misty squinched her eyes shut, like it was taking a lot of self-control in order to drop the topic and move on.

"Fine," she spat finally. "The rangers said they'd be getting everyone off the beach at sundown anyway. But this isn't over," she added, pointing at Darkrai.

 ** _"I can't wait,"_** Darkrai deadpanned.


	33. Who's On First?

**Chapter 33, everybody! In which the group quotes Abbott and Costello and the writer apologizes for the delay—school and stocking against winter took precedence. ^^;**

 **Misty and Brock's minor baseball discussion stems from a conversation my parents had once, where my Dad taught my Mom about football** **—love it when real life inspires fiction** **. ^^**

 **Clow Angel, thanks for the review! I believe that is an answer best left up to viewer interpretation.**

 **Yami-chan and Unrealistic, thanks for the review! Yes, I'm sure if it were closer or more cataclysmic, it would get more air time (consider Hurricane Harvey in Texas right now). As it is, it's a mild inconvenience working up to something worse, potentially (like how we track tropical storms crossing the Atlantic). Ah good, I'm glad it worked. :D It's amazing how blasé Brock is about everything—I guess with all those siblings, he's seen it all. :D Soon, I imagine….**

 **IceDragonGirl36, thanks for the review! Good question….**

 **Dragonkeeper10, thanks for the review! Tis true, tis true….**

 **Boggie445, thanks for the review! I do too! :D**

 **InkyTheInk, thanks for the review! This is true…oh dear….:O**

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! Yes and oh my goodness yes. :D**

 **Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! Oh dear….Hmm, maybe I'll give it a try. This is true. This is also true—now that I think on it, I don't think Ash keeps regular contact with his mom on his journeys, which makes no sense; I was nearly a decade older than Ash and still called my Mom every day when I attended a campus college. There must be some difference in the Pokémon world's culture….Good question….This is true—very little, but it's there. It must have made an impression on the fandom (pun not intended)—the only time I can ever remember seeing it was during the argument at the beginning of the Kids' Day episode. *shrug***

 **Thanks for the review, Guest! Most likely. Thank you, I'm glad you like them! :D**

 **Thanks for the reviews, Anonymous Person! :D We'll be getting into that later in the story, but for now let's just say that he had youthful indiscretions and emotional turmoil. About the reviews—I haven't the foggiest. They appear in order of posting for me with the exception of anonymous reviews, which show up a day or two later unless I fast-approve them. I can check by chapter, I notice, but I prefer to answer them in the order that they appear. Darkrai in denial is a possible thing. As for the Magikarp, I've always heard it was based on an old legend that said a carp that jumped up a particular waterfall could turn into a dragon (which, now that I think of it, should mean that Magikarp evolves upon learning Waterfall…). I can't tell you about Feebas, unless it's what you say. To be fair, at the time all she knows is that folklore says Darkrai can cause nightmares—she hasn't seen him in action yet, just that he's scary-looking and mostly mouth. *shrug***

 **Cypher DS, thanks for the review! Seeing which chapter you're on, you should find out soon….**

 **Ardtornismyname, thanks for the 400** **th** **review! This is true….**

 **JuptileNamudori253, thanks for the review! I actually have not watched "The Ghost of Maiden's Peak" (my relationship with the show was spotty until we got cable), but I have a lot planned for Lavender Town and the Tower of Terror. :D Probably…not. ;)**

 **CannotWrite2SaveMyLife, thanks for the review! I find it interesting that a gag I tossed in is being so well-enjoyed, thank you. :D**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

 ** _Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl_** **© 2003 Gore Verbinski ("That was for the smell")**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **This radio drama has been presented by Gold Coal! The shiny coal produced by the shiny Torkoal!**

Misty released Staryu before going into the bathroom and told it to guard the door. Once it responded with a stern _hyrhah!_ and poised itself before the door, she ducked in and locked it for good measure.

Satisfied that she wouldn't be disturbed, she set to washing the salt water from the day off of her. _Just_ today—she had washed off the salt from _that_ event the day before. And yet the feeling still lingered. Brock had been right during breakfast that morning—this was going to be a persistent problem for a while.

Speaking of things they had discussed—Darkrai, that pitch-black Pokémon that Ash somehow knew.

She and Brock had both agreed that they were to keep an eye on it and find out more about it, starting with what it was exactly and how Ash knew it.

Misty personally didn't think they'd come up with anything positive. That thing was mean and caustic, and was apparently the reason Ash ate like it was going out of style.

And for some reason, Ash seemed to _like_ the stupid thing.

She didn't get that at all.

She toweled off and dressed in her pajamas, reflecting on that. Why, why, _why_ would Ash want to be _friends_ with _that?_

Well, she reflected, checking her reflection before leaving the bathroom, there was only one way to find out—

She skidded to a halt beside the bed, where Brock was sitting, and looked at Ash, Pikachu, and Darkrai sitting on the floor. Everyone in the room was currently riveted to the baseball game on the little TV.

"What is this?" she had to ask.

"Bottom of the ninth— _oh come on! That was a foul!"_ Brock bellowed, half-getting up off the bed in his fervor.

 ** _"That didn't even hit the backstop!"_** Darkrai yelled at the TV.

"That thing watches baseball," Misty said.

 ** _"That thing also has ears and can hear you."_**

"Uh- _huh._ Then maybe you can tell me _why_ you were bothering us to begin with."

 ** _"Later—more important thing going on."_**

Misty glared before leaning over to hiss in Brock's ear. "What happened to keeping an eye on this thing?"

"I am," Brock responded, pointing. "It's right there in front of me. I can see it."

"You're focused on a ball game."

"As is the Darkrai. Sit—watch the game."

Misty sighed, detecting that she was losing the battle, and sat on the bed next to Brock.

"So who's playing?" she asked.

"The Castellia City Cubones and the Lake Rage Gyarados," Brock said. "The Gyarados are currently winning three to two."

 ** _"Unless they call this game right and the Cubones get to use their loaded bases,"_** Darkrai interposed.

The fact that a Pokémon even _knew_ about that (which, granted, constituted her rudimentary knowledge of the sport in its entirety) was mind-boggling. "Is everyone in this room a baseball fan?" she had to ask.

"I am," Brock said.

 ** _"Yes,"_** the Darkrai said.

 _"Pika,"_ Pikachu noised, nodding.

"Out of necessity," Ash said. "I don't really _follow_ the game—I just like watching them play."

Misty hadn't even gotten that far as far as baseball watching was concerned.

"I don't suppose teaching me is in the future," Misty said to Brock.

"It could be," Brock said. "How much do you know?"

"The guy on the mound is the pitcher, and the guy on home plate is supposed to hit the ball he throws so he can run around the bases. That is the extent of my knowledge."

"I've got my work cut out for me then. The guy on the mound is the pitcher, yes, and he's trying to throw the ball to the catcher, who is crouched behind the batter and is in front of the umpire—who apparently is blind, if the way this game has been called is any indication. The guys without gloves on the other bases are batters who managed to walk, which requires four balls to walk. The difference between a ball and a strike is if the ball goes out of the strike zone, which is about as wide as a batter's swing radius and as tall as his shins to his shoulders."

Brock continued on in this fashion, describing the game in detail and frequently punctuated by him leaping up and yelling at the TV, an action shared by Darkrai and Ash.

"I'm pretty sure they can't hear you," Misty said when he sat back down.

"Yeah, but it helps somewhat," Brock said. "So where were we?"

"You were getting ready to tell me who's in the outfield."

 ** _"No, no,"_** Darkrai interrupted, one claw up. **_"Who is on first."_**

"Who _is_ on first?"

 ** _"Exactly."_**

Misty blinked before deciding to give it up as a lost cause. "So who's in the outfield?" she asked Brock.

" ** _No —Who is on first."_**

"'Stay outta the infield,'" Ash said, grinning.

"What is this?" Misty asked Brock, pointing.

"Abbott and Costello," Brock said.

"What is on second base," Ash supplied.

"Don't you start," Misty said, pointing at him. Satisfied he was ceasing and desisting, she turned back to Brock. "So," she said, considering her words carefully. "I don't know who's in the outfield—"

 _"Third base,"_ everyone else chimed in.

 _"Shut up!"_

* * *

Misty woke up once after falling asleep on the bed, to find that Brock and Ash were also sleeping and the Darkrai was watching TV. Well, not watching—it wasn't looking at the TV. Rather, it was focused on a spot on the floor right in front of it, practically on top of the TV as it played some old movie. Really old. Like still in black and white old. She wanted to ask what it was doing watching such an old movie, but ended up drifting off again before she could.

When she woke up again, it was morning, the Darkrai was gone, and Brock had apparently decided it was all right to use her ankles as a pillow.

She corrected this assumption by rolling Brock off the bed and onto the floor. Then, ignoring Brock's exclamation and protests, she shook Ash awake.

"Five more minutes," Ash moaned, hugging Pikachu to his chest.

"Wake up," Misty demanded. "The Darkrai's gone—where did it go?"

"Gbphnh?"

"Wake up before I have Staryu douse you."

"Mphmnn."

Misty sighed, released Staryu, and gave the order. Within moments, Ash was awake and spluttering, along with Pikachu, unfortunately.

"Sorry, Pikachu," Misty said quickly, hoping to defuse the situation. It worked, mildly—she only got a small shock.

"What was _that_ for?" Ash demanded, wiping water off his face.

"I told you to get up," Misty countered. "Now what happened to the Darkrai?"

"No clue—Darkrai does his own thing, mostly."

"I thought you said you were friends with that thing."

"I am—but that doesn't mean I know what he's up to twenty-four-seven."

Misty couldn't help but gesture in frustration. "So it's gone again."

"He might be back soon," Ash said, squelching as he stood. "It depends on his mood."

Misty gave that some thought before signaling Staryu.

" _Hey!"_ Ash squawked, recovering from the sudden deluge. " _I'm already awake!"_

"That was for the smell," Misty said matter-of-factly.

* * *

They had barely exited the hotel for their intended activities before they were suddenly accosted by a mob.

At least, that was the initial impression.

Ash started in alarm as the press of people descended upon them, screaming their names—

Wait a minute—

 _"Mom?"_ he squawked, just as the person in question squashed him in a hug.

"Ash! You're all right!" she wailed, not relinquishing her grip as she practically swung him back and forth.

"Mom—you're choking me—"

"Sorry," she said, loosening her grip but not letting go completely. "You _are_ all right, right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Ash said, rubbing at his neck. "Why wouldn't I—oh."

"That was the _worst_ call I've ever gotten!" his mother informed him, shaking him slightly. "Don't you _ever_ do that to me again!"

"Believe me—I have no intention of ever being on a sinking ship again."

"Good," she said, putting a hand on his cheek. "I'm glad that's settled."

Misty, meanwhile, was apparently trying to make sense of her sobbing sisters.

"Now hold it!" she said finally. "I thought you all hated me!"

"That doesn't mean we want you _dead!"_ one cried.

"That doesn't dissuade my statement."

Ash smirked a little as one of Brock's numerous siblings dodged around him to better get to his brother—trust Misty to focus on that point. He turned at the feeling of a hand on his shoulder—

"Professor Oak!" Ash greeted. "What are you doing here?"

"Being a professor has its privileges," Professor Oak said. "And having an Alakazam that knows Teleport helps. But enough about me—how on earth did you escape a sunken ship?"

"We blew a hole in the bottom. Oh hey, Mom—Lenny evolved."

"That's wonderful," his mom said. "The evolving, not the possible explosives."

"So where's Gary?"

"Not here," Professor Oak said. "Apparently, neighborly concern doesn't interest him—he's already on his way to get his fifth badge."

 _"What?_ Ah man, I'm behind—I have to go!"

"Oh no you don't," his mom said, catching him before he could bolt. "The League isn't going anywhere—you have at least _some_ time to spend with your mother, right? Assure her that you're okay? Eat dinner with her?"

Okay, those were all valid points. "All right," Ash relented. "And you get to meet my team properly too."

"I wouldn't mind seeing that as well," Professor Oak said. "And then later we can discuss that Clefairy video you sent me."

"All right."

Walking away from the crowd with his mother, Ash's eye caught Brock—who gave him a thumbs-up. Ash returned it wholeheartedly.

Some things simply worked better than ice cream and sand castles.


	34. Report

**Chapter 34, everybody! In which I finally get the lead out of my rear end and post—fair warning that posting might be spotty until the end of October; our crops are coming in. ^^;**

 **ChangelingRin, thanks for the review! Ah, glad you like it. :D I agree, that seems strange—"oh you just had a life-threatening experience? That's nice dear"—especially with how Ash's mom reacts to him being in danger in the second movie. Thank you, I shall! :D**

 **Dunkaccino, thanks for the review! To be fair, I read that Marvel Comics did a study on how much time a person can devote to an online reading, and based on that study, they aimed to keep their digital comics short—about three pages worth. Based on that, I tend to start looking for soft spots to bail and end a chapter at around three pages, although recently I've been trying to make sure to maintain a minimum of 2,000 words per chapter (I've actually spliced some chapters together, to be fair, so they're not so short—they're easy to spot because they're written in a choppier manner). I try not to be one of those 'update every few months' people, but 1) I'm working on earning a degree, and 2) I'm helping with outdoor work, so the entirety of my summer has been booked solid and fun fanfics are unfortunately put on the back burner. My apologies. ^^;**

 **IceDragonGirl36, thanks for the review! The world may never know….**

 **Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! Good question….Yes, and then the Professor wakes up—"Did I leave the TV on again?" Maybe—that would make more sense. Again, maybe…he takes lessons from Professor Kukui. Not sure on that one. *shrugs***

 **Dragonkeeper10, thanks for the review! True—and good question….**

 **Grievousrommel, thanks for the review! Haha, yes—my first experience with it was a classmate in Speech Class at college doing it while his roommate recorded it; he did both Abbot and Costello, and that clip went all over the college (I still have a copy of it, come to think of it). Oh dear…is he still doing it?...**

 **Scarlet Firesong, thanks for the review! Yes! *slides tissues over***

 **Johnny Spectre, thanks for the review! I don't know…."What do you mean someone's stealing my schtick?"**

 **InkyTheInk, thanks for the review! I think you only have to understand baseball if you're interested in it—otherwise it can just be a sandlot game where you chase a ball around until it becomes Calvinball. Yes! Well, Blue Coal—which Gold Coal is a parody of—is/was apparently treated on-site to have its trademark blue color, so…only the Shadow knows….**

 **Ardistornismyname, thanks for the review! Well, Misty** ** _is_** **travelling with two guys of questionable maturity. Good question—perhaps we shall see….I'm going to have to figure that out and get back to you.**

 **Keyper3, thanks for the review! I'm even later, apparently—I've never actually played** ** _Dark Souls_** **, so that reference was purely by accident. XD**

 **Thanks for the review, Guest! Well, as we saw in the** ** _Black/White_** **games, the Pokémon world does have baseball, which is a lot easier to follow than Pokebase, to be fair. XD**

 **InfernalFox, thanks for the review! I've had that problem too. :(**

 **Yami-chan and Unrealistic, thanks for the review! Yes, kind of refreshing from how it's portrayed in the anime….Maybe Darkrai had baseball-fan-buddies. :D It must be frustrating for a** ** _lot_** **of jobs in the Pokémon world, what with the Pokémon that do whatever (** ** _The Poképast_** **here on FanFiction is a good example of Pokémon affecting 'normal' jobs). Thank you, glad you like it. :D**

 **Thanks for the review, Guest! Actually, Houndour and Houndoom are native to Johto—the Dark type wasn't introduced until Gen II.**

 **Thanks for the review, Guest! Yes indeed! Me too. D:**

 **Vulaan Kulaas, thanks for the review! Thank you, I'm glad you like it! Yes…me too….*gets popcorn as well***

 **Blitza, thanks for the review! Thank you, glad you like it! :D**

 **Thanks for the review, Guest! Maybe.**

 **Cheese PuffXx, thanks for the review! Glad you love the story, but I'm sorry to hear that. Hope you're improving!**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

 ** _Coraline_** **© 2009 Laika; Neil Gaiman (cats don't** ** _need_** **names)**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **In other news, the captain of the _S.S. Anne_ has been found and is currently in the hospital for his injuries. The Pokémon League would like to take a moment to remind you to leave the dispensing of justice to the police and the rangers. The Pokémon League does not condone vigilantism at this time.**

The Rocket grunts at the Port Vista outpost seemed surprised to see them.

"All accounts said you were dead," one said.

"Yes, well, rumors of our death were greatly exaggerated," James said.

"Did anything good come of the _S.S. Anne_?" Jessie asked.

"Not really," one grunt said. "Honestly, it would have been better if you all drowned—the boss will be wanting to talk to you."

Eep.

They looked at each other, and James suddenly became very interested in his salt-coated shoes—they had been ducking and dodging the police and the rangers ever since hitting the shore, and they had been hoping for baths and a change of clothes upon arrival at the hideout.

Meowth wondered if he'd warrant a tie before he was cremated.

"Better get in there," one said, pointing to the booth. Closed door—oh boy.

This was it—their Ducklett was cooked.

* * *

They had sat in the booth for a good five minutes before Jessie finally said something.

"Now what?"

Meowth had no idea. None of them wanted to contact the boss with nothing to show for it but their sorry soggy hides.

"The boss ain't gonna be happy wid just us surviving," Meowth said. "We gotta have something to show for it. _Besides_ a useless foodie Magikarp."

James slouched some more—

Before suddenly straightening.

"Wait—we _do_ have something to show for the trip!" he said, excitedly dialing. "That Darkrai! We know where it is now!"

"Correction: we knew where it _was_ ," Jessie said.

"On the contrary, did you notice how it behaved towards that one twerp?" James asked as the phone rang. "If it's not _his,_ then it's attached to him, which means it'll be following him." Here James looked at Meowth. "Right? You're the Pokémon expert."

Meowth considered this. "I…yes…dat Darkrai _did_ seem pretty attached to the twerp wid da hat! Kept floating next to him and everyting!"

"Then it's settled—we find the twerp, who dollars to donuts is on his gym run, and we find that Darkrai."

It was then the phone picked up.

 _"This had better be good."_

Eep.

As one, Jessie and Meowth looked to James; at least he hadn't fainted this time.

"Um, yes, this is Jessie, James, and Meowth," Jessie said.

 _"Oh, you."_ Tone reserved for describing Muk. _"I heard you drowned."_

"Well, no, and we're sorry to say that the _S.S. Anne_ job is a bust."

 _"Funnily enough, I figured that out. Now why are you still talking?"_

"Because!" James burst in, obviously trying not to sound frantic. "We found the Darkrai too, and we know where it'll be at any given time now!"

Silence.

 _"I would love to hear this explained,"_ the boss said finally, voice dripping with sarcasm.

They exchanged glances before James launched into his explanation, not being quite as careful with his word choices as Jessie had been—James was like that.

"They arrived at Port Vista, and if we're right about them, their next stop will be Fuchsia City, since that's the closest one on the gym circuit," James concluded. "And considering how the Darkrai behaved around the one twerp, we're absolutely certain it'll be there with them."

Long silence.

 _"I see,"_ the boss said finally, still in that dangerous tone. _"And I don't suppose you got the name of said 'twerp,' did you?"_

Eep—wait!

"Ash," Meowth hissed at Jessie and James. "I heard dem two gym leaders calling him Ash."

"Ash!" James said, jumping on the bone Meowth tossed. "Ash, should be in the Indigo League database right now—has a Pokédex and everything. And he's travelling with two gym leaders, Misty from Cerulean and Brock from Pewter, so we're sure he has at least two badges."

Long, painful silence.

 _"So it seems you three aren't worthless after all,"_ the boss said finally. _"Fine then. Keep me posted on every pertinent detail—current team level, location, everything. Understood? I want full reports hitting my desk every week."_

" _Yes sir!"_ they chimed immediately.

"Uh, wait," James said, causing Meowth to suck in a breath. "How are we going to do that if we're in the middle of nowhere tracking them?"

 _"You'll have Delibird's services,"_ the boss said. _"Any other stupid questions?"_

"None whatsoever," Jessie said, elbowing James sharply. "Thank you, sir."

 _"Do not fail me."_

Click.

It took a few long, painful moments before any of them exhaled.

When they did, giddy excitement took over.

"We're alive!" Meowth cheered.

"And all we gotta do is keep an eye on those twerps!" James said, hugging Jessie. "Talk about a cake assignment!"

Jessie bonked him on the head. "I think so too, but we're not taking any chances—we're getting a tracking device and putting it on that Darkrai."

"As soon as we find it," Meowth said, his jubilation suddenly crashing down. "As far as we know, dey're already at Fuschia! And after dat dere's a dozen other ways they could go!"

"Don't panic!" Jessie ordered. "We'll just—stake out Fuschia for a while, and then after that just follow the wake of traumatized Pokémon that Darkrai leaves. We'll catch up to it sooner or later."

"So we have a plan?" James asked.

"We have a plan!"

The three of them were jumping up and down and cheering upon exiting the booth, much to the consternation and probably disappointment of the nearby goons, but who cared!

Life was back on track!

* * *

Persian dozed lightly in his bed by the boss' desk, gold Level 100 medal glinting lightly as his breathing moved it up and down slightly. The others were miffed at the fact that they weren't battling on a regular basis anymore. Not Persian. Persian welcomed the opportunity to catch up on his lazing about.

Not that he wouldn't object if his boss ordered him into battle—Persian also welcomed the opportunity to use his opponents as a scratching post.

Persian also wondered if his boss would be ordering him to use whoever those three idiots were that he had on the 'phone' as a scratching post. Or better yet, to _take care of them_. Persian liked _taking care of them_ —mostly because that meant free rein. Start with eating their smaller Pokémon, and then drag them and their larger Pokémon up to a tree fork like his species was known for and save them for later.

Sometimes he just felt sorry for those Meowth who lived in the city and _stayed_ Meowth—they would never know the true glory of being a Persian, of being nearly a hundred pounds of rippling muscle and gleaming fur, sinuously stalking prey and then—

"Huh."

Persian's ear twitched. The phone conversation was over—this much was clear. This was also _not_ how phone conversations usually ended. Usually, it would be either getting back to work or spending a few moments complaining to Persian about incompetent underlings. Persian usually feigned sleep during those times.

'Huh' was enough to get him to look up at his boss. 'Huh' was not a usual sound from him.

His boss was currently leaning back in his chair, a hand to his face, fingers splayed in that odd way that humans had—mostly because they lacked the much superior paw structure of Persian. His boss was also staring off in that way he had, where he wasn't looking at anything—the kind of thousand-yard stare that Persian had occasionally used to his advantage when it had struck a Psychic type or Clefairy.

Persian licked his lips at the thought. The humans might like Clefairy because they were rare, but Persian liked them because they were oh so tasty. But caught Pokémon were _off limits_ unless Persian was allowed to _take care of them,_ so the ones currently in their employ were safe. For now.

Persian had just about given up watching his boss for further action and was preparing to go on to more important things (like grooming) when his boss suddenly leaned forward. Rapid clicks told him his boss was messing about with that human 'computer' that sometimes smelled like Porygon. Ah, well, back to business—start licking, taking care that every strand of fur was just _so_.

The clicking stopped after a while, as did all noise. Persian recognized it as his boss' 'thinking silence.' Persian, meanwhile, kept grooming his luxurious fur—something would happen eventually.

Something did.

"Well well well," his boss said finally; Persian pricked his ears as he licked his paw pads, taking care that his claws were clean. "Delia, you might have mentioned _that_."

Persian didn't give that much thought—human names were like Persian names: entirely unnecessary. Persian knew all the important figures in his life, and didn't need _names_ to identify them; he had been quite clear in instructing his boss about the futility of naming _him_. Why waste memory remembering a title when a few sniffs told him all he needed to know?

He sensed the fingers dipping down, moved his head so it was in _just_ the right position to be petted properly. Ah, there was the spot.

"Well," his boss said, taking Persian's head in both hands and rubbing it just the way Persian liked it. "I suppose this ends up being a good day all around. The next time those idiots call—and unfortunately, they will—I'll tell them to keep an eye on the 'twerp with the hat' as well. Not only are we keeping track of a rare Pokémon _and_ keeping those three out of my hair indefinitely, we're also keeping track of that kid. In all, I'd call it a pretty good day for Team Rocket, wouldn't you?"

Persian purred in response. This was why Persian had selected _him_ to be his boss. It wasn't the head rubs or the bed or the good food he ate every day. It was the ever-present undercurrent of power and malice, that promised _prey_ on a regular basis and fun while it happened. Such a pity that his boss seemed to be a Persian unfortunate enough to be stuck in a human body.

"Now," his boss said, getting eye-to-eye with him. "There's a few idiots that need taking care of. Hungry?"

Yes he was.


	35. On the Road Again

**Chapter 35, everybody! In which Darkrai references** ** _Shrek_** **and** ** _Kung-Fu Panda 2…._** **Darkrai's a closet DreamWorks fan, apparently. And a fan of Keanu Reeves too—the "shoot the hostage" thing comes from the movie** ** _Speed_** **.**

 **In other news, thank you all for the attention this fic has received—as of this chapter, we're looking at 434 reviews, 428 favorites, and** ** _500_** **follows. Couple with over 80,000 views, and I can honestly say this thing blows all my other fics out of the water. :O Gotta make sure I keep it up!**

 **11JJ11, thanks for the review! Thank you, I'm glad you like it! :D Persian was actually surprisingly tricky to write, so I'm glad it read well. Yes….**

 **ChangelingRin, thanks for the review! Maybe—would you believe I didn't know about this particular fan-theory until last year? I read it and thought it was pretty interesting, and it stuck with me ever since. Thank you, I'm glad that worked well. :D I shall!**

 **Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! Yes…and yes—the** ** _Pokémon Live!_** **show. Well….Oh dear, what is Ash** ** _made_** **of? :O**

 **Boggie445, thanks for the review! I take it Persian was written appropriately for an evil cat then. :)**

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! Thank you, I'm glad you like it! Maybe….**

 **Dragonkeeper10, thanks for the review! Maybe…and good question….**

 **InkyTheInk, thanks for the review! Yes, check in next week, maybe we'll allow it (or maybe they used to and changed it, who knows?** ** _The Shadow does!_** **Oh wait…). So** ** _that's_** **where it comes from! I've heard it around and was never able to pin down where it comes from originally—thanks! :) It IS. And I think Persian's boss might contest ownership.**

 **Scarlet Firesong, thanks for the review! Yes….**

 **Bibliophile030, thanks for the review! Yes—I was picturing a cougar-cat and jaguar when I was writing for Persian, with a bit of the cat from** ** _Coraline_** **as well; apparently it brought a terrifying picture across. :O Good question….Well, hopefully this chapter fits the bill! :D**

 **IceDragonGirl36, thanks for the review! Awesome! Happy belated birthday! :D Yes….**

 **Blitza, thanks for the review! Yes! Mine too—found out about that particular fan-theory last year, and I loved it because of the interesting aspects of it (and it gives us a reason why Jessie, James and Meowth keep on the twerp's tail…).**

 **Caitycaterpillar, thanks for the 434th review! Frenzy's one of my favorites too—I love the effect he has on people. :D Thank you, I'm glad you like it, and I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

 ** _Shrek_** **© 2001 DreamWorks**

 ** _Kung-Fu Panda 2_** **© 2011 DreamWorks**

 ** _Speed_** **© 1994 Jan de Bont**

 **"On the Road Again" © 1979 Willie Nelson ("Just can't wait to get on the road again** **….")**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **In other news, traffic in Castellia City has come to a standstill due to a sit-in protest organized by Team PLASMA. Team PLASMA members informed the interviewing reporters that they wish to protest the senseless battling of Pokémon for human pleasure. One PLASMA admin has agreed to a more in-depth interview at a later date.**

It was nearly a week later when they finally left Port Vista. Ash was of the opinion that if they had dallied any more, he would have screamed.

Port Vista was relatively close to Fuchsia City, and didn't require much effort as far as travelling went, seeing as how it had a nice road heading there—even paved in the middle for wheeled traffic. There wasn't much traffic at the moment, however, and Ash enjoyed the relative solitude.

Misty, meanwhile, was checking her Pokéballs—she had two new acquisitions, allowed by the Rangers in an attempt to alleviate the pressure on the surrounding bay and as a thank you for helping them with the water Pokémon. The Tentacool and Horsea seemed snug and happy enough in their red and white containers.

"So according to this map, Fuchsia is a good day's worth of walking," Brock said, reading said map while deftly avoiding tripping in a crack. "I say we take it easy, get back in the swing of travelling."

"Let's not and say we did," Ash said. "Unless there's going to be training—what kind of Pokémon are on this route?"

Brock traded in his map for a field guide. "Bellsprout, Oddish, Pidgey…hey, Ash! Venonat's on here!"

"Ick," Misty said, making a face. "It's bad enough you have _one_ bug on your team—don't add another one."

"What's wrong with Venonat?" Ash asked. "They're cute and fuzzy and round. And really look like they ought to evolve into Butterfree."

"They're bugs—what else needs to be— _EEK!"_

Ash spun around in time to see Misty bolt, a timely catch of her collar by Brock preventing her from running flat-out into the woods.

Why she had bolted was quickly evident by the black blot holding a purple fuzzball.

 ** _"I told you it would be funny,"_** Darkrai said, looking at the Venonat he was carefully holding in his claws.

 _"Veno-nat,"_ the Venonat said, before allowing itself to be dropped to the ground. Once there, it ran around everyone, apparently happy with the role it had played.

" _Eee, keep that thing away from me!"_ Misty wailed, hiding behind Brock.

"The Venonat or the Darkrai?" Brock asked, sounding like he was trying not to laugh.

"Take your pick."

"That wasn't very nice," Ash decided to say, addressing Darkrai.

 ** _"You say that like it should be news to me,"_** Darkrai responded blithely, using Ash's vest to wipe his claws free of Venonat dander.

Ash rolled his eyes, directed his attention to the Venonat now dancing next to him, shedding little clouds of dust as it did so.

Wait—he was up against a poison gym next…and Poison types couldn't be poisoned…and Venonat were Poison….

"Hey, want to come travelling with us?" Ash asked the Venonat. "It'll be fun!"

 _"Ash!"_ Misty cried in protest, leaning around Brock just enough to glare at him.

Too late—the Venonat leaped into Ash's arms, apparently thrilled to death at the idea of travelling. The Pokéball Ash managed to use a few moments later experienced no resistance whatsoever.

And then—

It fizzed, flashed—

And was gone.

Ash stared at his empty hand for a moment.

"The Venonat vaporized," he eked out, trying very hard not to break into hysterics. This was not good—Pokéballs weren't supposed to malfunction!

"It didn't vaporize," Misty said pointedly, coming out from behind Brock now that the bug was gone. "Trainers have a carry limit of six—the Pokéball just teleported to your sponsor. It's safe and far away at Professor Oak's lab."

"Oh," Ash said, still staring at his empty hand.

"Pika pi," Pikachu said, sitting on Ash's head and similarly staring.

 ** _"What he said,"_ ** Darkrai said, pointing.

"Don't worry about it," Brock said, already heading down the trail. "I've heard about the Storage System—run by this guy, Bill, outside of Cerulean. Best computer expert in Kanto—the Venonat's fine."

Ash stared after Brock as Misty followed, slowly turned to look at Darkrai, who was looking over his own shoulder with a chagrined look before shooing Ash down the trail.

 ** _"Remember what I said,"_** Darkrai said. **_"Just walk away, pretend it never happened, and don't speak of it again."_**

"So why is _that_ thing still following us?" Misty asked, looking over her shoulder as they approached.

 ** _"Now that's not very nice,"_** Darkrai said, before sliding a very pointed glance at Ash. **_"It's just a trainer."_**

"I'm pretty sure she was talking about you," Ash said.

 ** _"Nonsense! She was definitely talking about you."_**

"I was talking about _you,"_ Misty said, stopping to point in Darkrai's face. "We were doing perfectly fine until _you_ showed up."

The way Darkrai's eyes half-closed—like he was deciding whether or not Misty would be worth the entertainment factor necessary to answer her. And then very deliberately (and carefully, Ash noted) pinching Misty's finger between two of his large and decidedly dangerous and wicked-sharp claws before pulling her hand away from his face and looming up—Ash noticed the light dimmed, like a cloud had scudded across the sun.

 ** _"Don't. Test. Me,"_** Darkrai hissed. **_"The only reason you're still upright is because I currently find you mildly amusing. That can change."_**

And with that, the lighting went back to normal and Darkrai was floating around and away from a stunned Misty, humming to himself and knocking his claws together.

"And where do I fit on the amusing you spectrum?" Brock asked as Darkrai drifted past.

 ** _"You cook,"_** Darkrai declared. **_"Therefore, you have some staying value."_**

Brock looked mildly amused at the statement.

Misty, however, was giving Ash such a look—if looks _could_ kill, Ash would be dead right now.

This was not going to be fun, Ash decided. Not for a _long_ while.

* * *

Ash's first order of business upon getting to the Pokémon Center in Fuchsia City was to call Professor Oak's lab and make sure the Venonat made it there.

One of his assistants answered instead.

" _Professor Oak hasn't made it back yet from Port Vista,"_ the assistant said. _"Something about studying the effects of human habitation on a Poké-ecosystem there. But I can definitely check that for you. Ash Ketchum, right?"_

"Right," Ash said, agreeing to be put on hold.

As he waited, he heavily considered what he was going to do about the Fuchsia City gym. Ninjas and Poison—how to counter _that?_

Well, Patches definitely—Poison didn't affect Poison, and he had Dig at his disposal. Vee too, maybe, because if they could get him to learn Refresh….Probably ought to practice that before tackling the gym. After that…maybe Pikachu, because of his electric attacks. Frenzy could power through anything, definitely. Lenny due to sheer size and power, despite not having much range in attacks yet—needed to work on that. And Charmander could probably set any poison attacks on fire….

He checked his Pokédex—but Venonat learned Psychic attacks, and Psychic was strong against Poison, _and_ Venonat wouldn't be affected by Poison….

When the assistant came back to the phone, it was to find Ash with his head against the desk, nursing a headache.

 _"Are you okay?"_ the assistant asked.

"Just—decisions," Ash muttered, rubbing his face before picking up the receiver again. "Is Venonat okay?"

 _"Oh yes, the Venonat is just fine—we have it in a holding pen for observation right now awaiting a checkup. Have to deal with all the Pokémon Gary has been sending this way."_

"Gary Oak?"

 _"Yes—he's up to twenty Pokémon now. We're going to have to get him another shelf soon."_

Ash tried very hard not to be incensed at this. Quantity didn't matter, he reminded himself, quality did.

"Okay, so long as Venonat's fine," Ash said, hoping he sounded natural. "I gotta think about whether I'm swapping out for it yet, but so long as it's fine, I'm good."

 _"All right,"_ the assistant said. _"I look forward to the next Pokémon you send us."_

"Sure!" Ash said, dropping his chipper attitude as soon as he hung up. "Sure…."

* * *

"Did you know Gary has _twenty_ Pokémon already?"

 ** _"No,"_** Darkrai said simply, sunning himself—inanely, with one of those metal folding things like on the TV. And sunglasses to boot. **_"Because the daily activities of annoying children doesn't interest me."_**

"Me neither," Brock said, stirring lunch. "But he's going to tell us anyway, so you might as well suffer with the rest of us."

"And if that's the case, _why_ are you _here?"_ Misty asked, glaring up from the tourist book she had picked up in Port Vista.

"He's got twenty Pokémon and is working on his _fifth_ badge," Ash continued, pointing off the way he had come. "Meanwhile, I have seven Pokémon and _three_ badges. How am I supposed to beat him at this rate?"

"Isn't Gary the guy you beat on the _S.S. Anne?"_ Misty asked, sitting at the picnic table and flipping through the tourist book.

"One battle doesn't count—how am I going to be a Pokémon master if he's so ahead of me? I'll never live it down if he gets there first!"

"There _is_ that added joy of knocking him down once he's reached his final goal," Brock pointed out.

 ** _"This is very true,"_** Darkrai agreed.

Misty glowered at Darkrai before looking back at Ash. " _Why_ is that thing hanging around again?"

 ** _"Because he cooks?"_** Darkrai guessed, giving Brock an appraising look over his sunglasses.

"Pretty sure she's still talking about you," Brock said, adding something to the pot.

"To be fair, we're not someplace with high foot traffic," Ash pointed out—indeed, the little picnic spot was in a little glen with no view aside from woods, which was probably why it was neglected. "What's your problem with him, anyway?"

"The fact that he's a floating Gary Oak?"

 ** _"I resent that remark,"_** Darkrai said, glaring at her.

Ash waved them both off and ran on to his next big problem. "And then—and then what about Venonat? Who do I swap out? I still have to train it—and then what if the guy has Fire types? It's a ninja gym—they probably have Vulpix and Ninetails in there!"

"What do Vulpix and Ninetails have to do with ninjas?" Misty asked.

" _Naruto,"_ Brock said. Upon noting the looks he was receiving: "A couple of my younger brothers watch it."

 ** _"How many siblings do you even have?"_** Darkrai asked.

"Ash, stop panicking," Misty said, waving her hand at Brock and Darkrai in dismissal. "I'm sure you'll do fine. I mean, you beat _me_ , and with a _Magikarp_ , of all things. Now you have a Gyarados, a creepy bug, an Eevee, a Nidorino, a Charmander, and a Pikachu that knows Iron Tail and Volt Tackle. What, exactly, are you so worried about?"

"It does sound a little kooky when you put it that way," Ash agreed.

 ** _"You know, if we're going with the ninja thing, they might have Ekans for the snake guy,"_** Darkrai said, now officially sunk into a conversation with Brock.

"They _are_ Poison," Brock agreed.

 ** _"And Slugma and Gastrodon for the slug girl."_**

"Yeah, but I think they might stick with Kantoan Pokémon for official gym battles."

Ash and Misty stared for a moment.

"I was thinking," Ash said, turning to Misty.

 ** _"I thought I smelled something burning,"_** Darkrai said.

"No wait, that's me," Brock said, quickly taking the food off the fire.

"I'm thinking there's like this secret Darkrai society," Ash continued, ignoring them. "Like, Darkrai hiding as humans. And I think maybe Brock's one. What do you think?"

Misty gave him a _don't be stupid_ look before looking over at Brock and Darkrai.

The two in question were watching them before finally exchanging glances and looking each other over.

 ** _"I don't know,"_** Darkrai said. **_"Should we tell them?"_**

"Nah," Brock said, going back to fixing lunch. "Let them be in suspense for a while."

Ash pointed at them and looked at Misty.

"I'm pretty sure that's just them having fun at your expense," Misty said. "And Brock, stop encouraging it."

 ** _"We should really get you around some better influences,"_** Darkrai said, floating over to Ash with claws clasped together. **_"Seeing as how she insists on referring to you as an 'it.'"_**

"I'm pretty sure she's talking about you," Ash said.

"I am," Misty said.

 ** _"Nonsense. People the world over stand in awe at my presence,"_** Darkrai insisted, waving a clawed paw.

"Pika pika!" Pikachu called over from where he was loitering with the other Pokémon.

 ** _"No comments from the peanut gallery!"_**

"Squirtle squirt," Misty's Squirtle put in.

 ** _"Before you continue, I'll have you know you'd make a very nice Squirtle soup."_**

Squirtle gulped before ducking into his shell, leaving it spinning for a few moments before it hit the ground.

"You," Misty said, standing and pointing at Darkrai. "Stop threatening my Pokémon."

" ** _Make me,"_** Darkrai sneered.

Misty considered that before looking to her Pokémon. "Staryu, use Swift!" she commanded, jabbing a finger at Darkrai.

Staryu jumped to attention—and in the few seconds that took, Ash was aware of the fact that Darkrai was no longer in front of him; instead he was behind him with claws digging into his shoulders.

 ** _"Go ahead, shoot the hostage,"_** Darkrai ordered over Ash's shoulder.

Ash had been around Darkrai long enough to know that he was joking around—the comment was from some action show they had watched a while back—but the reaction it got from the rest of the Pokémon was immediate and volatile.

 ** _"Oop—gotta go,"_** Darkrai said, quickly abandoning him—why became clear as roughly a dozen and a half Pokémon blew by him in hot pursuit of Darkrai.

Ash blinked as the dust settled. "That was…what was that?"

"Good question," Brock said, forgoing watching the pursuant Pokémon in favor of giving Ash a look he couldn't decipher. "What _was_ that?"

"That _was_ what I asked."

"The pertinent question is _why was Darkrai using you as a shield, you ninny,"_ Misty hissed.

"Oh. He does that. He doesn't mean it."

"You—are you insane!? No wonder you don't expect your Pokémon to protect you! That is _not_ how Pokémon operate!"

"Darkrai is…a little different."

"No. _Frenzy_ is a little different," Misty said, pointing at the Paras that had not joined the others in hot pursuit; Frenzy was still sitting placidly where Ash had let him out. "That was…I don't know what that was. Murderous, maybe."

"Darkrai is _not_ murderous," Ash argued—

Which, of course, was the perfect time for some of the Pokémon to run by, chased by Darkrai—fur smoking from a few attacks—bellowing **_"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"_** at the top of his lungs.

"Much," Ash amended, after the rest of the Pokémon ran by. "And besides, if he wanted me dead, then why did he help on the _S.S. Anne_?"

Misty shivered a little at the mention of the doomed ship. "We would have figured it out ourselves— _I_ don't see how _that_ was any help."

"Well, let's see, he got me and Brock over that flaming pit and blew the hole in the ship when we needed it."

"Which we could have accomplished with Bulbasaur and some of our other Pokémon," Misty countered. "That thing is nothing but trouble."

 ** _"She knows me so well,"_** Darkrai said, suddenly floating down behind her, claws clasped under his chin. Misty yelped and practically ran over the picnic table, prompting a dark chuckle from Darkrai until Pokémon calls sounded. **_"Oop—gotta run."_**

And then he was gone again, the rest of the Pokémon chasing after him. Except for Frenzy. Frenzy stayed where he was released, somehow avoiding being trampled without moving.

"We need to talk," Ash said to the bug. "Not that I'm not grateful you listen to me, but you've really got to start having some independent thought."

Frenzy just looked at him.

"Go out and play?" Ash tried.

Frenzy blinked, looked about, didn't move. Ash had the feeling he had finally given the Paras an order he didn't understand.

"Obviously, we need to work with you," Ash declared.

"You both have issues," Misty said, hands on her hips.

"Which reminds me: Fuchsia Gym, Venonat—what do I do?"

"I'm all for any course of action that does _not_ have you with another bug in the party. Now can we deal with the task at hand?"

"Wasn't that the task at hand?"

"I mean _that!"_ Misty said, pointing. Ash turned in time to see Darkrai skid to a halt, warming up an attack to use against the rest of the Pokémon.

"I got it," Ash said, already moving and planting himself between Darkrai and the rest of the Pokémon.

The effect was immediate: all activity instantly skidded to a screeching halt.

The scolding he received on all sides was immediate too.

 _"ARE YOU CRAZY!?" _was the general response, although Darkrai punctuated his next scolding with his standard blow-to-the-head-between-words treatment.

 ** _"I-can-take-care-of-myself-you-MORON-you- don't-jump-in-front-of-attacks—"_**

"See?" Ash asked, trying to dodge the blows and shield his head. "He cares."

"I can tell," Misty said drily.

"Pika _pika!"_ Pikachu yelled, pointing at Darkrai. Darkrai ceased his pounding—which Pikachu took as the cue to shock Ash silly.

 ** _"What he said,"_** Darkrai said, pointing.

"Gyara gya," Lenny noised, leaning over with concern as Ash fell over.

 ** _"Nonsense—it proves a point."_**

"What point?" Brock asked.

 ** _"That the kid is an idiot."_**

"He is _not,"_ Misty said, before pointing at Lenny. "And whatever you said, stop it."

 ** _"Oh, he said that injuring Ash seems counterintuitive, seeing as how they were all chasing me for using him as a shield. But seeing as how you said to stop that, and seeing as how all tame Pokémon listen to trainers…thank you, that means I can get back to doing this."_**

And with that, he hauled Ash upright and returned to punctuating his scolding with konks to the head.

 ** _"You-idiot-do-you-lack-all-self-preservation-instincts—"_**

"I feel so loved," Ash said drily.


	36. Tripping on Traps

**Chapter 36, all! In which we reference eighties movies and slightly exaggerate what the ninja-gym looks like….Also give some theorization of languages in the Pokémon world—and yes, Esperanto is an artificial language created with the intent of providing a unifying language. In practice, that role seems more taken by the English language, while Esperanto is relegated to the "Interesting things to know but not exactly crucial to life" pile.**

 **11JJ11, thanks for the review! Ah, glad you like them—I have fun writing them out. :D And Frenzy and Lenny have to be my favorite of Ash's Pokémon so far. :)**

 **Luktopius, thanks for the review! Darkrai: "What? No. Whatever gave you** ** _that_** **impression?"**

 **Philly cheese dude, thanks for the reviews! Possibly. And possibly….I do too. And thank you, I'm glad you're enjoying it thus far! :D**

 **Lala32903, thanks for the review! Ah, thank you, I'm glad you like it! I shall strive to continue to please! :D**

 **Boggie445, thanks for the review! Understandable—I kind of wrote myself out of some encounters (like Krabby) and ended up having other Pokémon fill the typing slots, so….Not putting anything in stone about Johto yet (want to get through Kanto first), but Bayleef will definitely stay with Ash. :)**

 **InfernalFox, thanks for the review! Yes….**

 **InkyTheInk, thanks for the review! This is true. Hmm, you may be on to something there….**

 **MagicWarriorDragon, thanks for the review! Thank you, glad you like it! Interactions like that are always fun for me to write. :D**

 **Clow Angel, thanks for the review! Yes, well….Ah, glad you like Frenzy though (he seems to be developing into the breakaway character of this fic).**

 **Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! That's where I first heard it—looked it up after going "there was a Pokémon musical?", read through it and went "Hey, that's a cool idea…." Yes, Ash's home life is nice and normal, probably—which is probably why we never see it. Most definitely. It does depend on the person and the phobia, I'm going to say—I'm afraid of snakes. It doesn't matter if it's a harmless garden snake or not, I just run so fast I leave my shoes behind (not exaggerating). Misty probably just registers "bug" and takes off (her running and Brock catching her actually references an instance with me and my Dad—although Dad was stopping me from running into traffic). Yes—"Hi, you don't know me, but there's this trainer who would be majorly freaked out if we just dropped in; you want in on this?" :D I'm pretty sure Pikachu was saying "Boy I'm glad I don't stay in one of those." True….**

 **IceDragonGirl36, thanks for the review! No problem! ^^ Maybe…but he'll deny it.**

 **Scarlet Firesong, thanks for the review! Thank you, glad you liked it! :D Wait until we hit fifty….**

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! Yes….This is most likely true….**

 **Garm88, thanks for the review! Yes, of all of them, the Gyarados is the even-keeled one. :D**

 **Thanks for the review, Guest! I asked, and Darkrai informs me he doesn't take requests (I'm sure he sings when he's by himself, though).**

 **AveragePichu, thanks for the review! Exactly! :D**

 **LunalaMoon, thanks for the review! Thank you, I'm glad you like it! Haha, writing them arguing was fun. :D I agree, I agree, I agree. :D**

 **, thanks for the review! Glad you're enjoying it so far! :D**

 **Thanks for the review, Sakura! These are good points. Well, Darkrai isn't a bug. Shh—can't let that get out. I…have never really gotten into uber-Ash stories, so I don't think there's any danger of Ash being a super-trainer. I shall try my best and hopefully continue to please! :D**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

 **Karate Kid © 1984 John G. Avildsen**

 **Indiana Jones © 1981 George Lucas; Philip Kaufman; & Steven Spielberg**

 **The Magnificent Seven © 1960 John Sturges**

 **Sherlock Holmes © 2009 Guy Ritchie**

 **The Librarian: Quest for the Spear © 2004 Dean Devlin & Peter Winther**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **In entertainment news, _Indiana Jones and the Regis of Hoenn_ is soon to celebrate its thirtieth anniversary. In celebration, select movie theaters in sponsoring cities and towns will be screening the film. Get your tickets today so as to not miss out on this remastered version! Sponsored by Fangdango—when the sight of a Raticate is a good thing!**

The Fuchsia City Gym looked like a dojo, honestly.

"I was kind of hoping for a _Karate Kid_ look, personally," Ash opined.

"Maybe it's bigger on the inside," Brock observed.

Indeed, it backed up into a forest and was bordered on one side by a river at the bottom of a ravine, so there was hope for something more appropriately ninja-y. At least the doors slid open instead of swinging, and led into a wooden floor with creamy white walls.

"Okay," Ash said. "So far, I am _severely_ underwhelmed."

"I was expecting a bit more," Misty agreed.

Ash walked in, examined a scroll on the wall—written in Kantonese, instead of the inter-regional Esperanto:

 _Fuchsia City Gym_

 _Leader: Koga_

 _The Poisonous Ninja Master!_

"Well, that's not really all that helpful," Ash noted. "It just tells us that this is the place we're supposed to be and not some random dojo."

"Ash, what are you doing to that scroll?" Misty asked.

"Checking behind it for ninja stuff," Ash explained, pulling the scroll away from the wall and peeking behind it. Nothing. Except…hmm. Lean closer to the wall to see, put his weight on it—

And then the wall flipped open and Ash was tumbling down to the raging river below—

And then strong claws arrested his downward momentum.

 ** _"Well will you look at that,"_** Darkrai observed. " ** _You broke the gym."_**

"Just the wall," Ash pointed out.

 ** _"Still counts,"_** Darkrai stated, depositing Ash back on the floor of the hall. **_"And you,"_** he said to Misty. **_"I seem to recall you calling me a useless lump. I want an apology."_**

"I don't know, I was kind of looking forward to being Ash-less," Misty said.

"I feel so loved," Ash said.

Darkrai, meanwhile, seemed to be appealing to Brock. **_"Seriously, what's a guy got to do?"_**

"No respect at all," Brock agreed.

"So the gym is more ninja-y than it appears," Ash said. "I'm feeling better about this place already."

"You nearly died," Misty pointed out.

"Yeah, but it was only _nearly_."

"It still counts."

"Help," Ash said, turning to the others.

 ** _"You're a magnet for disaster,"_** Darkrai said flatly, arms crossed.

"I concur," Brock said.

"Pika pi," Pikachu said from the floor, having jumped clear when Ash fell.

"Gee, thanks. By the way, I noticed you jumped ship when you saw it going down," Ash said to Pikachu.

"Pika- _bleh_ ," Pikachu noised, shivering.

"Oh right—ix-nay on oat-bays."

 ** _"Well, seeing as you lot aren't doing anything interesting, I'm going to leave now,"_** Darkrai said, drifting out the open wall.

"But what if there's more traps?" Ash called after him. "Think of all the _Indiana Jones_ references!"

 ** _"Tempting….Call me when there's actual progress with this place."_**

Ash blew out his mouth irritably before turning to face the hall. "All right then! Cue the _Indiana Jones_ theme!"

* * *

Five minutes later had seen a lot of walking, but no action.

"So it is bigger-looking on the inside," Misty observed. "We should have hit a turn by now."

"Maybe I should try the walls again," Ash suggested.

"Please don't. And you," she added, looking to Brock. "Stop humming."

"I'm just providing theme music," Brock said.

"Yeah, but I'm starting to get tired of the Raider's March."

"You actually know what the _Indiana Jones_ theme is called?" Ash asked.

"I _do_ live on earth, you realize."

"I can take requests," Brock said.

"The theme from _The Magnificent Seven_."

"That would work," Ash agreed. "It's based on a samurai movie, so it still fits."

"I'm not sure if I could hum that," Brock mused, finger to his mouth. "It's the sort of theme that needs lots of _hyah_ s and _hah_ s and _nah_ s to it."

"Then don't," Misty said. "I get the feeling that'd be more annoying than it's worth."

"I thought so."

Ash rolled his eyes, turned—

Caught a glimpse of a thin line on the wall, matching up with one of the sparse windows letting in light.

"Ah," Ash noised, excited. "A trap!"

"Oh great," Misty moaned. "Where?"

"Right here—give me my hat, Pikachu," Ash ordered, shooing Pikachu off his head. That done, he took his hat off. "I saw Indy do this once."

And with that, he waved his hat in the sunlight.

Spikes shot out of the wall ahead, much to Misty's alarm—and Brock's too, from the sound of it.

"How much you wanna bet the walls on the other side are the same sort of trick walls?" Ash asked.

"What is it with this gym?" Misty asked. "Do they _want_ to kill the challengers?"

"I'm sure there's something about _trainers need to have lightning-fast reflexes_ in the reasoning here," Brock said, depositing Misty back onto the floor. "Saying that, nice spot, Ash."

"Thank you, thank you," Ash said, bowing. "I'll be here all week."

"We _will_ be here all week at the rate we're going," Misty said. "I don't see this hall ending at all."

"Maybe we could cheat—Onix is immune to poison, right? We could have him knock down some walls."

"I'm putting that under _fastest way to meet Officer Jenny under bad circumstances,_ " Brock said. "So no."

Ash made a pensive noise, thinking.

"Ah," he noised suddenly, crossing over to the wall opposite the spikes and striking his fist against it. As expected, it fell away.

Darkrai was floating there moments later.

 ** _"You're defacing private property again,"_** Darkrai pointed out, wagging a claw.

"Only a little," Ash said. "I don't suppose you could see if there's any halls or anything leading off from this one, could you?"

 ** _"I don't suppose I could."_**

"Is that a yes?"

Darkai sighed. **_"I'll be back."_**

And with that, he was gone.

"See?" Ash pointed out to Misty. "Darkrai's useful."

"Uh huh," Misty noised. "Just so you know, when we finally _do_ meet Koga, you won't be able to battle him—I'll be sending him packing for this."

"It's two trick walls and a spike trap."

"The first of which could have killed you. And _that_ thing is lethal," Misty added, pointing at the spike wall, which Brock was now examining.

"Hey, guys," Brock noised. "There's something behind here."

"What kind of something?" Ash asked.

"Like another room kind of something."

"Maybe it's a gas chamber waiting for us to enter, and then it fills with poison gas."

"Morbid much?" Misty asked.

"Are you saying we should try it?"

"Oh, _Heliolisk_ no—I'm just pointing out that you're a little more morbid than the average ten-year-old."

 ** _"My bad,"_** Darkrai said, dropping back down. **_"And I wouldn't recommend that room behind there, seeing as how I heard Koffing lurking in there. But—there is a side hall down a few sections from here. And hidden by paneling, from the looks of it,"_** Darkrai added, glancing down the hall.

"That sounds promising," Ash said. "Let's check it out."

* * *

A few minutes later, and they were still standing in front of the panel.

 ** _"So let's see if I understand your definition of 'let's check it out' correctly,"_** Darkrai said, floating next to them with his arms crossed. **_"We're translating a statement that implies action as 'let's stand here and stare at a panel for a few hours.'"_**

"It's only been a few minutes," Ash pointed out.

 ** _"You're killing me here."_**

"Let's wait a bit more," Misty muttered to Brock. "See if that's a real thing."

 ** _"Oi…you're not getting anywhere like this—it'd be better just to get the Band-Aids out and do it instead of waiting around and working yourself up. Besides, this is boring to watch."_**

"There _could_ be a lot of nasty traps behind that panel," Brock pointed out.

 ** _"This is true—send the yutz in first."_**

"Let's not," Ash said, inhaling for better projection on his next comment. "Hey! If anyone's behind there, we're about to blast our way through!"

 ** _"We're back to destruction of property, I see."_**

"It would trigger any traps," Brock pointed out. "And hopefully break any invisible strings that would potentially slice us into bits."

"Do what?" Misty asked, appalled.

"It was in the new _Sherlock Holmes_ movie."

"That was an awesome one," Ash said, before grabbing a Pokéball off his belt. "All right then—go, Vee!"

Vee appeared in a flash of light and had assumed a battle stance before realizing there was nothing to fight. The Eevee looked at Ash in consternation.

"Use Swift on that wall," Ash ordered, pointing.

Vee looked at the wall before looking back at Ash, ears flat, and chittered something. Ash looked at Darkrai for a translation.

" ** _He wants to know why he's fighting a wall,"_** Darkrai translated.

"Because we have to fight the wall to get to the gym leader," Ash translated.

Vee made a sort of _aah_ noise before turning back to the wall, assuming a battle stance, and inhaling deeply before spitting out a barrage of shining stars, which ripped the panel to bits.

There was a hall hidden behind the panel. A very empty hall.

"Okay…trap senses tingling," Ash said, looking at the hall. "Vee, shoot Swift down that hall."

Vee did so. And as the stars whistled down the hall to impact on the far wall, axes swung down, darts flew out, and spikes descended from the ceiling. And then did it again, and again, and again, in a set pattern.

"I wonder how many people _actually_ get the Soul Badge," Brock mused, watching the setup.

"Good question," Ash said, seriously rethinking his actions right about now. "There wasn't another way to go, was there?" he asked Darkrai.

" ** _Out the door,"_** Darkrai suggested. **_"Oh, and then there was that fun hall that sounded full of Voltorb chatting with each other. I'm sure that's loads of fun."_**

"Oi vey," Ash sighed.

 ** _"Agreed."_**

"Is it just me, or does it sound like there's a pattern to this?" Misty asked, holding up a finger. They waited, listening… _whoom wiff wham whoom wiff wham…one two three one two three…._

 ** _"It's a waltz,"_** Darkrai said finally. **_"The pattern's the same."_**

They stared at him. **_"What?"_** Darkrai asked.

"How do _you_ know about a waltz?" Misty asked.

 ** _"What? I'll have you know I'm very cultured."_**

Misty exchanged a slow glance with Brock.

"Um, moving on," Ash said. "So…what, we waltz across the hall?"

 ** _"If you feel like dancing with death, sure,"_** Darkrai said.

"Are any of the other routes shorter or less fraught with danger?"

 ** _"Probably. Not."_**

"All righty then. Quick—how do we waltz?"

Darkrai sighed, then affected a dancing pose and extended his thin legs down to touch the floor. One two three one two three—Darkrai quickly skated across the hall, Ash right behind him, Pikachu with his tail tucked tight against him and Vee safely back in his Pokéball. _Woosh wiff wham woosh wiff wham_ —so close it ruffled his hair, but within moments they were safe on the other side, quickly checking themselves over before turning to watch Misty and Brock dance through the hall.

"Any casualties?" Ash had to ask once they made it.

"I'm fine," Misty said, patting herself down. She was shaking, Ash noticed—something he could relate to. "What about you, Brock?"

"I made it through okay," Brock said, straightening and looking over his shoulder. "I don't think my backpack did though."

They looked—Brock's backpack was riddled with darts.

"And it served us so well, too," Misty said.

"All those good meals," Ash agreed, taking his hat off and putting it over his heart.

 ** _"So ends Brock's backpack,"_** Darkrai said, claws clasped together. " ** _May it rest in pieces."_**

"Pika," Pikachu said somberly.

"It's not _that_ bad," Brock said, unshouldering his backpack.

"It seems to be bleeding," Misty pointed out.

"So it does. I think a few potions got punctured back there."

"Uh huh. Let's not do that again."

"Let's not."

"Well, then," Ash said, releasing Vee. "That means the only way left to go is forward."

 ** _"Then I think I'll take my leave now,"_** Darkrai said, giving them a little finger wave.

"And where do you think _you're_ going?" Misty asked.

In response, Darkrai held up a claw and moved his thin feet closer together.

And with that, he sank through his own shadow and was gone.

"Cheater," Misty opined.

 ** _"Ha ha,"_** Darkrai's voice echoed back.

"Okay, moving on," Ash declared. "Vee! Blast that wall to bits!"

Vee, inhaled, fired—


	37. A Poisonous Round

**Chapter 37, everybody, and happy Thanksgiving eve! Yes, I'm back—miss me?**

 **Sorry for the long delay, but real life demanded my time and took priority, so…important things.**

 **11JJ11, thanks for the review! Ah thank you, I'm glad you like him! Me too….Yes, yes we do. :)**

 **MagicWarriorDragon, thanks for the review! Thank you, glad you like it—I will strive to continue to please! :D**

 **Rachel weck 5, thanks for the review! Glad I got a laugh, too. :D**

 **Arkisane, thanks for the review! Eh, the long wait probably didn't help….**

 **PokeshipHeart, thanks for the review! Glad you liked it! :D**

 **Lala32903, thanks for the review! And glad you like my writing style! :D**

 **IceDragonGirl36, thanks for the review! Elsewhere….And I have no idea (I have actually never watched that show, so…).**

 **Boggie445, thank you for the review and the enthusiasm!**

 **InkyTheInk, thanks for the review! Eh….**

 **Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! This is true….Well, butterflies aren't as obviously dangerous as bugs with pincers or stingers….True…and also true. And yes, treat the Legendary with more respect.**

 **Scribe0magic, thanks for the review! I see.**

 **Scarlet Firesong, thanks for the review! YES! And yes. :D**

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! Glad you liked it—and the Indiana Jones references. :D This is true….**

 **InfernalFox, thanks for the review! Maybe.**

 **Albertasteinthe21stgenius, thanks for the review! :D**

 **JuptileNamudori253, thanks for the review! Haha, Esperanto's on my list of languages I want to learn, partially because of its history—the ease of learning may come from the fact that Esperanto is an artificial language.** **Dankon, plaĉe vi ŝatis, kaj mi esperas daŭrigi plaĉi! And if that came out wrong, blame Google Translate. :P**

 **Sakura, thanks for the reviews! I…have no idea….Eh, I view Darkrai as having a mostly solid body with the flowing bits as distractions, so…if that's the case, then yes, Darkrai, you cheater (but he keeps the cool look, we must admit). This is also true. Ah thank you. :D You should bother to watch them—they're very good (and older than me too, so that's no excuse ). Have fun with that!**

 **Animal lover13, thanks for the review! Hopefully this update pleases!**

 **Blitza, thanks for the review! Ooh, hope you feel better.**

 **Girrr, thank you for your enthusiasm in reviewing. However, I have to tell you that I do NOT appreciate the language you used in just about all your reviews, and I've reported every review that uses that word. Kindly edit your language or I will be forced to block you.**

 **LuminousMoonRay, thanks for the review! AAA! YOU'RE RIGHT! Legit forgot about that, but don't worry, Brock has it safely tucked away behind the potions, antidotes, and about thirty T-shirts. *phew***

 **Ardtornismyname, thanks for the review! I admit, figuring out how I want to go about that fight is very entertaining….**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

 **Robots © 2005 Blue Sky Studios**

 **Naruto © 1997 Masashi Kishimoto**

 **Hercules © 1997 Disney**

 **And since so many people wanted it: how to contact Officer Jenny. :)**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **The Regional Police Corps would like to remind you that the fastest way to contact us is to dial 911 on your wireless communicator (i.e., Holocaster, Pokédex, Pokénav, etc.). Please stop dialing 867-5309. That will not connect you to an Officer Jenny.**

When the smoke cleared, they found themselves in a large clean room with high ceilings, a wooden floor, natural lighting, and two people playing go next to a battlefield in the center, both of which were staring at them.

"You could have used the tassel next to the door, you know," the guy said.

They looked to the side, where indeed a red tassel was hanging.

"It probably triggered a pitfall trap," Misty pointed out.

"Yeah," Ash said, before raising his voice to be heard across the way. "My name is Ash Ketchum, and I'm here for a gym battle!"

Misty elbowed him aside. "And I'm Misty Waterflower, and by the time I'm through with _you_ , you'll be lucky if you're still _living_ for that gym battle!"

"I think Misty took offense to being almost killed," Ash said to Brock.

"And you didn't?" Brock asked. "And you owe me a new backpack and some items, too!" Brock called over.

"Wanna go get the paperwork for that?" the guy asked the girl.

"Yeah," she said, tapping a Venonat on the head. "Make sure he doesn't move anything while I'm gone."

And with that, she was gone in a poof of smoke, ninja-style. The Venonat puffed up, antennae erect, and glared at the guy.

"That was _once,"_ the guy protested. "And it was an accident."

"Veno- _nat_ ," the Venonat declared.

"Don't give me that."

Ash exchanged glances with Misty and Brock, who shrugged. Undaunted, he strode forward—

And smacked off of nothing.

"Ow," he muttered, rubbing his nose.

"One more thing," the guy called. "If you want to get to the battlefield to actually _have_ the battle, you have to make it through the glass maze. And no breaking the glass—it's expensive."

So much for plan A then.

"All right then," Ash said, putting his hands on the glass and edging sideways. "I guess we'd better get started then."

* * *

The lady had come back with the papers and had resumed the game by the time they made it through the maze, with much bumping and banging of noses and fingers. It had gone a little better when they noticed the little white dots on the floor that indicated where the glass panels met each other, but not by much.

"Okay," the guy said, when they finally reached the center. "My name is Koga, and I'm the leader of this gym—"

"Oh great," Misty said, hand already diving into her bag. "So it's you I'll be beating the living daylights out of then."

"Go, Scyther!" Koga said quickly, summoning a big green bug with huge scythes for arms—

And then both of them got beaned on the head with rubber mallets and went down for the count.

"Wow," Ash noised, blinking. "Nice arm."

"The power of the Misty-Mallet," Brock said, sounding amused.

"I am. Sick. To. _Death,"_ Misty hissed. "Of death traps, ninjas, and _bugs_."

"I see," Ash said, before projecting across the field. "Does this mean I have to wait until he wakes up to have the gym battle?"

"Nah," the lady said, standing and dusting herself off. "I'm Janine, I'm Koga's daughter, and I'm co-leader of this gym. Dad's training me to take over for when he retires," she clarified upon noting their blank stares.

"So I can battle you instead?" Ash asked. "And it still counts?"

"Yes indeed—so you want to battle?"

"Question," Brock said, one hand raised. "When you're the gym leader, will there be as many traps?"

"Nah—Dad throws them in because he's watched too many movies, but he hasn't actually traded any out, so it's gotten to be too much."

"Right," Ash said. "So back to battling—"

"Okay, so we need a referee," Janine said, looking around.

"Me," Brock volunteered, already heading for the referee box. "I'm the gym leader from Pewter, so I qualify."

"All right," Janine said, eyeing him. "No playing favorites."

"I'll have you know I already called one of Ash's matches, and I called it fairly too."

"Brock would be more inclined to call in your favor anyway," Ash pointed out. "Something about pretty women."

"I should have never have told you," Brock sighed, shaking his head as he crossed his arms. "I should have known you weren't ready."

"Ready for what?"

"A gym battle soon, I hope," Misty said.

"Yeah, that," Janine said. "Three-on-three sound good to you?"

"Yeah," Ash said, nodding.

"Great. Gym leader can't make substitutions, general same-as-other-gyms, battle is over when all three on one team are knocked out. Ready?"

"Ready!"

"Ready," Brock said, waving two fingers.

"All right then," Janine said, waving her Venonat forward. "Go, Venonat!"

Ash smirked, feeling he had the perfect counter.

"Go, Charmander!" he ordered, flinging Charmander's Pokéball out—the little fire-lizard appeared on the field.

"Okay—long range fire attacks," Ash told Charmander. "Don't let it get close and poison you—you see any poison dust, you flame it, okay?"

"Char char!" Charmander said, nodding affirmative.

"Right—open with Ember!"

"Supersonic!" Janine ordered.

Ash didn't even have to give the order—Charmander remembered his fight with Lt. Surge's Magnemite, and quickly stuffed his claws in his ears.

"Confusion while it can't hear orders," Janine said. Venonat's antennae stood to attention and started glowing.

Charmander, fortunately, was smart enough not to stand still upon seeing an attack warming up—he took off, dodging on a tangent before skidding to a halt and shooting Ember at Venonat.

"Protect!" Janine ordered quickly. Venonat tucked into a tighter ball and glowed, Ember dissipating harmlessly off of it.

Ash scowled, but quickly moved on. "Keep using Ember! Protect will fail eventually!"

Charmander barked his understanding and kept firing, pausing only to inhale.

"Okay, time to get out of dodge," Janine said. "Venonat! Substitute!"

Venonat glowed brighter before rolling away, leaving a glowing afterimage to be burnt up by Charmander's fire.

"Switch targets, quick!" Ash ordered.

Charmander spun, sucking in a deep breath—

Before shooting out a much stronger burst of flame—Flamethrower.

"Nice," Ash noised, pleasantly surprised at the new move.

 _"Ven!"_

Ash started as Venonat dodged around the flame, charging straight for Charmander.

"Now, Venonat!" Janine ordered. "Double Edge!"

Venonat slammed into Charmander, sending them both rolling and tumbling into a gasping heap.

"Charmander, quick!" Ash called. "It's running out of energy—use Ember!"

"Disable, Venonat," Janine said.

Venonat rolled to its feet, antennae straight and glowing again. Charmander coughed out a puff of smoke.

Ash shrugged.

"Use Flamethrower, then."

Charmander nodded once, inhaled deeply—

"Protect!" Janine ordered.

"Aim for the floor beneath it!"

Charmander adjusted his aim, Flamethrower hitting the ground right in front of the glowing Venonat and fanning around it.

"Keep at it, Charmander!" Ash ordered.

Janine waved, redirecting his attention. "Not that this isn't interesting, but…what, exactly, are you doing?"

"Wait for it," Ash said, one finger up.

And then what he had been hoping for happened: the floor got too hot for Venonat to handle. And when it tried to jump out of the way—poof.

Janine sighed as Brock called it; she returned Venonat without complaint.

"All right then, see how you handle _this!"_ she yelled, throwing her next Pokémon out.

A huge snake with a scary hood appeared, hissing menacingly. Charmander yipped in alarm and ran over to hide behind Ash.

"That's an Arbok," Ash said. "Don't worry, that's just Intimidate—you can show it what you're made of, right?"

"Char char char," Charmander said.

"Afraidium doesn't count."

"So there's the snake motif, at least," Brock observed as Charmander returned to the field.

"Do me a favor," Janine said. "When my dad wakes up, don't say anything about _Naruto_ —you'd never get him to shut up if you do."

"Fair enough. Round two, begin!"

"Fire at will, Charmander!" Ash ordered.

Charmander looked at him blankly.

"That means set the Arbok on fire," Ash clarified.

"Char," Charmander said, nodding—

Before squawking in alarm at being caught in an Arbok's Wrap.

"Hey!" Ash yelped. "Talking is a free action!"

"Nope—sorry, kid!" Janine called over. "And you can kiss your fire-moves goodbye—they require your Charmander to be able to breathe in, which I guarantee you he can't do right now."

Ash made a snap decision and returned Charmander.

"Okay then, next up," Ash muttered, flinging another Pokéball out. "Go, Patches! Use Horn Attack!"

Patches hit the ground running, aiming right for Arbok.

"Glare, Arbok!" Janine ordered.

Arbok did so, sending Patches skidding to a halt, quaking.

"Now! Iron Tail!" Janine commanded.

"Dodge it!" Ash called—no good—Patches was paralyzed—

 _Bam_ —Patches went flying, skidding across the field and tumbling along.

"Come on, Patches! You can do it!" Ash cheered as Patches struggled upright. "Don't let that thing get to you—"

A lightbulb went off in Ash's head.

"Let it get to you!" Ash ordered.

Patches gave him a dumbfounded look—

And again, Arbok Wrapped him up.

"I can't believe you made the same mistake twice," Janine said, shaking her head.

"Better get used to seeing trainers make dumb mistakes," Misty called over; Ash glanced back at her to see her sitting against one of the glass walls, behind Brock.

Ash waggled his head, acknowledging the irony, before going on with his plan.

"Hey, Patches!" Ash called. "Remember that move we were practicing at Port Vista? Use it!"

The week they had spent at Port Vista had not been spent solely getting R and R—there had been training involved, mostly in a little glen farther down the beach than people were willing to walk. Toss in beach access, and there was plenty of ability to train to their hearts content. And with Darkrai assisting as well, since they were out of sight.

And Darkrai knew of all sorts of high-damage moves, particularly the ones known as one-hit KO moves.

 ** _"Absolutely terrible accuracy,"_** Darkrai had explained, one claw up in a professor-pose. **_"But highly damaging when they do hit. If the Pokémon are of similar strength, a hit from one of these attacks would knock them out. Hit a weaker Pokémon with it, and you have pureed Pokémon. But again, terrible accuracy, so I don't recommend using them unless you're in a position you can't possibly miss. And if you do miss in that situation, I'm going to bonk you on the head."_**

Ash didn't think they'd miss at this distance.

Which was why he wasn't entirely surprised when Patches' horn started spinning and he twisted his head to slam it into the nearest coil of Arbok.

The effect was immediate—seize up as the shockwave hit, then hit the ground in a loose heap as Horn Drill took effect. Arbok was down for the count. And not pureed, so Ash was certain they were about the same level.

"Arbok is unable to battle," Brock said, sounding surprised. "Ash wins that one."

"Okay then," Janine said, returning Arbok before tossing out another Pokéball. "Last one! Go, Nidorina!"

Ash blinked as a blue Patches appeared on the field.

"That is…okay, Patches, use…hold on," Ash noised, tapping his foot against the battlefield. "All right. Patches, use Dig!"

Patches dove into the ground, burrowed around—

"Double Kick when it comes up," Janine ordered.

Nidorina hopped nimbly aside and delivered two footprints to Patches' face when he popped up.

"Now, Nidorina!" Janine called. "Use Attract!"

"Use _what?"_ Ash noised.

What Attract was and what it did became clear when Nidorina assumed an odd pose and batted its eyes at Patches, who suddenly went…wonky. Wonky was the word for it.

Brock waved at Ash before pointing at Patches. "That thing, with girls, that I was trying to explain to you earlier?" Brock asked. "This is it."

"Attract affects all Pokémon of the opposite gender," Janine called over. "And makes it so they can't attack. If you have a genderless Pokémon or a female Pokémon, I suggest you use it."

Ash paused, thinking, before quickly ticking everyone off on his fingers. Lenny, Vee, Pikachu, Patches, Charmander, Frenzy—

They were all male.

Oh boy.

"Patches, return!" Ash ordered, holding the Pokéball out. Oh great, now what? Plan—he needed a plan—someone who wasn't affected by, as Darkrai styled it, a pair of pretty blue eyes—

Hold it.

"Go, Frenzy!" Ash called, flinging out Frenzy's Pokéball. The Paras appeared on the field, blinking at his opponent.

"Attract, Nidorina!" Janine called.

Nidorina did the same thing to Frenzy that she did with Patches. Ash allowed it.

Ash was also smirking when he gave his order. "Frenzy? _Get that Nidorina."_

Frenzy ramped up to his hind legs, shrieking wildly before charging the stunned Nidorina—again, Ash was surprised he didn't hear a buzzsaw effect.

"Woah! Woah! Stop! Nidorina, _return!"_ Janine ordered finally, holding her Pokéball out. Nidorina disappeared in a flash of red light, leaving Frenzy scuttling around in a circle searching for it.

"Come here, Frenzy," Ash called, pointing to a spot by his feet. Frenzy did so.

"What. On earth. Was _that_ ," Janine asked flatly.

"This is Frenzy. Apparently that's normal for him."

"Ahem," Brock noised, redirecting their attention. "Since Janine returned Nidorina, that means Ash wins the battle."

"Fair enough," Janine said, shrugging before crossing the battlefield. Ash did so as well to meet her halfway. "Okay, since you won, that means you get the Soul Badge," she said, fishing in her pockets. "Oh wait, I was supposed to be making this big awesome speech on how you were so cool beating the gym, or something like that…."

"We could pretend you did," Ash offered.

"Great. If Dad wakes up in the next five minutes, that's what you tell him."

"Right."


	38. Discussions and Directions

**Chapter 38, friends! Although I think this qualifies more as a Christmas miracle—yes, I'm back with an update, and will be updating all my active stories this week so we end the year on a high note. Can't guarantee regular updates for the next month or so, but I'll be doing my best to focus on these so we can entertain regular updates once again. :D**

 **Maidengarnet, thanks for the review! Glad you like him—Frenzy seems to be shaping up into a fan-favorite. :D**

 **11JJ11, thanks for the review! Yes, Frenzy has returned! :D I will do my best to meet this demand. Yes, the Paras that has Oblivious as an ability….**

 **HanKanoya, thanks for the review! Yes, nothing can stop Frenzy the juggernaut! :-D**

 **Arkisane, thanks for the review! Yep—it's actually a real number, but disabled in most area codes for the obvious reason.**

 **Dragonkeeper10, thanks for the review! Yes….**

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! Glad you liked the battle!**

 **IceDragonGirl36, thanks for the review! I'll put that on my to-do list then. :)**

 **Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! Thank you, glad you liked it! Koga might be an actual ninja, but that doesn't mean he can't be a movie/TV buff too. I don't know, I just remember bits and pieces of the Koga gym in the anime (hadn't really gotten around to rewatching it for the fic) and I remembered that there was a woman there—Janine shows up by dint of me looking up the gym and seeing her in the information. Maybe there were different teams at work on the games and anime? I don't know. Of course—it's the Pokémon world, they have insurance. I've heard that—and apparently they might be doing the Shamouti Islands again, or something with the Johto legends….**

 **MagicWarriorDragon, thanks for the review! I do too…glad you like him!**

 **InfernalFox, thanks for the review! Glad I could make you laugh. :D**

 **Scarlet Firesong, thanks for the review! Yes…and Paras is part Bug, so Frenzy could definitely send Darkrai running for the hills.**

 **Albertasteinthe21stgenius, thanks for the review! The best Paras….**

 **AveragePichu, thanks for the review! Fair point…and while I don't remember much of that episode, Ash nearly falling to his doom in a rushing river below was not an exaggeration. Aside from that and the Voltorb, some of the traps are in reference to** ** _Indiana Jones_** **and** ** _The Librarian_** **, so….**

 **Blitza, thanks for the review! There seems to be a lot of love for Frenzy the super-Paras. :D**

 **Mystery-guest-45, thanks for the review! Frenzy is the best 'mon to have in reserve….Thank you, I'm glad you like them! I always have some hesitation in writing battles, so I'm glad they're coming across all right. Thank you, you make me blush—I shall strive to continue to please! :D**

 **JuptileNamudori253, thanks for the review! Yes! Those three don't need a special chapter to do that, but stay tuned for when Lavender Town comes up. :)** ** _Konsentis_** **. :)**

 **Duskrider, thanks for the review! Thank you, I'm glad you're liking it so far, and the characterization besides. :D**

 **Thanks for the review, guest! Glad you like the chapter! :D**

 **Yoshistar11, thanks for the review! Thank you, I'm glad you like it! Yes, it gives some variety in the writing and prompts more planning and originality, I think. Haha, I already have chunks of Sabrina and Erika's encounters with Ash, and a general idea of Blaine, so this should be fun. Yes…good question—we shall see. As for Vee—staying as an Eevee for now, since any ideas for which evolution he goes with are tentative at best. But we'll see. :)**

 **Gabagool, thanks for the review! I'm glad you're enjoying the story thus far! Straight man/wise guy is one of my favorite dynamics, so I'm glad I'm writing it in an enjoyable fashion. Ah thank you—I learned that to-the-point descriptions are the best for scriptwriting, but it's always a point of worry for me about how much description to write. Thank you—I'm mostly working on vague memories of the characters and various filtrations in fanfiction before putting my own spin on it. And I'm glad you liked the Clefable cliffhanger. :D Thank you very much, and I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **LuminousMoonRay, thanks for the review! Yes! And now, a moment of silence for Brock's shirts…he needs to get more in Celadon, I think. Ah, thank you, I'm glad you like Frenzy! I apparently need to make a fan club for him…oh I bet. :D Thank you, glad you loved it!**

 **Thanks for the reviews, Bensen! Glad you like Frenzy—he seems to be quite the popular character. Also glad you like the characterization—that's one of the points I always fuss over, so I'm glad it's coming across all right. :D I'm glad you like Lt. Surge and Volt, too, although I have to credit Dragonsrule18 for first writing a version of them that was actually enjoyable. Trust me when I say that their lessons will have lasting effects on our heroes….And thank you! You make me blush. ^^**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

 **Star Wars © George Lucas**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **In other news, Kyogre has gone back to its resting place in an undisclosed location in the Hoenn Sea. Reports indicate that a pair of trainers were instrumental in returning it to its slumbering state. Any attempts to gain more information has been stymied by Chief Inspector Neelson Klendaniel, who has been arresting reporters on grounds of being annoying. Officer Art Klendaniel is reported to have said that this is a common reason for arrest. Officer Klendaniel is currently in the next cell over from the reporters.**

Koga did wake up in the next five minutes, and they were all _very_ effusive with their assurances that Janine had done a bang-up job, despite losing.

"I keep telling you: Double-Edge isn't the best move to be using," Koga told her. "You don't want to do your opponent's work for them."

"Maybe we should work on Zen Headbutt more," Janine said to her Venonat, which chirruped in response.

"Hey, I just caught one not too long ago—a Venonat," Ash said, pointing. "I don't suppose you have any pointers for raising one, do you?"

"Oh please no more bugs," Misty muttered under her breath.

"After seeing your Pokémon battle, I'd say just keep doing whatever it is you're doing," Janine told him. "Although I'd get that Paras looked at—that's just not normal."

"Yeah, well…that's how Frenzy's always been," Ash said, shrugging.

"What Paras?" Koga asked. "Can I see?"

Ash released Frenzy—and then, after prompting, released the rest of his Pokémon as well.

"I'm fairly good at determining the condition of Poison and Bug types," Koga said, kneeling next to Patches and gently shaking his paw. "But these guys look good. Well groomed, healthy pelts…definitely a good diet."

"That would be my doing," Brock said, leaning over.

"Good boy. Probably ought to teach that one how too, unless you intend to follow him for the rest of your life."

"Honestly, one more sibling wouldn't make much of a difference."

Having met Brock's cloud of siblings, Ash could understand how he'd probably not pay much mind to one more joining the fray. Ash wondered what his mom would think of that.

"Now, the Paras," Koga said, looking at Frenzy. Snap his fingers in front of him, check his mushrooms…no reaction.

"Is he always like this?" Koga asked Ash.

"Pretty much," Ash said. "Except when he's in a battle."

"Uh-huh. Demonstrate, please."

"You might want to stand back."

Koga did so, raised his eyebrows at Ash's other Pokémon, who—upon hearing that Frenzy was going to be in a battle—scattered to hide behind their trainer. Ash figured it was probably an exceptionally odd sight, considering one of them was a Gyarados.

"Okay, Frenzy," Ash said, addressing the Paras and pointing. "Attack that straw dummy over there."

Ash was getting used to Frenzy's wild war cry and stance, and managed not to flinch as he charged the straw dummy and tore it into little tiny pieces. And then tore the little tiny pieces into tinier pieces.

"Frenzy, that's enough," Ash called over.

Frenzy immediately left the sawdust and returned to Ash's side, where he sat placidly.

"That's not normal," Koga said finally, once he had recovered.

"See, that's what _I_ said," Misty said.

"I talked to a couple of other people who thought it was," Ash said.

"Like who?" Koga asked.

"Nurse Joy in Cerulean and a friend of mine who's a Pokémon expert."

"I don't know about your friend, but I'm pretty sure Nurse Joy should have noticed _something_."

"I don't think she was focused on the behavioral issue."

"Right. I'm torn between suggesting training that out of it or asking for a trade or a breeding."

"I think I'd rather Frenzy stay with me, thanks."

"I still want that in my roster. The Soul Badge would be the new Earth Badge."

"That's not a good thing, Dad," Janine said.

"This is true," Brock said, before giving Ash an appraising look. "I know Misty and I have been saying not to focus too far ahead, but you're probably going to have to find a different alternative to the Earth Badge. Giovanni is rarely in the gym, and when people _do_ challenge him, they never beat him."

"Doesn't he train all Ground types?" Ash asked.

"And a few Normal types," Koga said. "I battled him when we were younger. Let me tell you though, he's trained the type weakness right out of those Pokémon—if you _do_ ever have the misfortune to face him, forget typing. Just hit him with the hardest moves you can, as _fast_ as you can, and _maybe_ you'll last through _one_ Pokémon."

Ash felt a chill go up his spine. Wow.

"And Red Satoshi was the only one who beat him," Ash said slowly, resisting the urge to check the room.

"Yes," Koga said, nodding. "Although saying that, it really ought to make Red's case no surprise."

"Yeah, well, on to lighter topics," Janine said, waving them off. "So which gym you off to next? You said this is your fourth badge—you haven't challenged Erika or Sabrina yet?"

"We were kind of blown off course," Ash said.

"Bummer. Well, either one is pretty equidistant from here—or you could try to find Blaine on Cinnabar, but he's a kicker. There's a reason he's the one people generally challenge _last_."

"I thought Giovanni was last."

"Only because no one can find him."

"You…might have a hard time just _finding_ Blaine," Koga said, scratching his neck. "I heard he had a bit of an episode and is in hiding at the moment."

"In hiding?" Ash echoed.

"I heard that rumor," Brock said.

"It's true," Koga confirmed. "I tried visiting him because we had discussed me getting a Slugma from his Macargo—took me most of the week to find him, and when I did, he said he was going to have to find a better place to hide."

"Okay, I'm going to ask the question," Misty said. _"Why_ is one of the gym leaders in hiding?"

"Cinnabar is technically Kanto's quarantine island," Koga explained. "Holdover from the war. Tourists are shuttled either there or the Seafoam Islands, traditionally, although the Seafoam Islands are off-limits now after being declared a nature preserve. So Blaine had a ton of tourists constantly challenging him for battles to while away their layovers and he just…well, snapped. Burned down his own gym, ran off, and is now only occasionally seen."

"So the Fire specialist went postal," Misty said to Brock.

"It happens to the best of them," Brock said.

"True," Koga said. "A moment of silence." A moment. "Well—if you do decide to challenge him after getting your other two badges, I'd recommend looking in the lava tubes around the volcano. It's a verifiable maze in there, and you'd run the serious risk of getting lost, but that's my bet as to Blaine's new hiding place."

"Unless he decides to come back out," Ash said.

"It doesn't hurt to think optimistically, but I doubt it. You can take the bridge up to Celadon or the waterways over to Saffron—whichever you feel like facing at the moment. Although considering your team, I'd tackle Erika first."

"I'm all for that," Ash said, nodding. "I still need a strategy to beat Sabrina anyway."

"Bugs or Ghosts. From the sounds of it, you have _two_ bugs—why you're not using both, I don't know—"

"Me," Misty said, raising her hand as Ash, Pikachu, and Brock pointed at her.

"And if you don't believe everything you hear, you could pick up a Ghost at Lavender Town. You know, if you don't scare too easily."

"A-hem," Janine coughed. "Safari Zone-cough."

"Oh, right! I'm supposed to be advertising the Safari Zone that opened up," Koga told them. "Although I'm all for letting the population they're protecting build up some more."

"Dad, they've been building up for ten years," Janine said. "They're wanting you to send trainers over to help with the population problem."

"Oh, right."

"What kind of Pokémon?" Ash asked, interest piqued.

"Oh, _plenty_ of Poison and Bug types—"

"Ick," Misty said, shuddering.

"Some Rhyhorn and Chansey and Kangaskhan as well…Tauros and Slowpoke…and if you're _really_ lucky, a Dratini or two."

Ash perked up instantly at _Dratini_.

"That's what everyone does when they hear there's a Dratini nest in there," Koga said, spotting his reaction. "You have as much chance of catching a Dratini as you do of finding and beating Giovanni."

"It's worth a shot," Ash said, checking his watch. "Where is it from the Pokémon Center? We can check it out tomorrow."

Koga put his hands on Ash's shoulders and turned him around.

"Go east, young trainer," he intoned in a serious-sage voice. "Before you meet the bridges and waterways that will lead you to Saffron, you will see a path. Follow that path, and it will bring you to what you seek."

"Go for Route 15, take the first left," Janine clarified.

Ash tried to keep his expression controlled at the look of sheer exasperation on Koga's face.

And then lost it completely when Koga, in a pretty passible imitation of Darth Vader, intoned: "You have much to learn."


	39. The Safari Zone

**Chapter 39, everybody! My goodness it's been a while! Had a bit of a stall on this section, and probably will for a bit until I get the Kanto flow figured out and what happens where—I do have lots of chunks written up (actually about 150 more pages), just nothing immediately after this. On the positive side, I pretty much wrote up the last chapter in a day, so that's done….Anyway, still a work in progress, bear with me and accept my apologies. ^^; And my continuing awe at the attention this fic has gotten, my goodness….**

 ** **Also, rewatched the episode where Ash and Co. go to the Safari Zone…I'm going to guess that the Pokémon world doesn't have anything resembling child services.****

 **11JJ11, thanks for the review! Yes, well, who wouldn't want Frenzy on their roster?**

 **LuminousMoonRay, thanks for the review! I agree, Koga is treated quite well by the fanfiction community. :D I think we might warrant one—if I were to make a popularity poll for the characters, Frenzy would probably win by a landslide, considering all the reviews that mention him. ^^**

 **Maidengarnet, thanks for the review! And glad you like Frenzy—and Koga and Janine. Aha, I figure that would be the natural reaction after fear. :D Lenny knows what's up….**

 **Kiri Kaitou Clover, thanks for the review! And glad you like it so far! Aha, I prefer being able to laugh, so I'm glad you like the humor. :D And Darkrai's sarcasm. And I'm glad that I'm keeping the characters in character! That's important to me in a fic. :D I've been sweating about avoiding OP Ash, so glad to know I'm doing that so far. Thank you. :)**

 **Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! Well, the world doesn't revolve around Ash, despite being saved by him on a number of occasions…stuff does happen without him. It does. Oh goodness yes—I wonder how insurance companies work in the Pokémon world? "Oh, I see you have a fire type now—so we'll tack on fire insurance and raise your payments by five hundred dollars." Oh. Ha, I'd like to think Ash is a bit more competent than that, but the show did basically say "oh yeah ten is totally a legitimate age to send you out to live on your own—no we didn't bother with Home Ec before then." And I think it was established that in the show universe, Ash wasn't all that good at school either. ^^; To be fair, Jessie probably couldn't afford to be picky growing up. No he didn't—but then again how much of him do we see in the show prior to the incident with Mewtwo? Mostly we see through Team Rocket's filter, and (hopefully) that's not very accurate. O-o Yes! The Tauros will definitely be mentioned later on in the story, don't worry. :D Agreed.**

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! Thank you—yes. And hopefully!**

 **Nozomi Higurashi, thanks for the review! I feel you—I've marathoned fics before, and am flattered that you decided to do so with mine. :D Ask him if he'll stream _Distortion Zone_ episodes while you're there. ;)**

 **JuptileNamudori253, thanks for the review! Thank you! We'll see….Another fan of Frenzy! :D**

 **Scarlet Firesong, thanks for the review! Hopefully you got some sleep since then. ^^;**

 **Albertasteinthe21stgenius, thanks for the review, and glad you like it! :D**

 **Duskrider, thanks for the review! Good question….**

 **And a Merry Christmas, happy New Year, and assorted other holidays to you, guest! I'm glad you find the story both amusing and relaxing, thank you. Don't listen to those critics. ;)**

 **IceDragonGirl36, thanks for the review! And the funny thing is, the only _Star Wars_ movie I watched was Episode I, and all I remember from it (because it was the only parts I liked) was Jar Jar Binks. For some reason, that's an unpopular opinion….That would be nice—dragon types are fun to raise and battle with, and are absolutely gorgeous in contests (Gen III contests will always have a special place in my heart). Now _that's_ dedication—and happy new year! Only took me six months….**

 **Vulaan Kulaas, thanks for the review! And I'm glad you like the story enough to reread it, wow! It's on my to-do list. :) I guarantee Darkrai will lose his cool at least once while we're watching. ;)**

 **Yourfriendlyneighborhoodturtle, thanks for the review! And thank you, I'm glad you like it! :D**

 **Popcornrocks13, thanks for the review! Glad you're liking it so far—even Bill's moment. Alas, poor Bill….**

 **ReneeSarah, thanks for the review! Eh, it's a transition scene, what can I say. And I'm working on getting into scriptwriting, so that might actually be a good thing….I'm curious as to if anyone actually _like_ commercials, except to run to the kitchen and get a snack—ruins the whole flow.**

 **AlienGhostWizard14, thanks for the review! And thank you, I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Guest 16, thanks for the review! And Misty gave no Muks that day.**

 **Fairy Tail D Slayer, thanks for the review! Aha, and just watched that movie too….**

 **Greatazuredragon, thanks for the reviews! Glad you like the intro, and Darkrai's snark, and the absurdity of it all. :D And the Abbott and Costello moment. :D And glad that I made you laugh too—I hope I can continue to please! :D**

 **Istwill56, thanks for the review! And glad you like my own spin on the "Ash with a legendary" story—could never find one that properly tickled my fancy, so I decided to write my own. Glad you like it! :D**

 **Dragon of Ying and Yang, thanks for the review! Well wait no more, here it is!**

 **NightFlowerLuv, thanks for the review! Yes! Thank you, I'm glad you like it! I've noticed that mixing the two is rather tricky (game VS anime Kanto map? Oi), but I'm glad you decided to take a chance on it. :) And I'm glad you like Darkrai too! And the route I'm taking with Giovanni—the first time I heard that theory I was utterly fascinated, so I'm definitely exploring it. Yes, actually—it's all on the radio, something which at least one of the characters takes very seriously. Let's be honest, by the time Ash hits Hoenn, someone will be back to poking one of the Legendaries with a stick again. ^^; Me neither—Unova and Alola are at the bottom of my list, only because they forgot that _game_ means _play, not read_. :P**

 **Ash the Aura Guardian, thanks for the review! Glad you appreciate the changes to the roster—and Frenzy. Frenzy seems to have amassed a following. I wasn't too sure when he showed up either, but following his thread convinced me. :D Eventually…and I hope you enjoy this update! :)**

 **Johnny Spectre, thanks for the review! We'll see. And good question—soon, I would think….**

 **ThisBadge, thanks for the review! June 6th, 2018—updates might be slow, but they'll always be coming, and the day I abandon a story is the day that I am deceased. Me too….**

 **That One Riolu Kid, thanks for the review! And the suggestion as to what ASH stands for—it may be accurate….**

 **Sand Soldier, thanks for the review! And that you found that funny—most seem to view it as a tad dark….**

 **Adra4522, thanks for the reviews, and _how!_ I love getting long reviews, and hopefully I can address any and all concerns. Glad you like how Team Rocket is behaving, and the Clefairy! That little moon-ish stone is definitely going to have a purpose later on. ;) The Chosen One bit only seems to show up in the movie, and their canon status with the rest of the show tends to be spotty—let's be honest, as one writer on this site has shown, if all the Legendaries paid in their favors, Ash would be swimming in goodies. I'm glad you like the story—and the world-building and the foreshadowing; I've got several Pokémon headcanons rattling around, so being able to implement them makes me happy. :D And I feel you there—I was big on the original series too, and I'm a bit bummed that I couldn't implement Butterfree and Pidgeotto. Eh, splitting up the starters was only an option because I saw another fanfic do it quite well, and it struck me as interesting. At least there's that! And I'm glad you like it despite the changes. :D And glad you like how the team is shaping up, and how Ash is handling things—and don't worry about the egg just yet, we'll be explaining it once we get there. :) And agreed, Meowth's speech is a pain in the patoot to write, but most of the time I can get away with writing it out with only a few dialect edits because we know what he sounds like on the show. Once again, thank you for the lovely reviews, and I hope I continue to please! :D**

 **Raj8, thanks for the reviews! Glad you like it—and still a bit shocked that it warranted a recommend on TV Tropes. ;v; Yes…and thank you! I hope you enjoy any other stories I write as well! :D**

 **Cindar, thanks for the review! Another one for Frenzy! Good question—Darkrai…seems to have a healthy respect for him at the moment…and no problem! I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **AverageHiveMind, thank you for this lovely long review! And I'm glad you like the story well enough to reread it several times, wow! Glad you like Ash and Darkrai's dynamic—someday….And most likely there will be a Dark VS Psychic beatdown, don't worry. Everyone seems to like Frenzy—I like him too; I tend to giggle when I write him. :D And glad I'm keeping the other characters in character too! And that you like how Team Rocket is being handled—and very good questions….And glad you like the Clefairy subplot as well! Perhaps….And good question—we shall see….Yes, I can't imagine Ash being anything but Ash, but having a snarky friend definitely adds a fun dynamic. :D Thank you, you make me blush! And I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

 **Jurassic Park** **© Steven Spielberg (Misty quotes Ian Malcom here)**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **In other news, the Safari Zone is now open to visitors. Visit Fuchsia City today to try your chance at getting those impossible-to-find Pokémon. This message is sponsored by the Fuchsia City Tourist Bureau.**

Night was spent at the Pokémon Center, in a fairly average room. Ash was starting to get used to narrow windows and hard cots.

The next morning, after eating breakfast and getting their Pokémon back, they headed off towards Route 15 and the Safari Zone.

"There's our turning," Brock said about thirty minutes later, pointing at a left-hand turn.

"Thank you, Brock," Misty said. "I wouldn't have known if you hadn't told me."

"Is sarcasm really necessary?"

"It is when the sign's that big."

Ash gave the huge safari-pattern sign a cursory glance before heading down the side road, picking up speed as they neared a huge gate.

"What do they even have in there?" Misty asked, stopping to give the Safari gate a look. "King Kong?"

"Kangaskhan and Dratini and Tauros and _Dratini_ and Scyther and _Dratini_ —" Ash called back, running for the doors.

"Let me guess what you're hoping to find."

"A dragon that'll be _so_ awesome we could power through just about anything—"

"Do you have any idea how much work raising a dragon _is_?" Brock hollered after them as Ash burst through the double doors.

"Hi!" Ash said, looking around and running for the front desk. "I'd like to check out the Safari Zone, please!"

"Wait in line," the person behind the desk said, waving at him and focusing on the couple in front of him. Oi.

"Now wait a minute!" the man in front of him said, rounding on him. "You want to go into the Safari Zone—are you a Pokémon trainer?"

"Uh, yeah," Ash said, as Misty and Brock arrived behind him. "I've already got four badges!"

"Wonderful!" the lady said, causing Ash to puff up a little bit.

"Then we would like to give you a little job," the man said, grabbing Ash's hands. "We need you to scour the Safari Zone—these bureaucrats won't let us—"

"Vehicles of any variety aren't allowed in the Safari Zone," the deskperson said.

"We were going to use our helicopter!" the lady protested.

"It still counts."

"We would of course pay you handsomely," the man said.

Ash kind of liked the sound of that, but he'd much rather know what it was he was getting into first. "Uh…what are you wanting, exactly?"

"Well, you see, our little boy is missing!"

"Missing?" Misty echoed, startled.

"Yes, his name is Tommy—here's a picture," the lady said, holding a picture out for them to look at. Ash looked at it, figured the boy in the picture didn't get his looks from the father.

"That's terrible—what happened?" Brock asked.

"Well, it all started five years ago," the man began.

"Five years ago?" Brock echoed.

"Yes, that was when he fell out of the helicopter."

"Do _what_?" Misty asked flatly.

"Don't worry, he had a parachute. But we figured that at three years old, it was time for little Tommy to start seeing the world with us."

"How did a three-year-old fall out of a helicopter?" Brock asked, tone much cooler than it had been.

"Oh it was terrible—all he wanted was to get a closer look at the Pokémon!"

Ash tried very hard to keep his expression from being a grimace and didn't think he was succeeding—at times like these, he was reminded of Darkrai's comments, that Pokémon generally had a dim view of humans and their child-rearing abilities. Guys like this probably did nothing to help that perception.

"All right, sure, we'll look for Tommy while we're in there," Ash said, if for nothing else so he could actually get out into the Safari Zone.

"That's splendid!" the man cheered, grabbing both of Ash's hands in his. "We're so glad there's still a spot of good in humanity! Oh thank you!"

Ash was pretty sure his expression was a grimace now, and turned his attention to the attendant. "We'd like to get into the Safari Zone, please."

The attendant nodded, put a tray on the counter, and then pulled another one out with a wrist-device on it. "Please put your Pokéballs and Pokémon in this empty tray, please."

Ash blinked. "Ah, do what?"

"We can't let you bring foreign Pokémon into the Safari Zone—it would run the risk of disrupting the ecosystem too much. Your Pikachu will have to go back into its ball as well."

Oh boy. "Can I leave them with a friend back in town?" Ash asked, freeing up his hands to more effectively gesture. "It's just—Pikachu doesn't like being in a ball."

"I suppose so," the lady sighed.

"Great, thanks. I'll be back."

Misty and Brock followed him as he darted back outside and started casting about for a likely hiding space.

"Hey, Darkrai!" Ash called upon finding one.

 ** _"What?"_** Darkrai asked flatly, drifting out.

"Will you keep an eye on my Pokémon for me? The safari lady won't let me take them in, and you know Pikachu doesn't like a Pokéball."

"Pika _chu_ ," Pikachu said, ears pinned back as Ash held him out to Darkrai.

 ** _"News flash, I'm not thrilled about being stuck with you either,"_** Darkrai said, hands on his hips.

"As much as I hate to suggest it, we may need you to bring our Pokémon over so we can…I don't know, are we going to help those people?" Misty asked, glancing at Brock. "I mean, they seem broken up about it all, but…."

"But they dropped a three-year-old out of a helicopter over unpopulated territory _five years ago_ ," Brock said tightly, arms folded and demeanor bristling. "I guarantee you, one of my siblings got lost, I would be turning Kanto over looking for them. This here, this is just ridiculous."

 ** _"I need context here,"_** Darkrai said, narrowing his eyes at Ash.

"This couple in there lost their kid like, five years ago," Ash said, pointing at the building. "And they want us to go look for the kid while we're in there."

 ** _"Bless your stupid bleeding heart—this is why no Pokémon thinks anything of humans."_**

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Misty asked.

 ** _"I mean that starter Pokémon view their role as 'teaching the kid properly seeing as how the parents want to get rid of the brats as soon as possible.'"_**

"As it's explained to me, Pokémon have very dim views of humans and our ability to take care of kids," Ash said.

 ** _"They send you out into the wilderness at ten with an under-leveled Pokémon. You they send out into the wilderness at ten with an under-leveled Pokémon that wanted you dead. Are you seeing an issue here?"_**

"But you got better, right?" Ash asked Pikachu.

"It's very telling that you didn't deny that Pikachu wanted you dead," Misty said.

"Yeah, well…."

Brock nodded once, apparently coming to a decision, and unbuckled his Pokéball belt, handing it to Darkrai.

"No traumatizing anyone," Brock said as Darkrai took it with a questioning look. "As much as it pains me to say it, I'm going in there and looking for that kid—if for nothing else, to give the parents a sense of closure."

"You don't think he's alive?" Misty asked, looking at Brock with an appalled expression.

"No one's seen him, he's been in the wilderness for five years, at an age where he wouldn't understand how to take care of himself properly," Brock said. "Unless some Pokémon took pity on him, the prospects are probably dim."

Ash looked at Darkrai. " _Would_ a Pokémon take care of him?"

 ** _"Most likely,"_** Darkrai said, scratching at his sawtooth ridge. **_"Like I said, most Pokémon view it as their duty to take care of human children—it's why those professors keep sending out little brats to do their field work."_**

"I thought it was because everyone past a certain age was drafted," Misty said.

 ** _"Human stupidity at its finest."_**

"Not now," Brock said, spotting Misty steaming. "Now come on, are we going to do this or not?"

Misty huffed, but handed her Pokéballs over to Darkrai. "Don't you dare do anything to them."

 ** _"I think I'll drop them in a lake,"_** Darkrai decided, expression studiously bored as Ash draped his Pokébelt over Darkrai's arm. Pikachu hopped down to stand next to Darkrai, apparently drawing the line at actually touching the Legendary.

"He's kidding," Ash told Misty, who looked like she was going to take Darkrai on, Pokémon or no. "Now come on, let's go look for that kid."

* * *

The wrist device at the Safari Zone was explained in short order.

"It uses the same technology that most compacting devices use," the lady explained, as Ash focused on the wrist device and tried very hard to ignore the couple watching them expectantly. "You see here? This button launches a Safari Ball for you, and this one launches bait. You can also throw rocks at a Pokémon, but I don't recommend it."

"I can't imagine why," Misty said drily, putting her wrist device on. "What's this counter here?"

"That's your time limit. It's five dollars for five hours, and you can only go in once a day."

"We can cover a lot of ground in five hours," Brock said. "Any suggestions?"

The lady glanced at Ash, who was starting to vibrate in anticipation. "Let me guess: you want to know where the Dratini nest is."

Ash nodded vigorously.

"Don't forget our son!" the man interposed.

"Uh, yeah, but he could be near the Dratini nest," Ash tried.

"We haven't forgotten," Brock said, still with that cool tone as he glared at the couple. "But I don't recommend getting your hopes up. Five years is a long time for a child to be left to his own devices."

"Have you heard anything about this?" Misty asked the lady at the counter.

"Just what I heard today," the lady told her. "To be honest, I've been working here a year and haven't heard of any lost boys."

"That's because they're with Peter Pancham," Ash said, earning a thunking on the head by Misty.

The lady shrugged and pointed to the door. "Well, there's the entrance. Your time starts as soon as you step through the gate. Anything happens, you hit that big red button on the device and services will come find you via the GPS in the wrist device. Understood?"

"You got it."

* * *

They took a moment to admire the rolling field the safari gate opened out on before making a beeline for the nearest patch of woodland cover.

Darkrai was waiting for them as soon as they lost sight of the grasslands, Pikachu sitting on the ground next to him.

 ** _"So let me see if I understand this correctly,"_** Darkrai said. **_"You're going to spend the time allotted here, that you would usually spend hunting for a rare Pokémon, hunting for some people's kid that you don't know from Adam. Have I made any inaccurate statements yet?"_**

"I'm going to be looking around the Dratini lake," Ash pointed out. "I hear that's where they nest."

 ** _"Considering the line tends towards aquatic when not flying…."_**

Brock took his Pokéballs back quietly.

"We'll look for the kid," Brock said. "But like I said, the prospect of finding him is very low. Of all the Pokémon listed in the Safari Zone, would any of them _actually_ take care of a human toddler?"

 ** _"Assume for a minute that I would know what Pokémon live here."_**

"Tauros and Dratini and Scyther and Nidoran and Dratini and Nidorino and Dratini," Ash rattled off.

 ** _"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, and you said 'Dratini' three times."_**

"We know, we already heard it," Misty said, looking at Ash. "And you said Kangaskhan were found here too."

"Yeah, them too."

Darkrai cocked his head. **_"Of any Pokémon in existence, Kangaskhan would be the most likely to randomly adopt an abandoned human toddler. They like kids, for some reason."_**

"So we find the Kangaskhan, and we find the kid. Seems simple enough—like it wouldn't take a whole lot of time out of our safari."

" _If_ the Kangaskhan were the ones to find the kid first," Brock pointed out.

 ** _"I find your persisting pessimism refreshing, by the way_** _,"_ Darkrai said, scratching under his chin.

"It's more realism—these people _did_ drop a three-year-old _out of a helicopter five years ago_."

 ** _"As you said. Multiple times,"_** Darkrai said, tipping his head back and forth slightly. **_"Well, if this is all you're going to do, I might as well go do something entertaining for these five hours. Ta."_**

"See if you can find the Kangaskhan while you're at it!" Ash called after him. Darkrai waved dismissively over his shoulder as he disappeared.

When he was gone, Ash looked at Misty and Brock.

"I…really don't want to find some little kid's corpse," Misty said finally.

"There's probably nothing left _to_ find," Brock told her. "We're talking forty pounds of fresh meat and bones, in a biome full of Pokémon known for not wasting anything."

"Thank you for that thought—and what idiot thought that going in a Safari Zone without Pokémon for protection was a good idea?"

"Probably the same people who thought holding a kid out of the window was a good idea," Ash said. "Welp! I'm off to find the Dratini nest! If I find anything, I'll holler."

"Go in the direction Darkrai went," Brock told him, before looking at Misty. "We'll look in a different direction—who knows? We might get something."

"All right," Misty sighed. "See you soon, Ash."

"See ya!" Ash chimed, already dodging into the underbrush.

Now to find those Dratini! And the kid, he supposed.


	40. The Kangaskhan Kid

**Chapter 40, everyone! In which we wrap up the Safari Zone….I actually made sure to finish this chapter and the last together before posting so I didn't post a short chapter (sorry for the delay, life got in the way), and I kept laughing all through writing this chapter. Not because it was funny, but because I kept picturing what everyone's reaction would be. Needless to say, you did not disappoint—and needless to say, formal apologies for this chapter. ^^;**

 **The song Ash sings is a Pokémon version of Rolf Harris' 1957 song "Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport"—I recommend giving it a listen, as it's an entertaining song. :)**

 **Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! This is true. This is also true, and was my reaction throughout watching the episode. Because even a two-year-old is going to question falling out of a helicopter without one and somehow surviving, that's why! Yes, I and at least one other person on DeviantArt question that. Actually, come to think of it, the only three I've ever seen on the show with some capacity for cooking has been Brock, Ash's mom, and Cilian—the girls can cook Poké-treats, but both the games and anime waffle on whether or not humans can eat that. I suppose the good news is, Giovanni leaves a lot of blanks for fanfic writers to fill in….**

 **ThatGuyDan, thanks for the review! Glad you like it, and I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **XT3100, thanks for the review! We'll see….**

 **Maidengarnet, thanks for the review! That was my feeling too when I watched that episode—apparently, there's no such thing as child services in the Pokémon world. And I do question the reasoning of just about EVERYONE in that episode. We shall see….**

 **Deant33, thanks for the review! That would be nice….**

 **11JJ11, thanks for the review! That seems like an accurate assessment. Agreed. And agreed—going to be spotty going for a bit, but progress is still progressing. :)**

 **Matemeo3, thanks for the review! I'm going to have to ask which MJ there. Yeah, that was a bit much—mostly because I hadn't updated in six months. If it happens again I might just switch over to summarizing answers to reviews instead of individual responses. Hope it continues to please! :D**

 **Dragonkeeper10, thanks for the review! Oh dear. That would be nice….**

 **Thor94, thanks for the review! Yes, yes, and yes—and of course I'll have a JP quote, love that trilogy. :D We'll see….**

 **ChanglingRin, thanks for the review! I did not know that, but I went and looked it up—and I can't say that I disagree with him there. Yes, Dratini!**

 **ThisBadge, thanks for the review! I've missed it too. We'll see….**

 **Greatazuredragon, thanks for the review! Yes…we can assess from the anime that Pokémon are generally possessing of an intelligence equal to humans, just without human sensibilities—as far as they're concerned, they're busy keeping the hatchling that got kicked out of the nest safe (kind of like how we take care of stray animals). Glad you like it! :D**

 **Ardtornismyname, thanks for the review! Yes, FINALLY! Now to keep from having six months as the usual gap…yes….**

 **Garm88, thanks for the review! That would be entertaining—and yeah, I know. If it happens again I'll switch to overall responses instead of individual.**

 **R3nlock, thanks for the review! Yay! That…might actually be good…I swear, watching the original series, I have no idea how it got off the ground—everyone's personalities in the beginning were inconsistent and mostly toxic. We'll see….**

 **Blitza, thanks for the review! Of course! Big awesome dragon versus kid that's probably bones by now? No contest.**

 **Davidtheumbreon, thanks for the review! Glad you like it! :D And Ash's priorities.**

 **Sand Soldier, thanks for the review! Oh yeah….**

 **MagicWarriorDragon, thanks for the review! You…might actually like this chapter then….**

 **Renee Sarah, thanks for the review, and glad you like it! :D**

 **IceDragonGirl36, thanks for the review! More of a general Pokémon thing—they don't understand the reasoning of sending a hatchling out in the wilderness with mostly negligible amounts of training, so they view it the same way we view taking care of kittens the mother cat has abandoned. That'd be a fair assessment.**

 **Thanks for the reviews, Guest! Agreed on all counts.**

 **Thanks for the review, Anonymous Person! Glad you like the banter—love writing that. :D**

 **Thanks for the review, Zaralann! Glad you like it! :D**

 **DixieChicrules123, thanks for the reviews! Considering** **Yu-Gi-Oh!** **is my main jam, I had to reference it at one point. ;) And glad you liked the humor and snark enough to add it to your favorites! As for Sinnoh—I have concepts, but nothing solid yet (and we have quite a ways to go until then, so…we'll see ;)).**

 **Heaven's Archer, thanks for the review! Glad you love it! :D**

 **InkayInks, thanks for the reviews, and welcome back! Of course—Frenzy is the best. ;) Well, let's be honest, there's a difference between being asked to find a kid that's been missing a few hours and a kid that's been missing for five years—you'll keep an eye out, yeah, but the urgency isn't there. We'll see….**

 **Anime Nightwing39, thanks for the review! Glad you love it enough to reread it! Ha, I never found a fanfic that really hit all the notes I was looking for, so I went and wrote one up—glad others are enjoying it! Those would actually be pretty good, since we don't see them very often…oh I'm definitely finishing the Kanto arc—I may take a while, but I never post a fic I don't finish.**

 **Hunter Redflame, thanks for the review! That's okay, it's been far too long since I updated *bricked* You may not be disappointed by this chapter then….Misty might have a fit at another bug, to be fair. Good to know! :D**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **In other news, theaters are releasing the remastered version of _Jurassic Park_. Get your tickets now to see these ancient Pokémon on the big screen. This message has been brought to you by Fangdango—where the sight of a Raticate is a good thing!**

Darkrai skimmed along, looking back and forth for signs of the particular Pokémon he was looking for. Ask this group, and depending on the answer, that would be that.

Now it just bore asking _why_ he was doing this.

 _You're doing it because it's the right thing to do. Something out of the goodness of your heart, maybe._

Darkrai snorted at that memory—ha, no, he didn't think so. Maybe to give whoever some warning—don't invest in kids, they latch onto you and never leave you alone after that. But it just fed into his opinion that most humans were absolutely worthless and…hmm?

He followed the sound of younglings playing, found a bunch of Kangaskhan babies play-fighting and growling and occasionally throwing berries at each other. Their mothers were probably lurking nearby, eating and keeping an eye and ear on them—the only reason he wasn't currently made was because he was downwind and his fur naturally tended towards camouflage in shadow.

And if he wasn't mistaken, there was a kid roughhousing with the rest of them.

 ** _"Well, one of these things is not like the other,"_** Darkrai mused—alerted to the fact that he had mused out loud when they all screamed and ran, prompting several adult Kangaskhan to burst out of the nearby foliage, scooping them up and scanning the brush with bared teeth.

Figuring there was nothing for it, Darkrai drifted slightly out into the open, one paw raised. **_"Yo."_**

 _"Waah! Momma! It's scary!"_ one of the baby Kangaskhan yelled, jumping in a pouch. Which was the general opinion of most of the little Kangaskhan, except for one, which had a paw around the wrist of the little kid in what looked like part of a Tauros' ruff.

 _"It's okay, Momma's going to knock that thing clear to the moon,"_ it was telling the kid, before looking at the adult Kangaskhan partially blocking them from a lunge on Darkrai's part. _"Right, Momma?"_

The adult Kangaskhan seemed to be more interested in evaluating Darkrai, having noted that he had in fact _not_ attacked or fled or anything, which gave him hope as far as having a civil discussion was concerned.

 ** _"Nice kids,"_** Darkrai opted to say, before pointing at the human child. **_"Let me guess, that one takes after his father."_**

 _"Sasha, just torch it and let's go,"_ one of the other Kangaskhan said.

The one he had been addressing, however, maneuvered so she was properly blocking him from the kids. _"Who wants to know?"_ she demanded.

 ** _"Chill, I'm just here giving you some useful information,"_** Darkrai said, picking up and examining a still-intact berry to help give off the _I'm not interested in eating your kids_ vibe. **_"You wouldn't happen to be willing to share where you got the one kid, are you? Or are you waiting until he's older to have that conversation?"_**

 _"This isn't bashing,"_ the kid said, peering around the Kangaskhan—ah, but of course, he'd have grown up hearing nothing but Pokénese.

 _"I think this leads up to the bashing,"_ the actual baby Kangaskhan said, leaning around her other side. _"Like, trash-talk or something."_

 _"Shoo,"_ the Kangaskhan said, putting massive paws on both their heads. _"Momma is having a discussion. Those don't always end in fighting."_

 _"They should,"_ the Kangaskhan baby said, sulking.

 ** _"Free advice kid: the ones that don't end in fighting are the ones you want to have,"_** Darkrai said, flicking the berry away.

The Kangaskhan looked back at him sharply, the other adult behind lifting her head higher to make herself look more intimidating, paws positioned to both protect her pouch and swing up into an attack if necessary. _"You were saying your piece and leaving."_

 _" **I was. Humans are coming, and they want the kid. I'm sure you know which one I'm talking about."**_

He had backed up with that declaration, and a good thing too—the Kangaskhan flew into a rage, only the two kids by her side keeping her from actually going into a raging stomping fit.

 _"No, no, NO! they can't have him!"_ she roared. _"We waited! We stayed around where we found him for years, even though the Nidos kept trying to chase us off! We stayed for ages and no one came! They gave up any right they had to him LONG ago!"_

 _"What's a human?"_ the kid asked the Kangaskhan baby, from behind the raging mother.

 _"They're like trainers—they're no good,"_ the Kangaskhan baby said.

 ** _"I guess you haven't told him he was adopted yet,"_** Darkrai observed drily.

The Kangaskhan snapped back to glaring at him. _"What do you want?"_

 ** _"I'm just letting you know. As a Pokémon, do you think I think that humans are capable of raising their own? And depending on what you tell the knucklehead heading this way,"_** he added, hearing said knucklehead coming up behind. **_"Will depend on who comes after you later."_**

 _"Is that a threat?"_ she snarled.

 ** _"A warning—you can tell the difference, can't you?"_**

One of the other Kangaskhan lifted its head, having heard the yutz coming as well. _"There's a human coming."_

Another Kangaskhan looked to the one Darkrai had been chatting with. _"We can take care of it—accidents happen in this area every day, the humans say. They won't think twice about another one, especially if we get rid of it."_

The lead Kangaskhan seemed sorely tempted.

 ** _"Yeah,"_** Darkrai said flatly. **_"You see this nice, quiet, calm conversation we're having? That will change."_**

Suspicious eyes locked on him. _"A trained 'mon?"_

 ** _"This one isn't mine,"_** Darkrai said—and he was glad of that, considering it sounded very much like the yutz was absently singing 'Tie me Kangaskhan Down, Sport' as he went—look—yes, he was, poking where he was going to walk with a long stick he had found to make sure he didn't step on anything untoward.

"'Take me Marowak back, Jack, take me Marowak back,'" he sang, before spotting them in the clearing. "Oh wow, Kangaskhan! Hi!"

" _What is that?" _the kid asked.

 _"That's a trainer,"_ the baby Kangaskhan said. _"Don't worry, Momma will rough him up."_

"You must be Tommy," the yutz continued, before looking at Darkrai. "I mean, I'm guessing but…I'm pretty sure there isn't a bunch of kids living out here."

 ** _"That must have taxed that one brain cell, figuring that out,"_** Darkrai said flatly.

 _"My name is Tomo! Not Tommy! What kind of weird name is that?"_ the kid yelled, flailing behind the adult Kangaskhan.

Said adult was watching carefully, apparently debating on whether or not remaining civil was a viable option.

"Anyway," the yutz said, looking back at the Kangaskhan. "Tommy's parents are looking for them, and I kind of said I'd keep an eye out for them. They seem pretty worried."

 _"he can understand you?"_ she asked Darkrai; he nodded. _"Then tell him they should have thought about that before leaving him here."_

Darkrai did so.

"That's about Brock's opinion," the yutz told her. "But he'll be surprised—he figured something big and meat-eating found him first. But…you'd want to know if your kid was okay, right? If he went missing?"

She looked down her snout at him. _" I would not have left the issue this long."_

Darkrai translated.

"That's what Brock said too," the yutz said.

 _"Is Brock a Kangaskhan?"_ one of the Kangaskhan asked Darkrai.

 ** _"We're about ninety percent sure he's a gym leader,"_** Darkrai told them.

One of the Kangaskhan sniffed at that, as though that were not quite a satisfactory answer.

 _"What's a gym leader?"_ the human kid asked.

" _It's like a trainer, but like its evolved form,"_ the baby Kangaskhan that had thus far refused to leave its side said.

"So…Tommy's okay though, right?" the yutz asked. "Been real taken care of and everything?"

 _"My name is TOMO, idiot human!"_ the kid said, obviously missing the nuances of the insult.

 _"Of course,"_ the lead Kangaskhan sniffed.

Darkrai translated.

"Okay, so it's not a problem," the yutz said, beaming. "We tell them he's alive and well and living happily with the Kangaskhan and…I guess you're not supposed to move a kid in his formative years, right?"

 ** _"And since when were you a child psychologist?"_** Darkrai asked, arms crossed.

 _"I'm all for not lingering here much longer anyway,"_ the yellow rat said, having eyed the various Kangaskhan during the whole affair. They weren't attacking, yes, and they had loosened up a little bit, but they were still in a position to attack them and destroy them should they choose.

"But this is great, problem solved, where's the Dratini nest from here?" the yutz continued, still grinning like an idiot.

A few of the Kangaskhan blinked and exchanged glances. The lead one shuffled a bit, making sure it stayed between them and the younglings, obviously not trusting this change of tack.

 _"You do what?"_ she asked.

"Well, I'm kinda wanting to catch a Dratini, and I don't know how far it is to their nest or how long it's going to take when I get there and—"

 _"Hold it,"_ the lead Kangaskhan interrupted, making short cutting motions with its foreclaws. _"You're not going to try to take Tomo?"_

"No," the yutz replied, once Darkrai had translated. "I never said we were going to take Tommy—Tomo, I guess—back to those people. I said we would _look_. _Looking_ is not the same as _delivering_."

The yellow rat was quiet for a long moment as it digested this. _"That's right, you did say that,"_ it said finally, before pointing at Darkrai. _"You. You're a terrible influence."_

 _" **Who, me?"** _ Darkrai asked, feigning aghast.

 _"Yes, you."_

 _"So that means we're safe?"_ the kid asked.

 _"I guess so,"_ the baby Kangaskhan said.

They nodded at each other, were shortly on either side of the yutz and poking him.

 _"So this is a trainer—they smell funny,"_ the kid opined.

 ** _"They're all like that, but this one never seems to bathe on a regular basis,"_** Darkai opined.

" _Hey,"_ the yutz protested.

 _"No, we do not poke trainers, that's what gets you caught in a Pokéball,"_ the lead Kangaskhan said, picking up the kid and the baby Kangaskhan by the scruffs of their necks; she took a moment to sniff at the yutz. _"And I suppose, in exchange for you not taking my son, we can lead you to the Dratini nest—mostly so we can keep an eye on you while you're here."_

"You don't have to worry about that," the yutz said when Darkrai translated. "I said we were only _looking_ for him, not that we were going to take him away."

 ** _"Am I to understand you mercilessly manipulated your wording to wriggle your way out of delivering a child to his parents, just so this doesn't cut into your safari time?"_** Darkrai asked, eye ridge raised as he eyed the yutz.

"Well, when you say it like _that_ …."

Darkrai considered this, nodded once. **_"Good. I approve."_**

Dodging the yellow rat's Thunder Wave wasn't much of an effort.

* * *

 _"So what's it like, working for a trainer?"_

Oi. _"Much like the last thirty times you asked, about as life-threatening as migrating,"_ Pikachu sighed, wondering if it would be better if he went back to Ash's shoulder. At least then he wouldn't be peppered by questions on both sides. _"And you,"_ he added, looking at Tommy, Tomo, whatever his name was. _"You should be asking Ash—you're both human, he can answer your questions."_

The kid shook his head. _"Nuh-uh! I'ma Kangaskhan!"_

 _"Let me guess, that hasn't come up in conversation yet."_

 _"Tomo, Jojo, maybe you should ride in the pouch for a while, hmm?"_ the mama Kangaskhan said. _"Give them some peace and quiet?"_

 _"But I wanna know more about training!"_ the baby Kangaskhan wailed. _"Like how does it work? We don't go around fighting the other troops—why do humans go around fighting each other?"_

 _"So they can evolve into gym leaders?"_ the kid guessed.

" _Oi, tell me I wasn't this deluded,"_ Pikachu moaned; sure, fine, he had a few misconceptions about humans as well before he was captured, but this was bordering on ridiculous.

"Hey, Pikachu, need a lift?" Ash offered, and at this point Pikachu was more than willing to take him up on that offer.

 _"Save me from inquisitive kids,"_ Pikachu said, nuzzling his cheek.

"I wonder how Misty and Brock are doing," Ash mused.

* * *

Misty and Brock were doing just fine, to tell the truth. Except for the minor issue of the Scyther.

"I've never seen anyone pull that off," Brock said, once they were gone. "I mean, most people would be intimidated by a five-foot insect with sharp blades."

"I wasn't intimidated," Misty groused, stomping her way through the field. "I was downright _terrified_. What idiot thought that letting people out here without Pokémon to protect them was a good idea?"

"Maybe they knew about your arm."

"I—that's not funny, Brock."

"It's a little funny," Brock said, smirking. "Especially when—Pinsir."

The identified Pokémon went down quickly to a mallet to the head.

* * *

It was getting late, and Ash kept checking the wrist device to see how much time they had left.

"Boy, if it takes this long to get to the Dratini nest, no wonder no one catches them," he muttered.

 ** _"Hmm. You wouldn't happen to be leading us into a trap, would you?"_** Darkrai asked of the Kangaskhan. The lead one, which now had the baby Kangaskhan and Tommy/Tomo/Whoever in its pouch, turned to snort at that before continuing on, holding a branch up so they could pass through.

" _Kangas-ka,"_ it said, pointing across a clearing.

Ash looked, gave a squeak of excitement at the sight—a lake, with a big pile of boulders in the middle, and sunning on the banks and the boulders were several long blue ribbons of scales. _Dratini!_

"Hey thanks!" he said to the Kangaskhan, waving as he dashed across the clearing and to the nearest boulder on this side, trying to get some Poké-bait while simultaneously trying not to fall in any burrows along the way. Finally succeed, skid to a halt and bump against the boulder—

The Dratini looked down at the sound, spotted him, and dove into the lake with a squeak.

"Hey wait—" Ash started, only to hear several other splashes—the Dratini diving into the lake and out of sight. "Oi."

 ** _"Ah well, you tried,"_** Darkrai said, floating up next to him.

"Yeah, but I think there's something else I can try," Ash said, releasing more Poké-bait and throwing it into the middle of the lake. It took about three times before something came up from under and snatched some of the food. A few more nibbled, and Ash started tossing some closer.

 ** _"You do know you're probably feeding Magikarp, right?"_** Darkrai asked.

"Let a guy hope, alright?"

Darkrai sighed and drifted off, Pikachu following him after a few moments. Ash resumed tossing food in with the hopes of attracting a Pokémon over—

And then something snatched some food near him, and he could see that it belonged to something blue.

"Ha- _ha_ ," Ash noised triumphantly, tossing some food closer to him. And closer, and closer, until the number of heads dwindled down to just a few, and then just to one, consistently going for the food, even when Ash dropped it right in his own reflection. He waited a moment, was rewarded when the Dratini head bobbed up in expectation, gingerly held out a piece of food for it, not daring to breathe.

This close, as it gingerly rose out of the water to sniff at his hand, Ash could appreciate the raw power and beauty of a Dragon type. Glittering little scales reflected every faint source of light, from the setting sun to the rippling reflection off the water, with coils of muscle beneath—and Dratini was just the start of the line! From what he could see, this one was as long as Brock was tall, sky blue upper scales blending in with the water, paler belly scales moving slightly as it breathed, snorting a puff of air out of the nostrils on top of its rounded white snout. The bud of a white horn was starting between its deep calculating eyes, and its ears were showing the beginnings of the white feathers that would bloom out when it became a Dragonair. It was wild, it was obviously willful, and Ash was starting to get dizzy from holding his breath and just mentally _begging_ that it would go with him _please_ let it come he wouldn't ask for anything again just let him get this Dratini—

It sniffed at his hand again, eyed his face, sniffed again before lifting out of the water some more and taking the food. Ash let out a breath, trying to keep it to a controlled and quiet hiss, got a little more food out to hold out to it—not as much hesitation this time. Okay, good…just…one more time, and then Pokéball….

It took that bit, watched him carefully, now expecting food from him—bumped his hand to punctuate this point and _oh wow it touched me yes it wants to come with me BALL NOW!_

It took everything he had to carefully, _carefully_ reach for the wrist device, feeling it to find the right button, not taking his eyes off the Dratini for one second because if he did it would be gone—almost—there—

 _BEEEbibibibibibibibi—_

The Dratini dove back into the water, Ash fell backwards in alarm before jumping up—

"Aw, _no! Come on!"_ he wailed, grasping at his hair as the ripples faded before finally locating the source of the noise—the wrist device flashing 0:00. Try to get the buttons working—nothing. Time was up.

"Aw, _man_ ," Ash moaned, hanging his head.

Great.

* * *

The safari rangers came and picked Misty and Brock up, their collective Pokéballs hidden within Brock's vest and carefully smoothed down so nothing showed. It was a nice ride, sitting in the back as the sun continued to disappear behind the mountains and various Pokémon called to each other.

"Remember that movie, _Jurassic Park?"_ Misty asked.

"Yes," Brock said. "I have at least three brothers who want a Tyrantrum."

"Probably not a good thing."

"Probably."

"And these vehicles are allowed why?" Misty asked one of the rangers. "Not that I'm complaining, but I heard that they weren't allowed."

"Outside vehicles aren't," one ranger said. "We had to do a lot of work on this one so it's low-impact to the environment."

"Ah."

They picked up Ash before it got full dark—Darkrai had probably already left with his Pokémon.

"So, how'd it go?" Misty asked as he sat down.

"I was _this close,"_ Ash said, holding two fingers together and squinting. " _This close,_ and then this stupid wrist-thing had to go off."

"Bummer. But at least you got to see a Dratini instead of a bunch of bugs."

"There _is_ that," Ash sighed, resting his head in his hands.

Brock let them ride in silence for a minute before posing the pertinent question.

"Did you find him?"

Ash looked up at Brock blankly before what he asked apparently sank in. "Yeah—Tommy—well, he's calling himself Tomo—he's living with the Kangaskhan."

Brock looked a little more than mildly surprised. "You weren't expecting that," Misty observed.

"It…wasn't very likely," Brock admitted, scratching the back of his head. "That kid's pretty lucky."

"Yeah. So now what? We tell his parents and go on our merry way?"

"Oi, them," Ash moaned, burying his face in his hands again.

"Why do I get the feeling he's being better taken care of with a bunch of Kangaskhan than he was with them?" Brock asked.

"Because the Kangaskhan didn't drop him from a helicopter?" Misty guessed.

"That might be it."

"I guess we do have to tell them," Ash said, as the jeep came to a stop next to the gate. "I mean, it's kind of a courtesy thing, right? Hey, your kid's alive, good for you?"

" _Good for you_ is better than what I was thinking," Brock said, standing and jumping over the side. Misty accepted his help getting down, stretched a bit as he helped Ash down too. "So, let's go break it to them."

Misty followed them in, squinted at the sudden burning of the bright fluorescent lights after having been used to the night—

"There they are!"

She blinked a few times to clear her eyes, saw the two parents standing there eagerly.

"So? Did you find him?" the father asked.

"Uh, yeah, we did," Ash said.

"You did? You did! Where is he?" the mother asked, looking them all over like they had the kid hidden away in their pockets.

"Uh, well, here's the thing, he's with the Kangaskhan—"

"Kangaskhan?" the mother asked, looking horrified.

"Yeah, but they're all doing great, so maybe if you went and…visited? Be all _hi, thanks so much for taking care of my kid, you guys are great, maybe we can all hang?"_

"But…but they're just…."

"They took very good care of Tommy," Ash said. "It's just he doesn't speak anything but Pokémon-talk, since that's the only language they know."

"Well we can fix that," the father said. "Get Tommy back from those animals and raise him up like a proper human being—shouldn't take much, they're just a bunch of brainless Pokémon."

Misty could very clearly see Ash shut down at that comment, going from open and mostly bemused to completely closed-faced.

"So where are they?" the father demanded. "We need to get our son back."

Ash worked his jaw a little, closemouthed, and Misty thought she could see a little bit of Darkrai's mannerisms there.

And then he pointed off in a direction that they hadn't come from.

" _Waaaaay_ over there—like, way far in the northwest corner there, opposite direction of the Dratini nest. Dratini eat Kangaskhan, so they avoid them and hang with the Nidoran," Ash said. "Because Kangaskhan and Nidoran are buddies, don't you know."

The parents both nodded, making Misty wonder if they had ever been around Pokémon at all in their lives. "Well we can hire you to take us there—" the father began—

"Ooh, sorry, can't, on a tight schedule and all—plus it doesn't matter if I go in with you, I'm not allowed Pokémon in there," Ash said, before checking his wrist. "And oh look at that, it's past my bedtime. Gotta go."

"What do you mean, past your bedtime? You're a trainer!"

Ash paused in his maneuvering around them to glare back at the guy. "I'm _ten,"_ he said, leaning forward for emphasis. "All the professionals handy, and you want a ten-year-old to escort you? You don't even know if I know the difference between a Kangaskhan, a Rhydon, and a Nidoqueen! Oi."

And with that, Ash plunked the wrist device on the counter and stalked out.

The parents looked at Misty and Brock.

"Can't," Brock said, putting his own wrist device on the counter. "Got a full-time job keeping after him."

Misty put her wrist device on the counter, trying to avoid the now desperate looks the parents were giving her. Finally, she took a deep breath, turned to face them.

"Stay out of the long grass near the middle of the safari—it has Scyther," she told them.

And then she, too, was out the door, picking up her pace as soon as she was outside to catch up with Ash and Brock.

"We should feel bad about that, kinda," she told them.

"We should," Brock agreed. "But I have a hard time doing that with a pair as irresponsible as _that_."

"I was all for helping them until they insulted the Kangaskhan," Ash said, not looking back.

"I noticed," Misty said.

"I mean, Darkrai said that they said that they waited around for _ages_ for someone to come and find Tommy, that they fought off a bunch of Nidos to stay in the right place—they're taking really good care of him, and those two act like he's living like some sort of—of—I don't know!"

"Like Tarzan, only filthy?" Brock guessed.

"Yeah."

Misty shrugged. "Well, it's over now—and don't even think about it."

 ** _"And what was I going to do?"_** Darkrai asked, coming around her from behind.

"Scare the life out of me."

 ** _"Pish,"_** Darkrai said, waving her off before floating over to Ash. **_"So? How'd it go?"_**

"We decided that Tommy was better off with the Kangaskhan," Ash said, as Pikachu hopped over from Darkrai's back to his shoulder.

 ** _"I could have told you that."_**

And that, Misty thought, was why Tommy was still with the Pokémon. Whether or not she thought he was better off was another story, but it gave her some insight into Ash's reasoning.

Now it was just a question of whether or not that was a good thing.


	41. Route Fifteen

**Chapter 41, everybody, and Happy New Year! As you can see, I am not dead! *dodges tomatoes* Yes, well…I've had the next several chapters for this plotted out for** ** _months_** **, but every time I tried to sit down and work on it I'd do a few lines of that and then skip ahead and do a whole chapter for a scene that doesn't come up until** ** _way_** **on down the line—things like Erika's battle, Sabrina's battle, Lavender Tower….The final chapter is even written all the way out, so at least I know where I'm aiming—it's just the matter of filling the rest of it in. Finally got so aggravated with myself that I sat my happy rear down and told myself to write the next chapter while I was downloading some things—ended up getting five pages written that night, so success. And we'll get plenty of nice updates once I finish stringing everything together….Long story short: will probably be spending all of January focusing on my active stories, so things will be a bit sporadic, but they'll be getting done at least, and hopefully we won't see another half-a-year between updates. :P**

 **Jakeroo123, thanks for the review! I do remember Team Rocket trying a Tamato Berry, so I'm inclined to agree there. It is questionable when the show doesn't even follow its own logic….**

 **11JJ11, thanks for the review! Nope—break out the champagne! :D Too true, too true….**

 **Clow Angel, thanks for the review! I'll be honest, I was laughing the whole time I did that chapter because I** ** _knew_** **what the reaction would be. So, apologies. ^^; I think that about ninety percent of the humans in the original series lacked common sense….**

 **Hunter Redflame, thanks for the review! Yes….I was cackling to myself the whole time with the Dratini encounter—I'm sorry, but I'm glad you enjoyed how it went. Hopefully this next chapter satisfies!**

 **ChangelingRin, thanks for the review! This is true—and that is true. And that is also true. Thank you, I shall! :D**

 **XT3100, thanks for the review! Yes, but to be fair he would be in a couple of years anyway—Pokémon training and all. :\**

 **Johnny Spectre, thanks for the review! Hmm, do I want to take that bet….**

 **IceDragonGirl36, thanks for the review! Ah, so I wasn't the only one to think so. Agreed on both counts—and I think she might have had a traumatic experience as a child…or maybe the original show just figured "Girl = hates bugs." I read that the guy who came up with Pokémon liked to catch bugs when he was a kid, so maybe he ran into that a lot (the world may never know…).**

 **Shukkets, thanks for the review! I would be careful with telling a kid with several powerhouses that….**

 **Hall Gowrt, thanks for the review? Not soon, but I do have it scripted. :)**

 **Zaralann, thanks for the review, I'm glad you like it! :D**

 **Philly cheese dude, thanks for the review! You and quite a few people, it seems….**

 **Heaven's Archer, thanks for the review! I'm glad you've been enjoying it! :D**

 **AverageHiveMind, thanks for the review! Love to see nice long ones, they're such fun to read through (not that I don't appreciate all reviews, because I do). 3 Glad you feel that way—I've actually never been fond of cold dark Ash fics, so it's good to hear that someone else feels that way (not to knock them, but it's not my cup of tea). Oh yes—and yes! It seems that quite a few people agreed with Ash on that point. Aha, I was looking forward to everyone's reaction to that. :) Thanks, and hopefully this next chapter was worth the wait!**

 **Garm88, thanks for the review, and glad you like it! :D**

 **JuptileNamudori253, thanks for the review! Yes, slowly….**

 **Kazikamikaze24, thanks for the review! Quite a few people were, actually….**

 **Thanks for the review, Anonymous Person! Me too, although I think that stigma comes from the fact that in the original Japanese translation the Dark type is referred to as "Evil type." This is true, Zorua is adorable.**

 **Forgotten Slacker, thanks for the review! Hopefully I can continue to please. :)**

 **Greatazuredragon, thanks for the review! Haha, yes—or maybe the Elite Four is the second stage, with the mega evolution being the Champion. ;) Ah, I had a lot of fun writing that scene and imagining people's reactions….**

 **Thanks for the review, Guest! Yes….Hopefully the wait wasn't** ** _too_** **long…. :P**

 **Thanks for the review, Guest! Yes, well…hopefully we'll be starting the year off on a better note. ^^;**

 **Tilty bbb, thanks for the review! Glad you like it, and hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Mindmaze, thanks for the review! It is kind of lousy the way she treats him, but considering her personality in the beginning, it kind of works? I mean the first season was mostly Misty harping over her destroyed bike, even after a point where it should have been clear to her that Ash couldn't pay for it. This is true about Ash, but keep in mind he's also used to Darkrai taking care of himself—Misty's continuing shortness might be her losing sleep. *shrug* The topic will definitely come up later with Misty getting over herself, but not for a while, unfortunately. Glad you like the sandcastle chapter though. :)**

 **Thanks for the review Guest! And glad you found that amusing. ^^**

 **JadeDragon100, thanks for the review! Oh thank you, and glad you like Darkrai's characterization (and how he's influencing Ash)! :D Well the good news is, another update is here, and hopefully I'll be entertaining a more regular update schedule again soon. Yeah, Darkrai, screw that thing up! :D**

 **Laconeko, thanks for the review! Haha—and that's a good one, can I use it? :3**

 **CrownOfMarigolds, thanks for the review! I'm glad you've been liking the story so far—and the personalities, especially Darkrai. I know—he's always portrayed as so serious, so writing him this way has been fun. :D Also glad you like Team Rocket here—and to answer your question: I go off the grid for about six months between updates. *bricked* Actually, I write about three pages a day, and I do have something of an outline for this story in my head—it would probably be better for me to write it down like I did for my other story** ** _The Frost King_** **, but so far it works. Hopefully this update fills the void, and thanks again! :D**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo**

* * *

 **And now, for something completely different:**

 **In other news, the Y2K scare is apparently unfounded, as the Porygon and Rotom have not somehow mishandled their internal clocks and sent us back to the stone ages. Residents are informed that they can now stop stockpiling canned goods, batteries, and ammunition. Seriously, please stop.**

Ash passed on going back to the Safari Zone the next day—he really didn't want to run into those people again.

So that led to their next course of action: heading down Route 15 until it swung north again and to Lavender Town, where they would hopefully pick up a Ghost type to combat Sabrina's Psychics in Saffron City.

"Okay," Brock said, reading a guide book as they walked, giving the turning for the Safari Zone a cursory glance as they passed it. "There's a lot of Oddish and Bellsprout and Venonat up this way, if you feel like picking up another Poison type—"

"Please no bugs," Misty muttered.

"There's also Pidgey and Nidoran, and Krabby if you feel like fishing."

"It might take a while to get to the water again though," Ash said, looking back. "That's not until Route 12, is it?"

"You can hit some fishing spots before there, but Route 12 is the best bet," Brock said, flipping through several pages. "We should run into Stone Town and Neon City before we hit there, though."

"Okay," Ash said, stretching his arms above his head. "But the good news is, we've got like, three routes between us and Lavender Town—and I kind of need another bug, Misty. Right now I need a Bug type or a Ghost type if I want to go up against Sabrina."

"Or you could just try to train harder on your way," Misty pointed out, as the trail angled into the woods. "I mean, you _did_ beat me with a _Magikarp,_ of all things."

 ** _"Is she still going on about that?"_** Darkrai asked, drifting out of the woods behind Misty and scaring a yelp out of her.

 _"Don't DO that!"_ she squawked, dancing away from him as she spun around.

 ** _"Do what?"_** Darkrai asked blandly.

"Guys, it's going to be a long haul, I don't want to be hearing you two going at it the whole time," Brock said mildly, not looking up from his guide book as he walked.

"he started it," Misty said, pointing.

"And I don't care who started it, I'm finishing it."

Ash tried very hard not to smile, figuring that wouldn't be very helpful right now. Instead he pulled a Pokéball from his belt and released Vee, who ran circles around an unimpressed Pikachu before skidding to a halt next to Ash, sitting up on his hind legs and yipping.

"We're going to be walking for a while today, so I was wondering if you wanted to walk with us," Ash said to Vee, putting the ball back on his belt. Mostly because he was certain the Eevee wouldn't say _no_.

He was right in that regard—Vee yipped, tumbled backwards, rolled upright and started bounding around everyone, running up the trail a few yards before doubling back, colliding with Pikachu and rolling him before bouncing around the beleaguered yellow mouse, lowering his front and wagging his tail as he tried to cajole Pikachu into playing with him.

"Ka _chu,"_ Pikachu protested, rolling back upright and shaking himself.

 ** _"Agreed,_** " Darkrai said, floating around Ash, apparently deciding that Misty was being too recalcitrant to be entertaining. **_"You might want to monitor his sugar intake—it's like dealing with you in miniature."_**

"It's called enthusiasm," Ash protested.

 ** _"Having the attention span of a Ninjask is called 'enthusiasm'?"_**

"You know, if you're going to be like this, you might as well find somewhere else to be," Misty said, pointing at Darkrai. "No one needs your attitude."

 ** _"Ah, but then your life would be insufferably dull, and then where would you be? Besides, last I checked, your attitude wasn't much improved."_**

Ash noticed Brock giving him a look, shrugged helplessly in response. Brock came to walk beside him as Darkrai and Misty got at it again.

"There are a number of things I want to discuss, starting with the fact that you've been around this guy since you were _five_ ," Brock said in an undertone, apparently not wanting Misty or Darkrai to hear.

"Yeah," Ash said, rubbing his neck. "But Gary was worse."

"Okay," Brock said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "It's important for you to know that hanging around with Darkrai because he's less nasty isn't a good alternative. Weren't there any other kids your age? Adults? Lonely Pidgey?"

"Uh…well, the uh, the guys all followed Gary's lead, girls all have cooties—"

"Trust me, they won't for much longer. Continue."

"And Mom didn't exactly want me messing around with wild Pokémon by myself after that one kid got mauled by Spearow."

Brock pointed at Darkrai. "That counts as a wild Pokémon."

"Yeah, but wild Pokémon usually don't _talk_."

 ** _"That's because you're too poor to actually pay attention,"_** Darkrai countered, not missing a beat as he went back to insulting Misty—and then dodging the mallet she brought into play.

Brock indicated Darkrai again as Vee ran circles around them, still yipping and trying to get Pikachu to play with him. "Okay, I'll give you that one, but we _are_ talking about an extremely acerbic personality here."

"I don't know what that means," Ash said.

"If words were acid, his could dissolve a Metagross."

"Okay, that gives me a clearer picture."

Vee dodged through their legs again, leaped over Pikachu, who ducked and chittered at him—

And then they both went still, ears perked up—looked away, Pikachu standing up on his hind legs—

And then they both dodged into the brush.

Everyone stopped, stared after the rustling noise.

"What was with that?" Ash asked.

"I don't know," Brock said, already trying to wade through the brush after them. "But we'd better get them back before they get into trouble." Struggle some more…."Dah, this isn't working. Does anyone have a Pokémon that knows Cut?"

As it turned out, Bulbasaur knew Cut—he shook himself a little upon being released, nodded at Brock's order, spared a moment to give Darkrai a look that would have frozen Moltres before slicing through the underbrush.

"Perfect!" Brock said, as the twigs and leaves fell before Bulbasaur's assault. "Keep going as far as you can, and as fast as you can—we have to figure out what Pikachu and Vee are up to before they get into trouble."

* * *

Pikachu leaped over fallen logs, squeezed under fallen branches, navigated through mazes of twigs, following the sound that he and Vee had both heard. Occasionally, he'd pass tufts of beige fur—where Vee had gotten his ruff caught in his haste to find the source.

 _"Slow down!"_ Pikachu called ahead. _"Show a little caution, please! Or self-preservation."_

 _"But you hear it too, right?"_ Vee asked, stopping only for a moment to address Pikachu. _"It sounds like a LOT of Pokémon!"_

 _"Which could be a bad thing,"_ Pikachu returned. _"I'm only looking because I want to see if it's worth our time."_

And because something about the chittering and chattering up ahead sounded familiar.

 _"Hold it,"_ Pikachu said, catching up with Vee and grabbing the tip of his tail. _"Heel up, catch your breath— sneak up on whatever it is. You don't want to barrel right into the middle of a pack of hungry Arcanine, do you?"_

 _"They wouldn't eat me, would they?"_ Vee asked, much quieter now; he was pressed closer to the ground—good. It meant what Pikachu was saying was sinking in. _"I mean, that's what wild Pokémon do—we're trained 'mons."_

 _"They might not be—most likely what we're hearing is wild Pokémon."_

 _"But…they'd respect that, right? That we have trainers…that we're not lunch? Right?"_

 _"We don't know that,"_ Pikachu told him quietly. _"That's why we sneak in and sneak up on whatever it is. From downwind, so they don't smell us; quietly, so they don't hear us. Get in close, listen in on them, and if they don't sound or look friendly we sneak back the way we came no harm no foul. Understand?"_

 _"Wow,"_ Vee breathed, sounding awed as he nodded. _"You're really good at this."_

Pikachu rolled his eyes—that was generally what happened when you were a wild-born Pokémon: you either got really good at survival skills or you got really dead, really quickly.

 _"Come on,"_ Pikachu hissed, inching forward. _"Follow my lead, and remember: quiet."_

Vee nodded, belly-crawled behind Pikachu as he minced through the underbrush, hissing quietly when his ear or tail or fur snagged on a particularly nasty twig that apparently had nothing better to do than draw blood—following the sound of chattering Pokémon, keeping his ears flat even though they wanted to perk up at every new voice; perked ears would just offer too tempting a target for those twigs and get tangled up and then that'd be that, he'd might as well be a sitting Psyduck. Carefully placing his paws so they made nothing more than whispers on the forest floor, wincing when Vee put his paws down a bit more heavily, despite the Eevee's care to mimic Pikachu as closely as possible—he heard Vee hiss and looked back, saw that Vee had his fluffy tail snagged on one of those stupid twigs he was going to fry every last one of them if he got the chance—

 _"Don't struggle,"_ Pikachu counselled. " _Flatten down, back up a little bit, try twitching your tail."_

Vee followed his instructions, managed to get free with a minimum of noise and one tuft of fur less. Pikachu nodded, motioned for him to squash himself flatter, inched forward again. They were getting close…he could determine individual words now….Sounded fairly benign, talking about migration movements and what berries were growing where and _those stupid humans trespassing on our territory and ruining everything YEESH_. Pikachu could definitely understand that last sentiment.

They reached what felt like the last bit of cover—Pikachu stopped Vee with his tail, peeked through the leaves….

Scattered throughout the clearing, with several poised as guards, several others grooming or napping or keeping an eye on the younglings—familiar shapes, far beyond the familiarity of species—

It was his troupe.

Pikachu immediately forgot all caution, forgot everything he said to Vee about being careful and all that—he only had one thought as he burst through the leaves.

 _"Mom! Dad!"_

* * *

Bulbasaur was being more conservative in his use of Cut now, sniffing at the ground before slicing up a foot or so of brush, sniffing again before repeating the process. Occasionally he would hold up a tuft of beige or brown fur—Vee's.

"Well, at least we know they went this way," Ash said, accepting another tuft.

"What made them run off like that though?" Misty wondered, a lot calmer now that Darkrai had (at Brock's insistence) flown up and ahead on what he said was a wild Swanna chase; looking up at the dense canopy, Ash could understand that sentiment.

"If I had to guess, Vee heard something and Pikachu ran after him," Brock said, keeping them a respectable distance back from Bulbasaur's flailing vines.

"Pikachu seemed to hear it too though," Ash pointed out. "And he kind of took off at the same time Vee did."

"I _did_ say I was guessing."

"Bulba," Bulbasaur noised suddenly, stopping and holding up a vine. Jerked his head when Brock looked at him, indicating the brush before them. They stood there quietly for a few moments.

Misty was the first one to speak. "Did you hear that?" she asked quietly.

Ash tipped his head, an action mirrored by Brock. "Yeah," Ash said. "It's Pikachu!"

"Ash, wait!" Brock yelped, as Ash leaped over Bulbasaur, throwing his shoulder ahead as he barreled through the rest of the brush—stumbled out into a clearing when the brush proved thinner than he had expected—

And found himself staring at a whole troupe of Raichu, Pikachu, and Pichu, with his Pikachu and Vee right there in the center.

Said whole troupe had frozen at his appearance, ears and tails pointed straight up, eyes locked on him.

Ash hesitated, half-raised a hand. "Um…."

Too much—every last Pokémon except the two in his name fled, bouncing away and into the brush opposite them, all of them barking and chattering and slipping through the bushes like it was nothing, Pikachu and Vee running after them and chattering, Pikachu skidding to a stop at the edge of the clearing, Vee stopping right about when he hit a prickly-looking bush.

Ash hesitated, looked back when he heard Misty and Brock working their way through, ran over to help Vee out of the bush.

"Pika pika CHU!" Pikachu spat at him, cheeks sparking.

"I'm sorry!" Ash protested, kneeling to better extract a struggling Vee from the bush. "You guys just _ran off!_ What was I supposed to think?"

Pikachu glared at a nearby rock, cheeks still sparking—directed that glare to Bulbasaur when he came over and addressed Pikachu. Pikachu was still glaring by the time Ash managed to free Vee.

"Vee vwee," Vee noised, eyes looking wet as he huddled in Ash's arms, licking at several scratches marring his fur.

"It's okay," Ash said, petting Vee's head. "We'll get you fixed up and then maybe later we can practice Swift on that bush."

Vee seemed to like that idea, yipping fiercely at the bush that had attacked him.

"So what happened?" Brock asked, coming over to them, watching as Pikachu studiously ignored everyone.

"It was a bunch of Pikachu," Ash explained. "And Raichu and Pichu and—that was your family, wasn't it?" he asked Pikachu, the concept hitting him abruptly. "Oh man—Pikachu, I'm sorry…."

"Pika _chu,_ " Pikachu noised, now glaring at a rock by his feet, front paws crossed tightly.

"Well…we can find them again, right?" Ash asked, hating the fact that he had basically screwed up Pikachu's probably-touching family reunion. "We know what you'd be doing now, so we can stay here and…you know, _not_ be big scary humans."

"Or loud ones rampaging into the clearing," Misty pointed out.

"I didn't rampage."

"A Rhyhorn had more stealth."

"You did kind of leap before you looked," Brock agreed.

Ash grimaced before turning his attention back to Pikachu. "So whadda you say, pal? We'll wait as long as we have to. Forgive me?"

Pikachu acted like he was having to consider it—or maybe he _was_ considering it; frightening off his family _was_ kind of a lousy move.

"Pi?"

Everyone looked up sharply—something small and yellow was peeking through the bushes.

"Pika!" Pikachu yipped, stepping forward—the yellow thing shied back, causing Pikachu to pause; he bounced around everyone before mincing closer to the small yellow thing in the brush. "Pika, pika pika, pi chu."

The little yellow thing gingerly came forward a step, then another, revealing itself as a Pichu, sniffing at Pikachu carefully before looking over at the rest of them. Ash sucked in a breath to tell it not to worry—Brock poked him in the back, stopping him.

"Bulba bulba," Bulbasaur noised, tossing his head at the rest of them. "Bulba _saur_ bul, bulba."

The Pichu hesitated, looked back at Pikachu, who was standing up on his hind legs now, forelegs tentatively spread in a non-threatening pose….

The Pichu bolted from cover, slamming right into Pikachu's chest, clinging tightly and rubbing its face in his ruff, chittering nonstop as Pikachu hugged it.

"Aww," Misty noised softly—a sentiment Ash echoed, even if he wasn't going to _say_ it.

And then they were surrounded by Raichu rivalling the size of Lt. Surge's Volt, all with angry expressions and sparking cheeks.

And all that aggression was aimed at them.

"Oh 'karp," Ash muttered.


End file.
